off topic but please hug your children and tell them you love them today

[4mickey2]

<hugs>

 

[DisneyBishops]

Thank you all for the kind words and prayers

Been 12 wks today since jeff left. Still not easy to deal with. I know people think I'm crazy when they see me driving down the road crying a few tears or sometimes a river. I am sure they think damn, grown man crying. Most be something wrong with him. I can't help it but this dark cloud of saddnes just comes over me several times at day. At that point I just tear up. Somedays I have to leave my office for awhile.

I was raised where men don't cry. If that is true then I am less of a man. Someday the tears may stop but I just don't know when

Everyone says things happen for a reason. But damned if I know what the reason is.

Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling

 

[2goofycampers]

Dan, this is just my 2 cents. I don't believe there is a reason for everything. Just wrong place, wrong time = accident. If either one gives you any solace then go with that.

 

[mgsmom]

You are still in my prayers every day. Don't worry about what other people think - you have to do what you need to do. Crying doesn't make you any less of a man. The loss you have to endure is heartwrenching - you really need to cry. You are right, some day you won't cry. It will sneak up on you. One day (it'll be a while) you'll be getting ready to go to bed and you'll think "Hey - I didn't cry today". You will always think of Jeff, every single day. But the crying will eventually subside.

Thinking of you always.

 

[sjs314]

Dan,
You are not alone, remember that, even though at times it will seem that way. As for people who say things happen for a reason, I myself cringe and want to scream everytime someone utters those words to me since my DS died.
As far as crying and not being a man ,don't worry about what anyone might think, no one and I mean no one understands what you are going thru, My DH cries still as does my older DS , Jay's brother.
At the wake the boys my son went to HS with showed up and I can tell you they cried too, and it made me feel good knowing how much they loved and would miss my boy.

 

[stacktester]

Thank you all for the kind words and prayers

Been 12 wks today since jeff left. Still not easy to deal with. I know people think I'm crazy when they see me driving down the road crying a few tears or sometimes a river. I am sure they think damn, grown man crying. Most be something wrong with him. I can't help it but this dark cloud of saddnes just comes over me several times at day. At that point I just tear up. Somedays I have to leave my office for awhile.

I was raised where men don't cry. If that is true then I am less of a man. Someday the tears may stop but I just don't know when

Everyone says things happen for a reason. But damned if I know what the reason is.

Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling

Dan I have tears in my eyes for you as I'm reading this. I just can't imagine the pain. We're praying for you. Hey maybe I can start a fat morans crying man club lol. If you weren't crying something would be wrong. Please share your grief anytime you feel the need.

 

[BLTtinkerbell]

Dear Dan, I am so sorry for your loss. You have every right to cry. It doesn't make you less of a man to cry. It shows how much you loved your son and how much you miss him. Please know there are many people praying for you and your family and you can vent here when you want. To all who feel this pain, I hope it gets better very soon.

 

[3girlsfun]

Hugs to you and your family....

 

[disney4dan]

Hang in there Dan. Know that Jeff is keeping an eye out for you and the family now.

I also wanted to say that I hope nothing I have posted in the previous replies was taken the wrong way or irritated you. Sometimes what people say can seem so insensitive - and I hope nothing I said came across that way.

Truly wishing you peace and comfort soon. Maybe time for a get away to someplace quiet with the family? Someplace that none of you have been to before?

 

[AuburnJen92]

Dan,

I actually LOVE to hear your "rambling!" It lets me know you have made it through another day and my prayers have done some good. Every morning I ask God to help you and your family make it through this day and for Jeff to help those in need in Heaven. I have no idea if it will get easier, I sure hope so, but I don't have a clue. All I know is that we are here for you to cry, rant, scream, yell, ramble and listen. Thanks for letting us know.

 

[LORNADUCK]

Dan, I haven't written anything on this tread for a while, that doesn't mean I am not reading it and crying with you every day. My heart still goes out to you and your family and I can't imagine how hard this is for all of you. We are here for you and don't think it is rambling. I feel honored that you are sharing your inner most thoughts with us, I just wish I could help you more. My family was brought up that men don't cry that is BS, a real man can cry, so cry your eyes out because it helps.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

Dan, I've been debating for a couple weeks whether this is something that would help or hurt -- I'm really, really hoping it's the former: A fellow mom writer lost her 18-year old son on Memorial Day. He'd made some bad choices that contributed to his death, but her loss is still very real and heartbreaking. She's got a blog (www.mamapundit.com) where she's very honest and forthright about finding her way through the pain. (Side note: She's 42 and expecting her fifth baby within weeks, so there's a twist in her grief.)

I wanted to share the site in case her words and thoughts can help you with your struggle in any way. If it's too painful, I sincerely apologize -- I just think of you and her daily and (for what it's worth) keep you both in my prayers for some kind of peace.

Kate

 

[DisneyBishops]

Not looking forward to this weekend.

 

[disney4dan]

Understandable Dan. Hang in there and try to do whatever you can to make the most of it.

I bet if you called your daughter would be more than willing to come and help make the weekend better, maybe catch a local minor league game? Go to a movie? Drink a case of beer and reminisce, whatever it takes Dan.

I'll be thinking of you and sending a prayer up to the big guy asking him to keep an eye on you.

 

[DisneyBishops]

If drinking would help. I would have drunk a few kegs by now. I haven't drank anything with alcohol since Jeff died.

This will be the first fathers day in 18 yrs I haven't spent with Jeff. It will be my worst day since he died.

Not staying home though. We are going to Ft. Lauderdale (where Tiff is in law school) and spend the weekend there. I think that will be easier than stayhing here.

 

[AnotherAlice]

I'll be at the fort in about a week, would you like me to release a balloon for you in honor of your son?

 

[DisneyBishops]

I'll be at the fort in about a week, would you like me to release a balloon for you in honor of your son?

What a wonderful thought. The Monday after Jeff died his classmates all released baloons at the HS he attended. It was a very touching moment.

Thank you so very much.

 

[AnotherAlice]

I'll be happy to do that for you and your family!

 

[mgsmom]

Oh, I'm sure you are dreading this weekend like crazy! I'm so sorry you are having to go through this! You are smart to go somewhere - change of scenery might be helpful.

In my prayers - I'll be thinking of you on Sunday too.

 

[auntie]

Thinking of you Dan.