NY/NJ/CT people - how much to give a sibling for wedding gift?

[Janepod]

I am directing this to the tri-state area folks ... those who know the "cover your plate" rule.

My brother is remarrying soon. He is in his 40s, second wedding. Bride is in her 20s, first wedding. We want to give them cash as a wedding gift.

Their wedding is low key and simple at bride's parents' home in Virginia. If we were to cover our plate, it would be only about $60/pp. We want to give more than that. It's me, husband, and six-year-old. We're all in the wedding and spending money on shower, bachelor party/bachelorette, wedding party stuff. Not that that should matter.

For his first wedding, 10 years ago, we gave $350.

How much would you give now? $500?

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[JaneBanks]

I would give $500 because he is my brother. If I couldn't afford it, I would give as much as I possibly could.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'd give $300, I think. It's a second wedding (and you already gave a gift for the first, just 10 years ago), and it's costing you money to participate in the wedding. However, it's a close family member, so that counts for something. Also, since you gave $350 last time, you don't want to give much less, which would make it seem like this marriage is less important than the last one. But, since the reception is not being held in the NYC area, I'm guessing many guests will give less.

 

[js]

I am directing this to the tri-state area folks ... those who know the "cover your plate" rule.

My brother is remarrying soon. He is in his 40s, second wedding. Bride is in her 20s, first wedding. We want to give them cash as a wedding gift.

Their wedding is low key and simple at bride's parents' home in Virginia. If we were to cover our plate, it would be only about $60/pp. We want to give more than that. It's me, husband, and six-year-old. We're all in the wedding and spending money on shower, bachelor party/bachelorette, wedding party stuff. Not that that should matter.

For his first wedding, 10 years ago, we gave $350.

How much would you give now? $500?

Thanks for your thoughts.

$500, it's her first wedding.
I would also make sure I give something "big" on the Registry for her shower.
I live in SI,NY.

 

[badblackpug]

You give what you can afford. Period. It has nothing to do with where you live or what they are spending on the wedding. If you can afford $500 give $500. If you can afford $350 give that. If you can afford $50 give that.

Your brother wants you there to celebrate his marriage, he is (hopefully) not looking to turn a profit.

 

[punkin]

$500, it's her first wedding.
I would also make sure I give something "big" on the Registry for her shower.
I live in SI,NY.

True, but they are HIS relatives. I think second weddings are a lot more difficult to gauge. I don't see anything wrong with giving $300 or $350 if that's what the OP can afford. In fact, in this case that is what I would do.

When my DBIL got married the first time, we gave $500 (it was not a "cover your plate" thing since they got married in a VWF hall - very cheap). For the second wedding we gave a lot less (it was both parties' second time around). He's about to go for #3 and I think $25 should be enough.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

It may be the bride's first marriage, but she won't be expecting the high tri-state area wedding gifts anyway. It's your brother's 2nd wedding, I would give $250, $300 tops. Since it's a 2nd wedding and you've already given a gift for the 1st wedding, that's being generous.

 

[ForAandA]

$500 and something very nice from the registry. I am sure your brother would do the same for you .

 

[AnnaS]

I would probably give $350 - $400.

 

[LJRJR]

I would give $500, if you can afford it. Even though it is his second wedding it is her first. I live in New York, (the same borough as another person who posted S.I.) Have fun at the wedding.

 

[Janepod]

Thanks for all the insight. We have been thinking $500 so it's nice to get confirmation. We are looking forward to the wedding but it will be a busy few months with all the pre-wedding events!

 

[Tozzie]

I vote $500 as well that is what I gave my sister for her wedding, I was also the maid of honor.