I can tell one heck of a story about my best friend's mom. Her husband died in an accident. He was in his late 30s and she was mid 30s. My older sister was best friends with one of her daughters and I was best friends with another daughter. So the two of us were at their house a lot.
My older sister and parents went to the funeral, but I didn't. When my parents came home from the funeral, they were muttering.
"Damnedest thing I ever saw."
"Never thought I'd live to see the day..."
"Beats all I've ever seen."
"I saw it and I can still hardly believe it."
It went on like that. I knew SOMETHING awful had happened at the funeral. My elementary school brain went to strange places such as the casket falling down and the father tumbling out. WHAT could have been so terrible?
At some point, I asked my sister what had happened at the funeral to make my parents carry on so. Turns out, the widow brought a DATE to her own husband's funeral. She said he was a family friend, but everyone knew he hadn't been her husband's friend and she acted like he was a date and not just a friend. Very cozy.
Within a week, my sister and I would spend the night at their house and when we awoke, the mom would be "out getting doughnuts for breakfast." My sister later explained that the mom had really spent the night with her boyfriend. My parents were clueless about that part as she swore my sister and her oldest DD to secrecy.
She turned out to be one of those women who had to have a man at all times and defined herself by what man she was with. And there could not be more than a few days between one relationship ending and another beginning. She had seemed like an average SAHM, but was actually a hot mess. More than once, she sacrificed the well being of her children to keep a man.
Unfortunately, her belief system made an impression on her daughters and they went on to have messed up relationships with men. Always had to have a man, even if it came at a heavy price. Without going into detail, I can say with certainty she ruined my friend's life. Had her father not died, her life would have been so different. He had been a stabilizing presence.
As much as her daughters modeled their behavior after their mom's, my sister and I were horrified and learned a lesson. If there is a man in our lives that makes it better, fine. But we are just fine with not being in relationship. And I'd never put a boyfriend ahead of my children.