Questions

[Freezing Cold B]

I've always known I wanted a WDW wedding. At this time, I am not engaged but have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. We have decided that we will get married once I finish my PhD. We laugh and say, "we are engaged to be engaged". I'm almost done with my masters, so the PhD is still a few years down the line. We are probably looking at a 2015 or 2016 wedding.

My boyfriend is down for the WDW wedding, but has fears about attendance. My family (extended included) are all dedicated Disney devotees and I'm sure I will have no trouble getting them there. However, my boyfriends family is less "well off" than our family. His grandparents (on both sides) are retired farmers, and are on fixed incomes. His parents are working class, and have limited funds. I'm sure someone else has experienced this problem. What did you do? I'm trying to figure out the budget I need to start saving for, and am trying to figure out if I should include their hotel, airfare and park tickets into my budget.

So any suggestions? I've tried to talk to the boyfriend about it, but we don't really get to any solutions. It would be nice to put everything we save towards the wedding, as opposed to getting people there, but at the same time it wouldn't be worth it if people were missing.

 

[mb187143]

I've always known I wanted a WDW wedding. At this time, I am not engaged but have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. We have decided that we will get married once I finish my PhD. We laugh and say, "we are engaged to be engaged". I'm almost done with my masters, so the PhD is still a few years down the line. We are probably looking at a 2015 or 2016 wedding.

My boyfriend is down for the WDW wedding, but has fears about attendance. My family (extended included) are all dedicated Disney devotees and I'm sure I will have no trouble getting them there. However, my boyfriends family is less "well off" than our family. His grandparents (on both sides) are retired farmers, and are on fixed incomes. His parents are working class, and have limited funds. I'm sure someone else has experienced this problem. What did you do? I'm trying to figure out the budget I need to start saving for, and am trying to figure out if I should include their hotel, airfare and park tickets into my budget.

So any suggestions? I've tried to talk to the boyfriend about it, but we don't really get to any solutions. It would be nice to put everything we save towards the wedding, as opposed to getting people there, but at the same time it wouldn't be worth it if people were missing.

First off, i totally get the whole "engaged to be engaged" thing - DF and I talked about our wedding and actually called DFTW before we were engaged to get the process started. So i get it

Second, we have a situation where my family is just bigger than his by a lot, and i actually chose a Disney Wedding because then it would keep things rather even (i.e. my parent's wont invite their acquaintances), and as a concession to my parents, they will throw a larger reception when we come home to include everyone who can't make it to WDW. So if that's an option, it may be something for you guys to consider - a second party at home where everyone can be a part of it?

 

[sambycat]

I just started typing a long answer here on my phone and lost it!!! GAH!!

So here's the high points:
- passporters guide to weddings and honeymoons. Download e book now! Inexpensive, will update as changes come down the pike and has interactive planning sheets to help you budget
- DFTW tend to be the better attended of the destination wedding places. But it still is a destination wedding. Although I believe you want to provide your guests with as much info and options as possible, noone will expect you to pay their way. I understand that decisions want to take into account circumstances, but etiquette doesn't require you pay peoples way. Also, I worry about how it goes if some people get assistance and some don't or if some are paying for the wedding and some aren't. For us, we we're paying for our wedding so we didn't have any in law concerns.
- I knew my grandma couldn't afford to come. We paid for her, and my mother in law. In the end, after we bought tickets of course!, she didn't come. One choice we made since we had us, my step son, his mom and my brother all on limited budgets was do a vacation home/condo for our pre-wedding stay. 3 days. Then I stayed on property and got ready at our honeymoon suite he stayed with me the night of the wedding and we left on our honeymoon the next day and they stated another night
-because grandma and other family members couldn't come (and we were limited on party size due to venue And budget) we also webcast our ceremony and gramma did see that!!

It is hard and even now it doesn't seem like some decisions could possibly have been as stressful as they were! Another option wouldbe to stay stone for the wedding and go to WDW for the honeymoon or have a really small DFTW and a bug reception at home.

Good luck!

 

[Freezing Cold B]

I'm mostly concerned with the guests being entirely my family. My family (extended family included of 40+ people) visit WDW every few years. I know my family will be there, but his family is different. I think his paternal grandparents could probably save up, but I'm not sure if they would be willing to spend the $$$ to go. His maternal grandmother (who is widowed) is much closer with him, but I know for a fact would be unable to afford the trip. If we helped her financially, I'm guessing the other side would expect the same. Then, she (maternal grandma) wouldn't go if her son (he lives with her) wasn't paid for too. Then that opens the door to other aunts and uncles expecting help. Ugh my WDW wedding hopes at this point begin to disappear.

I was thinking of just a grandparents and parents wedding, but I've never pictured myself having a wedding without my extended family in attendance. We all live near to each other, and are very emotionally close. I'm pretty sure if I got married without inviting them I'd be in trouble with more than a few. Also, I've grown really close to his maternal grandma and I would love to share WDW with her.

I like the idea of the big party at home, and I would like to do that to ensure my boyfriends family friends get to be in on the action. But, I'm still not sure what to do about the actually ceremony and reception. Maybe I should just rent a camper and stick all his family in a camper at Ft.Wilderness. That would be a fun to watch.

 

[transfergirl]

If we helped her financially, I'm guessing the other side would expect the same.

Then you don't mention it to the other side. If they find out, tell them you're using all the frequent flyer miles you have. And tell grandmother how extremely important she is to you, and that you want to celebrate with her.

 

[TabZ]

Maybe elope and have a blessing with everyone at home?

Or have your wedding at home and have a DFTW renewal of vows on your first anniversary?

Tell everyone what you are planning now and have them put the money they'd sprend on xmas and birthday presents for you on the trip instead?