Replying to an email from your kid's boss.

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My kid has been 14, and thus "work eligible" for 2 weeks, so I'm still new to parenting someone's employee. I want your opinion as to whether I've now ascended to a new level of "helicopter mom" behavior. Tell me the truth!

Here are the facts of the case:

1) Kid has a brand new job as a junior soccer ref. Season starts Saturday. Games are assigned by email. Someone emails out a list of times and you reply "I'd like to do X, Y, or Z".

2) Kid has stated a desire to ref 2 or 3 games, but has missed out on all but one because he didn't reply fast enough. By fast enough, I mean within 2 or 3 hours. Kid is clearly disappointed about that.

3) Kid has an "official" email, made with his own name, that he knows I check regularly. It's for things like school applications, and this job. He uses it for things he wants me to see, or that I have asked him to see. Plus another email with a name like "Cartooncharacter@ . . . " that he uses to communicate with friends. I don't check that one.

4) Today I checked that email during the school day and there was an email that said "you can have X and Y timeslots on Saturday, but you need to let me know fast".

5) I sent back an email that said "Kid's mom here, he's at school but I can confirm he wants those times. Thanks so much!"

Should I be ashamed of myself?

 

[NoSoup4U]

My kid has been 14, and thus "work eligible" for 2 weeks, so I'm still new to parenting someone's employee. I want your opinion as to whether I've now ascended to a new level of "helicopter mom" behavior. Tell me the truth!

Here are the facts of the case:

1) Kid has a brand new job as a junior soccer ref. Season starts Saturday. Games are assigned by email. Someone emails out a list of times and you reply "I'd like to do X, Y, or Z".

2) Kid has stated a desire to ref 2 or 3 games, but has missed out on all but one because he didn't reply fast enough. By fast enough, I mean within 2 or 3 hours. Kid is clearly disappointed about that.

3) Kid has an "official" email, made with his own name, that he knows I check regularly. It's for things like school applications, and this job. He uses it for things he wants me to see, or that I have asked him to see. Plus another email with a name like "Cartooncharacter@ . . . " that he uses to communicate with friends. I don't check that one.

4) Today I checked that email during the school day and there was an email that said "you can have X and Y timeslots on Saturday, but you need to let me know fast".

5) I sent back an email that said "Kid's mom here, he's at school but I can confirm he wants those times. Thanks so much!"

Should I be ashamed of myself?

I would have done the same! And im sure your kid will appreciate it! (lets hope anyway lol!).

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My kid has been 14, and thus "work eligible" for 2 weeks, so I'm still new to parenting someone's employee. I want your opinion as to whether I've now ascended to a new level of "helicopter mom" behavior. Tell me the truth!

Here are the facts of the case:

1) Kid has a brand new job as a junior soccer ref. Season starts Saturday. Games are assigned by email. Someone emails out a list of times and you reply "I'd like to do X, Y, or Z".

2) Kid has stated a desire to ref 2 or 3 games, but has missed out on all but one because he didn't reply fast enough. By fast enough, I mean within 2 or 3 hours. Kid is clearly disappointed about that.

3) Kid has an "official" email, made with his own name, that he knows I check regularly. It's for things like school applications, and this job. He uses it for things he wants me to see, or that I have asked him to see. Plus another email with a name like "Cartooncharacter@ . . . " that he uses to communicate with friends. I don't check that one.

4) Today I checked that email during the school day and there was an email that said "you can have X and Y timeslots on Saturday, but you need to let me know fast".

5) I sent back an email that said "Kid's mom here, he's at school but I can confirm he wants those times. Thanks so much!"

Should I be ashamed of myself?

I don't think you should be ashamed at all. Just think of yourself as his agent! Seriously, though, if the scheduling moves that quickly and he might miss out on a job because he's at school, there's nothing wrong with you checking his email and replying for him as long as he's on board with the plan. Now, if he says he would prefer you didn't communicate with his boss at all, then I would stay out of it.

 

[Bob NC]

I would have just replied, "Yes, I want them."

But what you did is fine.

Either way.

 

[design_mom]

I guess you and your son are the only ones who can tell if you've overstepped, but IMHO, that's not helicopter parenting. If you know it's an opportunity that your son wants and it's likely to be gone by the time he gets home from school, then I think you did the right thing.

My son plays ice hockey and there are sometimes extra opportunities for players on a first-come, first-served basis. He got closed out of several things because I waited to ask if he wanted to participate. Finally he said "go ahead and tell them I want to as soon as you get the e-mail." It works for us.

 

[soccerdad72]

I don't see a problem with that at all.

 

[Mkrop]

I would have done the same thing but I also been called a helicopter mom in the bathroom threads so take my advice with a grain of salt I guess

 

[mjkacmom]

I would have just replied, "Yes, I want them."

But what you did is fine.

Either way.

I've done this before.

 

[DopeyDame]

I started reading expecting you to have gone way overboard, but I don't think you did anything wrong at all! He needed a fast reply, you had the ability to do so, so you did. There's nothing wrong with helping out a family member or someone you care about;.

I think a reasonably standard to apply is "would you have done that for your spouse?" I think many people would have happily and without thought replied for their spouse in this instance.

 

[Mkrop]

I would have just replied, "Yes, I want them."

But what you did is fine.

Either way.

Yeah I would have pretended to be the kid as well

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't think you should be ashamed, but I wouldn't have done it. I might have texted my child (they're allowed phones during school and can use them between classes) and see if they wanted me to reply.

 

[poohfriend77]

For a moment, I thought you were going to say you emailed the boss when he only got one time slot to start with, demanding they give him more jobs.

I think what you did is fine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Eh, I think it is OK. That being said, I would make sure to get your kids opinion of which weekends are available for the future and tell them you will sign them up.

My guess is you are not the only one replying as a parent, just saying.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I would have just replied, "Yes, I want them."

But what you did is fine.

Either way.

I actually had that email typed up and ready to hit send, but then I decided against it. I was wavering though.

 

[wiigirl]

I don't see an issue!

 

[MouseketeerMMC]

Mickeynewestfan I think you did nothing wrong and I would have to give you a gold star and I hope your son appreciates you going out of your way to make sure he gets jobs when he is at an disadvantage by being at school while the jobs fill up.

For a moment, I thought you were going to say you emailed the boss when he only got one time slot to start with, demanding they give him more jobs.

I thought that too when I clicked on the thread link! lol

 

[NHdisneylover]

I also would have responded as if I were my child so as not to make my child.

If I knew my son wanted the jobs and he ad asked me to check the email, I would not hesitate from that perspective. I would have just sent a "yes please and thank you" without alluding to being the mother only because some bosses do NOT want parents involved--and while you were not overstepping bounds at all, so many parents do that I understand why bosses feel that way.

For what this is and for his age, I really o not think it will matter one way or the other though.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Mickeynewestfan I think you did nothing wrong and I would have to give you a gold star and I hope your son appreciates you going out of your way to make sure he gets jobs when he is at an disadvantage by being at school while the jobs fill up.

The funny thing is that I think everyone who has this job is in school all day. There's a senior referee program for people over 16 that pays more and those people work the games for U11 and up. I think he's only competing with other 14 and 15 year olds.

 

[mrsklamc]

I don't think what you did was wrong but I would have answered as your child as well.

There is a specific reason you did what you did, but in most other situations, if someone is old enough to have a job, they are old enough to do their own communicating, and it could reflect poorly on the employee if their parent is communicating on their behalf.

 

[clutter]

When my dd was refereeing, I had emails sent to me. She was playing on a couple teams as well, and didn't always remember her schedule, or if there was something else going on. (Plus she was notorious for not reading her emails.) But that may explain why they send out the emails during school hours, as they expect it to be going to, or at least copied to, parents. But, when she was doing it, they didn't check with those that requested the time, they just sent it out to all - first response got it.