OT I need advice

[BridetobeDisney]

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[Poohbug]

There is nothing like a mother's instinct. Don't ignore it.

If you feel that bad about leaving your son with MIL-don't do it! No preschool-they go to school soon enough-you never get this time back.

Continue talking with DH about how you feel and what your MIL does-he knows some of what goes on but maybe not all of it. Hopefully you two can come to an agreement about what is acceptable and what is not.

My kids never see their grandma because she is a out of control alcoholic who does not want help. Sometimes not having someone in your life is better than having a toxic relationship.

 

[BridetobeDisney]

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[canuckandy]

Well done!
Keep it up and follow tour conscience, and I hope things are no harder than they have to be.
Good luck to all of you.

 

[mumto3girls]

FWIW I think you are doing the right thing. Just because someone is family doesn't mean that they can be trusted to be alone with your kids. There are plenty of people that I know, like and even respect to some degree but wouldn't allow my children to be alone with them.

Having your DH on your side here is key. You deal with your family on difficult issues and he deals with his. Things really do work better that way IMO.

 

[bellebud]

glad to read your update!* it sounds like you and dh are on the right track!* it's hard to become the *adult* all of a sudden in a parent/child relationship, but your dh seems to be stepping up to the plate.* (and it's especially difficult w/ a parent like your mil).* good luck w/ it going as smoothly as possible, and remember you're doing the right thing!*

 

[jessica52877]

I would not feel guilty at all about not leaving him. You only have one child and he cannot be replaced (no matter what, having the one doesn't really come into play). If you don't feel he is safe and there seems to be more then one incident then I wouldn't think twice about not leaving him ever.

I also would skip the preschool at that age, especially since you'll be home anyways. Kids are only little once, enjoy your time with them. They'll do just fine when the time comes.

 

[Lovin' Disney]

so, how did she take being told that DS couldn't go to the playground today?

 

[Beka]

ANYONE who is willing to bang a kid's head into a door, wall...whatever, and not think twice would NOT spend one second alone with my child. I'm so sorry your MIL is like that. Better to find this out now than to have something major happen. Trust your gut.

 

[BridetobeDisney]

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[NTDreams]

Good Luck. I can't believe someone would treat their own grandchild that way. I know that I would never allow my parents to be alone with my kids. My MIl though is a saint and I would happily hand my child over to her. granted she has dropped my nephew once. Ok he was in his car seat on the kitchen table and he decided to learn to flip at the time and moment. He had a little bruise but was OK. She literally had turned around for one minute to put a cup into the sink, it was accident. I would love to say that maybe your MIL doesn't realize what she is doing but from your story of dating and engagement....I think she knows. I hope your DH can sit down and speak to her firmly and let her know he is not happy with her behavior. Best of Luck.

 

[mom2meiko]

ok - i confess i read the first post but no others. sorry!

in my opinion - if you are concerned for your childs safety in the care of any adult at all - you need to be the mother and protect your child - regardless of how others may feel about it. supervised visits are fine but clearly she can't be trusted to be left alone w/ your lo so don't leave anything to chance.

good luck and remember your lo's well being is the biggest priority!

 

[msce2]

You are definitely on the right track, and it's a good thing it's relatively early in the relationship and not 10 years down the road. I'm so glad to hear that DH is behind you.

 

[miprender]

I just read all the posts and am glad that you and DH have banded together.