New Report on Adam Lanza

[Squirlz]

I have very intelligent friends who are convinced that this was a hoax. There are a lot of very unusual things about the story. I want to sit down with them and discuss rationally how such a thing could be possible, because frankly I wish it wasn't real.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I have very intelligent friends who are convinced that this was a hoax. There are a lot of very unusual things about the story. I want to sit down with them and discuss rationally how such a thing could be possible, because frankly I wish it wasn't real.

If they really believe that Sandy Hook was a hoax, I'm of the opinion that they can't be very intelligent.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I have very intelligent friends who are convinced that this was a hoax. There are a lot of very unusual things about the story. I want to sit down with them and discuss rationally how such a thing could be possible, because frankly I wish it wasn't real.

The idea that anyone could believe this was a hoax is absolutely sickening. Do you realize these conspiracy theories involve accusing the parents of these murdered children and adults of being actors? It's disrespectful to those that were murdered and the loved ones they left behind. The families of those people have to deal with an unimaginable loss. They don't need anyone questioning those losses.

 

[OurBigTrip]

There are a lot of very unusual things about the story.

Like what?

 

[disykat]

As an educator, the blame on the schools really bothers me. I'm not ALLOWED to suggest medical diagnoses to parents. I can only list facts and percentages about behavior, and can not speculate reasons or treatment. I can only address the behaviors I see.

In my classroom right now I have undiagnosed students that I am hinting to parents about. I'm guessing Diabetes, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. I've given enough specific information about the behaviors I'm seeing that all three parents have made medical appointments to ahve their children assessed. However, if they hadn't, I would have no recourse - certainly not as a classroom teacher. I would have to hope that the school psychologist and principal were willing to go further with the parents.

Parents are the ones in charge of their kids. Remember the uproar when schools have tried to get involved in weight management of students? Can you imagine if schools try to start diagnosing mental illnesses?

It's not as easy as saying the doctors and schools should have fixed this. Entire systems have to change.

This child should not have been isolated with only a crazy mom for support, but short of court orders I'm not sure it could have been stopped.

 

[Missy1961]

I have very intelligent friends who are convinced that this was a hoax. There are a lot of very unusual things about the story. I want to sit down with them and discuss rationally how such a thing could be possible, because frankly I wish it wasn't real.

Sorry, but to believe Sandy Hook was a hoax means those friends aren't intelligent. I'd step away from them myself.

 

[msjprincess]

If they really believe that Sandy Hook was a hoax, I'm of the opinion that they can't be very intelligent.

I agree

 

[Squirlz]

Like what?

Too much to list, it's easy to look up. Some stuff is as hare-brained as sunshinehighway wrote. Some are indisputable facts that just make you wonder.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

If they really believe that Sandy Hook was a hoax, I'm of the opinion that they can't be very intelligent.

Meh, I'm of the opinion it's not at all unusual to be intelligent & wackadoodle at the same time.

 

[Squirlz]

Meh, I'm of the opinion it's not at all unusual to be intelligent & wackadoodle at the same time.

I know. They're both automotive design engineers with multiple degrees. They are also both pretty right wing. I'd just like to hear them explain the logistics of the whole thing. 9/11 conspiracy theorists I can laugh off. But this one, with all the abnormalities, is intriguing.

 

[Disneychick75]

I read through most of the report.

I'm not sure if Mrs Lanza had a mental illness or not. I think she did become so isolated and convoluted in her desire to try and protect Adam Lanza that she became very dysfunctional and wrong in her behaviors.

Really at some point in time, whether it was forced by the school, the doctors, her ex-husband, or another family member - somebody needed to step into that situation and insist Adam remain under close medical care and probably Mrs Lanza also receive support because I think she became so micro-focused on trying to care for Adam, that she lost all sense of perspective on what actually was best for Adam.

The two of them together seemed to just isolate themselves and spiral into a catastrophic result. In many ways not only was Mrs Lanza enabling her son's dysfunction, he was also enabling hers to the point where they both lost any sense of normality. Not just in mental health and behavior - at the time of the incident Adam was quite physically deteriorated and ill. His physical condition was drastic enough that he met the definition of anorexic.

It is hard to feel sorry for him because of the way he came to all of our attention. But still as the report says, he was not psychotic or mentally altered in that he thought he needed to get his guns out and fight Satan or the Space aliens.

The whole event just seems so preventable. I feel angry at … just everybody around including his Father, Mother, Doctors, the school District....

I agree that Nancy might not have been mentally ill. She lived with Adam his entire life. While those on the outside and after the fact can easily see the dysfunction, for her it was normal.

Adam could have been taken away from Nancy and forced into an outside treatment facility. The er doctors or his family physician could have initiated this. A doctor could have issued an order for a mandatory mental hospital stay. These are good for 72 hours. Once there, a psychiatrist could have evaluated Adam. If that doctor decided Adam needed an extended stay, his mother would have had to go to court to try to get him out.

We can't forget that Adam had a father too. It's a shame that he was too busy with his own life to give a darn about his son.

Adam was failed all around from his parents, his schools, and his doctors.

 

[Val]

The elephant in the room, so to speak, is the stigma of mental illness. The mother was a person who seemed to care very much about what others thought of her and her family. Unlike cancer, many people judge mental illness is a disease that is "bad" and that you "choose to get" or shows a weakness on the part of the individual or the parents. As long as she avoided Adam being diagnosed and treated, she could avoid the social stigma.

We see this issue over and over and over again. When you get cancer, people line up to bring your family meals, send you flowers and start a fund raising campaign. When you get diagnosed with a mental illness people gossip about you, make snarky remarks and avoid you.....no flowers, no meals, no fundraisers. Too often, families hit with mental illness DO go it alone because everyone else is too afraid, too PC, too ashamed, too uninformed...too....well, you get the picture.

Yes, the mother was at fault for not seeking treatment for her son, but it took the rest of her "village" to reinforce her delusions because no one else wanted to deal with Adam, either. It was easier for the Dad to walk away, for the neighbors to look the other way, for the school to wash their hands rather than fight mom.....because dealing with mental illness stinks and no one wants to get involved.

IF we want to prevent another incident we must make mental illness just as "real" and important as cancer, diabetes, or any other disease. We must educate, work on prevention, and take action (we don't let blind people drive vehicles; perhaps people with certain types of diagnosed illnesses should not be allowed to possess or use a gun). And it has to start with each and every one of us. Do you know someone with a family member with mental illness? When was the last time you offered them a kind word, reinforced them for trying to help their loved one, or took over a meal or mowed their lawn? Perhaps today is a day you could take action.....who knows what a kind word might do. Perhaps it would prevent the next "Adam Lanza" from acting out.

 

[Laura66]

The elephant in the room, so to speak, is the stigma of mental illness. The mother was a person who seemed to care very much about what others thought of her and her family. Unlike cancer, many people judge mental illness is a disease that is "bad" and that you "choose to get" or shows a weakness on the part of the individual or the parents. As long as she avoided Adam being diagnosed and treated, she could avoid the social stigma.

We see this issue over and over and over again. When you get cancer, people line up to bring your family meals, send you flowers and start a fund raising campaign. When you get diagnosed with a mental illness people gossip about you, make snarky remarks and avoid you.....no flowers, no meals, no fundraisers. Too often, families hit with mental illness DO go it alone because everyone else is too afraid, too PC, too ashamed, too uninformed...too....well, you get the picture.

Yes, the mother was at fault for not seeking treatment for her son, but it took the rest of her "village" to reinforce her delusions because no one else wanted to deal with Adam, either. It was easier for the Dad to walk away, for the neighbors to look the other way, for the school to wash their hands rather than fight mom.....because dealing with mental illness stinks and no one wants to get involved.

IF we want to prevent another incident we must make mental illness just as "real" and important as cancer, diabetes, or any other disease. We must educate, work on prevention, and take action (we don't let blind people drive vehicles; perhaps people with certain types of diagnosed illnesses should not be allowed to possess or use a gun). And it has to start with each and every one of us. Do you know someone with a family member with mental illness? When was the last time you offered them a kind word, reinforced them for trying to help their loved one, or took over a meal or mowed their lawn? Perhaps today is a day you could take action.....who knows what a kind word might do. Perhaps it would prevent the next "Adam Lanza" from acting out.

Best post on this thread!

 

[princesspiglet]

I have very intelligent friends who are convinced that this was a hoax. There are a lot of very unusual things about the story. I want to sit down with them and discuss rationally how such a thing could be possible, because frankly I wish it wasn't real.

I can assure you this was not a hoax. One of my college roommates is the mother of one of the children that was killed. I have experienced her grief and pain firsthand and I was at the funeral of her son...who had an open casket. I've seen the school, I've talked to the other parents. Believe me, it's as real as it can be.

And the fact that anyone could possibly even think that this was a hoax...it just boils my blood.

 

[OurBigTrip]

Too much to list, it's easy to look up. Some stuff is as hare-brained as sunshinehighway wrote. Some are indisputable facts that just make you wonder.

Nope, not going to do that. You've made the claim, you back it up.

 

[OurBigTrip]

We can't forget that Adam had a father too. It's a shame that he was too busy with his own life to give a darn about his son.

Absolutely false. His father continued to reach out to him, and Adam wanted nothing to do with him.

 

[OurBigTrip]

I can assure you this was not a hoax. One of my college roommates is the mother of one of the children that was killed. I have experienced her grief and pain firsthand and I was at the funeral of her son...who had an open casket. I've seen the school, I've talked to the other parents. Believe me, it's as real as it can be.

And the fact that anyone could possibly even think that this was a hoax...it just boils my blood.

It's appalling.

 

[marmalade]

I can assure you this was not a hoax. One of my college roommates is the mother of one of the children that was killed. I have experienced her grief and pain firsthand and I was at the funeral of her son...who had an open casket. I've seen the school, I've talked to the other parents. Believe me, it's as real as it can be.

And the fact that anyone could possibly even think that this was a hoax...it just boils my blood.

I can't even fathom that people think this was a hoax. I remember a while back one of the playgrounds dedicated to one of the victims was vandalized. The guys reasoning was because he claimed the child never existed?!? Not only do those parents/friends/families have to deal with this tragedy, but they have to deal with people saying that the victims never even existed? Repulsive!!

 

[robinb]

I can assure you this was not a hoax. One of my college roommates is the mother of one of the children that was killed. I have experienced her grief and pain firsthand and I was at the funeral of her son...who had an open casket. I've seen the school, I've talked to the other parents. Believe me, it's as real as it can be.

{{hugs}} I can not even begin to imagine.

And the fact that anyone could possibly even think that this was a hoax...it just boils my blood.

What really makes my blood boil is that Nancy Lanza knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Adam was severely mentally ill and she still allowed him access to her guns. Who in their right mind does that?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

{{hugs}} I can not even begin to imagine.


What really makes my blood boil is that Nancy Lanza knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Adam was severely mentally ill and she still allowed him access to her guns. Who in their right mind does that?

Which of course causes us again to question Nancy's frame of mind. At best, she was in severe denial.