Not Sure Where to Post This

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Ok I am not sure where to post this but I know you guys give great advice. My MIL is having financial difficulties. She owns her own home outright but she has very little income (not exactly sure how much though). BIL offered to buy her house contract for deed if she moves out and he can move in. He is very unreliable and I wouldn't put it past him to stop paying and MIL wouldn't kick him out. MIL wants to stay in her own home. She doesn't want to sell it or move and I don't blame her. DH and I have been discussing buying her house from her only letting her stay in it so she is never forced to leave it. In her area a 3 bedroom 2 bath home would normally rent for about 1400 a month (property values are much less than other parts of the country). We would pay probably half to her each month (700.00) let her live in it, pay all the taxes and insurance (this is what is impossible for her) and do all the repairs and unfinished remodeling that her exhusband didn't do.

Now everything will be legally drawn up. I am not asking you guys instead of legal advice I am just asking before this happens so I know what to expect. What about taxes, besides property taxes? for us? for her?

Now DH has 2 sisters and a brother. The older sister thinks this is a great idea...younger sister is fine with it but I know BIL will be livid. BIL and DH don't get along very well. But I am afraid MIL will get so desperate that she would sell to BIL and he would ship her off to a nursing home. I know him and we will be prepared for him getting very upset but I figured MIL has the right to do anything with her own property as long as she is alive.

Any advice would gbe helpful.

 

[runwad]

I don't know much about it, but she sounds like a candidate for a reverse mortgage. I'd look into it.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

That is what we were thinking but MIL would like us to buy it instead.

 

[Mathfailure]

If brother in law is such a piece of work, if he seems poised to take advantage, talk loudly about elder abuse, and contact an agency for the grounds to turn him in.

However, sometimes the 'rotten child' is the one the parent tries to take care of, to their own peril.

Good luck, and talk to a lawyer.

 

[LisaInNc]

a reverse mortgage might be an option. What about a roommate? Someone you all screen carefully.

Lisa

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

MIL has already thought about all her options and decided against all of them. except letting BIL buy her place. BIL bought a small home from his dad (MIL's ex), contract for deed, and paid him for a whole 5 months before he stooped. His dad (my DH's step dad) just gave him the house. He plans on bullying MIL into living in the other tiny house. She is so desperate that she was going to take her chances and hop he doesn't move her out until DH told her that if it ever comes to that he will buy her house and let her live in it. I think it would be benficial for all of us...she gets to stay in her house and we have an investment.

 

[sjs314]

DH mother took a reverse mortgage a few years ago, seems to have worked out well for her and I know when she passes DH has the option of then buying the property or selling it within a year to pay back the monies Mil has taken against the house.
I would check into that if she is dead set about staying in the home.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

She doesn't want to do the reverse mortgage. She always wanted her house to go to her kids and she feels much better about having DH buy it. This is what she wants to do. Basically she wants to sell it to DH and he wants to buy it.

 

[mom2g3]

Seriously...a reverse mortgage would be her best bet. She could receive approx 50% or more of her equity upfront and she could put that into an interest bearing account to draw from AND she would NEVER have a payment as long as she lives in the home.

The best thing is.....the interest is drawn from the remaining 50% equity a little at a time and depending on how long she lives, there should be plenty of equity left to leave to her heirs.

The bank doesn't "keep the house" when she dies or moves out. When the house is sold, the bank is paid back for the amount borrowed, plus interest and the remaining proceeds go to her or to her heirs. That part works just like there was a normal mortgage on the property.

I'm a mortgage loan officer for one of the major banks left in the U.S., so I am a subject matter expert.

Reverse Mortgages received a bad rap several years ago, but the rules have changed and the borrowers have protection now. Also, the borrower must receive counseling from a dis-interested 3rd party and the "children" are allowed to attend if the borrower invites them.

Also...selling the house to your DH has WAY more closing costs, too. It would be a better "investment" to let her use the equity in her home to support herself and the leftovers will go to her heirs anyway. Then, in the meantime, BIL cannot take advantage of her and the pressure of her bills would be completely gone and she could take care of herself.

And...when she is ready to move out or dies, then your DH could buy the house then. He would get a mortgage and buy it just like a normal purchase of investment property. It's the same thing.

My company does NOT allow pressure sales of any kind and they spend a LOT of time making sure that she is the right candidate for the program.

PM me if she would like more information. I'll just need her zip code (I don't even need her name) and I can find a reverse mortgage specialist in her area to help her receive personal care. I will give you their name and number and you can call them if/when you like. You can even be the point of contact to help her along. I'll let you know the bank I work for in a PM, just not here. I don't want to use DIS for business. I just want to help your mom.

I can answer any questions in a PM.....and it doesn't cost anything for that!

 

[Sadie22]

Your husband and his siblings could go with mom to an elder law attorney to discuss the options so that she will be taken care of and the house go to one or all of her children upon her death. Options could include something like a life estate deed (if available in her state) so that she lives in the house but upon her death the house goes to her children outside of probate. A reverse mortgage could also be discussed with the attorney so he/she can discuss the pros and cons of various options. The attorney may have other options to offer to ensure the best care of MIL for her lifetime, including the possibility of long term care needs.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Thank you for all the info. I am looking into all of it. I do have a question for mom2g3..how would buying the home have way more closing costs? Who would require these closing costs? Who would receive the money? MIL owns 100% of her home and does not have any loans against it at all. She does not want a down payment or interest. I am just curious.

 

[kaytieeldr]

My sister bought my mom's house while my mom was still alive (for financial reasons, like the OP's MIL), and they lived together for the last five or so years of my mom's life, and they got along well - at least in part because my sister worked nights and slept days . My sister paid the mortgage because it was now her house, and my as independent as possible mom paid the utilities.

I know several posters, including the mortgage officer, are recommending a reverse mortgage, but if that's not what your mother in law wants, then it's the wrong move for her. One thing you mentioned is she wants the house to go to her kids. If you and your husband buy it, she understands that the house is yours to do with as you choose after her death, right? If you choose to share it three or four ways - ideally in exchange for equal shares of money - fine, but she realizes you're more likely to retain full ownership, and she's okay with that?

 

[LanaJae]

I like Sadie22's idea, but maybe add that some of the siblings contribute to her monthly income and that amount of money be reimbursed first in the estate.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Thanks again. Katieelder my MIL is well aware that the house will be ours. She would have liked it to be shared equally but she was not expecting her life to turn out like it has. She would rather the home go to at least 1 child than selling it to a stranger. And to sadie22 and lanajane...although the BIL is the biggest problem the other siblings aren't exactly caring. In fact the whole family is not the Brady's and I don't think they would be proactive in doing what is best. Sure they would come into it if BIL was already taking advantage but not until then. She wants DH to buy the house and she will live in it. DH will do all the remodeling and she will get to see how the house should have turned out years ago.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I like Sadie22's idea, but maybe add that some of the siblings contribute to her monthly income and that amount of money be reimbursed first in the estate.

The family is not like this. There is no way the siblings would give her any money. BIL35 still takes money from her wallet when she isn't looking (yes he has a job).

 

[Sadie22]

My advice is to make an appointment with an elder law attorney with MIL regardless of how many children attend. There may be other things he/she will discuss with you that you have not thought of, and taking these things into account from the get-go can avoid lots of problems down the road. It sounds like you and your DH have MIL's best interests at heart and will be shouldering the major portion of her future care. Talk with the attorney about powers of attorney, health care directives, and deeding the house now so that should MIL become incapacitated you can take the best care of her, including applying for Medicaid should that be warranted.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The family is not like this. There is no way the siblings would give her any money. BIL35 still takes money from her wallet when she isn't looking (yes he has a job).

BUY HER HOUSE AND CHANGE THE LOCKS!!!!! This will (a) resolve the problem of her housing and (b) ideally keep your BIL out.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

BUY HER HOUSE AND CHANGE THE LOCKS!!!!! This will (a) resolve the problem of her housing and (b) ideally keep your BIL out.

BIL has lived with her off and on since he was 18...he moves in trashes her house and threatens her with violence when she balks. He even stole the DVD player we bought her for Christmas. She is afraid of him but she never does anything about it. My DH never finds out until weeks later. If DH owned the house she could have him take care of it. I should alos point out that my MIL is not old. She is only 59. She has some problems and made bad choices but she is not ready for a nursing home (even though BIl would like to put her in one)

 

[LanaJae]

This is really awful about the BIL! I don't have any advice, just want to say that she is very lucky to have you and I hope it all works out. I'm sure if you use an elder lawyer, everything will, but that won't stop him from making a mess of her life and yours.

If it were me, I think I would want to move her somewhere secure from her son and sell the house. I don't know, it's just sad that people can be so rotten.

 

[Tiggerish]

I think you might not want the reverse mortgage because it appears your BIL might end up getting all the money from your MIL. For example he could persuade her to draw big chuck of the available reverse mortgage money out and "loan" it to him and then she would have lost her equity and the ability to have a stream of income.