overweight people who constantly eat out

[TonyMouse]

I agree that you can't force someone to do or to not to do something. We can try and help being supportive but it's up to the person to really want to do something about it. Sometimes it takes completely bottoming out for someone to realise they really need help. My sister-in-law is bordering on hoarding and its been a family issue for many years now. I don't know what it's going to take for her to get help or even if that will be possible anyway

 

[tigercat]

OP I am sure you are right about your friend but I hope everyone doesn't think that if you are over weight you are eating out every night. If we eat out it is once a week but not always. I cook from scratch, do a lot of baking of food and very rarely is anything fried. If I am going to eat a baked item I have to cook it so that means I very rarely eat anything baked. The problem I have is that I have fibromyalgia and arthritis and my legs hurt so walking is hard.
tigercat

 

[mommanne]

Unfortunately 'nutritionists' nowadays get their conferences sponsored by McDonalds and Coke (I kid you not). And these sponsors get to hand out pamphlets with all sorts of helpful info such as Frito Lay helping out by telling them if they have clients with gluten allergies that they can use crushed Fritos instead of breadcrumbs. I know one big annual conference no longer allows photos in the exhibition hall because they don't want the general public to learn how all these processed food manufacturers are misleading nutritionists.

I would have a hard time believing that an actual nutritionist would be mislead with or without pictures, of processed foods.

 

[lizabu]

I know how you feel. My Dad doesn't eat out much but he eats a lot of junk at home. He knows he should eat better. His doctor tells him to eat better. He is overweight and has been told he is at risk for diabetes and has had a couple minor heart attacks. Last summer his legs were so swollen he was told the skin was going to split from all the water he was retaining and he had to take special pills and wear these $200 socks to help get the swelling down. It's really heartbreaking to see someone you love basically killing themselves in front of you and you can do nothing to stop it.

 

[Kim&Chris]

I know how you feel. My Dad doesn't eat out much but he eats a lot of junk at home. He knows he should eat better. His doctor tells him to eat better. He is overweight and has been told he is at risk for diabetes and has had a couple minor heart attacks. Last summer his legs were so swollen he was told the skin was going to split from all the water he was retaining and he had to take special pills and wear these $200 socks to help get the swelling down. It's really heartbreaking to see someone you love basically killing themselves in front of you and you can do nothing to stop it.

Sounds exactly like my father. He has diabetes & requires several shots of insulin a day. His legs and feet swell like tree trunks, yet still eats lunch at Wendy's almost daily. For dinner, he will sit and eat processed peanut butter crackers. It's sad and frustrating, but there's not a thing anyone can do about it. He's been lectured by doctors and family members about making better choices, yet still maintains these horrible eating habits.

My mother suffered a heart attack last year, and both arteries in her legs were nearly completely blocked. Her doctor told her he wasn't sure he'd be able to unblock the arteries, and warned that she may lose her leg. He told her that she HAD TO give up her two-pack-a-day smoking habit. Thanks to his incredible skills, he was able to open the arteries and save her legs. And within a month, she was back to smoking about two packs a day.

Bottom line is that people will do what they want to do, regardless of how bad it is for them. Sad.

 

[java]

I've changed the way I eat and have dropped 40 lbs so far. Eating out is the worst. So hard to find good for you items. I like to check nutritional charts for menus before I go someplace. It's not as straightforward as just get a salad. Those can be very bad. And ordering fish, be careful how they cook it and what is on it.
I went out tonight and had Plain grilled salmon with grilled veggies. It was good and reasonably good for me too. That is my fall back when I am someplace I have not checked out first. But in that example at cheesecake factory they have 3 versions of grilled salmon, only 1 is one I eat. Others are loaded with extra sugar and calories (Asian dressings are the ones to avoid for me)

But I will add that you can't make someone do it. They have to want it. It's not easy and if I wasn't into it, I wouldn't be doing it. I start the 30 day ab challenge tomorrow.

 

[carrie1626]

Someone very close to me is very overweight and has a slew of health issues which could all be improved with weight loss. Unfortunately this person still eats out daily, and not good choices either. I guess it is like an addiction but it makes me so sad and is so hard to watch, when i think of all the sodium bad fats and calories with most of these meals, the very things this person does not need. And it seems like the doctors dont address the elephant in the room either, they just keep putting this person on more and more meds and dont even talk about diet. Very upsetting

Just curious if you've been in the exam room or hospital and witnessed the elephant in the room not being addressed? Food addiction is very hard to treat because everyone EATS.

Nobody needs Tobacco, Alcohol, Drugs.

I agree with you that it's hard to watch someone make bad choices over and over and over.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Just curious if you've been in the exam room or hospital and witnessed the elephant in the room not being addressed? Food addiction is very hard to treat because everyone EATS.

Nobody needs Tobacco, Alcohol, Drugs.

I agree with you that it's hard to watch someone make bad choices over and over and over.

Wondering too. But maybe, because they are close friends, they talk about the issues that were discussed at her doctor appointments?? Just a thought.

 

[brockash]

Someone very close to me is very overweight and has a slew of health issues which could all be improved with weight loss. Unfortunately this person still eats out daily, and not good choices either. I guess it is like an addiction but it makes me so sad and is so hard to watch, when i think of all the sodium bad fats and calories with most of these meals, the very things this person does not need. And it seems like the doctors dont address the elephant in the room either, they just keep putting this person on more and more meds and dont even talk about diet. Very upsetting

I highly doubt that this person's Dr. isn't addressing the health/weight issue, however there's only so much they can do. In my opinion, it probably is an addiction and the Dr. can't make his/her patient make healthy choices in life.

 

[ez]

The "someone very close to me" is a family member. This person has very high blood pressure, a fib, cannot walk due to bad knee and as others have mentioned in this post the tremendous leg swelling. Lots of other stuff too. I am never judgmental to this persons face I am always supportive. But when they tell me everyday about the great deal they got at such and such restaurant and what they ate (fried appetizers etc), I am always so sad when they leave and shaking my head. I guess its possible that the person is not being forthcoming with me in regard to what the doctors say, but I know I specifically asked if the doctors ever mentioned watching sodium intake and they said no. I understand that a person has to want to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, but when you eat in a restaurant, no matter how healthy you think it sounds...you usually dont know what you are getting. This is a person that should absolutely be on the DASH diet or something similar.

 

[Christine]

The "someone very close to me" is a family member. This person has very high blood pressure, a fib, cannot walk due to bad knee and as others have mentioned in this post the tremendous leg swelling. Lots of other stuff too. I am never judgmental to this persons face I am always supportive. But when they tell me everyday about the great deal they got at such and such restaurant and what they ate (fried appetizers etc), I am always so sad when they leave and shaking my head. I guess its possible that the person is not being forthcoming with me in regard to what the doctors say, but I know I specifically asked if the doctors ever mentioned watching sodium intake and they said no. I understand that a person has to want to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, but when you eat in a restaurant, no matter how healthy you think it sounds...you usually dont know what you are getting. This is a person that should absolutely be on the DASH diet or something similar.

ez--I know someone like this also, although she is young enough that the health issues haven't hit. This person eats out 2 meals a day, with their family. They know it's bad for them; however, due to their schedules and lack of interest anymore in cooking, they just do it for pure convenience sake. The problem is, the woman actually really does want to lose weight; however, her family isn't overly supportive of really scaling back on the delicious food these places have to offer. Oh, and they aren't hitting up McDonald's or fast food places much at all. These are either big name ($$$) restaurants or the high quality counter service type places like Panera, Noodles, etc. They also have the income to do it. I'd be broke!

Now we all know that you can try very hard and get a decent meal in a restaurant but you cannot keep that up day in and day out. Also, even the healthier meals, with the exception of salads, have more sodium in them than what you'd get with a simple meal at home. I think it's perfectly fine to incorporate restaurants once or even twice a week when you are eating healthily, but it doesn't work for the long haul but with those who are determined enough to stick to ONE type of meal. We know that reality is that most people do not.

Physicians are very hit or miss when it comes to the subject of weight. I've had a GP point it out to me when I was 15 lbs overweight (150 instead of 135 and I'm 5'8"), but I've also had another doctor tell me that he no longer brings it up with patients because, in the case of females, they become very self-conscious and often won't return for physicals are monitoring and he doesn't want that to happen.

 

[ellone]

Also, even the healthier meals, with the exception of salads, have more sodium in them than what you'd get with a simple meal at home.

The problem with salads is that the dressings are no good for you. Low fat and/or calorie have questionable ingredients to get there. At home I just put salt, pepper, balsamic vinegar and hemp oil on mine.

Then there's the problem of meat on the salads. The chicken they use is plumped up with a saline solution in the processing plant and then they add more salt and spices even when they just grill it up.

 

[ellone]

Doctors do need patients, If the chewed everyone out about their weight -they may not have any.

Exactly. A doctor told my mother that if all his patients were like her then he'd be out of business (she's 61 and is on no prescription medication).

She is worried about her blood sugar creeping up. When she asked the doctor about any diet changes he responded that he'd just put her on medication when it was a problem. Not what she was looking for at all - she doesn't want it to be a problem and is willing to make diet changes. Problem is doctors don't know about real healthy eating (ie no processed foods). So instead we incorporated a tablespoon of chia seeds a couple times a day for her to help regulate her sugar levels and prevent spikes.

 

[dakcp2001]

The "someone very close to me" is a family member. This person has very high blood pressure, a fib, cannot walk due to bad knee and as others have mentioned in this post the tremendous leg swelling. Lots of other stuff too. I am never judgmental to this persons face I am always supportive. But when they tell me everyday about the great deal they got at such and such restaurant and what they ate (fried appetizers etc), I am always so sad when they leave and shaking my head. I guess its possible that the person is not being forthcoming with me in regard to what the doctors say, but I know I specifically asked if the doctors ever mentioned watching sodium intake and they said no. I understand that a person has to want to lose weight and make lifestyle changes, but when you eat in a restaurant, no matter how healthy you think it sounds...you usually dont know what you are getting. This is a person that should absolutely be on the DASH diet or something similar.

Even if you are not judgemental " to their face" I'm sure they can feel it. I can feel it over the internet from what you've said. Shaming someone doesn't help at all. I've worked in healthcare long enough to know that you can never make someone else change. Some people need a rock bottom moment, some need a health scare that makes death feel real, and some will never change. Judgement, tsk tsking, and other humiliation and guilt tactics only make the problem worse. Just be there and love them as they are.

 

[ez]

Even if you are not judgemental " to their face" I'm sure they can feel it. I can feel it over the internet from what you've said. Shaming someone doesn't help at all. I've worked in healthcare long enough to know that you can never make someone else change. Some people need a rock bottom moment, some need a health scare that makes death feel real, and some will never change. Judgement, tsk tsking, and other humiliation and guilt tactics only make the problem worse. Just be there and love them as they are.

That's so weird to me that you would say that. I am nothing but loving to this person. Think about it, if this person felt like i was being judgmental, why would they constantly be going on and on to me about the latest great meal they had in a restaurant. Obviously I have done nothing to make them uncomfortable in doing so.....

 

[Christine]

Even if you are not judgemental " to their face" I'm sure they can feel it. I can feel it over the internet from what you've said. Shaming someone doesn't help at all. I've worked in healthcare long enough to know that you can never make someone else change. Some people need a rock bottom moment, some need a health scare that makes death feel real, and some will never change. Judgement, tsk tsking, and other humiliation and guilt tactics only make the problem worse. Just be there and love them as they are.

Of course you can feel it over the internet--she was venting here and let her thoughts shine through clearly. Nothing wrong with that--as long as she is compassionate to her family member. That doesn't mean she can't be bothered by the family member's choices and talk about it elsewhere.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Out of curiosity, what do you eat?

Seems it would be fair game for discussion.

As for your family member, it could be that they just love food and are not interested in change regardless of their health difficulties.

I have a family member like this. It is their life, nothing you can do.
She was on pills for blood sugar. They were not working. Did this for years and now has to test her blood daily. Can't recall if she is having to take insulin. She is Type II. Only way to not resolve that is to eat better. (Not a guarantee, I don't think). That didn't happen.

 

[bdcp]

My DH was diagnosed with Type II diabetes a year ago. He attended the classes offered through the healthcare system here. It never failed that someone who had a lot to lose would show up to class eating fast food. He was the only one in the class to lose weight. He lost 35 pounds in about 4 months and has kept it off. He's no longer considered diabetic.

BTW, you don't have to eat out a lot to be overweight. It's about a lot of choices and changes that can be hard, but I would think when faced with a medical issue, the changes would come easier like they did for my DH.

Also I'm so tired of every opinion being called "judgmental". How about it just being a human reaction?

 

[NewRVLady]

That's so weird to me that you would say that. I am nothing but loving to this person. Think about it, if this person felt like i was being judgmental, why would they constantly be going on and on to me about the latest great meal they had in a restaurant. Obviously I have done nothing to make them uncomfortable in doing so.....

OP I know where you are coming from
DH comes from an overweight family-fried chicken and a homemade cake was an ongoing meal at their home
No need to go out to eat-they had "fast food" at home

After our first was born he went on a diet and lost 50 #
He recently lost another 10# and his elderly very overweight Mom constantly frets that he is too skinny-she has lost sight on what normal weight is.

Point is-nobody can force another to lose weight-they have to want it

 

[ez]

Out of curiosity, what do you eat?

Seems it would be fair game for discussion.

I eat very healthy and we rarely go out to dinner, maybe once a month. I go for walks everyday, do some of a few workout dvds that I have. I am in my 50's and my BMI is 21. I feel like I live a healthy lifestyle and really enjoy food and dont feel deprived at all.