Rust Belt Road Trip (2 UPDATES--1/18)

[Mrs. Knowitall]

This included strategically packing suitcases so that we'd only have to unload one at a time when checking into a hotel for the night (Bag 1 had clothes for Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and so on). Obviously, since this was both clever and wise, it was Julie's idea.

Hey. Occasionally I have a good idea.

Lest you think this was some kind of torture on our kids, 6:00 a.m. is about when they normally wake up each day. Yup, even on Saturdays.

He's not joking about this.

My Paradise jokes were flying fast and furious as we drove through, and Julie laughed hysterically at each and every single one.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No, really....

Sarah isn't real big into the Princesses, but she has a soft spot for Mulan. Why? Because she isn't afraid to get dirty.

AND she knows how to fight!

Plus, I can torture Julie, as she has never been a fan of driving through tunnels. Or over bridges. Good thing she married a civil engineer!

What does it mean that you married a elementary and special ed teacher?

As I drove, I spoke to him using our high-tech hands-free system: Julie puts the phone on speaker and holds it near me while I drive and talk.

Again, he speaks the truth. I'M his smart phone.

Excellent strategy, Mrs. Knowitall!

THANKS! +1 for me!

Was she eating cheeseballs too? She could be your own personal Orangetooth.

Oh, you should have waited and gone to Jenny's Diner. You passed it along the way...it's on Rt. 30, just before the Rockvale outlets. Really good for breakfast, and BIG portions!

Yeah, my SIL said the same thing about Jenny's. mmmmm......pancakes......

 

[dvczerfs]

nice update mark. i offened wondered were his main office was? thats ok, dont call me or anything, drove through my back yard and didnt even know you were there.

 

[GoHerd1028]

this article[/URL] not long ago explaining why Ryan Reynolds isn't really a movie star.

Even Better!! Captain Jack will make an appearance along the Ohio River!!

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

This included strategically packing suitcases so that we'd only have to unload one at a time when checking into a hotel for the night (Bag 1 had clothes for Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and so on).

Brilliant

Obviously, since this was both clever and wise, it was Julie's idea.

We already assumed that to be the case, and so I repeat…
Brilliant!

Mmmmmmm… Styrofoam covered in powdered imitation “cheese product”…
That’s breakfast! That’s nutrition! That’s…
Oh heck, pass that barrel over here so I can get me a big ol’ hand full.

Lest you think this was some kind of torture on our kids, 6:00 a.m. is about when they normally wake up each day.

My young’en has grown out of that phase (to be sure). I can get him up early, but little things like human interaction and the English language utterly elude him until about 10:30.

So… it’s close to paradise but not quite paradise? Would that make it purgatory?

…the conductors always followed the same script. They announce, "Welcome...to...Paradise!" just as the train pulls into an overgrown, grimy maintenance yard.

Now that sounds like purgatory. So just how bad must “Almost Paradise” be?

My Paradise jokes were flying fast and furious as we drove through, and Julie laughed hysterically at each and every single one.

Awwwww… ain’t she sweet? Pretending to laugh at your pointless babble like that… My wife does that same thing to me (the two of them must have gone to different schools together).

It was a humble (of course) one-story office. Sadly, it was closed that morning. I was hoping to see a "Gone Fishin'" sign on the door, but no luck.

That… is funny.

National Geographic's Drives of a Lifetime
National Geographic's Guide To Scenic Highways and Byways
Reader's Digest's The Most Scenic Drives In America

The Pennsylvania Turnpike is featured in none of these books.

Hummm… That sounds a whole lot like the Interstate Blues chapter in my current TR.

"The poopies are coming! The poopies are coming!"

It was here that we faced our first crisis of the day: where the heck was the bathroom?

This seems like it's becoming a bit of a trend

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I always wondered where the home office was. Funny, I never considered Pennsylvania.

It's always where you least expect it.

I think she was hoping you'd focus on Environmental Engineering, because who doesn't love a guy who can quote the finer points of waste water management?

Well, I do give her a lot of crap.

I had to take a Wastewater engineering course in college. We even got to tour a wastewater management facility (yes, the girls just flocked to us in college). I saw one huge tank that was empty except for one guy standing in the center with a hose cleaning it. All I could think of was Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

Ding ding ding.... we have a winner!

I wasn't asking what YOU would have done.

Ah we've all been there, haven't we?

Great to see we have the essentials very handy for breakfast.

Cheese balls: quite possibly the world's most synthetic food.

Julie, you are a saint!

Too bad she's stuck with me.

Excellent strategy, Mrs. Knowitall!

Heck yeah! The Museum of Farm Machinery is a great way to start your trip.

Barry seemed really interested, too. Next time you guys are in town, I'll...drop you off.

You mean she laughed silently on the inside, right?

Hysterically, silently, it all means close to the same thing, right?

Again, you should be proud!

Was she eating cheeseballs too? She could be your own personal Orangetooth.

Love it! I need to get my marketing guy on this.

Unfortunately your friends weren't there... fortunately, neither was Fed.

You never see Fed coming!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Those Utz folks obviously use all-natural ingredients.

I'm sure all of the chemicals are in their natural state.

Oh, you should have waited and gone to Jenny's Diner. You passed it along the way...it's on Rt. 30, just before the Rockvale outlets. Really good for breakfast, and BIG portions!

My brother and SIL ate there and raved about it (and didn't come close to finishing the pancakes). I would have loved to do breakfast there! But given that we were trying to get to Pittsburgh by lunchtime, I didn't think we had the time for a sit-down breakfast. Maybe we need to schedule a DIS-breakfast there...

We have a great picture from that day, that's probably a "you had to be there" kind of story, but I'll tell it anyway. He came upon a "Disc/Plow", which apparently is a combo disc and plow thingee, all-in-one (who knew, right?), which he was impressed with. So my mom took a picture of us in front of it. He was smiling away, while Judy and I stood behind him with our hands pressed to our faces, feigning amazement at the Disc/Plow. He had no idea until he saw the picture weeks later. He he he.

Nice work! I approve. So is Disc/Plow a technical term, or is "combo disc and plow thingee" the correct name?

"Could be"?

Only the glennbos know for sure.

I had probably already been at work for a couple of hours already.

Ugh. Really? That just seems...wrong.

Good thing you didn't drive through Intercourse. Julie would've kicked you the second you opened your mouth.

Well, you know I never would stoop to such juvenile humor in this forum. And for everyone else reading, yes, there really is an Intercourse, PA. And it's a very nice town.

That may be your best joke yet! Matthew 4:19.

I have very astute readers.

I guess Bob and Kathryn's son is looking pretty smart about this time, huh?

Mark, I thanked you for your PM and forgot to subscribe... How stupid can one be??

You're asking a guy who got his own age wrong?

The trip seems to be off to a great start - but how are you going to top Paradise? Most people make paradise their vacation destination and you just drive through...

We couldn't stay in paradise...that's just what they'd expect us to do.

Hey. Occasionally I have a good idea.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No, really....

Is that sarcasm? It can't be. I distinctly remember I was amusing somebody in the van.

AND she knows how to fight!

What does it mean that you married a elementary and special ed teacher?

Well, we've already established that I not so gud wid da numberz.

Again, he speaks the truth. I'M his smart phone.

Except the GPS feature seems to have been disabled.

Yeah, my SIL said the same thing about Jenny's. mmmmm......pancakes......

nice update mark. i offened wondered were his main office was? thats ok, dont call me or anything, drove through my back yard and didnt even know you were there.

Thanks, Dave!

I thought you were way up in the Poconos? That would have been pretty far out of your way...

Even Better!! Captain Jack will make an appearance along the Ohio River!!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Brilliant

We already assumed that to be the case, and so I repeat…
Brilliant!

Mmmmmmm… Styrofoam covered in powdered imitation “cheese product”…
That’s breakfast! That’s nutrition! That’s…
Oh heck, pass that barrel over here so I can get me a big ol’ hand full.

It was either that, or chocolate cake for breakfast. Bill Cosby says it's ok.

My young’en has grown out of that phase (to be sure). I can get him up early, but little things like human interaction and the English language utterly elude him until about 10:30.

I know those days are in my future. But right now, if we get to 7:00, we've slept in.

So… it’s close to paradise but not quite paradise? Would that make it purgatory?

I suppose it just might!

Now that sounds like purgatory. So just how bad must “Almost Paradise” be?

I heard they got so bored, they made a museum dedicated to farm machinery.

Awwwww… ain’t she sweet? Pretending to laugh at your pointless babble like that… My wife does that same thing to me (the two of them must have gone to different schools together).

Was it part of your marriage vows too?

That… is funny.

Thanks!

Hummm… That sounds a whole lot like the Interstate Blues chapter in my current TR.

Why, yes. Yes, it does. I prefer to see this as a sign of similarities in great writing as opposed to out-and-out plagiarism.

This seems like it's becoming a bit of a trend

I like gritty, you-are-there realism in my travel writing, don't you?

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Like any good road trip, this one started the night before. Julie and I (ok, mostly Julie) had spent the past week slowly packing luggage and gathering most of our worldly possessions to pack in the van. This included strategically packing suitcases so that we'd only have to unload one at a time when checking into a hotel for the night (Bag 1 had clothes for Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and so on).

Oooohhhh....smart.

Obviously, since this was both clever and wise, it was Julie's idea.

Yeah, we already figured that one as soon as we decided it was a good idea.

We also made sure we had the most essential items for our road trip: a working portable DVD player and power cord, and the kids' Nintendo DS's. Oh, and these (check out the orange teeth!):

Is that map on her lap? Goodness, I hope she wasn't navigating while eating Cheese Balls
Sarah: "Dad, make sure you get off the turnpike in Bedford. The road is closed after that because of some kind of orange smear."
Mark: "Crud. That's going to put us way behind schedule"
Julie : < silently weeps to herself >

You'll be happy to know that Paradise has its own hardware store, and the Paradise Motel offers both air conditioning AND color TV.

I would expect nothing less. I would also expect they have those beds you put a quarter in and they vibrate.

My Paradise jokes were flying fast and furious as we drove through, and Julie laughed hysterically at each and every single one.

Are you sure that catalytic converter was hooked up right? I sounds like the exhaust fumes were being vented into the passenger compartment.

Ditched us completely?

I'll need to get some pointers from them. I tried my darnedest, but I just couldn't shake you. You were all over me like Nnmdi Asmga...like Nnnadmi Amugshada...like Nani Agmushada....heck, like Charles Woodson. He's a better corner anyway, plus is name is actually pronounceable.

I pulled over to the shoulder, and a couple of minute later we got a call--their son needed an emergency pit stop, as it were. Or, as he so eloquently put it, "The poopies are coming! The poopies are coming!"

I prefer "prairie dogging" or, when I'm in a Mike Meyers sort of mood "I've got a turtle head pokin' out" (Must be said with a Scottish accent)

Heck yeah! The Museum of Farm Machinery is a great way to start your trip.

That's what I said when I saw this pic on Facebook! Heck with the city slickers, Andy - let's go!

You mean she laughed silently on the inside, right?

No. I'm sure she laughed silently on the outside. One the inside she cried hysterically.

Even Better!! Captain Jack will make an appearance along the Ohio River!!

Think less "Pirates of the Caribbean" Johnny Depp, and more "Alice in Wonderland" Johnny Depp.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

It was either that, or chocolate cake for breakfast. Bill Cosby says it's ok.

+1 for catching the reference
(We’re all quoting somebody most of the time)

Was it part of your marriage vows too?

Which one…the “pretending to laugh” vow or the “pointless babble” one?
Never mind… I just checked and they're both in there.

Why, yes. Yes, it does. I prefer to see this as a sign of similarities in great writing as opposed to out-and-out plagiarism.

“Great writing”? Us?

I like gritty, you-are-there realism in my travel writing, don't you?

Fiction has nothing on reality. Well… actually it does is terms of marketability and merchandising, but that’s not the point.

Is it?

 

[afwdwfan]

He came upon a "Disc/Plow", which apparently is a combo disc and plow thingee, all-in-one (who knew, right?),

No, most plows have disks on them. I thought everyone knew that.

Nice work! I approve. So is Disc/Plow a technical term, or is "combo disc and plow thingee" the correct name?

City slickers

I heard they got so bored, they made a museum dedicated to farm machinery.

Yeah, they put it in the building that used to house the defunct civil engineering museum.

That's what I said when I saw this pic on Facebook! Heck with the city slickers, Andy - let's go!

I'm in! What's not to like about horsepower and steel?

I prefer "prairie dogging" or, when I'm in a Mike Meyers sort of mood "I've got a turtle head pokin' out" (Must be said with a Scottish accent)

Don't forget the Larry the Cable guy line about taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

 

[middlepat]

Yeah, they put it in the building that used to house the defunct civil engineering museum.

Now THAT is FUNNY!!!!
Andy, I'm sending you the bill for my new monitor as this one is now covered in coffee.

Don't forget the Larry the Cable guy line about taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Cleveland is getting a football team?

 

[afwdwfan]

Andy, I'm sending you the bill for my new monitor as this one is now covered in coffee.

Just send it to your nemesis. I hold him responsible for me making that comment. I'd be happy to buy you a replacement cup of coffee though.

Cleveland is getting a football team?

Who said anything about Cleveland?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Yeah, we already figured that one as soon as we decided it was a good idea.

This seems to be a consistent comment...

Is that map on her lap? Goodness, I hope she wasn't navigating while eating Cheese Balls
Sarah: "Dad, make sure you get off the turnpike in Bedford. The road is closed after that because of some kind of orange smear."
Mark: "Crud. That's going to put us way behind schedule"
Julie : < silently weeps to herself >

I would expect nothing less. I would also expect they have those beds you put a quarter in and they vibrate.

I didn't go in to check, but let's just assume they're fully equipped.

Are you sure that catalytic converter was hooked up right? I sounds like the exhaust fumes were being vented into the passenger compartment.

Of course it was. The pink elephants were laughing at my jokes, too.

I'll need to get some pointers from them. I tried my darnedest, but I just couldn't shake you. You were all over me like Nnmdi Asmga...like Nnnadmi Amugshada...like Nani Agmushada....heck, like Charles Woodson. He's a better corner anyway, plus is name is actually pronounceable.

Except the Raiders got rid of him so they could play Asmo...that other guy.

No. I'm sure she laughed silently on the outside. One the inside she cried hysterically.

Look, Julie smacking me in the arm is part of how she laughs. No, it is.

Think less "Pirates of the Caribbean" Johnny Depp, and more "Alice in Wonderland" Johnny Depp.

*shudder*

+1 for catching the reference
(We’re all quoting somebody most of the time)

Yeah, that's where our best material comes from. I love that bit, by the way. Always cracks me up.

Which one…the “pretending to laugh” vow or the “pointless babble” one?
Never mind… I just checked and they're both in there.

“Great writing”? Us?

Hey, somebody has to pump us up here.

Fiction has nothing on reality. Well… actually it does is terms of marketability and merchandising, but that’s not the point.

Is it?

So I need more aliens in this story?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

That's what I said when I saw this pic on Facebook! Heck with the city slickers, Andy - let's go!

No, most plows have disks on them. I thought everyone knew that.


City slickers

I'm in! What's not to like about horsepower and steel?

I always thought they were a lot more fun and interesting when they're moving. They lose their appeal when they're sitting in a room, collecting dust.

Yeah, they put it in the building that used to house the defunct civil engineering museum.

Oh, you mean this one?

I know, it's surprising that there is such a museum. Most civil engineering wonders (like, I don't know, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, etc....) are too big for a museum.

Oh, and uh...the roads leading up to these attractions are great, too. Ahem.

I prefer "prairie dogging" or, when I'm in a Mike Meyers sort of mood "I've got a turtle head pokin' out" (Must be said with a Scottish accent)

Don't forget the Larry the Cable guy line about taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

I like Bill Simmons' suggestion of using the phrase, "I'm taking my talents to South Beach."

Now THAT is FUNNY!!!!
Andy, I'm sending you the bill for my new monitor as this one is now covered in coffee.

Oh, go buy some toxic mortgages, will ya?

Cleveland is getting a football team?

Who said anything about Cleveland?

 

[middlepat]

Oh, go buy some toxic mortgages, will ya?

You selling yours?

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

You selling yours?

Make me an offer I can't refuse. I'll throw in a free computer monitor.

 

[middlepat]

Make me an offer I can't refuse. I'll throw in a free computer monitor.

Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day – accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day – accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

Grazie, middlepat. Grazie.

 

[afwdwfan]

I always thought they were a lot more fun and interesting when they're moving. They lose their appeal when they're sitting in a room, collecting dust.

Ok, I'll give you that one.

Oh, you mean this one?

I know, it's surprising that there is such a museum. Most civil engineering wonders (like, I don't know, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Statue of Liberty, etc....) are too big for a museum.

How many of those are in Delaware?

Oh, and uh...the roads leading up to these attractions are great, too. Ahem.

Again, how many of those are in Delaware?

 

[dvczerfs]

pending on where you came up, i was probley an hour from where you were. i have clients out that way, i would have driven an hour to meet the captain and mrs knowitall and the oragne toothed kids !!!