PURE PICKLE - In-Laws Going Same Time (My "Secret" Trip)

[BrianL]

This sounds like the plot to a sitcom where you will eventually run around the parks looking over your shoulders trying to avoid the in-laws, and hilarity ensues. Of course, 99% of sitcom plots could be resolved by simply telling the truth, which I agree is probably the best solution. I hope ti doesn't cause any hurt feelings, but really, is this something worth lying about? Of course, the odds of two people running into two other people in the whole of WDW are very low, but then again it does happen.

 

[MrsDuck]

I wouldn't tell them

I'd try to be NOT where they are. OR, if you need to tell them, maybe do a meal or two with them and call it a day.

 

[DisneyFive]

I also think the collateral damage is far less telling them upfront, than getting "caught" while down there (or later)... wow, that would be a tough one to explain, and probably lead to some lasting issues.

It kinda sucks each way, but you need to pick your poison I guess.

Dan

 

[Bluegrrl]

Well, it's a big big world down there and it possible to not run into them at all. I have an ex-friend who went to Disney (only found out bc my SIL was on Facebook and saw her pic) and I had no idea. My SIL and I actually tried to find her (to kinda run into her and be like, "oh, you are here too, we didn't know!" I'm sort of petty that way!) We couldn't find her despite going to the same place for lunch and then going to dtd where she said she'd be!
But I do agree with others, set boundaries and tell them that you will be there.

 

[DisneyFive]

Well, it's a big big world down there and it possible to not run into them at all. I have an ex-friend who went to Disney (only found out bc my SIL was on Facebook and saw her pic) and I had no idea. My SIL and I actually tried to find her (to kinda run into her and be like, "oh, you are here too, we didn't know!" I'm sort of petty that way!) We couldn't find her despite going to the same place for lunch and then going to dtd where she said she'd be!
But I do agree with others, set boundaries and tell them that you will be there.

Stalker!

Dan

 

[Laurie5013]

I'd have to tell him, even though I wouldn't want to, because if I didnt I would be looking over my shoulder the whole trip worried about running into them! I would just let them know your trip (fp's, meals) is all set and you won't have time to hang out w/them and follow your plan. Or you could try to arrainge one meal with them, like others have suggested.

 

[DonaldDuck77]

We have tried to "go alone" as a family 2 times, and my wife's parents have joined us both times (they are thinking about joining us in October as well). They also paid for us to join them for 2 other complete trips. So they definitely earned the courtesy of our plans and if they wanted to join us. But when we are paying for our own trip, we tell them what we are doing, and it is up to them if they want to follow along or not. Their paid trips tend to be last minute plans, which we were lucky to get the parade and wishes FP+ they wanted.

 

[Bluegrrl]

Stalker!

Dan

You have no idea how much I wanted to run into her!!! She was a mega you-know-what, and the awkward level would have been off the charts!! My SIL was a total enabler too, we were all sitcom-like with it!

 

[WriterGina]

I would be up front with them, but I disagree with PPs who've suggested placating them by offering one meal together. I don't know about you, but my DH and I don't get that many romantic getaways just the two of us without any kids. When we do, I'm really not interested in wasting even one of the few intimate meals we have during that time catching up with my ILs (and I mostly like my ILs). Also, from what the OP wrote, it sounds like these ILs would want them to "show them around" Disney, which would be more than just one meal.

Anyway, I would tell them you're going to be there, because as one PP said, you don't want this to turn into a sitcom plot ducking around corners and constantly worrying you're going to run into the ILs. That will ruin the romance of your trip even if you never encounter them--it'll be like they're with you even when they're not. Just say, "What a coincidence! We planned a Disney trip at that time too, a romantic getaway for just the two of us." If they suggest getting together during your stay, simply say something like, "Any other time, that might be lovely, but we've been so looking forward to a few days of 'just us' time. We'll see you when you get back." If they're going to be "disappointed and hurt," that's on them.

 

[Jazzerfan]

Thanks for all the feedback....it's not that I don't want to be with them, I just don't want to be bothered nor does my husband. This may sound selfish, but we've saved and worked hard on this little trip. They are high maintenance, I feel even a meal would turn into a day long event and they would (I know it) attach themselves to us for the rest of the trip even if we tell them we want to be alone.

 

[sharona]

I would be up front with them, but I disagree with PPs who've suggested placating them by offering one meal together. I don't know about you, but my DH and I don't get that many romantic getaways just the two of us without any kids. When we do, I'm really not interested in wasting even one of the few intimate meals we have during that time catching up with my ILs (and I mostly like my ILs). Also, from what the OP wrote, it sounds like these ILs would want them to "show them around" Disney, which would be more than just one meal.

Anyway, I would tell them you're going to be there, because as one PP said, you don't want this to turn into a sitcom plot ducking around corners and constantly worrying you're going to run into the ILs. That will ruin the romance of your trip even if you never encounter them--it'll be like they're with you even when they're not. Just say, "What a coincidence! We planned a Disney trip at that time too, a romantic getaway for just the two of us." If they suggest getting together during your stay, simply say something like, "Any other time, that might be lovely, but we've been so looking forward to a few days of 'just us' time. We'll see you when you get back." If they're going to be "disappointed and hurt," that's on them.

This.

 

[kaetra]

Thanks for all the feedback....it's not that I don't want to be with them, I just don't want to be bothered nor does my husband. This may sound selfish, but we've saved and worked hard on this little trip. They are high maintenance, I feel even a meal would turn into a day long event and they would (I know it) attach themselves to us for the rest of the trip even if we tell them we want to be alone.

I feel ya - Then don't tell them, find out their plans, avoid them if you can and if they do see you let the chips fall where they may.

My FIL is a giant PITA and we had quite the adventure with him on our first Disney trip. Never again.

 

[Laurie5013]

Thanks for all the feedback....it's not that I don't want to be with them, I just don't want to be bothered nor does my husband. This may sound selfish, but we've saved and worked hard on this little trip. They are high maintenance, I feel even a meal would turn into a day long event and they would (I know it) attach themselves to us for the rest of the trip even if we tell them we want to be alone.

If that's the case, I'd find out which parks they will be at and make sure you are at another one. If you do that, most likely you'll never see them. One year my family went and so did my cousins family. We never saw them, except the one time we went to visit them at their resort.
If you do tell them.....Considering you'll have FP's and so will they (?) they won't be able to attach themselves to you...hopefully none of your FP's will match up and that will take care of the problem. If they ask about a meal, just tell them you already have reservations at a popular restaurant, so that you know they won't be able to get in since it'll be booked.

 

[RustManFan]

Your in-laws? That means they are your husband's parents and I think it is up to him to tell them!

 

[kaetra]

And set boundaries for his high maintenance parents.

 

[Tippytoes1111]

I wouldn't tell mine. My MIL has textbook borderline personality disorder and there's no placating her. It would turn into her running the show lest we be disowned. Looking over my shoulder would be much easier for us. We would probably get put on no-speaking terms for not speaking up the minute we found out about their plans because dontcha know that means we don't love her.

I like the idea of helping them plan where to be on what days. Or tell them how the week earlier or after is known for having much smaller crowds. Maybe they could change their dates.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for you.

 

[POOHsie]

All I can say is, when my DD was growing up we lived in Miami. DD and I went to WDW 1-2 times a year for a short weekend trip, driving up and using hotel coupons for discount rates. We didn't have much $$. My mother in Upstate NY hated my DH and refused to visit our home after an incident with DH when DD was just a toddler. Since the "incident" it was on me to only see family when visiting mom -- 1300 miles away. Never again did my family visit me in Miami. It was expensive and took all my vacation time from work to go up there twice a year. When DD was a young teen, I found out afterwards that mom had gone to WDW with my youngest sister's family. This sister and her DH are the most financially successful of our family. Ten days at AKL. I was hurt that none of them thought of inviting me and DD to visit with them, even just overnight, since they were so close by. My mom couldn't imagine why I was upset when I found out, and sis never said a word. DD is almost 30 now, but the sting of being excluded, which I imagine they must have agreed about before the trip -- it still hurts.

OP -- pls consider their feelings, especially when (not if) they find out afterward that you were at WDW when they were.

 

[luvsJack]

I would just say "Oh? You are going to Disney? We will be down that way for our Anniversary! Maybe we can have dinner together one evening!" (don't actually admit or deny being at Disney just "in Orlando"). Invite them to join you for a really late dinner somewhere outside the parks. Perhaps they will decline? Do whatever you can to make this dinner inconvenient for them and hard for her to latch on to you afterwards. Brush off questions about plans for the rest of your stay. Just make it seem you have no plans. Don't lie, just avoid the actual truth.

IMO, this way, you haven't lied to them about being there. You had dinner with them and your aren't technically avoiding them.

 

[Dismama2boys]

Yikes. I would definitely not try to hide it....I have terrible luck and would end up running into them for sure. The entire situation stinks - so sorry you have to deal with it. My inlaws are...special....and I have DH communicate with them if we need to tell them something. That's what I would do if I were you, and have him explain that it's a romantic get-away and you'll see them another time.

 

[ArwenMarie]

I would reschedule it. But we're used to rescheduling trips and getting hit with airfare fees due to my husband's job. We always schedule our trips knowing that we might have to move them (we only do room-only reservations, etc).

Good luck deciding what to do!