OT: Would you leave your kids for 10 days?

[wrldpossibility]

Help, DIS mommies and daddies! I have the opportunity to go this July to visit my sister who lives in Dublin. We're close, and she's lived there a few years now, and I've been wanting to go visit her. I live on the West Coast, so it's a LONG journey to get there, then I figured once I'm there, I want to see as much of the country as I can, so it doesn't make sense to fly back after just a few days. So I'm tenatively planning on a 10 day trip. I'll fly to London, tour the city a day or so, then fly to Dublin. We'll tour Ireland for about 5 days, then fly on a cheap European shuttle to either the Netherlands or Austria for a day or so, then home.

Sounds great to me, but I'll be away from my 7, 5, and 2 yo. I've never been gone that long. My DH will be here with them, but he needs to work, so my parents will be helping (they live locally and are close to the kids). I'm just concerned leaving for that long. I considered making it a whole family trip, but of course that makes the cost astronomical. (We'd be paying so much more for flights, food, and of course I would no longer be crashing at my sis's tiny apartment.) We may try that in a few years when the kids are a bit older and better suited to tour Europe.

DH supports me going. I know it's a great chance (I haven't been to London in many years, and never to Ireland), but I know I'll worry and miss the kids. Would you go? Be honest! (I know you DISers will!)

 

[katiesmom2]

I completely understand how you feel. I've never been away from my 4 and 2 year olds for longer than one night and I missed them a lot.

DH has a conference to go to in Vegas in June, right before his sister's wedding in CA, so we are conceivably going to be gone for 7 days. My parents will watch the kids, but I am not thrilled at the idea of leaving them for so long.

I think your trip sounds like a great opportunity. You should force yourself to do it. You can leave the kids little notes and gifts to make them and you feel better and you can call them every day when you miss them. No doubt you will miss them a lot, but you will have great stories to share with them when you return.

I say go for it!

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Samantha/NC]

My hubby and I went to Vegas last year and we are going back in a couple of weeks. I miss the kids but it is a great time for me and hubby to have some time together.
Our kids (3) stay with my sister and her husband, they also have 3 kids!!

 

[dsnymomof4]

Ok, you asked for honesty. The truth is - I'm not really sure what I'd do. DH and I just took a short (4-say) trip to BC in December WITHOUT the kids for the 1st time. I have to tell you, I missed them terribly (still had a great time though). But my kids range from 5-13. I think it would have been even harder with younger kids. On the other hand, it would be a great opportunity for you to see your sister and tour another country. I know the ideal would be if they could come with you, but if that isn't an option, you have to just do what your heart tells you. If you do decide to go, I think the kids will be fine. DH and your parents will be there for them, so it's not like they'll be with strangers. Maybe you could have a trip to Disney planned for sometime after your trip, so the kids will have something to look forward to. That way they'll know that even though Mommy isn't taking them on a trip this time, pretty soon we'll all be going to Disney!

 

[karibritt01]

Go and have fun! Your kids will be fine with DH and his parents. Call them, promise them each a present, and plan something special with them for later. If money is an issue because of the expense of your trip, it doesn't have to be big like Disney. My kids love going tent camping at the lake. They swim and eat camp food all weekend. Sometimes we go with other families, which is tons of fun for everyone. You need to do this for you, as it is a wonderful opportunity. If it were a business trip, you wouldn't have such guilt feelings. You shouldn't now, either. My DH leaves often for business, and my kids do miss him. We try to do something special like drive to the beach for the day, or go to a movie - something to make it fun for them. Your DH and in-laws can do the same.

 

[Desnik]

I could never be away from them that long! I can't be away from DH that long either!!

Why isn't the whole family going? What a great experience that could be for all of you! And your sister can see her sisters kids!

DH and I are dying to go to Europe and plan to do so this year. We will bring our kids with us, that's just how we are. I would miss them all so much.

 

[JamesMom]

Sounds like a great opportunity and if extended family is willing to pitch in, I say Go for It! I would be heartbroken to leave my 2 year old, but I think the opportunity is too wonderful, and it is only for 10 days/9 nights, right?!

Have a GREAT trip!

 

[wrldpossibility]

I could never be away from them that long! I can't be away from DH that long either!!

Why isn't the whole family going? What a great experience that could be for all of you! And your sister can see her sisters kids!

DH and I are dying to go to Europe and plan to do so this year. We will bring our kids with us, that's just how we are. I would miss them all so much.

Our kids almost always come on trips we take, so we thought about this seriously. "Everyone goes" is usually our mindset, too. They are seasoned travelers despite their young ages (even the 2 yo has been on about 6 airplane trips, I think). And yes, I think Europe would be a great opportunity for them. But we can only afford to go all together once, so we have planned to go as a family in 2 years, when the 2 yo is 4. We decided on that time because that will be the last year my sis is in Europe, so we could see her and tour. Maybe rent a house and stay for a longer period of time. I think the kids will get more out of such an educational trip when they're 9, 7, and 4.

We really can't afford to all go this summer. One person is not too bad, though, especially since my sister and I will be "slumming it". When I take the kids, I will want better accommodations, etc.

Keep the opinions coming!

So the other choice is for my to skip this solo trip, and wait to go in 2 years.

 

[Grendalynn]

I say Go! I would be hesitant at being 10 days away, but Its up to you to decide what length of time to go for, but I say GO! Its a chance for you to get some QT with your sister and if you wait to afford for everyone to be able to go and DH to get the time off, you'll never do it. You are only young once! Go, Have a blast and take lots of pictures!

DH and I are contemplating a vacation by ourselves this fall. It will be our ten year anniversary in September and we have not had a vacation alone since DS (almost)8 was born.... We are considering a week cruise w/o the Boys!

 

[FormrCastMbr]

I say go...of course you will miss everyone but you will know in your heart that the kids are with people that love them...what a bonding time it will be!

I think it would be silly to take a 2 year old to Europe...especially when you are planning another trip in a couple of years...the kids will remember some of it then...

HTH...have fun!

 

[jodifla]

Life is short. Go now. Who knows what might happen in two years.

Since DH is totally willing, I think this is a no-brainer.

I leave almost yearly for about five nights for an all girls' adventure. It's good for DH and DS to have that total bonding time together.

 

[blessedby3]

It really is a personal choice. For me I could not do it. I have never been away from my kids for more than a day or two. I dont like them being away from DH and I. My oldest DD16 took her first trip away from us this past summer for a week on a trip with her church choir to FL. It killed me to let her go. I know I have to be better about it, and I am getting better with her as she is older. To leave my children when they are still are small- I couldnt do it. My sister and her family were missionaries to Africa a few years ago and my Mom went over to see them, but since we couldnt afford for our whole family to go I stayed here. I knew I couldnt be happy with me there and the rest of the family here. That is just me, though. You may be fine to leave yours and I know they would be in good hands. I have lots of friends who vacation without their kids, but its just not for me.

 

[kissy]

I agree! Go, have a wonderful time bonding with your sister again and seeing the sights, enjoying the quiet! Your kids will get to bond with DH and you'll get a mini break! Have fun!

 

[hollyb]

No on I could never leave them for that long just for a vacation. Also being that far away GOd forbid anything happens to one of my kids I would never be able to forgive myself.

 

[letsgoagainsoon]

I don't think I could leave my 3yr old for ten days, but that doesn't mean YOU shouldn't go. They will be in good hands, and if you decide to go I don't think you should feel guilty!

 

[McKelly]

Personally, I don't think I could do it. That is a long time and long way away in case something would happen. I would be tempted though, what a great opportunity!

You said you were going in July, so your two older kids would be out of school. Maybe you could plan something extra special for them during the week you will be gone, like camp or art classes, so they might have something else on their minds other than your abscence.

 

[Abbracio]

IN the end, you really have to make the decision that is best for your family.

It sounds like a great opportunity.

We left our almost 3 year old at home last spring, when my husband and I traveled to China to bring home our daughter.
We were gone 2 weeks.

It was a longggggggggggggggg two weeks to be away from him.

It WAS the best decision to leave him at home because the longgg longgg flight, major jet lag (a 14 hour time difference) plus living in a hotel, different foods, you can't drink the water, etc.... would have been just too hard for him to handle.
He needs his routine and that is a big reason why we left him at home.

HOWEVER, I can tell you that that will be the last time I leave him at home.
It was hard on me and him. I did miss him a lot!

I had only left him once for a weekend and that's it.

He did have a hard time.
My parents stayed with him and he enjoyed that, but it wasn't the same as having Mommy and Daddy around.

That was a one time event for our family.
I wouldn't do it any different, I just won't be doing it again.

Good Luck with your decision.

Kathryn

 

[WDWfor5]

I couldn't do it - I would want to go and wish life was different but I couldn't go that far without the kids. This fall my DH and I went about 3 hours from home for a business conference and my kids (DD 7, DS 5 and DS 3) stayed home with my inlaws for 3 days / 3 nights. The morning after we left, my DS 3 was sent home from preschool with a rash and my FIL took him to the dr to find out he had Lyme's Disease and needed blood work. It was awful being that far away but I knew that I could hop in the car and come home if my baby needed me.

My DH had been trying to talk me into a cruise without kids and he knew that ended it - I couldn't have handled not being able to come home.

Now for you, your DH would be around so that helps alot but still it would be hard if something happened.

good luck with a tough decision - being a mom is never easy

 

[kstgelais4]

I could have written your post (except I have 4(!) Little ones). I leave in 23 days to go see my sister who Lives in London. I am taking my 21 month old, and will be gone for 10 days. I am excited but worried. My sister just had her first baby on Dec. 22nd, so I HAD to go (My very first Nephew, and no nieces!) I am finding it hard to get excited in front of DH and the other kids because they all kind of wanted to go. My dh has to stay home and work, and the 2 older kids really can't take 8 days out of school (to go during school vaca was going to be $800 (!) per person!). So anyway, I am just imagining my house literally falling apart with molton lava flowing from the debris when I get home, but If I actually think about it I know my DH will hold the fort together (and maybe my kids will actually match some days!).
Anyway, I think that sometimes as mothers we lose sight of the fact that we are our own person because we are so used to being the primary caregiver for so many others. So I say take your 10 days and have a wonderful time with your sister. They will miss you dearly, but will fare fine. Just make sure you plan a super awesome Disney trip you can all go on to make yourself feel less guilty about taking that time for yourself

 

[PollyannaMom]

Very tough!! I've always said WE wouldn't do that until DS was much older, but that was both adults gone and him with grandparents. If they are with your husband, and it's to see your sister, it's a tougher call. I think I would chicken out myself, because of the distance, but I wouldn't be horrified if one of my friends did it.