Okay - so this has been bugging me for *9* years!

[ntsammy5]

My opinion is - Who cares what other people think. Have a great trip

 

[Belle5]

I haven't read through the entire thread, but would like to share my perspective. My DH has horrible asthma. For the past 20 years he has to travel to three different hospitals per day to get special shots to control his asthma. Inhalers (and other meds) won't cut it for him. Actually, a new inhaler based on patients like him is in the works and were hoping it will control his asthma. Even when he is on business (very often) or on vacation he goes to the local hospitals for his treatments.

Three of my six sons are on three meds each to control their asthma.

When I hear someone coughing on a bus (or other confined area) my first thought is that if my own asthmatic children or DH catch that, it will turn to pneumonia for them. My DH comes down with pneumonia a couple times a year by catching a cold or flu. My five year old just had pneumonia from a little cough that didn't bother the rest of us that much when we caught it.

The very people that seem to stiffen when your daughter coughs, may be thinking of how a cold or flu would affect them or their loved one who is chronically ill. Do you realize that by just smiling and saying, "asthma", you could relieve someone else's worries and make their vacation much more magical.

 

[namara87]

My opinion is - Who cares what other people think. Have a great trip

Amen. I suffer from asthma and I also have a paralyzed vocal cord. The result is me constantly sounding like I have laryngitis, or have a nasty cold...at least this is what I have been told on a daily basis by people I encounter in public who are oh so curious/scared, as to if I have a contagious virus or not. LOL. So imagine an asthmatic cough, coupled with my scratchy/irritated voice. I've got some crazy looks and questions throughout my 22 years. This is definitely amplified when I'm in the parks, encountering so many guests everyday (I'm a CM). I've learned you have to let it go, there is no point in being paranoid, upset about what others may say/think. It took me a long time to accept that, but things are much easier because I have. Just have fun!

 

[RCharnay]

Although my problem is nothing as severe as asthma, I do have allergies and almost always have a tissue in my hand. When I am meeting someone new at work or in a restaurant, (especially now with the swine flu scare) they are always hesitant to get near me. Rather than be offended, I just laugh and say "Allergies" and people can relax. Why shouldn't they be worried otherwise?

I hope you and your family have a wonderful vacation!

 

[goofy4tink]

It's funny but some of you brought up points that I hadn't really thought of before. Thanks for that. Just goes to show that you can learn something at just about any time!!!
I know that I was disturbed by the reactions to my coughing attacks. And I do cough into my arm...little to no 'spit' is escaping to cover all around me. But, I can understand someone's dismay. THey may be susceptable to germs, may be just recovering from something..how do they know that I'm not covering them with germs! Excellent point.
I guess that anyone who may be subject to coughing attacks could arm themselves with a handkerchief. Just keep it in your pocket and when the coughing attack comes along, just cover the lower half of your face. But you can still explain that there are no germs being spread about!!

 

[J3nn78]

As a mom of an asthmatic cougher (his only symptom) I understand.

I can tell you that I would move away from your child too. I don't know why she is coughing. I wouldn't give any dirty looks though.

 

[eliza61]

I hate rude people, especially being rude to children, so me with the sick humor that I have would say "This week was such a terrible time for her to get the swine flu"
I'm sure I will get some flames for that, but the swine flu has not proven to be any worse than the regular flu which thousands of people die from every year! Illness is a a terrible thing and I do feel for those who have lost their lives and their families, but there is no reason for the ignorance that some exhibit.

Sort of like saying there's a bomb on the plane?

It may be me but nowadays people are far less tolerant of "twisted humor" as they were in the past.

Ignorant or not, saying some one has swine flu on a crowded bus is just as likely to start a panic with people (especially with small children) fighting to get off.

Now some one is really hurt because of a sick joke. Who's the ignorant one?

 

[snykymom]

And the others on the bus are supposed to know that your child isn't contagious exactly . . . how? If you saw a child getting sick on a bus, you would know that it's just that the kid had too much candy instead of the dreaded Norwalk virus exactly . . . how? Maybe the dirty looks are over the top (and maybe you're just too sensitive to them and they're not really dirty looks), but what exactly would you suggest other people do? Make the assumption that your kid isn't contagious and run the risk that they're wrong and will get sick just so you and your kid don't feel bad? Risk exposing their kids or themselves (who may be equally susceptible to bad results if they get sick) to your kid so you don't feel "excluded"?

I travel by public transportation every day, and work in an office, and the number of people who don't want to take "sick days" but would rather expose everyone to their germs is astronomical. How about the number of parents who send sick kids to school rather than taking a day off to keep them home? I am not going to assume that you are not one of those people. "We paid too much for this vacation, so I don't care if she has a little cough. We're going anyway!"

You need to do what you need to do to protect your family and yourself. But so do I. And if that means moving away from your coughing child, then that's what I'll do.

Now, if you want to put my mind at ease, a smile and "She has asthma" would eliminate any actions I might want to take to protect myself.

I'd say the onus is on you in this situation. Sorry. (And I'm sorry that both you and your child need to deal with this horrible asthma, too.)

 

[KigerKat]

I can definitely see this from both points of view. I have the exact same kind of asthma. Laughing a lot will also trigger my coughing spells, so heaven forbid I should have a good laugh every now and then. I guess going to the Laugh Factory is a "no-no" for me!

Over the years, I've learned to get over the nasty looks I get from strangers in public. I don't want to have to explain to everyone every time it happens why I am coughing so much, it's really none of their business. I do my best to cough in my arm or hands, away from people. If someone does have concern to say anything, then I will let them know that it's just an asthma induced cough (often along with allergies) and everything's fine.

It's human nature to want to protect yourself from outside germs, so it's perfectly natural for people to want to stay away from someone who is going through a coughing spell. Which could be a good thing - because I know I'm not contagious, but maybe they are. If they want to stay away from me, then I guess I don't have to worry about any unwanted germs from them!

 

[daisax]

For about 10 years I had reactive airways and would always get a postviral asthma. If I got sick, I'd then have a lingering cough for 2-3 months. And the coughing triggered more coughing, so occasionally just a stray odor or piece of dust hitting my throat the wrong way would trigger a 5 minute coughing/gasping fit. Staying home was not an option, since we're literally talking about MONTHS out of each year. I'd try sucking on jolly ranchers and carried water with me 24/7, but once it started, there was no stopping it until it ran out of gas.

I park my car and ride a shuttle bus each day to work. And frankly, I felt it was my responsibility to set people's minds at ease. It's annoying enough to listen to somebody hacking away from the noise factor alone -- there's no reason to make them wonder what they're exposed to. So I learned to quickly say (between coughs) "It's ASTHMA -- nothing contagious -- sorry I sound like typhoid Mary" and people laughed and were perfectly nice about it.

A friend of mine gets this unsightly hives occasionally -- if she's squished in somewhere with somebody and fears they might wonder if she's got some contagious rash, she simply smiles and says "it's hives, you can't catch anything!"

I don't even know if people were giving me dirty looks and wouldn't care if they were. I don't think it's too much to expect people who are making a commotion in an enclosed space to offer a brief explanation, though. There's nothing to be ashamed of having a non-contagious medical issue, but if it's on public display, privacy's out the window so you might as well be considerate.

 

[HappyPeach]

I don't want to get flamed for this but...I don't know how happy I would be if I were on a crowded bus with someone who was coughing uncontrolably. You and your party know that she is not contagious, but the rest of the passengers do not know this.
Sadly, we, as humans, do not handle illness in others well. We should be more tolerant, but we are not.
Hopefully, by reading your thread, and discussing it it will help make us more aware.
Doug

I agree with this. People who are giving you dirty looks are doing so because they are SCARED. They're scared that they are going to get sick from being in proximity to you. Why not just say, "Please don't worry. She's not contagious. It's asthma." Then you've said something instead of bottling it up and you've eased their worry as well. It's maybe above what you *have* to do. But it will probably make everyone feel better.

 

[Praying Colonel]

What I read is this has been bugging the OP for 9 years, and she's already worried about it before she even gets down there. My advice would be to not worry about it so much. We can't control what other people do--we can only control our own attitude and actions. I would just try to focus on the purpose of the trip and keep my attitude positive and relaxed.

 

[brymolmom]

It's funny but some of you brought up points that I hadn't really thought of before. Thanks for that. Just goes to show that you can learn something at just about any time!!!
I know that I was disturbed by the reactions to my coughing attacks. And I do cough into my arm...little to no 'spit' is escaping to cover all around me. But, I can understand someone's dismay. THey may be susceptable to germs, may be just recovering from something..how do they know that I'm not covering them with germs! Excellent point.
I guess that anyone who may be subject to coughing attacks could arm themselves with a handkerchief. Just keep it in your pocket and when the coughing attack comes along, just cover the lower half of your face. But you can still explain that there are no germs being spread about!!

Good points, however, each of us has germs, even when healthy. And every person would react differently to the 'germs' in someone else's healthy system. So even when healthy we ALL spread germs when we cough or sneeze - we just try to limit it as much as possible.

 

[TitanBrett]

This might not be exactly the right venue for this, but it's been bugging me for 9 years and - now that I'm about to embark on my next big Disney adventure - it's resurfaced to bug me even more. Just want to vent.

So, dd has asthma. She's a coughing asthmatic. She overexerts and she coughs like she's going to cough up a lung. She gets a mild headcold and she'll cough like a chronic smoker for the next 4 weeks. Not much we can do about it but do the inhalers and albuterol and - in the worst case scenario, steroids - and just move forward.

9 years ago we were at Disney and was suffering pretty badly with her asthma. She was *not* sick, but she couldn't stop coughing. As a result, we got some of the nastiest looks from people. Taking Disney transportation was a nightmare because people made an obvious attempt to stay away from her. They'd sit near her, hear her cough, give us a dirty look, and then get up and move away deliberately.

In all the years we've dealt with her asthma, the reaction from people at Disney World was *the worst*. I spent the entire time explaining that she truly wasn't sick and that it was her asthma.

So we're leaving for Disney in about 7 weeks. Her asthma has been very mild for several years now, but I can't help but being seriously gun-shy about going to Disney.

Send positive vibes that this trip is much better in that regard than the last...

I dont think you should worry about this at all. It's not your job to make people comfortable around your daughter. You are not doing anything irresponsible. People may think she is infectious, but they are wrong, it's not up to you to assure them of that. Let them act however they will, just dont let it effect your fun or your daughter's....There are times on the monorail I would love people to move away from me

Get her a T-shirt that says "It's Called Asthma People, Get Over it"

 

[goofy4tink]

Good points, however, each of us has germs, even when healthy. And every person would react differently to the 'germs' in someone else's healthy system. So even when healthy we ALL spread germs when we cough or sneeze - we just try to limit it as much as possible.

And we emit germs every time we exhale.....or everytime we touch a surface. I completely understand what you are saying, but really....this is a germ filled world. And while I can understand everyone's concern about the safety of their own family, it's harsh to okay someone's giving a badly coughing child dirty looks as if she were spreading bubonic plague. I would just turn my back and get on with life. There are many more germs on the handrails in the attractions or on the seats themselves on those buses. Other than stay at home, in a bubble, everyone has to 'take their chances' that others are being responsible and not running around contagious. I know...a big responsibility.

 

[CathieArms]

Thanks, y'all, for your many responses. I really hadn't intended to make this a superthread; it's just something that's been bothering me for a long time and it felt good to get it off my chest.

Just to reiterate, it wasn't that the people moved away from us that was troublesome; it was the SERIOUS dagger looks that they gave us. I've never in my life experienced those types of hateful looks. It makes sense, as someone pointed out, that everyone paid a lot of money for their Disney vacations and - if they thought I'd brought out a sick kid - they might've thought I was a really bad mom. But, like I said, I've never before or since received such hateful looks when my daughter had her coughing attacks.

It's over and done. We're leaving in about 7 weeks. I'll just hope that we don't have a repeat performance.

 

[disneynewbee]

I also have a dd with asthma and when she gets coughing it's hard to stop. That said I would probably move too but I would try not to be obvious about it and certainly wouldn't give dirty looks. Why? Because I don't know why she is coughing. And even if you mentioned the asthma I would probably still move? Why? Because I've had parents tell me their kids were not contagious so many times only for my child to come down with what they had. My dd currently has bumps on her necks and arms that will last up to two years because a friend of hers had them and the mom flat out told me they were not contagious. Well when my dd got them and my nephew we both took our children to the doctor to find out that it was in fact contagious. That mom had took her dd to the doctors and flat out lied because she didn't want her dd to miss out on the fun. I have a sister who is famous for doing this too. It's really horrible that some parents are so worried about their own kids fun that they put others at risk. So anyway I don't trust other parents any more when they say their kids are not contagious. My dd with asthma also had a lobe of her lung removed as an infant, when she gets sick she gets very sick and I'm not going to risk it. I would never be mean about it though.

 

[WALTSAGOD]

Pulmocort is an awesome preventive drug. Ask your doc about it.

Our 11 year old has been on asthma meds since he was 6 months old.

 

[moxie99]

I'm sorry your daughter has asthma, I've had it my entire life and I'm now 55 - because of this, and because even a slight cold makes me miserable, we are moving - and FAST -- if you said, no worry, it's asthma, I would say, I'm sorry, but I would still move. We are not germophobes, but... we're still going to move.

 

[thatgrrl]

there are people in the world who save all their lives to go to the most magical place on earth to be overdramatic in their comments and looks towards other people...

as a child asthmatic who is now and adult asthmatic i can tell you need to teach her tough skin reactions. 4 years ago i had a co-worker who would yell over her cubicle and spray lysol every time i would hack up a lung. she KNEW what i was deal with but continue to spray aeresol (like that helped me stop coughing) and refer to my a "thypoid mary". too bad for her when our boss got fired 3 years ago and i was "acting director" she got the can for being an idiot. actually for other things, but trust me, "Typhoid Mary" was at the meetings with Human Resources.