Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Completed Trip Reports' started by Captain_Oblivious, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. Captain_Oblivious

    Captain_Oblivious DIS Dad #257

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    TOP SECRET—EYES ONLY

    Welcome to the mission briefing concerning Operation Big Thunder, a secret mission that took place in July 2012 and only now is being declassified from the highest levels. If you are reading this, you have been cleared to receive sensitive information. Please do not allow these mission logs to fall into enemy hands, as it may compromise our agents in the field.

    Assignment: Our mission, should we choose to accept it, was to surprise our 3 children with a trip to Walt Disney World. This would have been a much easier task in the days when they couldn’t read road signs or maps, and hadn’t yet broken our parent-speak code of spelling out words we didn’t want them to hear in conversation. Without having the intelligence or resources to create a new code, this would clearly be a difficult assignment.

    [​IMG]

    Mission Personnel:
    1. Mark, aka “Dad”, aka “Captain Oblivious”. 5’11”, too many lbs., brown hair (thinning), blue eyes, age 37 (right, honey?). Occupation: civil engineer in the state of Delaware. Interests: Travel (esp. Disney parks), golf, Philadelphia sports, movies, reading. Special skills: TBD.

    2. Julie, aka “Mom”, aka “Mrs. Knowitall”, aka “Muddy Mae Suggins”. 5’8”, just the right number of lbs., brown hair (luxurious), brown eyes, age undisclosed. Occupation: teacher. Interests: Travel (esp. Disney parks), photography, arts & crafts, reading. Special skills: creator of Key Lime Pie of Awesomeness.

    3. Sarah, aka “Sarahbug”. 4’6”, brown hair, blue eyes, age 10. Occupation: 5th grade student. Interests: Travel (esp. Disney parks), Lego, Harry Potter, tennis, cute cuddly animals. Special skills: Arts & crafts, and pointing out differences between the Harry Potter movies and books.

    4. David, aka “Big Dave”. 4’2”, blond hair, blue eyes, age 8. Occupation: 3rd grade student. Interests: Travel (esp. Disney parks), baseball, Lego, Philadelphia Phillies baseball, baseball, sports, and baseball. Special skills: Photographic memory and making annoying noises in back seat of van.

    5. Scott, aka “Scotty”, aka “Baron Heinrich von Frankenschnitzel”. 3’11”, brown hair, brown eyes, age 6. Occupation: 1st grade student. Interests: Travel (esp. Disney parks), Philadelphia Eagles football, Star Wars, cute cuddly animals, The Avengers. Special skills: Performance artist.

    Cover Story:

    In summer 2011, our friends asked us if we would be interested in renting a beach house for a week with them at Pawleys Island, South Carolina (just south of Myrtle Beach) during the summer of 2012. We would split the rent among 3 families and spend a week hanging out at the beach with our buddies. We thought it sounded like fun, and agreed. More importantly, it gave us an excellent cover story for our mission. Julie and I have a long-term mission to get our kids to all 50 states, and the only state left on the East Coast that our kids hadn’t seen was Georgia. If we’re going to be in South Carolina, we reasoned, it wouldn’t be that much further to drive into Georgia. And if we’re going to be in Georgia, it’s not that much further to drive into Florida. And if we’re going to be in Florida…you can do the math.

    The plan was to tell the kids we were doing a “secret vacation”. Then we would drive down to Pawleys Island and—surprise! Their friends would be at the house too. We would pass this off as the reason for the secrecy. Then, when the week was over, we would simply turn south instead of north. Our goal was to get all the way to the Disney World gates without the purpose of the trip being detected.

    Supplies:

    Transport Vehicle: 2006 Honda Odyssey. Special non-standard modifications include ejector seats, surface-to-surface missiles, turbo boost, and espresso machine.

    Electronics: Amazon Kindle reading device, iPods, DVD player, Nintendo DS’s. All to be used for the purpose of distracting kids during long drives. TomTom GPS unit, with pre-loaded Homer Simpson and Darth Vader celebrity voices, used for navigation.

    Necessities: 3 bags of Pop chips, mini-Oreos, mini-Nutter Butters, 2 12-packs of Coke, map to nearest donut shop.

    Secondary Mission:

    2 years ago, I did a trip report that included a “find the movie/TV quote” game as well as a Beverly slogan contest that were both a lot of fun (your enjoyment may have varied). So, to add a little fun to this report, I will continue to award points* to anyone spotting movie quotes in the text of the report (please note that there probably won’t be nearly as many as the last time). Also, in order to protect sensitive information from falling into enemy hands, I will from time to time completely fabricate a detail of the trip report (I have occasionally been accused of doing this in the past). I will generally add one false statement per chapter. So, you can also play the “Spot the Lie” game and try to guess which part of this story is completely made up, and I’ll highlight it in red once it has been found. Some will be obvious, some not so much. The total Movie Quote points and Spot the Lie points will be added to produce a winner who will receive…well, probably nothing of value other than a cheesy title. But if you’re looking for something valuable, why are you reading this report in the first place?

    Thanks for reading along, and I hope you’ll continue along as we recount the mission.
     
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  3. Captain_Oblivious

    Captain_Oblivious DIS Dad #257

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  4. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

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    Am I first?

    Great intros! I can't believe how the boys have grown since I met them last year. :sad2:

    I know this will be a fun report...yours always are. I'll probably skip the games (too much going on with medical issues with family that I'm not always quick to read updates and I doubt you'll have much done before I leave in 46 days).
     
  5. scott2997

    scott2997 DIS Dad #543 Northern Ohio

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    I'm in....


    Tell me the "map to the nearest donut shop" was a lie!

    :rotfl2:
     
  6. 15isto2

    15isto2 DIS Veteran

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    Ohhhhh the fiorst page :cool1:
     
  7. mickeystoontown

    mickeystoontown DIS Veteran

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    Joining in! Great introduction!
     
  8. FreezinRafiki

    FreezinRafiki Cold enough for ya?

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    As opposed to sniffing the trip report?:confused3

    I'm not a mathematician. How many do we need to have a pattern?

    Didn't you read my last comment? I may have to unsubscribe if these shenanigans keep up.

    Could have used a "Double Secret" vacation as well.

    Q has set you up right. How does it handle at mach speeds? Mine pulls a little to the right. But that could also be my co-pilot digging her fingernails into my right arm in terror.

    I'd say the one in this chapter was your age, but then again, who really knows what that is. :confused3
     
  9. glennbo123

    glennbo123 DIS Veteran

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    I'm in! :yay:
     
  10. Poolrat

    Poolrat I am alive, sometimes I wonder too.

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    Present and why doesn't the app allow you to click through? :rolleyes:
     
  11. FreezinRafiki

    FreezinRafiki Cold enough for ya?

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    Lie.
     
  12. KatMark

    KatMark DIS Veteran

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    :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
     
  13. theduck619

    theduck619 DIS Dad #188

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    The Duck is onboard :thumbsup2
     
  14. GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

    GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes Dis Dad #469 . . . . "Nation Ford", SC

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    Yep…
    I am crawling up the walls board, so I’ll sign on to this one.




    Oh who am I kidding…
    I’ve been looking forward to his one since before y’all even left Delaware.

    party::
     
  15. Millie12591

    Millie12591 DIS Veteran

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    Yeaaah, another TR for CP!! :cheer2:

    Thank you for the heads up!! :thumbsup2

    I'll come back to read, need to hit my workout.
     
  16. Mrs. Knowitall

    Mrs. Knowitall Wife of Captain_Oblivious

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    Curse their above average intelligence!

    Curse our average intelligence!


    Yeah, first time back in the classroom in 10 years....my posts and insight might not be as many as before.....


    Remember that height....it will come back to haunt poor Heinrich later....


    DUDE! Where have you been hiding the espresso machine?!


    Good job remembering it this time, honey.



    Much as I love your little reindeer games, I think I'm going to exclude myself from this contest.....seeing as how I was there and know how it REALLY played out.


    She gotcha, hon!! (Good one, Kathy!)



    Yeah, apparently you're not the only non-mathematician of the bunch.....
     
  17. Heidi Lou

    Heidi Lou The Mouse's Biggest Fan!

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    CANNOT wait to read more...especially about the surprise! You are quite the story teller so far!
     
  18. marvali

    marvali DIS Veteran

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    I'm here! Too bad I won't be able to make an appearance in the actual report............... :sad1:
     
  19. RodBelding

    RodBelding <font color=red>DIS Dad #589<br><font color=royalb

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    Present. :thumbsup2
     
  20. twokids0204

    twokids0204 DIS Dad #561

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    Count me in... will get caught up later... Can't wait to hear about your trip Mark.
     
  21. GoHerd1028

    GoHerd1028 <font color=red>DDC 172<br><font color=green>"Inse

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    Im in!!! Eventhough I do not get to star in an episode like last summer!:thumbsup2
     

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