off topic but please hug your children and tell them you love them today

[stacktester]

Dan, I don't know you very well but the time I met Jeff I'm sure he wouldn't want you to stop camping. Please make something positive from this to keep Jeff's memory alive not let it be forgotten. Still praying for you all.

 

[mgsmom]

You are still in all of our thoughts and prayers! I think Donnie is onto something about making something positive happen. Maybe get involved in animal rescue? Something that you know Jeff would appreciate.

When my first DH passed away, I worked to raise money to create a small scholarship for college students in his memory. It was a way to remember him and actually DO something about it - I felt so helpless that it was good to have a focus.

 

[LORNADUCK]

Dan, please don't fade away, at least keep checking in with us.

 

[bigdisneydaddy]

I think about you a lot and hope that you are able to find some peace these days.

 

[stacktester]

I think a scholarship idea is great. Just think how many kids could benefit from something created for Jeff. There's lots of ways to remember Jeff positively. Your wife and kids need you to be strong Dan. If you fade away Jeff's memory will too.

 

[auntie]

Well this thread finally went off the front page.

Today we had bd party for my grandson. Tomorrow is Kris's bday and it will be 4 mths to the day that Jeff died. What a freaking bday.

Oh well thanks again for all the wonderful thoughts and prayers.

Anyway no more camping for me so I think i will just let this thread die and fade away as I am going to do.

take care and I love all of you

bye

Dan, you do what it is you need to do to survive.
If that means taking a break from camping for a while. That's okay. It's likely right now it feels as if camping is equivilent to ripping a scab off a wound. Hard for that to heal. However, that doesn't mean that at some point..you may actually find comfort in doing the things Jeff used to enjoy. That time hasn't come yet..and it will be a while before it does.

I personally, hope that you don't "fade away". Although..if you want us to stop posting in this thread, I understand that as well. I do hope you post in other threads and contribute when you feel up to it, even if it's just to say "hi". You have inspired many of us to be better parents. To love our kids no matter what, and to TELL them so. By sharing your grief with us, you've reminded us not to take for granted what is right in front of us, for in a heartbeat it can be gone. That is HUGE Dan. I hope you realize just how many people YOU have touched. I just want you to know that I appreciate that you've taken the time to share your thoughts and grief with this camping community. I know there is nothing any of us can really say that will ease your pain, because none of it will bring your beautiful boy back.
Fade from this forum..if you must(but I selfishly hope you don't). Just please Dan..for the love of God..and for the Love of Jeff..don't fade away from your family. They need you now more than ever. That little grandson needs to have a grandpa to look up to and tell him about his Uncle Jeff.
Hold on Dan..hold on very tight.

 

[VACAMPER]

I cant even imagine the pain your in but i have watched from the outside. My best friend lost her little boy to cancer when he was 9. Everyday she got up put her other 2 kids on the bus and then went to bed for the day until they got home. I was so worried we were going to lose her too. I made excuses to go to her house every morning to "make" her live. Id make her work out with me, go for a walk, spread her mulch just something to make her move. She still has bad days where she never makes it out of bed but, slowly over the years she has learned to function and even laugh again. Its a rough road, dont be afraid to ask for help. Have a buddy come over, take your wife on a walk, learn to live again for Jeff your family, and you..

 

[DaveInTN]

Dan, you do what it is you need to do to survive.
If that means taking a break from camping for a while. That's okay. It's likely right now it feels as if camping is equivilent to ripping a scab off a wound. Hard for that to heal. However, that doesn't mean that at some point..you may actually find comfort in doing the things Jeff used to enjoy. That time hasn't come yet..and it will be a while before it does.

I personally, hope that you don't "fade away". Although..if you want us to stop posting in this thread, I understand that as well. I do hope you post in other threads and contribute when you feel up to it, even if it's just to say "hi". You have inspired many of us to be better parents. To love our kids no matter what, and to TELL them so. By sharing your grief with us, you've reminded us not to take for granted what is right in front of us, for in a heartbeat it can be gone. That is HUGE Dan. I hope you realize just how many people YOU have touched. I just want you to know that I appreciate that you've taken the time to share your thoughts and grief with this camping community. I know there is nothing any of us can really say that will ease your pain, because none of it will bring your beautiful boy back.
Fade from this forum..if you must(but I selfishly hope you don't). Just please Dan..for the love of God..and for the Love of Jeff..don't fade away from your family. They need you now more than ever. That little grandson needs to have a grandpa to look up to and tell him about his Uncle Jeff.
Hold on Dan..hold on very tight.

What a beautiful and poignant post.

It's true Dan, you have affected so many of us in such an important way. We have reassessed our roles as parents. I know that I have let a lot of little things with my kids slide that I might have gotten worked up over before. Things that really don't matter. You have helped me see what is really important, and to live each day with my kids one at a time.

I continue to pray for you and your family.

 

[AuburnJen92]

I do hope that you keep your camper Dan. Your grandchild(ren) will benefit from your camping knowledge in the years to come and will love to camp with their grandfather. Jeff will look down on all of you and smile and know his love is with your family and your hearts. We are all still here for you to vent, share and cry with. We haven't gone away.

 

[DisneyBishops]

I know I said I wonldn't post anymore.
But today would've been Jeff's 19th birthday.

Just wish I could tell him happy birthday to his face.

Dec 1st has been a happy day the last 18yrs. But this one is just so much different and sad.

About 100 of his friends did a balloon release for him on Sat. his birthday is 12-1-91. they released 91 balloons at 12:01. A little early for his birthday but many of them had to go back to college.

It still amazes me how many lives he touched in a short time. Many people has wished him happy birthday today on his facebook page. some I know and many I don't.

I just can't get into the holidays this year and don't even know if I want to.

Hope I didn't ruin anyone's holidays and thanks for letting me vent some.

 

[DaveInTN]

Dan, I was just thinking about you and your family last night. You are still in the hearts and prayers of a lot of us on this board. You are absolutely NOT ruining anyone's holidays by posting about your continuing grief and difficulties in coping with this loss. In fact, your experiences continue to reflect in how many of us are building stronger relationships with our own kids. The holidays may mean something a bit different to some of us because of what you've gone through. It may bring the focus for some back to the more important and intangible things in life, such as family and friendship.

I know this season will be difficult for you and your family. Just know that prayers continue to come your way.

Happy Birthday Jeff.

 

[SC DAD of 2]

I can't say it any better then Dave said it.

You and your family are in my prayers sir.

 

[Just Beachy]

Dave said it exactly right.

 

[auntie]

Dan, thank you for posting and letting us know how you're feeling. You have been in my thoughts as of late. I was hoping you might pop in and share your thoughts with us. Your boy touched so many lives. He must have truly been one special kid. I know there really isn't anything that can be said that's gonna change anything for you....but please know, I will be praying for you and your family. God bless you.

 

[LORNADUCK]

Dan, your family has been in my thoughts, this has to be on of the hardest days. I think it is wonderful how his friends are keeping his memory alive, he really touched them. You should be very proud.
Please don't think that you are ruining anything for anyone, we are glad to hear from you, we are always hear to listen.
Please take care of yourself.

 

[mgsmom]

You aren't ruining anything - I am also glad you checked in with us. I've been worried about you and wondering how you are doing.
I know the holidays will be realy tough. I am glad to hear about how Jeff is still being remembered - and he always will be!
You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[DisneyBishops]

I am beginning to hate this time of year. And I for one will be glad when 2010 goes away.

For some reason I have been shedding many tears this week.

I have really gotten tired of people telling me everything is going to be ok. I am sure they mean well but everything is never going to be ok. Life has changed in a way i could have never imagined.

Almost 9 mths have passed since that fateful night. I still call his phone and text him most everyday. I still pay for his phone line. Just can't bring myself to cancel it. I still miss Jeff so dang much.

Did I mention that I hate this time of year. This used to be such a happy time in our family but not this year.

Thanks again to all of you for your kind words.

and please hug your kids everyday and tell them how much you love them. No matter how mad they make you.

Trust me you never want to be in the place where you can't tell them or hug them.

 

[mgsmom]

Oh, Dan, you have very good reason for shedding many tears. This is a terribly difficult time of year. I wish I could do something to make it better for you. But it's just going to stink.
Maybe try having an anti-holiday? The Christmas right after my DH passed away, I had my best friend from college (I know, but we are still so close) fly out to see me. We drank beer and had pizza on Christmas day - watching silly chick movies and painting our nails. Now, I'm not saying to go out and get a manicure, but maybe a good solid avoidance strategy may help.
I'm not a therapist either - probably not very sound advice - but it worked for me. Just tryin' to help.

 

[DisneyBishops]

Oh, Dan, you have very good reason for shedding many tears. This is a terribly difficult time of year. I wish I could do something to make it better for you. But it's just going to stink.
Maybe try having an anti-holiday? The Christmas right after my DH passed away, I had my best friend from college (I know, but we are still so close) fly out to see me. We drank beer and had pizza on Christmas day - watching silly chick movies and painting our nails. Now, I'm not saying to go out and get a manicure, but maybe a good solid avoidance strategy may help.
I'm not a therapist either - probably not very sound advice - but it worked for me. Just tryin' to help.

Thank you

 

[VACAMPER]

Dan, everyday i pray for God to ease your pain. I also pray ill never know the pain you and your wife are going through. I cant begin to imagine and i dont want to ever know. I hope you find some way to get through the holidays. Just know you have a very special angel watching over you this year. Your messages to him on fb break my heart. I wish i could help in some way.