Program Wording PLEASE HELP!!!

[kirstyc822]

Ok, I will try and keep this brief, but I am need of some advic!

We are getting married in the pavilion in September and I am currently putting the programs together,

As we are coming from Scotland, unfortunately not all our family members are able to travel with us - long story short, DFs brother, wife and two kids are not able to be with us, as the two girls are too young to travel. We have been planning for 3 years and originally they were coming but of course we understand they cant make it and it has never been an issue..........

My brother, wife and baby niece (1yr old) are coming, my niece is also my goddaughter and since she will be at the wedding I have decided that I would love to mention her as honorary flower girl in the programs and just have my sis in law carry her down the aisle and take her seat. My DF has pointed out that it may be a better idea to mention all 3 nieces in the program as it may upset his mum that the two girls at home havnt been included.

I completely understand this, so I certainly dont mean to sound like im having a rant, I just dont know how to word the programs now, should I just say all 3 are honorary flower girs?

Im sorry for the long ramble, I realise this isnt a huge issue, I just dont want to offend any family members!

Thanks in advance

Kirsty

 

[lurkyloo]

The thing is, the point of the program is to tell guests what's going on in front of them—what's happening in the service, what songs are being played, who is walking down the aisle and what relationship they are to the bride & groom.

Putting the names of two people who aren't even in the service in the order of service is just going to confuse guests ("What happened to the other 2 flower girls? I only see one!"). It's one thing to be offended if all 3 granddaughters are at the ceremony but only one is picked as a flower girl. But I really don't see how your future MIL could be offended that the 2 absent granddaughters are not listed as flower girls in the program, since they aren't there performing the duty.

I'm trying to think of a way you could put a note elsewhere in the program thanking the girls for their support as honorary flower girls back home or something, but it just seems awkward. Plus, you don't wanna use terms like "with us in spirit" or people will think they're deceased!

What you might do is mail the girls two little princess wands or light-up roses or something with a note designating them honorary flower girls, just as a nice gesture that they'll get a kick out of. Then they and your MIL will know you're thinking of them.

 

[kirstyc822]

Lurky Loo, thank you for your response,

I completely agree that the programs are about the actual wedding party and attendants, the thing is there are 35 of us going to Florida, we invited all our family and friends at the same time and gave everyone the same amount of notice (almost 3 years!) its a little unfortunate that the majority of guests are on my side, (even our minister is from my side!) so my MIL has been a little upset about this, dont get me wrong she is lovely and has tried not to show it but she has mentioned a few times that it upsets her that none of her family will see her son get married (EEEEK!)

I wish I had never decided to do programs now ha! All the planning has been very easy up until this point.

Im sure I will come up with something and anyway were not exactly having the 'traditional' wedding anyway!

Thanks again

Kirsty

 

[lurkyloo]

Hmmm... is it too late to scrap the programs? It seems like the easiest way to avoid dealing with this, plus that's one less thing on your already full plate! You don't really need them unless your ceremony diverges from the traditional order or you want to make a point of acknowledging certain people. I say skip the stress!

 

[sambycat]

Not sure what your plans are and your budget and all, but lots of our family couldn't come and we added on a live webcast of our ceremony with our videographer. It was a big success! Not sure how the time difference would sort out for you, but just a side note!


Good luck with all your plans! Hang in there!!

 

[kirstyc822]

Thanks girls,

Yes I have thought about scrapping the programs but I was really looking forward to doing them to thank people and to have a little memento of the day for myself, I had actually thought of scrapping the whole flower girl idea but I really want to include my god daughter as she will be there!

Ah well, Im not stressing about it, I do see where my MIL is coming from, she is a proud mother and granny so I cant argue with that, also it would probably be nice for the girls to know we remembered them even though they are too small to be there - or maybe im being too nice

Ah the joys eh! I just dont have it in me to go bridezilla on this - I will choose my battles elsewhere

Thanks again, your advise has really helped

 

[Tiggeriffic79]

How about re-naming your god daughters role... Instead of flower girl that has traditional connotations.... How about flower fairy, wedding fairy, Petal Pixie or something of the sort? And then making all 3 honorary flower girls.... You could just give her a special mention as your god daughter. Hope you sort something out

 

[kirstyc822]

Tiggerrific,

I love this idea! Thank you very much! That will keep us all living happily ever after

 

[tinkerbell 766]

For our recent VR, we put a footnote on the programmes thanking vendors etc but also thanking our friends and family for their support.
Could you say something like 'We would like to thank our family and friends for their ongoing support and devotion, and in particular our three nieces who have brought such joy and love into our lives'. Just a thought!!!

 

[kirstyc822]

Tinkerbell,

I think youve cracked it - perfect idea!

Thankyou very much

 

[tinkerbell 766]

You're most welcome!!

 

[Mindyjoy]

Great solution, Tinkerbell!