Please delete this thread

[BEASLYBOO]

(stay an extra day after your guests leave - or know you are taking another vacation in six months).

Now that's an exellent idea!

 

[WALTSAGOD]

I like the threads where people will make the vacation for what they want, then ask friends if they want to come along for a planned vacation.

I am always shocked by the vacationers who feel bad when they change their plans to satisify friends needs, then regret it.

Vacation where, when and how long you want. Guests may decide to come or not, based on what you have planed. Sounds simple enough.

 

[DisDaydreamer]

I feel your pain... from a different, but similar perspective. Last year for the first time we invited our grown kids and well... they didn't cause any schedule, booking, or room change, but they didn't get it. That you might have to wait until AFTER 4pm for your room. After that it was a matter of the Bad Moods Bears.... Mary Beth and I gained a new appreciation for being on our own.... alone... It will be a while before we consider sharing our DVC time again.

That was a long story made real short.

Hope everything works out for you all and you have a great time.

 

[JLS]

I feel for the OP and others. I have planned so many trips, not just WDW, for people only to have similar things happen. its frustrating. What I have learned:

1. If there is still flexibility in booking, give potential guests an absolute response deadline and make the deadline at least a week before the drop-dead date (maybe before 7 months, for example) by which you would be put in a bind. Make it absolutely clear how much the cost is (if you are expecting a contribution) and when you need their commitment. Then the expectations are clear. Let them know that if they commit then cancel, its like a non-refundable reservation.

2 Don't over-compromise. You are running the show. Ultimately it is your vacation, your DVC, etc. Plan something that will make you happy whether or not others join you. Then if they back out you are not stuck with something, or dates, you did not want in the first place.

3. If the other people do not want to plan meals, etc. in advance, just plan them for your family. Its not a big deal. You guys will have somewhere to eat, and if they are stuck eating burgers and fries from CS every day, so be it.

4. I like the saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't get them to drink." The obsessive planning types like myself often have trouble unless everyone is researching and understanding everything and getting the most out of the experience. I have learned just to let it go. Lead those friends and family to the water, and if they decide not to drink, let it be their problem!

 

[crisi]

Now that's an exellent idea!

Thanks, it was a result of the mother in law trip.

My mother in law is a wonderful and generous woman - and very unlike me. And I didn't expect her to enjoy Disney at all. And while she is a wonderful and generous woman, there are periods of time where her lips purse and the disapproval is written on her face - and rampant consumerism (although she loves stuff) and corporate America tends to set her off - she is a former hippie through and through. So I was kind of counting on a disappointing trip - and talked my husband into our first DCL trip four months after we got back....that way "if your mother drives me crazy, I will tell myself I get to go on the cruise."

We ended up having a wonderful time - it may be my favorite all time "bring people to Disney" experience. Showing that you can never anticipate these things. We gave her lots of time to poke around the World Showcase shops while we ran around with the little kids (we took her sister as company).

The cruise was nice as well.

Now, when we take people we always try and build in some time when they CAN'T invite themselves along - getting in a day early or leaving a day later - or my favorite, the backup vacation. It saved the vacation when we brought friends who became the Barnacle Family - and turned out to have VERY timid kids so spent a lot of time sitting outside rides. It kept the peace when my family was all together - I like my family, but my brother in law drives me nuts and my husband doesn't have my sisterly affection to temper how crazy he gets driven.

 

[LVSWL]

Ugh..it upsets me just to read these posts! We have seen both sides of this coin. People just don't understand DVC, no matter how well you try to explain it, no matter how far in advance you plan, some people just either don't "get it" or just don't care that it really DOES cost you money if they either don't show up or only show up for a couple of the days when you have a 7 day ressie. So.. the ones that "get it" get to go with us, the ones that don't DON'T! At least we now have a list of who gets it, but unfortunately you can't always know ahead of time who might not "get it".

 

[maburke]

4. I like the saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't get them to drink." The obsessive planning types like myself often have trouble unless everyone is researching and understanding everything and getting the most out of the experience. I have learned just to let it go. Lead those friends and family to the water, and if they decide not to drink, let it be their problem!

I have learned to let it go, too. I love to plan, and my husband hates it, so I know I'll just take it on myself. When we plan with other families, I have one "just trying to figure out what you like: character meals, roller coasters, midafternoon nap for the baby" session. Then I tell them that I will issue a color-coded Excel spreadsheet with the schedule. They all get a good laugh out of that, until they realize that I am serious. I tell them they are free to join or not join, as they wish, it's just a map of where WE will be.

I also want to say to all of you that put up with your freeloading family, thank you for going above and beyond. If my brother-in-law hadn't put up with us freeloading on his points for at least two or three trips, we'd never have caught the bug. Thanks, Stephen!

 

[dianeschlicht]

We always plan for "down time" without guests every time we invite folks along. It keeps ups sane! Usually guests keep us moving like banshees the whole time they are there, but once they leave, we actually see and do more and it's less hectic.

 

[surfer_ed]

What a great thread. I planned a trip 2 years in a row to take my brother, his family and my mom down and he always cancels at the last minute. Got a call last week from my mom that this is the year and he is going for me to work out some dates again....

 

[xipetotec]

AgggghhhhH!!! I could CHOKE my brother. Last year we invited him, his family & my dad on our first trip "home" this June. We had points banked from the contract we bought, and with this years' pts and some borrowed from 2010, was able to book 6 nights in a 2 BR + a studio at BCV.

In Jan, DB said he's worried about his job (understandable), and can't go because he's afraid to ask for time off. Fair enough. We ask if it's OK if our nephews go cause grandpa still wants to go to WDW with all the grandkids. We're covering the room, grandpa is covering the tickets & we're going to split food expenses, so it's NO money out of DB's pocket. They said yes, that would be fine.

This morning I called Member Services to inquire about cash rate to add 2 nights to the 2 BR and while I'm on the phone, I cancelled the studio that I'd never gotten around to cancelling and banked the rest of our '09 points to 2010.

4.5 hours later, my brother informed me that the boys aren't going now because he and my SIL want to go with them on their first WDW trip. I can understand this, but come on -- you're just now thinking of this?!

So here we are less than 4 months out, stuck with a 2BR for 4 people, and nothing smaller available at BCV. We don't want to stay anywhere else because it's our first trip "home", and we don't want to use all those points for just 4 of us.

We ended up having to book 3 studio nights at SSR and cancel 1 night at BCV to free up some points. We still ended up having to borrow 31 pts from 2010 to cover the difference since I just banked pts this morning.

Lesson learned -- we will NEVER invite anyone to join us again. It is just too much stress and hassle if they back out.

I can certainly understand that stress. In our case, my mother is the official "owner" but she has me as an associate on the account and I do all the planning and booking. And she insists on bringing my aunt's family and cousin's family. Which is fine, cause they don't usually back out. *however* it is very difficult to REINFORCE the notion that i *need* to know way in advance FOR SURE if they are coming or not! We stay at the BCV on spring break typically and do not want to get left out in the cold with bookings, so we give them a 1-year-before deadline. coming yes/no? If no, then it's too bad, if yes, then you are aware that we are BOOKING you in April for the following March and expect that you are coming.

 

[Quiksilvr]

We took my parents, a sibling, and a cousin last year, and it all worked out pretty well. We stayed in a 2BR at OKW. My parents and cousin traveled together from MD, my sister traveled from CA. My wife and I traveled from DC. My wife and I got there a day before everyone else, so we had some time to get into the room and get situated. It worked out pretty well.

My parents aren't really theme park types, so they used resort services or just relaxed most of the time. My wife and I herded my sister and my cousin around the parks during the day. It worked out well. I can see how it will become more difficult to do that as people marry and have kids, but this trip worked out okay.

I had originally also invited another sibling to come along who decided not to come because of money issues. However, that sibling made the decision before we booked anything (because I demanded a final yes/no answer after several weeks of waffling) so it didn't require a room change.

If someone backs out on me (after I've made a reservation) in the future for any reason that I deem frivolous and inconsiderate, I'll never invite them again. It's my money and my points, so I don't feel any guilt about what I choose to do with them.

 

[Boardwalker]

Part of the DVC thrill for me is bringing friends and family. They get one chance at a cancelation, and that is all. I don't owe them a room, and I am blunt enough to tell them when they cost me something that I can't recover.
It does take a few trips for people to get the hint that I am not responsible for being tour guide 24/7, that they are encouraged to go away every so often, so that I can refresh and recharge. If they don't, I do , and once they are willing to venture forth on their own, things go fine, and it can be wonderful because everyone is responsible for their own good time.
My biggest problem now is that people want to tell me when we go, (their favorite time of year), as opposed to when I want to book.
I am about to curtail that, though, and tell them when I am going and just asking if they want to come along or not.
I think I have created some monsters here .

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Happened to us, too.

Parents bailed on us, left us with a dedicated two bedroom at VWL in '06 for the first week of december (and I'm sure that's all I need to say about not having any wiggle room on ressies for that time of year)

It was actually nice having the two kids in the studio part-we had our friends who had 1 bdrms and studios come over for dinner, wine and a movie and all the kids were in the studio part watching cartoons.

It was expensive, though, and we called it the stupid tax.

Our lesson was never to book a two bedroom again, always separate so they can be let go or rented out if people bail.

 

[ncsbracergp94]

Wow.. I hope I don't run into similar problems in 2011! Naomi and I purchased at BLT during our trip in January. It was her first time to Disney but my 5th and afterward the idea was brought up to bring her two friends Heather and Alex down. After debating the time frame with college graduations, park seasons etc we settled on October. I intend to bank and pull to get a week in a 3brdm Grand Villa since its their first times going I figured let them have their own bedrooms, shower an what not.

If one of them backs out at the last minute..... lets just say if I can't switch things it'll be a very interesting vacation with just 2 people in a Grand Villa lol. "Hunny, where are you? lol I cant find you!"

 

[DisDaydreamer]

Wow.. I hope I don't run into similar problems in 2011! Naomi and I purchased at BLT during our trip in January. It was her first time to Disney but my 5th and afterward the idea was brought up to bring her two friends Heather and Alex down. After debating the time frame with college graduations, park seasons etc we settled on October. I intend to bank and pull to get a week in a 3brdm Grand Villa since its their first times going I figured let them have their own bedrooms, shower an what not.

If one of them backs out at the last minute..... lets just say if I can't switch things it'll be a very interesting vacation with just 2 people in a Grand Villa lol. "Hunny, where are you? lol I cant find you!"

Welcome to the DISboards, Steve!

Hope all works out as planned

 

[dvczerfs]

Wow.. I hope I don't run into similar problems in 2011! Naomi and I purchased at BLT during our trip in January. It was her first time to Disney but my 5th and afterward the idea was brought up to bring her two friends Heather and Alex down. After debating the time frame with college graduations, park seasons etc we settled on October. I intend to bank and pull to get a week in a 3brdm Grand Villa since its their first times going I figured let them have their own bedrooms, shower an what not.

If one of them backs out at the last minute..... lets just say if I can't switch things it'll be a very interesting vacation with just 2 people in a Grand Villa lol. "Hunny, where are you? lol I cant find you!"

if they stick you, call me , ill even drive!

 

[OneMoreTry]

I'm coming in on this late, and didn't read the whole thing. I'm not sure how this has worked out, but I have no doubt what I would do in your original situation.

I would TOTALLY ENJOY the 2BR with 4 people!! You're not spending any points you weren't going to spend anyway if your brother HAD come. You don't need to save them to invite him in the future, cause you ain't gonna do that. You'll have more space and I guarantee the extra square feet will be totally worth it.

A word of advice also. Even though you may not think it as glamorous, if you change your mind and invite DB in the future, it would be much better to stay together at OKW in one of the bigger units -- they're not just a little bit bigger. I would never want to squeeze 2 famiies into a BCV 2 BR. You'll be more likely to be on speaking terms when it's all over. Then save THOSE extra points for when you're there by yourselves for F&W or something like that.

JMHO.

 

[anonymousegirl]

This thread is scaring me! I am planning a family trip for July 2010 at AKV for my sister and her family of five. I figured to give them a two bedroom and take a studio for myself and DH (more of a bolt-hole although it is fewer points than a Grand villa).

I am a complete planner, and my DBIL is a laid back seat-of-his-pants type of guy. He has already told me that planning what rides to ride when is not how he does things (this just after complaining that the last time he went to WDW he spent so much time waiting for rides )

So I forsee some interesting times ahead. I figure I can still do Disney my way and just leave his family a guideline for each day (wisdom gleaned here on the boards for example).

Or I thought that maybe we could compromise and do one day at the parks my way and the next day do it his way, parks, resort, sleep in, whatever.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the non-planners I cannot change;
the DIS-wisdom to plan the things I can;
and the ability to hold my temper when the plan goes to to you-know-where.

 

[jco_direwolf]

So I forsee some interesting times ahead. I figure I can still do Disney my way and just leave his family a guideline for each day (wisdom gleaned here on the boards for example).

Or I thought that maybe we could compromise and do one day at the parks my way and the next day do it his way, parks, resort, sleep in, whatever.

So I would say two things (and remember I only know about you what you are posting here.) So I'm not trying to be critical, but your post does raise some questions in my mind.

But why would you go with someone that you aren't sharing the experience with? There are five families (two friends, and my Brother's, and two of my in-laws) we go with to Disney, we don't plan every SECOND together, but we try to plan the bulk of the time together.

The whole idea of going and seeing someone at the beginning of the day and the end of day, just doesn't do it for me as a shared time. For me having the shared experience is what going with someone else is about, so you have the pictures, and you can talk about the time Little Denise kissed Minnie Mouse on the Nose.

Second, and again I don't know you nor do I know who you are taking. But I suspect that do the splitting the days, just won't work. You'll feel like you wasted a whole day, and the person you are taking will hate your days as being too "structured."

My suggestion would be to get him a copy of the Unofficial Guide. And explain to him, he is spending $X on this trip. Doesn't it make sense if you are going to spend that kind of money to have a "general" plan? Although that argument works for me, it doen't work for people who decide on the way home from work to walk into best buy and drop $5k on a new stereo/TV/whatever.

johno

ps. the picture of Denise kissing minnie is hanging near the elevators in at the Boardwalk (or at least was.)

 

[anonymousegirl]

So I would say two things (and remember I only know about you what you are posting here.) So I'm not trying to be critical, but your post does raise some questions in my mind.

But why would you go with someone that you aren't sharing the experience with? There are five families (two friends, and my Brother's, and two of my in-laws) we go with to Disney, we don't plan every SECOND together, but we try to plan the bulk of the time together.

The whole idea of going and seeing someone at the beginning of the day and the end of day, just doesn't do it for me as a shared time. For me having the shared experience is what going with someone else is about, so you have the pictures, and you can talk about the time Little Denise kissed Minnie Mouse on the Nose.

Second, and again I don't know you nor do I know who you are taking. But I suspect that do the splitting the days, just won't work. You'll feel like you wasted a whole day, and the person you are taking will hate your days as being too "structured."

My suggestion would be to get him a copy of the Unofficial Guide. And explain to him, he is spending $X on this trip. Doesn't it make sense if you are going to spend that kind of money to have a "general" plan? Although that argument works for me, it doen't work for people who decide on the way home from work to walk into best buy and drop $5k on a new stereo/TV/whatever.

johno

ps. the picture of Denise kissing minnie is hanging near the elevators in at the Boardwalk (or at least was.)

You mention some good points.

For the my day/his day plan, I'm hoping that he'll soon realize how many more attractions with less waiting we'll do if we actually have a plan and follow it (this maybe be wishful thinking, but we'll never know if we don't try). I am going to try to negoiate 2 RDs (HS for TSMM and MK for Fantasyland). Luckily I go often enough that I'll probably let this trip be at their family, although I don't know if I'll survive doing the parks his lackadaisial way.