Other kids playing at your house

[goofinoff]

I was just wondering if you expect your kid's friends to help pick up toys and stuff when they are done playing at your house. One of my daughter's friends is so good about it....always helping put away stuff they took out but I've had some other kids over who make a mess and then leave. Whenever I pick up my kids from a friends house or even their cousin's houses I always ask if they helped pick up. I do this at my sister-in-laws but when her kids are at my house they don't help pick up. Kind of drives me nuts. I usually tell them all that it's time to pick up.

Is it me or does it just seem like the polite thing to do? What are your thoughts?

 

[luvmy3]

Yes I do expect kids who are here to pick up after themselves. I also have no problem telling them to if they don't think they have to

 

[goofinoff]

I'm surprised at other parents that pick up their kids at our house who don't ask or tell their kids to help clean up.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm surprised at other parents that pick up their kids at our house who don't ask or tell their kids to help clean up.

That drives me crazy too, but I also don't have a problem saying something to the kids right in front of those parents either

 

[mjkacmom]

I've had tons of kids over, and I've never had one volunteer to help clean up. If I want them to clean up, I will tell them to clean up. Many times, I really didn't care, since my kids would continue to play after their friends had left. Sometimes things were left out until bedtime. No biggie.

 

[Hrhpd]

I was just wondering if you expect your kid's friends to help pick up toys and stuff when they are done playing at your house. One of my daughter's friends is so good about it....always helping put away stuff they took out but I've had some other kids over who make a mess and then leave. Whenever I pick up my kids from a friends house or even their cousin's houses I always ask if they helped pick up. I do this at my sister-in-laws but when her kids are at my house they don't help pick up. Kind of drives me nuts. I usually tell them all that it's time to pick up.

Is it me or does it just seem like the polite thing to do? What are your thoughts?

No.

While appreciated if they do, I never expect guests, whether children or adults to clean up after themselves.

Just like I would never expect my adult dinner guests to do my dishes, I would not expect children to clean up after themselves.

Again, while I appreciate it when guests do help out, it is never expected.

 

[Janepod]

I expect them to offer, but not to actually do it.

And some kids, I just want them to leave - I'd rather clean up after them if it means getting them out of my house 5 minutes sooner.

 

[Poohforyou]

My dd is 12 now but I tell her she either needs to get her friend's to help her clean up or she'll be doing it herself. If they were just in her room & it's a mess I just close the door.

 

[shortbun]

Yes I do expect kids who are here to pick up after themselves. I also have no problem telling them to if they don't think they have to

yep, I've been known to stand there and tell each child exactly what to do if they're having trouble figuring it out. A few of those events and all children know they HAVE to pick up at my house. I'm having a little trouble now with the teen aged boys. They come in, make a mess and disappear before I know they're gone. Last week, I called them and told them to come back and clean up their mess. They all entered apologizing and cleaned up. Last night, they left a mess again...they did not answer their phones...smart boys. Snaks will no longer be served. I sent a group text. Neil Young's song, "A Man Needs a Maid" keeps running through my mind. "A ma-aa-aa-aid, a man needs a maid."

 

[luvmy3]

No.

While appreciated if they do, I never expect guests, whether children or adults to clean up after themselves.

Just like I would never expect my adult dinner guests to do my dishes, I would not expect children to clean up after themselves.

Again, while I appreciate it when guests do help out, it is never expected.

I don't expect my kid's friends to do dishes after their meal/snack, just as I don't expect my adult guests to either. However if any adult guest dumped an entire bin of Legos on my living room floor, I'd definitely expect them to pick it up before they left

 

[Acklander]

I don't expect kids to remember anything when theyre living in the moment - that's how kids are. When people are over my house I divide them into 2 categories - either they are "company" where I don't expect them to do anything since I'm the host. My job is to make sure they're as comfortable as possible. On the other side is family/close friends. They can help themselves to stuff in the fridge, kick their shoes off, crash on the couch - whatever. Those kids I will call out when it's time to pick up their toys.

 

[goofinoff]

I expect them to offer, but not to actually do it.

And some kids, I just want them to leave - I'd rather clean up after them if it means getting them out of my house 5 minutes sooner.

Haha! I know what you mean about getting them out of the house! I've actually told my oldest that one particular friend is no longer welcome. She has no manners and I caught her going through my makeup drawer in MY bathroom! There was no reason for her to be in there.

 

[mjkacmom]

yep, I've been known to stand there and tell each child exactly what to do if they're having trouble figuring it out. A few of those events and all children know they HAVE to pick up at my house. I'm having a little trouble now with the teen aged boys. They come in, make a mess and disappear before I know they're gone. Last week, I called them and told them to come back and clean up their mess. They all entered apologizing and cleaned up. Last night, they left a mess again...they did not answer their phones...smart boys. Snaks will no longer be served. I sent a group text. Neil Young's song, "A Man Needs a Maid" keeps running through my mind. "A ma-aa-aa-aid, a man needs a maid."

If my teens' friends leave a mess, then my teens are responsible for cleaning up. They have the option of telling their friends to help before they leave, or get stuck doing it on their own. It's not up to me - I didn't invite them over.

 

[kirstenb1]

I've had tons of kids over, and I've never had one volunteer to help clean up. If I want them to clean up, I will tell them to clean up. Many times, I really didn't care, since my kids would continue to play after their friends had left. Sometimes things were left out until bedtime. No biggie.

I know right?

 

[kerriemiller]

I will usually check on the size of the mess periodically throughout the playdate and if its getting to the point that they arent playing with some things anymore I will have them put it away.

I have a friend she has 3 small kids and they absolutely TRASH my house, literally empty every puzzle and scatter it across the room, legos every where, its horrible. So I stop those kids in the act and tell them they cannt do that at my house.

I think is perfectly exceptable to let kids know what you expect of them at your house. I request pleas and thank you but I also praise good manners too. I'll tell them something like "good manners I love good manners thank you" But we pretty much have the same couple kids over all the time so at this point they know the rules

 

[aladams2]

My dd is 12 now but I tell her she either needs to get her friend's to help her clean up or she'll be doing it herself. If they were just in her room & it's a mess I just close the door.

THis is what I do. They all need to help or my kids will have to do it on their own. They know to ask their friends to help pick up. I also make sure they do it at their friends' houses too.

 

[disykat]

I guess cleaning up has always been my expectation, but I don't think I've expected the other parent to be the one exforce it. I always just jump in and say "time to clean up" not bothering to wait and see if the parent that is picking up says it or not.

I can only think of one family my kids played with that might have tried to leave without participating in the cleanup stage. I was just extra careful to enforce the house rules when they came over because I knew their parent wouldn't think of it. Those playdates always required some extra supervision because those kids weren't used to having rules. Everyone else, cleanup was the norm. The only time we might have skipped it was if someone was in a big hurry.

 

[bellebud]

I will usually check on the size of the mess periodically throughout the playdate and if its getting to the point that they arent playing with some things anymore I will have them put it away.

I have a friend she has 3 small kids and they absolutely TRASH my house, literally empty every puzzle and scatter it across the room, legos every where, its horrible. So I stop those kids in the act and tell them they cannt do that at my house.

I think is perfectly exceptable to let kids know what you expect of them at your house. I request pleas and thank you but I also praise good manners too. I'll tell them something like "good manners I love good manners thank you" But we pretty much have the same couple kids over all the time so at this point they know the rules

When my kids were smaller and we had other kids over to play, I'd have those types items somewhere that everyone couldn't get to them. I'd offer them if they were bored of playing w/ other things only, or if someone asked for them. Then only 1 thing at a time (legos, OR a puzzle, etc).

 

[badblackpug]

I guess cleaning up has always been my expectation, but I don't think I've expected the other parent to be the one exforce it. I always just jump in and say "time to clean up" not bothering to wait and see if the parent that is picking up says it or not.

I can only think of one family my kids played with that might have tried to leave without participating in the cleanup stage. I was just extra careful to enforce the house rules when they came over because I knew their parent wouldn't think of it. Those playdates always required some extra supervision because those kids weren't used to having rules. Everyone else, cleanup was the norm. The only time we might have skipped it was if someone was in a big hurry.

This is what I do with the little kids. About 15 minutes before it is time for someone to go home I just say, "I's time to clean up, Suzy's mommy will be here soon." With the older kids it's their problem. Either they ask their friends to help pick up, or they do it themselves.

 

[RhondaL]

I tell my kids if they want to be invited back over, then they eat what is offered even if they don't like it, use their please and thank yous and clean up their messes.