now it's my Dad...

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Deesknee, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Some of you may remember me. I am asking for well wishes and/or prayers. My Dad is 88..almost 89. But, he has been active. Still driving, visiting. STill very much mentally aware. However, he has been hospitalized with a UT infection, but now his respitory illness seems to be increasing dramatically. The prayers I am asking for are for him to not be frightened of whatever may come. And for us, his children to be guided to do for him what he & his God will.
    And, for my family to be peaceful. We have lost my Mom, one of my best friends (whom visited us at least once a week for over 25 years), and my DFIL, now my Dad all within 15 months.
    Thank you for anyone who can take a moment to think good thoughts, or say a prayer.
    All of my disboard friends remain in my prayers.
    Thanks.
    Dee
     
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  3. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Oh Dee :hug:. I am so sorry.

    You are all in my thoughts and prayers.. If there is anything more, please no hesitation..:hug:
     
  4. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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  5. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thank you both. My Dad passed away yesterday morning. Too much heartache in a 15mnth period. I am a spiritual adult and I am having a tough time. I can't imagine how my children are handling it all.
    Nov. 2011 - their Grandmother passed
    march 2012 - their "uncle" whom they saw ATLEAST every Thursday for their entire lives (more since he 2009 when he had a stroke & was unable to work)
    Aug. 2012 - their Grandfather (DH's dad)
    now Feb 2013 - their other Grandfather (my Dad)

    My poor 9 year old. she keep saying she is sick of people dying. Se his sick of sadness. My Dad just moved back up here from FLA last March. I keep telling her we are so fortunate we got to spend such great time with him. She keeps saying yeah, but now I won't get to hug him, or hear his voice again. ...How do you react to that, especially when you feel the same way?

    Thanks everyone. I am a rational person. If it continues to be an issue we will seek grief counseling. At the moment I am hoping by expressing my grief it will help the healing process.
    Thanks for being here.
     
  6. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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    Aww, I'm so sorry to read this. It's so hard when family members get older. We're dealing with it, too. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:
     
  7. DisneyFan32WI

    DisneyFan32WI Grumpy Cat

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    I'm so sorry for all your heartache. It is so awful to see children hurting. My oldest sees a grief counselor once a week since my dad died. She was so close to him. I think she is afraid that someone else will die next. It is awful.
     
  8. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thank you. It is true as the generation above me passes, I realize I am now a grown up... like it or not. No matter how often I wear my Disney hat that say's "I'm never growing up"

    It is awful to see children trying to deal with so much grief. One of my sons has seen someone as well. He was 6 1/2 when my brother was killed in a vehicle accident. That was over 15 years ago. My oldest DD has seen one as well as recent as last summer. I think we may be heading back again. It is so hard to explain to a child why someone was taken from them. Old or young grief is grief. It is not easy. thank you for the kind words. And I hope you & your DD find comfort soon.

    DD went to school for an hour today, got choked up in school. She was afraid she was going to cry & didn't want to get embarrassed in front of the ohter kids, so she came home. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. She & I snuggled and talked a lot about her "Bumpa". Good & bad. Happy & sad. and even a little guilt she had. Time will tell, but maybe we'll be okay.

    Thank you all for being here. As silly as it sounds, just typing it is theraputic.
     
  9. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    :hug: So sorry..

    It really is a lot for anyone to go through, never mind children, you are so right... We can't really process, and wonder what their minds tell them...

    Please don't be sorry. We all need shoulders at the best of times, never mind the roughest...

    Thinking such positive thoughts for your entire family. You sound like one heck of a Mother...Xo
     
  10. robinb

    robinb DIS Veteran

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    I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. You have had a lot of heartache recently. {{hugs}} to you and your family. I'm thinking of you tonight and sending good thoughts your way.
     
  11. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thanks. I don't know if my kids would always agree I am "one heck of a Mother". But I guess that means I'm doing my job. :lmao:



    Thank you so much.

    DD went to school today. She asked if she could come home if she gets sad. I told her I won't be home for part of the day. (have to go to the crematorium with my brothers). She seemed great as we dropped her off. fingers crossed she is able to keep that beautiful smile on her face. Older DD told me her first class was canceled. hmmmm. Hope it is not the depression sneaking up again.
     
  12. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    It certainly does. Heck we do it with love..

    :grouphug: I hope it isn't. One day at a time. Thinking of you all.
     
  13. Dan Murphy

    Dan Murphy We are family.

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    Very sorry to hear this, Dee. You are all in my prayers of comfort. God speed for your dad.
     
  14. disney212

    disney212 DIS Veteran

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    Your family is in my prayers. :hug::hug:
     
  15. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Wanted to see how you are doing.:grouphug:
     
  16. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thank you Dan.

    Thank you.
    We are all doing okay. Thank you. One of my brothers & 2 of his sons cleaned out my Dad's apartement yesterday. Then I went up to my brothers house & helped go through Dad's personal belongings. Pictures galore. He & I had just looked at them about a month ago. It was difficult, but I'm sure it helps with the healing. Each of us took a little something to remember him.

    Somewhat ironic story. I stopped driving about 4 yrs ago due to a disability. A couple of years ago my Dad told me he wanted me to have his precious car. (I mean this is the car he dreamed about when I was a kid. He finally bought one about some years back). My brothers & I always laughed that Dad wanted me to have it so that it would stay prestine, because I can't drive it. :lmao: But, I always thought my nephew or one of my brothers that knew cars and appreciated them should have it when the day came. Well, on the way back from picking my son up from colllege, just hours after my Dad passed, our mini van broke down. (After 4hours of waiting for AAA, we called they told us about 3- 31/2 more hours....) we had it towed to our mechanic. Who told us the next day it was gone. cam shaft snapped. :confused3:confused3
    Well, everyone has decided it was Dad. And that I am to have that vehicle to be chauffered around in. Honestly, Dad had a will and everything was in writing anyway, but we all are getting a chuckle out of Dad finalizing everything! That's the way Dad, you cross every t and dot every i .

    Thanks to everyone for your wonderful support, well wishes and prayers. Everyone has put everything into place that they need to get through this sad journey. When the triplets graduate college it will be difficult, as he kept saying he just wanted to live long enough to see that. (all will be graduated by this summer...fingers crossed). Personally, I have times I swear he is pulling in the driveway. But, I know that is natural. I have been very fortunate to have been surrounded by people that love me so much & that I love so much that it hurts this bad when they are gone. I am very blessed.
    Thank you again.
    Dee
     
  17. Pea-n-Me

    Pea-n-Me DIS Veteran

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    Great story! :goodvibes :grouphug:
     
  18. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    :thumbsup2

    So agree it is Dad!
     
  19. MomiTo2SwtGuys

    MomiTo2SwtGuys DIS Veteran

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    So sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. Hope your children are coping well.:grouphug:
     
  20. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Thank you. We are all doing okay. Each of us are taking the steps we as individuals need to, and continue to support each other as a family. I guess the upside of having dealt with death so often, is that we now realize it is not something you put off dealing with.
    Thank each of you for your prayers and/or support. All prayers past present and future are appreciated.
    As always my disboard friends are remembered in my prayers as well.
     
  21. Deesknee

    Deesknee <font color=blue>When we were kids (long time ago)

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    Just adding to this thread because you all have been so wonderful and comforting. I just received a call that my cousin 48yrs old just had a heart attack. I don't know many details yet other than they are operating on him as I type this.
    If you all don't mind thinking positive and if you are a praying person I sure would appreciate it.
     

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