Responses you want to put on facebook, but can't

[disfan07]

dang... my friends are boring

I'm in college and I swear that most of the time the status updates are:
Bored in class
college sucks
too much caffeine...havent slept in 2 days (midterm week)
going home for the weekend
cant wait until thanksgiving
etc.

I don't think that we are all THAT boring (I mean we are all late teens-early 20s) but I think we are just smart enough not to post that we are still hungover 2 days later from a night at the bar.

 

[dismom2]

Please quit posting extremely vague things that you know you post just so people will ask you to actually share the story--why don't you just say what you want to say, instead of waiting to be asked? Do you want to see how many people will ask? Or how many people care?

Yes, we know you have 600 friends, but how many are really 'friends', and how many are just there because you want to look popular? This is not high school.

Why did you send me a friends request, and when I accepted and sent a little message asking how you are doing, you never replied? In fact, you haven't posted anything on your wall or replied to any posts,either. Do you just want to add a lot of 'friends' and snoop, but not participate at all?

To my good friend: please quit posting so much personal info. Everyone knows exactly where you live, what your house looks like inside and out, what school your kids go to, what teams they play on as well as where and what time their games are, when you go to the gym and where, where you and your kids are going to be 24 hrs. a day, 7 days a week, when you are out of town, etc...etc...etc.... I'm surprised you haven't been stalked or robbed yet. Please use some common sense so you and your family will be safe. And don't think I'm just paranoid for mentioning these things to you---you can't trust 700 'friends' that (most are) really are not your friends---in fact, you barely know most of them.

Other friend: while you are bragging and making your life seem perfect all the time, your DH is telling the the opposite story to everyone---not sure if you are aware of that. And please don't make everything a competition with everyone else. You don't have to 'do one up' on everybody. And please, please stop doing every single thing I do. I love you, but why must you do or buy everything I do, right after I do so? And if it's better, why do you have to point that out? I am not in competition with you, and it's getting old.

Please stop posting anti-American stuff. I deleted you because of it.

My political beliefs are not the same as yours, and you won't convince me to change that.

I'd love to get together with some of you, but I am afraid to accept the invitations to meet up with some of you because I know that there will be tons of pictures shared the next day on Facebook with the whole world. Maybe I don't want my every move documented in pictures and plastered all over Facebook like you do. Also, you should ask if people want their pictures posted before doing so. It's an invasion of privacy. And I'm sure all those people you took unflattering pictures of aren't too happy that they were shared with a thousand people. Learn what friends lists are...not everything has to be shared with everyone.

I'm sure I have more, but those are my main ones.

 

[dakcp2001]

NoI will not copy & repost. I hate those!


Then the people that constantly send me the "cause" requests. They obviously didnt get the point whenI deleted the first 100 they send me.

No I dont want to play farmville or mobsters that is why I delete those too. Every time, stop sending requests!

 

[mhsjax]

Everything on FB drives me nuts lately. I am so over it. At first it was fun to see my old high school and college friends, but now I am getting requests from people I wasn't even cordial with in school. If I wasn't your friend in school, why would I want to be now??

Also, I could not care less whether you just got a new car or you added an addition on to your mansion, or that you are eating caviar for dinner tonight.

Actually, I really do not care what anyones posts on FB anymore. It's just all a bunch of "Oh, look at me and how wonderful I am, how amazing my husband is and how smart my 7 month old is" crap. And I REALLY do not care what you had for dinner, what laundry detergent you think is best or that you haven't had a BM in 3 days!!

I haven't been on in over 2 months and have no plans on getting back on anytime soon.

I think you and I would get along. Seriously, I joined FB so I would finally have a clue about it, I was tired of all the "the only people that hate FB are the ones that don't have it or refuse to understand it" Well, I did it, I joined. What a waste of time and energy. I have never posted anything, I rarely even check mine anymore. It is so high school. I don't care about anything you are posting, and if it is something that important and you are that important to me, then I will catch up with a phone call at some point or you can call me if you need something.

I actually like the bragging Christmas letter one time a year, it gives me a good laugh, but I don't need the FB version on it 365 days a year. It is a useless tool IMHO. But hey, I have always been the odd man out, and I like it that way. lol

 

[golfgal]

NoI will not copy & repost. I hate those!


Then the people that constantly send me the "cause" requests. They obviously didnt get the point whenI deleted the first 100 they send me.

No I dont want to play farmville or mobsters that is why I delete those too. Every time, stop sending requests!

The modern day chain letter. I hate them too!!

 

[mhsjax]

Lovey-Dovey couples!!!! When you're friends with both of them and their icky converstaions show up---"you are my world" "no, you are" GAG! Get a room, would ya!?!?

Ok, I have to ask, why in the he double toothpicks are couples posting to each other on FB, if they are, then that just sums up the whole problem with FB. OMG, pick up a phone, or here is a thought, wait until you see that person and tell them in person. Please tell me that this really doesn't happen.

 

[StacyMarie]

Your baby is REALLY ugly. I wouldn't advise using it as your FB profile picture.

This made me laugh out loud! So many times I have thought this! It is so untrue when people say that all babies are cute, NO WAY!

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

Other friend: while you are bragging and making your life seem perfect all the time, your DH is telling the the opposite story to everyone---not sure if you are aware of that.

This made me LOL. I have a friend who's been "together" with her boyfriend for 11 years. I'm gonna say that out of those 11, they've really been a couple for 5 of them. She finally convinced him to marry her (no, she says she didn't need a ring), and now she can only post how much she loves him and how much he loves her. Funny thing is, I know what she was doing during 2 of those years they were "together". DH doesn't want to go to the wedding b/c he feels like he's going to tell her boyfriend what happened so he doesn't make a huge mistake. We also don't want to give $300 in an envelope if the marriage will be over in a year.

LSS, don't be holier than thou about yourself if you have skeletons in your closet.

 

[Mama-san]

HATE the copy & repost threads, too - never done it, never will!

For a FB friend (from HS):
One week you're complaining about being treated like crap, next week status changes to in a relationship - he's soooo wonderful, following week single, complaining about being treated like crap. Rinse, repeat. Stop jumping into "relationships" with anybody who comes along, or stop complaining. You're 40 yrs. old - don't be a door mat (or skank).

Lamebook.com is funny too!

 

[keagansmom]

hmmm... Ok so here are some snarky comments

"Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues."
"I'm sorry, was it my job to fill your life with joy today?"
"Contrary to popular belief nobody owes you anything."
"Silence is golden."
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"Always try to stop talking before people stop listening."
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"
"Who died and made you Darth Vader?"
"An authority: someone who knows lots of things you could care less about."
"Before you give someone a piece of your mind make sure you have enough to spare."
"You are cleverly disguised as a responsible adult."
"What part of Mwaaaahahahaha do you not understand?"
"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."
"Careful or you'll end up in my novel."
"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."
"The police never think it's as funny as you do."

and finally,
"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are."

Now back to facebook .......

 

[starwood]

I want to respond to the people who post things that make absolutely no sense. Maybe your close friends know what you mean but the rest of us are just puzzled.

 

[Belle0101]

I'm not sure how I would post this as a response on FB but what bugs me is ....

The posts with a cause that say (praphrasing) "If you believe in this cause, hate this disease, love your son, love your parents, etc, you'll repost this to your wall. I know 97% of you won't post this as your status, but my friends will be the 3% that do."


So if I don't repost with those then I'm not your friend?

I get those EVERYday. I don't go in for peer pressure first and second, if that's the only way you know we're friends, well maybe we really aren't such good friends. I guess I'll be un-friending you.

 

[ashleybea]

Recently my aunt has been hijacking my wall with the stupidest posts. and today she yelled at my friends over FB!
What I would really love to say is:
Please get a life and stop harrasing your family on facebook. you already bug me enough over the phone but the internet too? If you dont stop this I will delete you. I get texts and private messages when you from friends when you post stupid stuff. So stop!

 

[southernbohemian]

I HATE people who live in the same house and comment on each other's posts all of the time. Get up and go to the next room already.

Example (not at all made up, but paraphrased)

Daughter's Status Update: "MMMM - I love brownies." (10 seconds ago)
Mother's Comment: "Yeah, brownies are so good." (9 seconds ago)
Daughter: "You're welcome since I made them." (8 seconds ago)
Mother: "You make really good brownies." (7 seconds ago)
Daughter: "What's for dinner?" (6 seconds ago)

I know they have two computers in their house - but they must have been literally sitting across the table from each other eating brownies.



My husband's ex-wife also loves to log in to her daughter's profile so she can comment on people's pages (like mine) who aren't her friends. Her daughter is constantly having to post "I didn't write that, my mom did." You would think she's get embarrassed, but it hasn't stopped her yet. Get a clue - if someone isn't your facebook friend it's because they could care less what you have to say.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

People on the Left - stop asking me to get involved in your current overwrought cause/tirade.

People on the Right - stop asking me to join you in your current hypocritical manufactured ire.

To the non-religious/anti-religious/had-bad-experiences-with-religion/love-your-own-faith-hate-everyone-else's: stop posting how horrible a religion is based on limited experience and knowledge along with a large dose of prejudice and intolerance. . .one day one of you is going to post something about someone else's religion on a day I'm feeling hormonal and I will issue a b****smack so epic I will spend the rest of my life apologizing. Also, it is totally NONE of YOUR BUSINESS if I pray for FB friends other than you!

To the religious folks who are always posting inspirational messages: That's nice. Really. Insipid. But nice. And occasionally irritating. And trite. But nice.

 

[loveWDWalways]

So, what sorts of posts would you rather see on Facebook instead of the ones you guys are posting about here?

Some of this I am really surprised at (other things I totally agree with)! It's like the pictures projected onto the Cinderella Castle and people complaining about not wanting to see some stupid strangers on it. You don't care about seeing other people's happiness for a few minutes? The same with happy status updates on FB ...

Just wondering

 

[nerdylightbulb]

99% of the time, it's just me wanting to tell my cousin's husband he's an idiot.

 

[flamingglobessigmund]

Guess the prom was clothing optional this year.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

So, what sorts of posts would you rather see on Facebook instead of the ones you guys are posting about here?

Some of this I am really surprised at (other things I totally agree with)! It's like the pictures projected onto the Cinderella Castle and people complaining about not wanting to see some stupid strangers on it. You don't care about seeing other people's happiness for a few minutes? The same with happy status updates on FB ...

Just wondering

I love updates on family, especially if it includes cute pictures of nieces, nephews, great-godchildren etc. I love knowing how my dear birth nephew is doing now that he's home from the hospital. It was good to know how things were progressing when Dear birth mom's house was sideswiped by a tornado. I adore the pictures of young family members dressed up for Halloween and I actually don't mind the posts about what digs friends are going on. (I'm slightly green with envy, but I do enjoy them!) I love being kept "in the know" on what the teenage relations are up to; and it was great not to have to wait my turn for a phone call to find out my DSIL's biopsy turned out to be non-cancerous!

 

[starrzone]

When people post ultrasound pix ANYWHERE I always think "WHY ON EARTH do you think I want to see the INSIDE of your uterus?????"

THIS!!! Yes, I KNOW you're happy that you're having your first/nth child. Yes, even though the picture is of a potential human being, to be frank, it's no cuter or more attractive than a kidney stone (and it kind of looks like one, too). If you'd like, I'll post pics of my next internal Gyno exam; it's the same thing, except the view will be different (and no baby, in my case)!