LOL - when I first read the OP question, my first thought was a Maglite flashlight!
Other thoughts - fuzzy, soft blanket/throw, a first aid kit
My grandmother always brought "useful" items for white elephant gifts - tide, toilet paper, paper towels, etc. (We all thought it was weird, but the ladies always fought over the Tide. My mother said it was at least something she could use.)
Oh, Bed, Bath and Beyond had an all purpose cutter-screwdriver-thing. I gave these two years ago to the men in the family and they are readily used....by their wives.