PARENTS of TWINS - Talk to me...

[camdensmom]

Are my Disney trip days over? Are we destined to travel in a minivan? Will I ever sleep through the night again?

DH and I are expecting identical twins at the end of the summer. We have a son who will turn 4 in July. We were so surprised by the news and are now experiencing sticker shock at the reality of the situation. I would love to hear from twin parents on just how drastically our lives will change. Can you tell I need a pep talk.

Also, we were told we are having identical twins and with that comes a higher risk for complications. They are mono/di. Any thoughts, insight or experience there would be much appreciated.

 

[mjkacmom]

My twins were born when my other kids were 1, 4, and 6, and it was tough. Can't see why your disney days would be over - my twins loved it! The most important thing is to line up help, especially so that you can nap. I didn't bf, so DH was in charge of 50% of the feedings. We'd either divide the night up, or pick a baby. Now that they are 6, I LOVE LOVE LOVE having twins, and don't know how I survived a singleton! They are best friends, and play together, so I can get a lot done. I think it gets easier around age 3, and awesome by 4. And yes, get a minivan - makes life SO much easier (I already had one when I found out we were having twins). Congrats!

 

[absmom2]

One of the most rewarding experiences of my life has been having my twin girls. With that said, it has also been one of the most challenging. I believe a lot of what you experience with twins is how you deal with things. I am a type A personality and wanted everything perfect. My son who was 2 1/2 when the twins were born was the most laid back, by the book child. Everything with him was easy. However, that made having two children at once all the harder for DH & I. The girls will be 5 next month and I can honestly say I don't know where the time has gone.

No, you will not sleep for a while (it took my girls 13 weeks but then they started sleeping all night) but it will be over in the blink of an eye.

Yes, Disney may have to go on hold for a while...alot of that depends on whether you have family/friends willing to help out and travel with you. I never let the fact that I had 3 kids under 3 stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I needed the sanity of some days escaping from my house and my family made that possible.

A regular car is hard because of us having three car seats but I wasn't the mini-van type....I went the SUV route instead and love it!!

I honestly believe God will never give us more than we can handle and you can do this. There will be days when you think you can't but before you know it you will be where I am...wondering where the precision time went. I know that not all twins are this way but mine are best friends. One of the neatest things now that they are older is sitting back and watching and listening to this awesome bond the two of them have.

This will be a hard transition because you will always have two babies needing the same thing at the same time but in time you will develop a routine that will work for you. Believe it or not, it is possible to feed, hold, carry, etc. two babies at once. Also, with you other child being 4, you can involve him/her as well to help get bottles, blankets, diapers, etc....it really helps them feel more involved and helps you as well!

From my personal experience, this has been the best experience ever!! Please feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions! You'll do great once you find the routine that works for you.

PS...mine were not identical but we painted one toenail just to be sure we knew who was who for the first month or so.

Good Luck!

 

[luckymom3]

First of all congratulations! this is a very exciting time. Our twins are 6, two girls and 10 days before they turned 2 we had our 3rd daughter!! Twins are wonderful! Absolutely not, your Disney days are long from over, they are just begining baby! Disney will be even more fun now.
advice though...well number 1 for me and my other friends with twins was to right from the begining, feed both at the same time! when one gets up in the middle of the night, just wake the other to feed him. We got our twins on an amazing routine like this which my whole family was in awe of. believe me it is easiest that way. I do not have a mini van we have an SUV, but either way you will need the room! I think the infant stage is the easier of the time. they sleep alot. it's when they are on the go that's more tiring. Sure you will be losing sleep but boy is it all worth it. our girls are amazing. all twin pregnancies are high risk, but most are without complications these days. ours were born at 36 weeks and were healthy thank God. it's overwhelming right now i know. email me anytime!! luckymomthree@verizon.net or PM me
routine is key, and DON'T stress out too much. so the house isn't perfect or things don't get done right away. Don't put too much pressure or stress on yourself!!

 

[asktriplets]

the thought of having multiples was scary, and completely overwhelming to think about!
the minute i walked out of our sonography appt. when they told me we were having triplets, i completely LOST it...sobbing hysterically. the only thing that i was coherent enough about for my DH to understand? "i have to drive a...a...a... MINIVAN!"

the first year was a blur, but my kids came home from the hospital on a schedule, so i got more sleep than many other singleton moms that i know. my kids got breastmilk for a year, but i PUMPED, so everyone who came to visit got to pull their weight and do nighttime feeds! (which meant that, again, i was getting much more sleep than others!!)...i highly recommend this whether breastmilk or formula!

my identical girls were mono/mono, and they had absolutely no complications...mono/di has a risk for TTTS? with monitoring, i imagine your sweet little ones will be just fine! there are some fabulous twin support groups, both locally and online that can give you some more info. regarding that. i highly recommend getting involved with a twins group (online or IRL) so you can talk with others about their experiences and start building a good support network.

i cannot imagine life without my 3. things are not as i had planned them to be when we first started out dreaming of a family, but i certainly wouldn't trade one day away (well, ok, maybe there were a FEW days here and there that i would have been happy not to have experienced). DH and i are loving our crazy life!

as for disney, we first took our 3 just after their 2nd birthday, and we've been taking them every 6 months since then! it's a blast!

i wish you health and happiness!

 

[ryanshana]

my cousin has triplets and twins. The twins were 3 when the triplets were born. Everyone pitched in not only when the trips were born but also when the twins were.

Also they went to Disney world all of them. Grant it my Aunt went w/ them but they did have 5 little ones! You should be ok! GL to you and your family!

 

[Mickeyherewecome123]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Twins are such a blessing!

I have 5 year old fraternal twin boys. And it has been the best thing that has happend in mine and DH's lives. My boys were such good babies. I am someone who likes to keep schedules and write everythign down. It is a huge help to get your babies on a schedule as soon as possible. feed them, bathe them, change them and get them to sleep and nap at the same time. If you are going to bottle feed (I pumped and gave my boys bottles of breast milk), definalty invest in a boppy pillow so you can hold one and have on right next to you on the boppy pillow feeding. And rotate who you held so that you get equal time with each baby.

Keep a chart of what time you fed them how many ounces they ate, changed them (pee or poop), if you admininstered any meds wright that down too. Cuz beleive me, you wont remember.

For the first couple months you will be tired, but once they get into a routine, things will calm down. Try to have some help the first couple of weeks.

Again, Congrats and best wishes.
Fran

 

[kerry34]

First off Congratulations!!! Twins are indeed a blessing. My fraternal twin girls were born when my older kids were 7, 5, and 4. It was quite a journey. Your lives will change, but it isnt as ominous as it seems right now. At first it will seem like you will never sleep a full night again, but it doesnt last forever. As far as traveling goes, we have traveled with our twins to Disney since they were two, it was work when they were smaller, but just like sleepless nights, they grow up in a flash. Our twins are 9 yr old now and it amazes me when I look back on our Disney trips and see how each has grown through each trip. Good luck!!

 

[luvillians]

I don't have twins but I am a twin. From what I'm told we always had playmates (each other) actually entertained each other a lot. We also had separate friends that we gravitated to based on our own personalities.
One thing I will say, is that for some reason many people don't understand is that twins are two separate people. Please don't feel the need to dress them exactly alike all the time (a complaint of a lot of twins). Another complaint we twins have is being constantly compared all the time. One might be quiet, or cuter, or quicker at learning things. Please try to keep others from comparing them as well. If anyone out there has ever gotten sick and tired being compared to an older sibling then take that times one hundred and you will know how a twin feels.
One last bit of advice is that if your kids talk "gibberish" sometimes or need some time with each other before their day starts.....then let it happen. My twin and I actually did better sharing a crib until we got too big for both of us to be in the same crib. Our ultrasound showed us in the belly back to back and that's the only way we could sleep!

 

[scrapbookmom5174]

Congratulations. Being a mom of twins is wonderful. I have a boy/girl who are 10 and then another daughter who is 7. Since the twins were our first, I didn't know what to expect. I did BF them until they were one and they did not sleep through the night until 10 or so months, so sleep was something of a rare commodity for me. DS was a cranky little guy, so he made our lives kinda miserable for about the first 6 months. I just remembered how wonderful it was when they started be mobile (and I really mean that). They could come to me when they needed something and seemed much more content once they could be more independent. I can not emphasize enough to get a schedule for them as PP already posted. We ate at the same time every day, we napped at the same time, we probably changed diapers at the same time. We had everything down to a very consistent schedule. I drove a Saturn at the time, but did have to upgrade to a Minivan because I could barely get my groceries into the car with all of the car seats, stroller, and baby stuff all in one vehicle.

Twins are wonderful and such a blessing, but they are a lot of work - but it is so worth it. They will have a life-time friend like nothing else.

Remember there will be some tough days, but there will be a whole lot more better days than the rough ones. If you ever need to ask questions, please feel free to PM. If I hadn't had someone to ask a million questions to (another mom of twins), I am not sure what I would do.

Congratulations again.

P.S. I've never been to Disney before, but I am quite sure your days aren't over. Just maybe postponed for a little bit.

 

[Jumba17]

Find a local twin club - there is nothing better than the support of other multiple Mom's! Here is a link to the National Organization:

http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_clubsearch&Itemid=43

Twins are lots of fun, but a lot of work too. I don't remember very much of that first year due to lack of sleep - so bank some now while you can!

 

[spare+a_pair]

CONGRATS!!!!!

I am a mom to a 9 year old and 4 year old twins - all boys. My oldest DS turned 5 two weeks before the twins were born.

I'm not sure about your Disney days, since we will be taking our first trip in early Dec., BUT having twins is an amazing experience!

I second the notion of joining a Mothers of Multiples club. Even if you have a singleton, raising twins is a different beast. Friends who have babies that are close in age will try to compare, but honestly, nothing compares to having two babies hungry at the same time and only having one pair of hands available. (Thank goodness for bounces!)

Another piece of info that I will pass on was acually from my OB/GYN. I was a total worrywart. Everything I read about twins made mer nervous! He told me that I could read all I wanted, and ask him questions, but I wasn't allowed to worry unless he told me to. So find out about th issues, and talk with your doctor. In my experience, and with talking from friends in my twin club, doctors are quick to let you know if you are "high risk".

I also worried that my oldest son would feel left out when the twins came. I made a big deal about him being the "Big Brother". I got him a special "Big Brother of Twins" shirt and hat that his newborn brothers "gave" him in the hospital. I was also VERY insistant with our overly excited families that they were NOT to see the babies until DS1 could meet them. He came in after I was back in the room, and we bonded for a bit as a family. He held his brothers while dad took pictures. Then, HE got to introduce all of the grandparents to his brothers. This made him feel very special - even at 9, he still talks about it to them.

Good luck with the pregnancy - having twins has been an amazing experience! If you ever want to chat feel free to PM me - I'll send you my e-mail address!

 

[justwinnie]

Your Disney days are certainly not over! The fun is just beginning.

I have a 5 year old daughter and fraternal twin boys who will be 1 in 2 weeks. My has the time gone quickly! The twins were completely unexpected but we just can't imagine life any other way.

We went on a trip when the boys were 5 months old. It was a pretty easy trip-- they just slept in the stroller most of the time. I was happy just to stroll around with them and take it easy. My mother in law did travel with us, but I think that we still could have done it alone without any problems.

Here's my story, if you're interested...

I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks before our planned Disney trip-- no time to reschedule but we figured it would be a nice easy trip-- our last as a trio! We told our daughter her wish to be a big sister was coming true right after watching the Wishes fireworks. I wish we had a video camera to capture her reaction-- she was sooo excited and as we walked down Main Street on our way out, she told anyone and everyone that she was going to be a big sister-- that her wish came true! What we didn't know!

As soon as we returned from our Disney trip, I had my first ultra sound appointment. We didn't know we were having twins and my daughter wanted to see the baby so we brought her along. During the apt, the tech asked some questions that made us worry, but then told us I was carrying twins. My husband and I were speechless. My daughter asks, "What are twins?"

We walked out of the room and went to the vestibule so we could talk a bit. We explained that we were having two babies and the first thing my daughter said was, "I told you we should have bought the mini van!" Yes, we just bought a RAV-4 two weeks ago! No way 3 car seats would fit in the back. The mini-van was my daughter's favorite car that we test drove.

I walked around in a daze for weeks. I was in complete disbelief-- I never imagined having twins. Even now I can't believe I have twins. But when I look at their sweet sweet faces, I think about how doubly blessed I truly am. They are very good babies!

The first few weeks were a blur. I just remember sleeping on the sofa a lot because it was more comfortable for me after the c-section. Things finally got "normal" around 3.5 months. They were on a schedule and had started sleeping through the night. It's amazing to watch them grow up, see their relationship develop, and just have them in our lives.

We'll be going back to Disney in November. We can't wait to see their reactions!

Best of luck to you for a healthy pregnancy and for healthy babies!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I agree your days at Disney are not over they are just beginning. Just think two girls obsessed with princesses
My boys just turned 8 (I also have dd 9 and a ds 13) so the twins were my last and we survived.
Maybe it will be put off a bit at first but I see you having triple the fun now with the three kids.
If you have any questions feel free to pm me. I know of a great twin site

 

[ariel53098]

My twins came to me in a different way. Here is my story:
My oldest son is adopted. We got him when he was 10 days old. He was born in the US.
When we were in CA we got ready to adopt again but the birthmother changed her mind. We left for Morocco a few months later thinking we'd do our year at the embassy there and try again when we got back to the US. Meanwhile the embassy did a lot of charity work for a local orphanage and we were asked to consider adoption. Girls are typically adopted by the wealthy to be servants and there is a 6 year waiting list for a girl. I told them that we only wanted a girl or we'd adopt in the US. THe night before we flew in a social worker to do a homestudy my Moroccan friend had called me about an orphange visit and told me they had twin girls but no one wanted both. The King of Morocco's top aide's wife went in and told them she would take just one but the director said no. I was in shock! TWINS??? I was just thinking one more! We had to special order baby things (crib, carseat, etc) from the US and they were scheduled to arrive by ship in two months. How was I going to add in another crib, double stroller, etc? It all worked out and a few weeks later we brought the girls home! I'm blown away that just 15 months ago I didn't even know they existed!!!

The girls were 6 months old when I brought them home so I didn't do the newborn stuff but I swear this one twins website helped me survive! I was overseas with no family support, my husband's job required him to travel a LOT, but I did have a part time housekeeper.
We took a Disney cruise last December when the girls were 16 months and they loved it. We'll do a WDW vacation later this month.
We are back in the states now but there is no local twins club. I still rely on the website and go to it when I have questions, etc.
Routines are important but you'll be fine!
Rachel

 

[OmahaNEDad]

Our boy/girl twins turned 5 years old ealier this year. This June we will be taking them on their second WDW trip. They ask to watch the Disney Planner DVD every few days.

I would highly recommend looking for a local Parents of Multiples club (like a few other poster already recommended). If you dont have a local club use on of the online multiples communities.

 

[Order66]

My twins (frat boys) were born at 33 weeks and did spend 8 days in the hospital before coming home. The best part of that was that they came home on a very good schedule. That's the best advise I can offer....keep the schedule the same. When one wakes up, wake up the other and feed them both. Put them both down for naps together. Otherwise that's all you feel like you are doing is caring for one child after another all day. And you can sleep when they do. I didn't BF so I made up the days worth of bottles each night. I taught mine early to take the formula room temp right away so they didn't get used to it warmed up. I got them to take it cold when they were around 5 or 6 months. Also my husband and I took turns. I stayed up late for the 2am feeding and he got up early before going to work to feed at 6am. Then I actually got to sleep from about 2am to 9am or so. It was hard the first few months until they slept through the night, but that goes by as slowly (or quickly for some) as 1 infant.

My boys are now 9 and are each other's best friends and worst enemies. LOL They always had someone to play with and learned from day 1 to have to wait their turn and to share. They were really far ahead of a lot of other kids in their preschool because they had never known life existed as an only child. It took them until they were about 6 to understand that most people do not have a twin. They thought everyone's brother or sister were their twin.

They were my first (and my only) so I had nothing to compare it with. I just did it. Everyone tried to tell me how hard it must be, but since I never experienced just one I didn't know. And I still don't think it's any harder than anyone else with 2 children close in age. They share the same toys, books, homework, clothes, etc.... Of course they do have things that are "theirs" but for the most part everything is interchangable. That does make shopping for them somewhat easier. Of course, more expensive since most things are X 2.

Oh and your Disney World days are not over. We are taking our 3rd trip this fall and our 1st to Disneyland this spring.

regards

 

[5DizFans]

Twins are wonderful! My twin girls are now 11 and are a blessing. I also have a son who is 9.
I was on bedrest for 4 weeks before they were born and they came 4 weeks early. We were lucky that the girls only stayed in the hospital 4 nights.
My husband and I were each responsible for one child each night. We got up with the girl that was assigned to us for the night. How could we tell the difference? I don't know - but we just did. It helped make our nights not too long. We were also big believers in having them on a schedule. It made our life easier and somewhat predictable.

As far as Disney is concerned, we did wait until our youngest was 6 years old before we took them on their first Disney trip. We didn't want to carry sweaty bodies and wanted them to be able walk through the parks.

Good luck! You are truely blessed!

 

[disny_luvr]

Congratulations! You've already received some great advice from many of the other posters, so I don't have much to add. Like Order66, my twins were my first also so I had nothing to compare it to. I was very nervous and had no idea what to expect, so I prepared myself to expect the worst (i.e. sleepless nights, constant crying, etc.) When I think back to it now (my boys are two) I don't remember it being bad at all.

I nursed my babies exclusively for a few weeks, but it was exhausting. I felt like a cow - no sooner did I finish nursing one, it was time to nurse the other one. After a few weeks of that I started pumping, and my DH would bottle-feed one and I'd nurse the other one and then we'd switch for the next feeding (the bottle-feed baby would be nursed and the nursed baby would be bottle-feed). This worked great in the evening/during the night when DH was home, but not so much during the day when I was by myself. By myself, I would nurse one and bottle-feed one that was propped up in a Boppy at the same time - it got a little hairy at times, but, hey, it worked!

As far as sleep, I didn't get much at first, but within about 3 1/2 months they were sleeping for about six hour stretches at night. I was ecstatic! If you can, I'd recommend napping when they nap. I know you mentioned you have an older child so that may not always work.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. I had trouble with this in the very beginning, but I found out that many people wanted to help and were happy when I asked them.

I also recommend getting connected to a local MoMs group. I love my group - it is a great support for me and my family!

Your Disney days, or any vacations for that matter, are not over. I used to worry about this too. Heck, I thought I wouldn't be going anywhere (like the mall). But you will. The first couple of times we went away were a lot of work, but you'll eventually figure out a system and it won't be bad.

I love being a Mommy to twins - I can't imagine it any other way. My DH and I are thinking about having a third and I must admit, if I only have one, I'll be a little disappointed.

I hope you have a great pregnancy and two healthy babies! Enjoy every moment! It goes by so fast.

 

[fanoftigers]

Congrats!! I have twin (frat) boys that are my 3rd and 4th children. My daughters are 3.5 and 7.5. So neat to hear from so many families with twins.

About the Disney thing, we are going this summer! We may be crazy but we couldn't pass up the deals and the ability to go while the boys are free to fly, etc.

I drive a pathfinder. Not practical for long raod trips, but we haven't been on too many anyway since the boys came. We just don't have the money to upgrade right now, and I don't really want to drive a bigger car. Every few weeks someone at the kids schools or chuch will come over to see how I get everyone to fit in the car.

I will tell you that one of my favorite things in the world is TWO babies smiliing at me