Nine Year old rides NYC Subway/Bus Alone!

[AmberDaClown]

This writer for the NY Sun makes some interesting points in her essay.

http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

Anyway, for weeks my boy had been begging for me to please leave him somewhere, anywhere, and let him try to figure out how to get home on his own. So on that sunny Sunday I gave him a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters, just in case he had to make a call.

No, I did not give him a cell phone. Didn’t want to lose it. And no, I didn’t trail him, like a mommy private eye. I trusted him to figure out that he should take the Lexington Avenue subway down, and the 34th Street crosstown bus home. If he couldn’t do that, I trusted him to ask a stranger. And then I even trusted that stranger not to think, “Gee, I was about to catch my train home, but now I think I’ll abduct this adorable child instead.”

Long story short: My son got home, ecstatic with independence.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Interesting . . .

 

[robertsmom]

This writer for the NY Sun makes some interesting points in her essay.

http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

I'm glad her son made it safely home. If she feels she made the right choice in doing this, more power to her. As for me, NO WAY NO HOW.

 

[poohandwendy]

KUDOS to the writer of this article!

I really agree with her final point on this issue:

The problem with this everything-is-dangerous outlook is that over-protectiveness is a danger in and of itself. A child who thinks he can’t do anything on his own eventually can’t.

She is right. Prepare your child for the path because the path isn't going to bend at the convenience of your child.

 

[ShesAPirate]

I don't have kids, so I honestly don't know what I'd do. BUT as someone who grew up in New York, I wasn't much older when I was taking the train on Staten Island, the subway in Manhattan, and the Staten Island Ferry by myself. I also used to walk to and from grammar school by myself.

When I'm in the city on weekdays, I always see kids with their backpacks, coming and going from school, all alone... and they seem fine. I, too, was fine. I don't think it's that big of a deal, really. The mother made some very good points in the article I read. I honestly don't think crime is any worse now than it was when I was a kid (in New York, I think it's safer than it's ever been); it's just that the media is soooo all over the place, and we have so many more places to read/hear/see "news" that we hear about absolutely everything that ever happens - which increases people's fear.

 

[allison443]

Someone posted a thread about this article a few days ago. If the author felt her kid was ready, that's great. My point was she stated she gave him a couple of quarters in case he had to make a call...good luck finding a working payphone when you need to make that call! Also she didn't give him a cell phone because she didn't want the phone to get lost. If she trusts him to take public transportation, shouldn't she be able to trust him to hold onto a cell phone for that short period of time?

 

[TinkerbellMama]

If she trusts him to take public transportation, shouldn't she be able to trust him to hold onto a cell phone for that short period of time?

EXACTLY. There is a disconnect between those two issues, and I have a big problem with that. I would probably let a responsible 12-year-old do that...WITH cell phone...but never a 9-year-old and NEVER without means to contact someone immediately. That's just freakin' NUTS (and yes, I have lived in NYC and know the subway system well enough to make an informed judgment).

 

[EltonJohn]

I outright disagree with her, and really don't want to waste my time reading her excuses. I can also write an essay about how a 9 year old should be able to hike alone out in Yellowstone's backcountry, but that wouldn't make me a good parent.

 

[AmberDaClown]

I love this graphic showing diminishing child independence over four generations.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/playgraphicDM1406_736x800.jpg

 

[ShesAPirate]

I love this graphic showing diminishing child independence over four generations.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/playgraphicDM1406_736x800.jpg

The next generation on the graph would have to be something like, "Joe, age 8 - allowed to walk as far as the door of the room he and his parents are sitting in".

 

[NHdisneylover]

I love this graphic showing diminishing child independence over four generations.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/playgraphicDM1406_736x800.jpg

Oh I hadn't seen that before. Great graphic

 

[jodifla]

Oh I hadn't seen that before. Great graphic

That is a great graphic.

In our rush to protect children from harm, we also protect them from any great experiences.

No wonder children are so drawn to video games....it's the only adventure parents allow them to have any more!

 

[NHdisneylover]

That is a great graphic.

In our rush to protect children from harm, we also protect them from any great experiences.

No wonder children are so drawn to video games....it's the only adventure parents allow them to have any more!

Jodi--you and I are generally on opposite ends of the spectrum--how refreshing to find somehting we agre upon. I never thought about the video game connection. You just gave me some great ammo when I get accused of being a mean mom becasue my kids do not have a gaming system (they don't want one--I'd get them one for a holiday if they did--really).

 

[AmberDaClown]

I outright disagree with her, and really don't want to waste my time reading her excuses. I can also write an essay about how a 9 year old should be able to hike alone out in Yellowstone's backcountry, but that wouldn't make me a good parent.

I don't think she made the essay to prove or disprove her parenting ability, but to show that NYC is not made up of the boogeymen that the media would have us believe.

 

[EMom]

Also she didn't give him a cell phone because she didn't want the phone to get lost. If she trusts him to take public transportation, shouldn't she be able to trust him to hold onto a cell phone for that short period of time?

Sounds like she was more anxious about potentially losing a cell phone than potentially losing a child.

That must be one special cell phone.............

 

[Aidensmom]

I have a little trouble with the cell phone thing too, because pay phones aren't as readily available as they were when I was a child, but....

I walked a mile home from school in kindergarten. So did the other kids in my neighborhood. Most 9 year olds are capable of figuring out how to get home on the subway with the tools provided. We have become a culture of fear. I admit, I am suckered into it to, my child isn't allowed to do some of the things I was, and I had overprotective parents.

Kids DO need to learn independence, they need to have the confidence they can get by on their own. I dropped off my son at day camp one day this week (spring break) and the counselor was late. His boss, however, was there and said we could leave the children with her until he got there, she would make sure they got there. I was the only one willing to leave my child, and got all these horrible looks like I was a terrible mom. The reality was that I was leaving him sit in the care of an adult who was the supervisor of the adult I would have normally been leaving him in the care of, and he was no more than 10 feet outside the room where he would have normally been dropped off at.

 

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I'm not sure how I feel about a nine year old traveling alone in NYC. However, I do agree that our society is completely paranoid, especially when it comes to children.

 

[shortbun]

Sounds like she was more anxious about potentially losing a cell phone than potentially losing a child.

That must be one special cell phone.............

I totally agree AND as far as the graphic showing diminishing child independence... the world has changed a lot in other ways too. Exponential growth in population and crime to name two big ones. When I was a kid, NYC was VERY different than it is today. I want my child to have HIS life, not a repeat of mine nor will I take the 'it was good enough for me so it's good enough for him. We are a strong family. We eat dinner together. We turn the TV off. My son gets more independent every day. At age 18, he'll leave home for college and possibly never return to live here. He will be confident and secure in his abilities. There is more than one path to that end. Potato-Potahtoe.

 

[disykat]

I had lots of freedoms my kids haven't had, but I don't think that makes me overprotective. My kids weren't allowed to stay home alone at 9, so I wouldn't be letting them take subway alone at that age. I DID allow them to walk to the neighbors houses or down the street to see friends, etc.

I grew up in a place and time where I could go all over town as a kid knowing that if I had any trouble at any given time, I'd be a short run to the home of someone I knew who could help me - and there would probably be someone home to do so. My kids don't have that luxury, so their "safe community" they have to stick to until they're older is much smaller.

That said, my parents wouldn't have allowed me to go alone on a subway at 9in the 60's or 70's either. They would have prepared me with what to do if I got separated from them, but they never would have sent me off purposely. It's still the same for mine.

 

[salmoneous]

Many of my college friends road the subway and/or bus to school everyday in NYC. This was back in the 70's when crime was worse than today.

Let's face it - the risk of a suburban kid being killed in a car accident while mommy drives him to school is probably higher than the risk of being killed on the subway. Why is the subway - the less risky option - the "no way no how" option?