Oh, February

[MamaJinji]

My mother died when I was 14. From a combination of things, like Kushing's and diabetes and an infection that just wouldn't go away. I'm 27, and while I can say I don't miss her any less, I can honestly say that at least I can look back at my memories of her and not want to cry now. But in February, it gets a lot harder. She died on the 27th, and this time of month I start to remember how she looked that last month, and especially that last day. It's not a good memory. And I think how much she would have loved my son, because that kid is everything she always wanted in a child - a redheaded, blue-eyed wonder. It hurts, knowing he'll never know her.

To complicate matters, my uncle died last year on the 25th of February. I wasn't as close with him, but I do have fond memories of him. But it makes me feel worse for my dad. That was his brother. And I know it hurts Dad a lot that it happened so close to the death of his wife (within days of the anniversary), because that was one of the few times he opened up about how bad he was feeling to me. It sucks that I can't help him through this at all, not as far away as I am.

It's just a rough month. :/ I just wanted to post my thoughts about it somewhere. Helps to write it out.

 

[Christine]

I think we can all relate. November seems to be my "bad" month. Grandmother died, father died, etc. September is not so great either. It's funny how something a simple as the month in a year can trigger these issues to come to the surface.

 

[mommasita]

My December's are this way.. Sending you lots of strength to get though this month, it isn't easy..

 

[halfpintpeggy]

Positive thoughts & hugs. xxoo

 

[danny1649]

So sorry to hear about your problem. My Mother, sister , and two uncles all died in May so I understand you having a downer month.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Yes, those trigger months are so difficult. Mine is December when my dad died tragically just before Christmas. 5 years later, and sometimes I have small breakdowns when I'm alone. My dad used to sing "The Banana" song in the shower when I was a kid and I could remember hearing him all the way from his shower to my bedroom. I heard it playing the other day and it brought me to tears.

I can't imagine losing a parent as a teenager because it's such a vulnerable time. I'm sorry your son wasn't able to meet his grandmother. I'm a believer that she hasn't missed a beat though.