We are having our DFTW in December - DF and I live in NJ and all of our family and friends are scattered through the rest of the US. Because of location and travel, I've opted to not have a bridal shower...I don't want to put people at an extra expense when they are already paying to attend my wedding. We've booked our rehearsal dinner at the Polynesian Luau for all of our family but want to do something fun and different with our friends. I was thinking of having a "Margarita" themed party but not sure where we could do that and I don't want to have a drunk-fest either...just an adults only (minus parents) low key get together for some food, fun, and a few drinks. How can we do that - should I ask my MOH? Should we pay, should she and the BM pay, should people pay for themself? What do all of you think?