Out of State Wedding Can't afford, what do I say?

[Gretel]

Can't afford an out of state wedding, what do I tell them. It's to much $$ to fly 5 people and not enough time off to drive, I feel bad because all the other aunts/uncles/cousins will be there. Just need some input please

 

[Art 1]

Tell them that you cannot afford to go. Can you afford for yourself to go? If so go alone.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I would be honest.

 

[anniemae]

I would just send the reply card back and check off the "can't attend" option. If you are asked, then I would tell them the reason.

As a pp suggested, can you go alone?

 

[MIGrandma]

If it were me I would just tell them we couldn't afford the expenses right now, and I would either mail a card/gift or send it with a relative that was going.

People have to understand with an out of state wedding that some may not be able to attend for whatever reasons. If they don't, it's their problem not yours.

 

[spacemountainmom]

We had that happen last year with DH's niece. It would have cost us a considerable amount to fly and we did not have the time to drive. DH called his sister and explained the situation. She was sorry we could not come, but understood the situation.

 

[mjkacmom]

DH went alone to his niece's wedding. Flights were $500. He shared a rental car with his sisters (they both live in different states, so they coordinated flights), and shared a hotel room with them. They had so much fun together (and the wedding was in the middle of nowhere).

 

[Gretel]

Yeah the flight alone would be $500 a person

 

[Kimberle]

I would just respond, thank you for thinking of us, unfortunately, we are unable to attend. They should understand that most people from far away may not be able to attend due to finances, time, or both. You shouldn't have to "spell it out".

 

[barkley]

we've dealt w/ this even w/in-state weddings. w/some it was too expensive to fly but to drive and arrive in time entailed time off from work/kid's school (plus incurring lodging/meals), w/one out of state even if just one of us went it was the flight, renting a car, lodging, meals while not at the wedding.... that just made it way too expensive. we just check the 'will be unable to attend' on the rsvp. I don't think an explanation is necessary (I would never have thought to question declines at our wedding).

 

[SirDuff]

I would just respond, thank you for thinking of us, unfortunately, we are unable to attend. They should understand that most people from far away may not be able to attend due to finances, time, or both. You shouldn't have to "spell it out".

And, the minute that you do, people feel that they can challenge you on them. I agree with just leaving it "We are unable to attend".

 

[mousehockey37]

Can't afford an out of state wedding, what do I tell them. It's to much $$ to fly 5 people and not enough time off to drive, I feel bad because all the other aunts/uncles/cousins will be there. Just need some input please

You tell them this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^. If you can say it here, you can tell it to them.

 

[ronandannette]

I agree with those that say if you can afford one flight (and the related expenses), the person in the family closest to the bride/groom should go to represent. If that is not possible then a phone call to explain (simply - you don't need to defend your decision) and a nice gift will have to suffice. Life is like that sometimes.

 

[Gretel]

I guess I just feel bad since it is my nephew, thanks for the responses everyone!

 

[Kbee]

I wouldn't tell them any reason, just send your regrets. If you are pressured for an answer, just be honest. If people can't understand the expense involved for guests then there isn't anything you can do.

 

[SLP958]

A simple, we will not be able to attend.
No explanation required.
You can always send a nice gift.

 

[NewRVLady]

I agree- with above poster-I completely didn't expect our siblings and spouses to attend DS wedding 1500 miles away..... When 3 couples DID come I was thrilled

 

[goofyernmost]

Or you can just tell them that you just cannot make it. The out of state invitations are more for gifts then attendance anyway. They all know that some cannot make the trip. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.

 

[okeydokey]

Or you can just tell them that you just cannot make it. The out of state invitations are more for gifts then attendance anyway. They all know that some cannot make the trip. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal.

We live out of state from nieces and nephews and I expect to be invited to their weddings because we are close and they want us there, not so that we will send regrets and a nice gift.

However, if we couldn't go, I am sure they would understand. I would really do what I could to attend though even if it meant traveling alone and staying with a family member.

 

[goofyernmost]

We live out of state from nieces and nephews and I expect to be invited to their weddings because we are close and they want us there, not so that we will send regrets and a nice gift.

However, if we couldn't go, I am sure they would understand. I would really do what I could to attend though even if it meant traveling alone and staying with a family member.

My point was that, of course, they would like you to be there. However, if they were presented with the concept that you couldn't go AND you couldn't send a wedding gift, human nature would usually tend to lean in the gift side of the equation to be upset about. Besides, I am speaking in general terms not specifically of your family whom I don't even know.