Opinions on this school lunch matter

[Mississippian]

That's seems so...encouraging a clique to me.

Isn't a clique just a group of friends? I think we hear too much about how awful cliques are. If some kids want to get together to have a pizza, I think it's just great, if the school allows it.

 

[naaah]

my school is private and it sucks because they don't allow anyone in so no kfc or maccas!

 

[va32h]

To clear things up for those who so kindly jumped on me instead of asking for clarification or thinking about what I said from a different perspective, I am a teacher. Maybe it is the area I teach in, but I wouldn't be comfortable with parents/family members being allowed in for lunch and things of the sort. While you might be a wonderful person, many parents aren't. Do you want a drug dealer sitting near your child? How about a felon? Unfortunately those are the parents of many kids these days. I am not paranoid. I deal day in and day out with this. I have seen collegues threatened by parents. I wouldn't want that parent hanging out with my child. That's all I was trying to say. Again, it may be that we are just in very different areas.

Honestly, I would be deeply suspicious of any school that forbade parents from entering the building. I would wonder what you were doing that you didn't want any parents to see.

Yes, somebody's parent might be a felon or a drug dealer. The person sitting next to me on the bus might be one too. The person in line in front of me at the grocery store might be one also.

And a teacher might be a felon, drug dealer, or worse, and just very clever at hiding it. Many states only investigate the criminal backgrounds of a prospective teacher within that state. So a teacher could commit felonies in one state and get a teaching job in another.

I am trusting that you are not a deranged lunatic when I send my child into your classroom. Why can't you extend that same trust to me, or any other parent?

 

[Mississippian]

I don't think it's right in an elementary school. It is not healthy. It exaggerates financial and social differences between children rather than fostering community. I've never heard of this so I don't think it's permitted or common here. I would be very unhappy if it were happening. I think that by allowing these things into the school, the school is tacitly endorsing them, and that is not the message I want for my kids. These companies already spend millions marketing to children. I don't want the school helping them!

What if it were a home cooked meal instead? You seem to have a problem with a parent bringing a treat to a child if every child doesn't have a treat. Well, what if the treat is brought in the lunch box?

 

[castleview]

Fair enough. I just think this new generation of kids is being brought up too soft. It's not about teaching them to be a victim, it's about teaching them that not everyone gets included all the time. Kinda OT but I even heard somewhere once that teachers are no longer allowed to use red pens when correcting papers because it make kids feel bad about themselves. I mean, come on!

I DO think that it would be nicer though that instead of brining the pizza to the clasroom, the mother got permission to take her daughter and her friends out to eat instead. That way they wouldn't have to be shoving it in the faces of the other kids.

There's no question that kids are being brought up too soft. I agree with you. Actually, bringing a kid a meal from a restaurant instead of having him eat the caf food or a PBJ sandwich from home might be considered too soft.

As far as the red pens go, I did read about that and it's very stupid. I have several friends and family members that are teachers and they would scoff at the very idea that this was self esteem damaging. My DH would probably intentionally use red pen tomorrow if I told him about this.

 

[Princess Stitch]

There's no question that kids are being brought up too soft. I agree with you. Actually, bringing a kid a meal from a restaurant instead of having him eat the caf food or a PBJ sandwich from home might be considered too soft.

Hm, I guess I never thought about that point! I suppose a treat once in a while is ok, but every week does seem a bit much. When I was in elementary we had "pizza days" that we paid for and the school would order pizza for us, but that was only once a month....

 

[disykat]

Exactly! I'm glad someone's finally saying it. For me, it's not about the message going to the kids that aren't having mom bring them lunch. It's about the message going to the kid that is.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

Wow - I'm really surprised that this is still going. Here are my thoughts on the various subjects at hand, for whatever they might be worth...

As for parents being in the school, as I've already stated I'm in our school all the time as a volunteer and I'm 100% for it. My DS attended a school for 1/2 a year that did not welcome parents, and I was very uncomfortable with that.

As for parents having lunch with their children, I see nothing wrong with that. Some parents can, some can't. Just as some parents have the time to volunteer, some don't; and some can chaperone field trips, and some can't.

As for parents bringing in a special lunch to share with their child, again I see nothing wrong with that, especially if it's a once in a while kind of thing. What one parent does for their own child is pretty much none of my business.

As for saying that letting a parent bring in a treat for their own child is wrong because some parents can't do that, well I think that's taking it too far. That would be like saying I can't put a treat in my child's lunchbox, or buy my kids LL Bean backpacks because some parents can't afford them, or that I shouldn't volunteer because other parents can't.

As for parents bringing in treats for just a few of their child's friends, I say that's not a good thing. I don't like the exclusionary nature of this. If there are treats for more than your own child, they should be available to all of the classmates. Just like if I send my own child a cupcake in his lunch, that's fine. But just like when I send in treats for his birthday there should be enough for the whole class, then likewise if I bring in a treat at lunch for anyone besides him it should be for everyone.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Honestly, I would be deeply suspicious of any school that forbade parents from entering the building. I would wonder what you were doing that you didn't want any parents to see.

Yes, somebody's parent might be a felon or a drug dealer. The person sitting next to me on the bus might be one too. The person in line in front of me at the grocery store might be one also.

And a teacher might be a felon, drug dealer, or worse, and just very clever at hiding it. Many states only investigate the criminal backgrounds of a prospective teacher within that state. So a teacher could commit felonies in one state and get a teaching job in another.

I am trusting that you are not a deranged lunatic when I send my child into your classroom. Why can't you extend that same trust to me, or any other parent?

Exactly.

The more people connected with our children the better off they are.

 

[auntpolly]

Isn't a clique just a group of friends? I think we hear too much about how awful cliques are. If some kids want to get together to have a pizza, I think it's just great, if the school allows it.

Groups of friends are people that like each other but have other friends as well. Cliques are groups who only like each other and shun everyone else.

Anyone who has ever attended High School knows the difference.

 

[MushyMushy]

Groups of friends are people that like each other but have other friends as well. Cliques are groups who only like each other and shun everyone else.

Anyone who has ever attended High School knows the difference.

And I don't mean to be sarcastic (okay, yes I do ), but usually it's those in cliques who always say, "But we're not a clique! We're just a group of friends who enjoys one another's company."

 

[auntpolly]

And I don't mean to be sarcastic (okay, yes I do ), but usually it's those in cliques who always say, "But we're not a clique! We're just a group of friends who enjoys one another's company."

Aaaaah yes! You are sooooo right!

 

[chobie]

Honestly, I would be deeply suspicious of any school that forbade parents from entering the building. I would wonder what you were doing that you didn't want any parents to see.

Yes, somebody's parent might be a felon or a drug dealer. The person sitting next to me on the bus might be one too. The person in line in front of me at the grocery store might be one also.

And a teacher might be a felon, drug dealer, or worse, and just very clever at hiding it. Many states only investigate the criminal backgrounds of a prospective teacher within that state. So a teacher could commit felonies in one state and get a teaching job in another.

I am trusting that you are not a deranged lunatic when I send my child into your classroom. Why can't you extend that same trust to me, or any other parent?

I agree. I have also found that parents who volunteer and spend time in the school are more likley to sympathize with teachers and advocate for them because they see first hand what it is like. I used to drop in for lunch with my kids when they were little.

 

[Buckalew11]

Exactly! I'm glad someone's finally saying it. For me, it's not about the message going to the kids that aren't having mom bring them lunch. It's about the message going to the kid that is.

And once again, I agree with disykat.

I think if you wanted to do for a special occasion (b-day) that is one thing. But when mommy shows up once a week with a bag from Mickey D's, I'm more worried about the kid getting the MCDonald's than the kid NOT getting it.
As far as bringing in a pizza for a select few, I will ALWAYS think that is wrong. ALWAYS. I am not a believer in cuddling kids or giving them their way, or thinking everything must be fair. These are 2 separate issues. I would not think much of any adult or parent who brought in food for a few select kids from a classroom. But who cares what I think of you? No one. But I'll still have my opinion that you are a rude parent/person for doing it.

As afr as who bring s in the "better" lunch? What do I care if I send PB&J and your kids gets something better? There is a big difference between a Walmart brand cupcake vs. Tastykake and a parent bringing in food for a select few. I cannot believe parents do not see a problem with doing that in a school setting. Oh well, like I said, it tells me more about the person bringing it in than the child they are bringing it for.
And feel free to go have lunch with your kids at school. I have no bones with that. My DH has done it but I never have.

 

[stargrazer]

I feel a bumper sticker coming on.

"My kids lunch is better than your kids lunch"

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I feel a bumper sticker coming on.

"My kids lunch is better than your kids lunch"

 

[nuke]

I've never stopped in for lunch with my son and he hasn't mentioned anyone else's parent doing that. So either it doesn't happen or he doesn't care. Either way is okay with me.

 

[stargrazer]

Maybe we just all need to settle down and break bread together.

Here, I brought some for everyone.