Picky eater alert

[fivikse]

I see all of these posts about "picky eaters" and I wonder what in the world is going on? All of these kids can't possibly have a medical issue. That is not statistically possible. Why is it that American kids are all of a sudden incapable of eating a wide variety of normal food? But if you dare suggest that the parent's are responsible by not feeding their kids right from the beginning, you are the most awful person on the planet. It's either American kids have somehow developed a strange disorder, or it's because they are being allowed to be this picky. I worry about the health of many of these children. They can't possibly be getting proper nutrients from those kinds of diets. No wonder little kids are getting diabetes. I think that new parents should have available to them classes that teach them how to properly feed their kids. I imagine many don't know the dangers or how to handle situations where their kids don't want to eat what they put in front of them. Society has lost this parenting knowledge that is normally passed down. I believe that so many get defensive about it it because they just don't know how to handle it. There needs to be more resources.

Sigh. Kids can be very healthy and picky at the same time. Truly. I have identical twins. When small they were fed many different kinds of foods. As they grew, one became "picky" the other did not. So I have identical twins, raised the exact same way, with very different things they will eat. Their father is 50 years old, was definitely not coddled as a child, and has very similar food issues.

They are teenagers now. The picky one eats plenty of fruits and veggies - they just have to be raw. She eats plenty of protein - it just can't have sauces or be mixed with other things (so no soups, casseroles, sandwiches). A lot of it is texture related. At home it is very easy to prepare and accommodate this - I can set out cheese, turkey, and bread separately without making a sandwich, for example. On vacation, in restaurants we aren't familiar with, it is more complicated. For that week, I will usually let her order plain noodles, or mac and cheese, or whatever. I'm not going to fight her for a week's vacation - I just make sure she also eats some fruit or ask for a salad (no dressing) that she can eat the veggies out of separately. Since this is a vacation board, you are reading the questions people have about a week away from their usual places, and a week they'd prefer to not fight with their kids. This is no reflection on what the rest of the year looks like, so maybe, if you don't have a helpful response, just scroll on by next time.

 

[Alan1972]

My mother tried to make us eat liver and onions. We wouldn't, though. Also lima beans. I still won't eat either. That was 60s picky eating. So I understand what Alan is saying.

yup we all have foods we like and dont like. Its the entitlement of expecting a restaurant to make your picky kid who only eats junk food a custom order or even think for 1 second that its ok to ask for that,that I find most shocking.

 

[Lilsia]

To some degree's I agree and other points not so much... I do say this respectfully...

When I was in school a long time ago, we had something called health class... where they taught you about the basic food groups, you know the pyramid and things like nutritional value, how the body worked and processed this food, and what happens when you don't eat right... which I don't think that this is something that is offered or study in classes nowadays... along with other class that were electives like Home Economic, which both boys and girls could take, how basic cooking skills, as well as budgeting and shopping for food.

Plus all this Vegetarian, Vegan, Paleo, Keto, Pescetarian, and on and on the list goes... Ways of eating or lifestyles... Then no carbs, no sugar, no this and no that, gluten free, gluten sensitive, lactose intolerant, or milk protein intolerant( which I am). Then comes in organically grown, organically raised, free range, no hormones, no high fructose corn syrup and on and on it goes... Then the issue of what kind of milk - whole milk, 2%, 1%, almond, coconut, and again every day more and more

Then adding in all food allergies, which true food allergies is something that I understand well as I have one which is not very common Coconut. Yet it is very common in foods, flour, oil, milk, so something that I have to be aware of... There is a difference is a true allergy with adverse reactions up to life endangering consequences or just someone wanting to be current.

Kids need certain things to grow and flourish, and keeping a balanced diet is important.
With some understanding you can get around what they like and don't like... For instance I don't drink milk, even as a kid, the smell of it just makes me gag, so my parents gave me other things like yogurt, cheese.. When my DD started drinking whole milk, I would fight the urge to gag, to make sure she got what she needed.

Goodness with all this.... how would anyone be able to wade through all this... if they don't know the basic of nutrition, and how the body works and what it need to maintain it.

Lets be honest... there are foods that we just don't like the taste of which is okay. It starts when they are young you have to introduce them to a variety of foods, and sure there are things that they won't like, still you have to give it a try and retry along the childhood road. For instant my grandson will not eat mashed potatoes, he like potatoes every other way, and he doesn't like cooked carrots, yet loves raw carrots.. It's all about finding a balance and what works, and developing from there. Yet when a kid only want chicken nuggets, and pizza, how did this kid get to this point?

Absolutely. No one is saying to force gag inducing foods on your kids. If they don't like carrots, give them green beans, etc. But they NEED to have a balanced diet. And it is important to keep trying foods out because tastes change. So many people don't even introduce kids to many foods. Kids grow up not even knowing what some common produce is. I think people would be surprised at what their kids would actually eat if they were given to them from a very young age. The best thing to do is to not even give your kids mac and cheese and chicken nuggets at all. If they don't know what those are, they can't "only" want to eat them. They reported that kids are getting scurvy now because of lack of vitamins and very poor diets. Scurvy!

 

[Lilsia]

Sigh. Kids can be very healthy and picky at the same time. Truly. I have identical twins. When small they were fed many different kinds of foods. As they grew, one became "picky" the other did not. So I have identical twins, raised the exact same way, with very different things they will eat. Their father is 50 years old, was definitely not coddled as a child, and has very similar food issues.

They are teenagers now. The picky one eats plenty of fruits and veggies - they just have to be raw. She eats plenty of protein - it just can't have sauces or be mixed with other things (so no soups, casseroles, sandwiches). A lot of it is texture related. At home it is very easy to prepare and accommodate this - I can set out cheese, turkey, and bread separately without making a sandwich, for example. On vacation, in restaurants we aren't familiar with, it is more complicated. For that week, I will usually let her order plain noodles, or mac and cheese, or whatever. I'm not going to fight her for a week's vacation - I just make sure she also eats some fruit or ask for a salad (no dressing) that she can eat the veggies out of separately. Since this is a vacation board, you are reading the questions people have about a week away from their usual places, and a week they'd prefer to not fight with their kids. This is no reflection on what the rest of the year looks like, so maybe, if you don't have a helpful response, just scroll on by next time.

That is not at all what I am talking about. Eating a variety or healthy foods, but not liking certain ones, is not the "picky" we are talking about. ONLY eating 4-5 items, that hold no nutritional value is the issue. Like you see so many on here saying that their kid "only" eats mac and cheese, nuggets, pizza, etc. Those will not give your kids a balanced, healthy life. We all know this and there is no justifying that. And this in not about a week's vacation because they clearly say "only". And it affects everyone. From higher health care costs, to the fact that the trend is feeding kids this crap only making it what is on almost all kid's meals menus. It is a big PITA to find some healthy kids meals for those who eat a normal diet. It makes it harder for the rest of us to find decent food to feed our kids. We just ended up ordering them an adult meal, at adult prices. So it does affect us. The menus alone should tell you that this is not some "vacation" eating since kid's menus are like this everywhere. And the fact that you even say that it is not worth the "fight" with them is telling. Why would you fight with your kids about their food if they eat a variety of foods?

 

[seb65]

I have a picky eater, since she started solids. Someone above said there should be more help. I totally agree. For YEARS we have brought it up at every doctor appointment and always got “she will grow out of it”, “she is growing just fine” or “try one new thing at a time”. We have been trying all sorts of suggestions and seeking advice and day care had tried as well. Finally I found a doctor who would listen and we have an appointment with a specialist. I just hope it isn’t too late.
So please know it isn’t always from lack of trying or caring from the parent.

 

[LovesTimone]

Sigh. Kids can be very healthy and picky at the same time. Truly. I have identical twins. When small they were fed many different kinds of foods. As they grew, one became "picky" the other did not. So I have identical twins, raised the exact same way, with very different things they will eat. Their father is 50 years old, was definitely not coddled as a child, and has very similar food issues.

They are teenagers now. The picky one eats plenty of fruits and veggies - they just have to be raw. She eats plenty of protein - it just can't have sauces or be mixed with other things (so no soups, casseroles, sandwiches). A lot of it is texture related. At home it is very easy to prepare and accommodate this - I can set out cheese, turkey, and bread separately without making a sandwich, for example. On vacation, in restaurants we aren't familiar with, it is more complicated. For that week, I will usually let her order plain noodles, or mac and cheese, or whatever. I'm not going to fight her for a week's vacation - I just make sure she also eats some fruit or ask for a salad (no dressing) that she can eat the veggies out of separately. Since this is a vacation board, you are reading the questions people have about a week away from their usual places, and a week they'd prefer to not fight with their kids. This is no reflection on what the rest of the year looks like, so maybe, if you don't have a helpful response, just scroll on by next time.

While your twins eat differently they are eating a variety of proteins, and fruits and veggies. Which is great, and healthy eating, and eating what they like. Everyone is different so it makes sense that they would be different in what they like as individuals. My grandson is the same way, no sauce, and he prefers raw veggies, tomatoes, carrots, celery, broccoli all raw and not even ranch to dip into. He also like pickles, and olives, on there own, not mixed with anything, no spaghetti or red sauce, loves just plain butter noodles, Like chicken pretty much any way just no sauce, and if it comes from the grill he will eat it, again no sauce that he can see. He eats very well, and is very healthy. Some people call it picky, I just think of it how he like to eat.

When people post that their child is a picky eater and they only eat - Mac and Cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets, fries,or tater tots that's what people take it as that they only eat those items. and this is the only thing that they eat ever... at home, school or where-ever..

I posted previously, my take is breaking down whats on the menu, and making it relatable to the child. So that when you sit down to eat whether your on vacation or home or where-ever that kids can make a choice that they will like and better for them.

We have ordered ice-cream for lunch before... Kitchen sink... Vacation mode strikes again...

 

[wideeyedwonder]

Re: Ordering off-menu for a picky eater, I posted this in a previous "picky eater" thread, and it is all true:

From a recent “DFBGuide” video (“how to avoid these magic kingdom disasters”) on YouTube...AJ says :
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“Disney is incredibly accommodating, with special dietary or picky eater needs. Ask your server what can be done; this is something they hear 20 times a day. If you’re on a special diet, or you are allergic to an ingredient, they can show you the allergy menu to help make your choices. If necessary, the chef will come out to speak with you and see what they can do. We’ve seen chefs make special meals just for guests that can’t eat off the menu. If you are allergic to a particular ingredient, the chef might be able to modify the recipe for you so you can still eat the food safely. As for those picky kiddos, or, hey, maybe it’s you, no judgement here, you have options too. Talk to your server; often they have choices for children not listed on the menu. Your kid is likely not the first picky eater they’ve encountered. We’ve had servers hook us up with chicken nuggets and fries, or Mac and cheese at restaurants where it wasn’t on the menu. If you ask, you might be surprised what they can do for you.”
----------

As always, ask in a kind and respectful way, and be prepared for a kind “no” in return, if it comes to that. Have a great time!

yup we all have foods we like and dont like. Its the entitlement of expecting a restaurant to make your picky kid who only eats junk food a custom order or even think for 1 second that its ok to ask for that,that I find most shocking.

In my opinion, this not entitlement. You are offering them a good (money), and asking them if they can provide a service (off menu food). They can then accept or decline the offer. This happens in establishments with good customer service (Disney, for one, usually), see the above quote. Again, ask in a kind and respectful way, and be prepared for a kind “no” in return.

I am not the parent, just the Nana, and not about to spend this precious week with my grandchild fighting over food.

Very likely, Disney will have a way to help you out; they are in the "dream" business, and they want you to be happy (if reasonable) so that you continue spending your hard earned $$$ on their products. Just be respectful when you ask, and have a back-up plan if the request can't be accommodated. And have a great trip!

 

[Lilsia]

I have a picky eater, since she started solids. Someone above said there should be more help. I totally agree. For YEARS we have brought it up at every doctor appointment and always got “she will grow out of it”, “she is growing just fine” or “try one new thing at a time”. We have been trying all sorts of suggestions and seeking advice and day care had tried as well. Finally I found a doctor who would listen and we have an appointment with a specialist. I just hope it isn’t too late.
So please know it isn’t always from lack of trying or caring from the parent.

There does need to be more help, I completely agree. There is this misconception that just because you become a parent, that you should automatically know how to do everything. I don't say these things to be nasty to people, but to educate. Like you, other's have been told they will outgrow it and it snowballs. Other's just don't understand the permanent ramifications of lack of nutrition in kids and since they are "growing" they don't think that the child is affected. Lack of nutrients does affect the body, mind, and personality. I saw a study that showed kids that had a bad diet all had lower IQ's then those who ate a healthy diet growing up. Take care.

 

[MomOfDisneyPrincess]

We always went to Chef Mickey's for breakfast on our trips and the last time, I threw my daughter for a loop when I scheduled for lunch. She's not a picky eater, but she had her taste buds set for scrambled eggs and was disappointed. She asked the server and in no time, he came out of the kitchen with the biggest plate of scrambled eggs I had ever seen in my life! She polished them off and declared them the best eggs she had ever tasted!

 

[Twilghtsprkle]

If something is nowhere on the menu, then they most likely don’t have it. My kids aren’t picky eaters, they can’t be with an allergy to tomatoes, potatoes and peppers (including pepper seasonings like paprika and chili). Every time we go to a restaurant I tell them to pick 2-3 things that they think they’d eat and we’ll see what can be adjusted to be safe for them. They end up eating steak a lot because it is one of the things that is seasoned when they cook it.

 

[Dug720]

I teach special ed, and a couple of our speech pathologists work with the kids at breakfast and lunch to introduce them to new foods. I had one kiddo in my class for autistic students for 2 years and he went from literally only eating chips and nuggets to tasting a variety of foods, and even discovering he liked some (broccoli for one).

She's start with putting one new "offensive" food at a time on his tray. He didn't have to do anything but tolerate it being there. Moved up to smelling it. Then moved to touching it with his tongue. And finally to taking a small bite. Each stage could be a few weeks. But with time and patience, this child went from being the pickiest to being the only one who would at least taste the things we made in the "cook shop" program. His mom couldn't believe it until she saw video proof of him trying different things.

And this speech pathologist did this with multiple kiddos. It takes time and patience and not giving in, but it can work.

 

[B-Ride]

I am not the parent, just the Nana, and not about to spend this precious week with my grandchild fighting over food.

Absolutely. It is not your responsibility to raise your grandchild. If the parents are fine with a picky eater then go with the flow.

 

[seb65]

I am going to try this. We haven’t had this suggestion yet.

I teach special ed, and a couple of our speech pathologists work with the kids at breakfast and lunch to introduce them to new foods. I had one kiddo in my class for autistic students for 2 years and he went from literally only eating chips and nuggets to tasting a variety of foods, and even discovering he liked some (broccoli for one).

She's start with putting one new "offensive" food at a time on his tray. He didn't have to do anything but tolerate it being there. Moved up to smelling it. Then moved to touching it with his tongue. And finally to taking a small bite. Each stage could be a few weeks. But with time and patience, this child went from being the pickiest to being the only one who would at least taste the things we made in the "cook shop" program. His mom couldn't believe it until she saw video proof of him trying different things.

And this speech pathologist did this with multiple kiddos. It takes time and patience and not giving in, but it can work.

 

[soniam]

Man, there are some real judgy people on here. I have tried to raise my child to be understanding and not judgy. Hope you guys don't live in glass houses, because none of us is above reproach about something in our parenting. Some of the suggestions are useful, but denigrating people doesn't serve anyone. The OP should not have to justify her choices to a bunch of strangers on a message board. She asked a simple and conscientious question. It behooves us all when posters stick to the original question.

 

[Dug720]

I am going to try this. We haven’t had this suggestion yet.

It is a slow process of baby-steps, but it worked with all the kids I saw her try it with! Good luck!!

 

[Lilsia]

Man, there are some real judgy people on here. I have tried to raise my child to be understanding and not judgy. Hope you guys don't live in glass houses, because none of us is above reproach about something in our parenting. Some of the suggestions are useful, but denigrating people doesn't serve anyone. The OP should not have to justify her choices to a bunch of strangers on a message board. She asked a simple and conscientious question. It behooves us all when posters stick to the original question.

You can think that all you want. But let me ask you this, if someone said that they were locking their kid in their room and not letting them go outside for fresh air and sunshine, would you not think that they were doing something wrong? Would you just say, "raise your kids how you see fit'? A horrible diet is nutritional starvation and is very harmful to a child. I am giving people the benefit of the doubt that they were not aware how horrible it is to their child and hope that maybe even 1 person makes a change to their child's diet by reading this thread. When you are doing something wrong, but are told that it is right, it can cloud your judgement. If more people took the time to help other parents with their knowledge, it would be a better world for kids. There are plenty of kids that don't have a choice because of economics and there are services to help them, but who is helping the kids who have parents that can afford better food but don't feed them it? Don't those kids deserve an advocate?

 

[jmw33]

Man, there are some real judgy people on here. I have tried to raise my child to be understanding and not judgy. Hope you guys don't live in glass houses, because none of us is above reproach about something in our parenting. Some of the suggestions are useful, but denigrating people doesn't serve anyone. The OP should not have to justify her choices to a bunch of strangers on a message board. She asked a simple and conscientious question. It behooves us all when posters stick to the original question.

I am seriously sitting here in shock reading post after post from these judgy know it alls calling the op "entitled". Such a sad world we live in. Both my boys were picky eaters as toddlers and pre teens. Their pediatrician assured me not to worry and guess what...they both eat mostly everything now at 14 and 16..and shockingly..both have been on the honor society all through grade school and high school. I guess the studying and hard work paid off while they ate chicken fingers, pizza and raisen toast for so many years.

 

[hdrolfe]

Our next trip will be the first time as an "adult" for me son (he'll be 12, and we were last able to go at 9). He is picky, he doesn't like sauces, has difficulty with some textures and prefers certain foods. He will try new things, but if I don't think he will actually like it I prefer to do that at home rather than paying full price for a meal he'll take a bite of and waste. I suspect we will do more quick service where we may order kids meals rather than sit down places simply because of that. We do look at the menus, and it helps if there are pictures of the food to see. He prefers pasta plain, meat with no sauces, raw vegetables (but not salad). He is well aware that he is "picky" and does try to want to try new things. He likes when we cruise because he can try new things and have a back up of something he knows he likes. And as for junk, yes, in public that's probably the safest choice for my son, restaurants like to offer "fancy" foods with sauces and such, he just wants things plain. But chicken nuggets and pizza are usually universal. At home though, he likes all kinds of meat and seafood, with raw vegetables (including broccoli).

As for the OP's original question, I'd look at the menus and see if there is something your son would eat, and if not, don't plan to eat there. I'm going through this now, and we are looking at menus together to see what it offers, the problem (of sorts) being that even the buffets we used to go to are now family style with a set offering, most likely that he won't eat. So breakfast is a top choice and any place that will serve steak, plain. Good luck, and enjoy your trip.

 

[Sargeant Tibbs]

You can think that all you want. But let me ask you this, if someone said that they were locking their kid in their room and not letting them go outside for fresh air and sunshine, would you not think that they were doing something wrong? Would you just say, "raise your kids how you see fit'? A horrible diet is nutritional starvation and is very harmful to a child. I am giving people the benefit of the doubt that they were not aware how horrible it is to their child and hope that maybe even 1 person makes a change to their child's diet by reading this thread. When you are doing something wrong, but are told that it is right, it can cloud your judgement. If more people took the time to help other parents with their knowledge, it would be a better world for kids. There are plenty of kids that don't have a choice because of economics and there are services to help them, but who is helping the kids who have parents that can afford better food but don't feed them it? Don't those kids deserve an advocate?

I think you've read way too much into the OPs post. Your lectures are also very paternalistic, and an example of the reasons that I, as a parent of a soon to be 3 year old, steer clear of parenting groups, mommy groups, parenting books, blogs, and magazines, and generally anyone thinking they know better than me how to raise my own child. There are things my husband and I will do wrong and things we will get right, but this is our family, and no one else's. My attitude probably comes from being 39 years old. At this age I'm no longer out to force people into my views. Nor do I care so much about the choices of others, so long as they don't affect me.

My daughter is, at this very moment, having Chef Boyardee Mini 123's and yogurt for breakfast. She's going through a phase. She will be fine.

 

[persimmondeb]

Any "bad diet" statistics I've seen have reflected inadequate diets, not middle class rations of pizza and chicken nuggets.

Which while not what my DH normally eats, sometimes what we order in desperation.

And Disney is extremely accomodating about order requests. If they can do it, they will. DH loves Disney World restaurants because it's easy to order. The kitchen never forgets an accomodation. The waiter never bats an eye.

We took a Disney cruise once, and you keep the same waitstaff throughout the trip. They were awesome, and figured out what his preferences were very quickly. Unbelievably good experience, and he actually was able to experiment a little since he trusted them and the kitchen not to bring him things he wouldn't eat. Obviously DW isn't quite able to deliver that level of service, but they're very, very good about it.

I went with my sister, who's almost as fussy as my DH, plus a vegetarian, plus has restrictions beyond a slightly sour stomach (which will happen with some of my husband's no gos), and she was impressed with how well they handled things. It should be easy to get something good for your kid in most restaurants.