Neighbor - oblivious or just a jerk? rant

[TipsyTraveler]

I need some clarification. Was the guy mowing his lawn or operating a thresher and baler in a suburban yard full of mooing cows, coyotes, roosters, and goats? Because the answer is going to affect my opinion.

 

[georgina]

I think neighbors are jerks when they leave their dog barking and barking and barking. I rather have kids playing and a neighbor keeping their yard up than a constant dog barking. It really surprises me that a lot of people let their dogs bark constantly.

Yep, we had neighbors who tied their dog up outside most of the time and it barked and barked! They went away for a week on vacation and left it outside. A friend came to feed it once a day. It was lonely and barking. We called the police on that one and they said there is nothing they can do since our township does not have a noise ordinance. I was so happy when those neighbors moved!

 

[nkereina]

Didn't get a chance to read all the replies but wanted to chime in with my own experience. My parents' next door neighbor is also retired, and consistently mows his lawn at 5pm on Saturdays. This would also be the time my parents are sitting on their deck, trying to relax and cook out. With their neighbor, we are confident it's oblivion based on some of the other things he says and does. He's "out there", if you know what I mean.

Your situation very well could be out of spite. I would NOT heed the advice I've seen here of apologizing to him for the noise. I would act like you don't notice or it doesn't bother you. Hopefully he'll stop eventually. I think everyone has that one neighbor that just irks you. Good luck!

 

[Tink2Day]

I need some clarification. Was the guy mowing his lawn or operating a thresher and baler in a suburban yard full of mooing cows, coyotes, roosters, and goats? Because the answer is going to affect my opinion.

LOL.
However my response was to the person who said if 'you want quiet move to the country'. Explaining that, as one who lives there, it's just not that quiet. Got it now?

 

[Tink2Day]

How long would that be? I just got back from a weekend camporee with Girl Scouts and they made it all three days without that happening; if they were awake; they were loud and having to be reminded constantly that we were not the only people at the campground (and not misbehaving at all--they just get excited talking and don't even realize).

Being loud and 'screeching' are two different things.
Maybe it's just me but the sound of children enjoying life at a once in a while party is far preferable to the obnoxious roar of a lawnmower, trimmer etc. Most noise ordinances address that, loud music and not so much 'screeching' pre teen girls.

I figure this neighbor is like the one who called the cops at 10pm to break up a graduation party in my youth. No drugs, no alcohol (guaranteed) and a record player playing. This was a one time party by a family who rarely if ever threw parties. But the neighborhood grouch tried to ruin the party. The cops just said to try and end it by 12.

Also payback is a witch. Said reporting neighbor got reported himself when he got into a 'domestic disturbance' and threatened his wife with a gun. The screaming and yelling reached ear shattering decibels beyond screeching girls or non inebriated/non impaired teenagers and the 20+ parents who accompanied them to the party (from all reports). I don't think the cops told him to wrap it up by midnight

I'm not saying the neighbor had an agenda, not saying he didn't. But based on the state of humanity (and lack thereof) in this era? It's pretty likely he did it intentionally. Jus my opinion of course.

 

[morgan98]

Didn't get a chance to read all the replies but wanted to chime in with my own experience. My parents' next door neighbor is also retired, and consistently mows his lawn at 5pm on Saturdays. This would also be the time my parents are sitting on their deck, trying to relax and cook out. With their neighbor, we are confident it's oblivion based on some of the other things he says and does. He's "out there", if you know what I mean.

Your situation very well could be out of spite. I would NOT heed the advice I've seen here of apologizing to him for the noise. I would act like you don't notice or it doesn't bother you. Hopefully he'll stop eventually. I think everyone has that one neighbor that just irks you. Good luck!

Again, not being argumentative, but I don't see anything wrong with mowing at 5pm on a Saturday, either. That is hardly late. As a matter of fact, that is a good time to mow, take a quick shower and then have dinner (at least that is what my husband thinks and several others in our neighborhood too).

Believe me, we are not rude people at all and we are actually very quiet (somewhat introverted, no kids). However, I do not understand these expectations people have for silence in their yards during daytime hours.

 

[nkereina]

Again, not being argumentative, but I don't see anything wrong with mowing at 5pm on a Saturday, either. That is hardly late. As a matter of fact, that is a good time to mow, take a quick shower and then have dinner (at least that is what my husband thinks and several others in our neighborhood too).

Believe me, we are not rude people at all and we are actually very quiet (somewhat introverted, no kids). However, I do not understand these expectations people have for silence in their yards during daytime hours.

Sorry, I think you missed the point. As mentioned in my post, my parents' neighbor who chooses to mow at 5pm on Saturdays is retired. He has literally all day every day to mow the yard, yet chooses to do it at 5pm on a Saturday which is prime time for any working person who wants to entertain company or simply relax in their yard. We scramble to do our yard work during the week or early on in the day so we can get this time to relax. Out of simple respect for the neighborhood, he would do the same. Of course it's not late and he's not doing anything wrong, so we're certainly not in a position to say anything to him about it. I don't have an "expectation" of silence during daytime hours but I do have an expectation of common sense, common decency, common courtesy, and neighborly respect.

In the case of my parents' neighbor, he's just an airhead and doesn't even realize it. In the case of most other people, including OP's neighbor, I'd suspect it's out of spite. Either way, OP and us are not in a position to say anything about it.

 

[jdb in AZ]

As long as our neighbors don't wake us up mowing their lawns, I really don't care what time they mow. Most people do mow relatively early because it's just hot and miserable later.

A lot of our neighbors have pools and the noise really doesn't bother us. Yapping neurotic dogs barking, yeah, that bugs me.

If the neighbor kids throw rocks over the fence at our dog (then deny it even tho I've seen them) yeah, that bugs me. Our next-door neighbor is an A/C repairman and he has lots of spare parts in his side front yard. Yeah, that bugs me, but they're renters while the landlord is pursuing another graduate degree, so hopefully, the renters won't be there forever. Other neighbors have let their weeds grow sky high, but the City sends them a notice on that. I'd rather listen to the lawn mower than see overgrown weeds.

 

[morgan98]

Sorry, I think you missed the point. As mentioned in my post, my parents' neighbor who chooses to mow at 5pm on Saturdays is retired. He has literally all day every day to mow the yard, yet chooses to do it at 5pm on a Saturday which is prime time for any working person who wants to entertain company or simply relax in their yard. We scramble to do our yard work during the week or early on in the day so we can get this time to relax. Out of simple respect for the neighborhood, he would do the same. Of course it's not late and he's not doing anything wrong, so we're certainly not in a position to say anything to him about it. I don't have an "expectation" of silence during daytime hours but I do have an expectation of common sense, common decency, common courtesy, and neighborly respect.

In the case of my parents' neighbor, he's just an airhead and doesn't even realize it. In the case of most other people, including OP's neighbor, I'd suspect it's out of spite. Either way, OP and us are not in a position to say anything about it.

Again, I think deciding when people should mow is presumptuous. Do you know his schedule? He may be retired, but that may be when he likes to do yard work. We work long hours during the week and I still contend to expect someone to not do yard work after 5pm on Saturday is over the top. Around here, we invite people for dinner, etc at 7pm. I think 5pm is early. So because a neighbor mows at 5pm on Saturday they lack common decency or respect?

 

[dokey]

I always give people the benefit of the doubt and say oblivious.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think it is unreasonable to expect him to schedule his yard work when it is convenient for you.

This.

No way to know why he chooses these times, but you saying he is retired and can do it anytime is unfair for him.

I guess if it bothers you so much, you can touch base and let him know when you will have the party. Because, to be fair--while you may think he could plan to mow his lawn at any time, how would he know when to do so if you fail to give him that information. Come 2:00, he is ready to mow as planned and he is supposed to not because he is supposed to know your gathering is a party? That isn't fair.

I live in Florida and mowing can be done most any time. Be it the lawn service or the retired old man doing his own lawn. Part of life.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My mower is in my shed in the corner of my yard and the gas can is behind the shed. I can fill and start mowing in a minute or two with no problem.

But can a retired man with hip problems that led to retirement do the same?

Takes my husband a good 10 minutes to prep.

 

[Bluestars]

If I were you, I would go over to his house the next time you plan a pool party and let him know that you would like to schedule it around his yard work. I wouldn't expect anybody to change their schedule because of my plans, but I think it's reasonable to make my schedule around someone else's plans if it mattered to me.

 

[morgan98]

If I were you, I would go over to his house the next time you plan a pool party and let him know that you would like to schedule it around his yard work. I wouldn't expect anybody to change their schedule because of my plans, but I think it's reasonable to make my schedule around someone else's plans if it mattered to me.

In theory, this is fine. But most people I know really don't plan days in advance as to when they are going to mow. People have to work later than expected, it can rain, there is a family emergency. If you can use your yard during daylight hours, so can a neighbor use theirs. Again, we are talking a lawn mower here, not jack hammers or chain saws. I do not have to commit to a time I am going to mow.

I am so glad my neighborhood is not so demanding. I mean right now, my neighbors are having a large 4th of July get together with 50 kids and fireworks. I am not going to go out there and tell them they are too noisy ad they are not going to come and tell me I can't mow during the afternoon.

ETA: I am not a jerky neighbor at all. I just cannot imagine micro managing a neighbors schedule like is being suggested here.

 

[dollarmite]

Sorry, I think you missed the point. As mentioned in my post, my parents' neighbor who chooses to mow at 5pm on Saturdays is retired. He has literally all day every day to mow the yard, yet chooses to do it at 5pm on a Saturday which is prime time for any working person who wants to entertain company or simply relax in their yard. We scramble to do our yard work during the week or early on in the day so we can get this time to relax. Out of simple respect for the neighborhood, he would do the same. Of course it's not late and he's not doing anything wrong, so we're certainly not in a position to say anything to him about it. I don't have an "expectation" of silence during daytime hours but I do have an expectation of common sense, common decency, common courtesy, and neighborly respect.

In the case of my parents' neighbor, he's just an airhead and doesn't even realize it. In the case of most other people, including OP's neighbor, I'd suspect it's out of spite. Either way, OP and us are not in a position to say anything about it.

I guess I'm doing it all wrong then, because most people I know like to entertain during the daytime, or later than 5pm. How do you know your mowing early in the day isn't interfering with people who like to entertain at those times?

There's no right or wrong time to mow a lawn outside of ordinance hours, or during a time most people would be sleeping. A lot of people I know tend to mow at about 4-5pm as it's generally cooler, and they can relax afterwards.

The neighbour in this case isn't doing anything wrong by mowing at 1pm and/or whilst there's a party going on next door.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Again, I think deciding when people should mow is presumptuous. Do you know his schedule? He may be retired, but that may be when he likes to do yard work. We work long hours during the week and I still contend to expect someone to not do yard work after 5pm on Saturday is over the top. Around here, we invite people for dinner, etc at 7pm. I think 5pm is early. So because a neighbor mows at 5pm on Saturday they lack common decency or respect?

Boy it seems like no time is the right time to mow. Mow too early and you wake up people that sleep in on the weekends or night shift sleepers, mow in the early afternoon and then you're waking up napping babies and disturbing pool parties, mow at 5 pm and then you're disturbing people that want to entertain and relax. The choices are to never do yard work or do it whenever the hell you want because you certainly cab't please everybody. I go with whenever the hell you want.

 

[nkereina]

Again, I think deciding when people should mow is presumptuous. Do you know his schedule? He may be retired, but that may be when he likes to do yard work. We work long hours during the week and I still contend to expect someone to not do yard work after 5pm on Saturday is over the top. Around here, we invite people for dinner, etc at 7pm. I think 5pm is early. So because a neighbor mows at 5pm on Saturday they lack common decency or respect?

I've already stated that it's not we expect him to do or not do anything. I've already stated he's not doing anything wrong. He's the type of neighbor we talk with frequently and have lived next door to for 35 years. We are both well aware of each other's schedules, not only because we see it but because we talk about it too. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would try most times NOT to mow the lawn when my neighbors were cooking out and relaxing. Sure it's inevitable sometimes, and that's fine, but every Saturday is irritating and I'm not sorry about that.

I guess I'm doing it all wrong then, because most people I know like to entertain during the daytime, or later than 5pm. How do you know your mowing early in the day isn't interfering with people who like to entertain at those times?

There's no right or wrong time to mow a lawn outside of ordinance hours, or during a time most people would be sleeping. A lot of people I know tend to mow at about 4-5pm as it's generally cooler, and they can relax afterwards.

The neighbour in this case isn't doing anything wrong by mowing at 1pm and/or whilst there's a party going on next door.

Again, I never said he was doing anything wrong. Oddly, most people I know prefer to get their yard work done during the morning and get cleaned up so they can relax in the afternoon. And most people I know entertain for a happy hour or dinner which tends to be around 5pm here in Buffalo. Maybe it's different where you live and that's ok. But I'll say it again because a few seem to be missing it - I never said thr neighbor was doing anything wrong. He's not and that's why we won't say anything about it. And that's why I've advised OP not to say anything either. It's simply that some neighbors are not aware of their surroundings and are inadvertently rude or bothersome to others. I make a concerted effort to be mindful of my neighbors, so it's frustrating when it's not reciprocated.

 

[nkereina]

Boy it seems like no time is the right time to mow. Mow too early and you wake up people that sleep in on the weekends or night shift sleepers, mow in the early afternoon and then you're waking up napping babies and disturbing pool parties, mow at 5 pm and then you're disturbing people that want to entertain and relax. The choices are to never do yard work or do it whenever the hell you want because you certainly cab't please everybody. I go with whenever the hell you want.

But if you're friendly with your neighbors and you know their schedule, wouldn't you want to be mindful of that? If you know your neighbor is nurse and works the night shift, are you going to power up the mower at 8am when you know she's probably just getting to bed? I wouldn't. I know my neighbors well enough to know what I have to do to stay out of everyone's hair and have a pleasant street. A little goes a long way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry, I think you missed the point. As mentioned in my post, my parents' neighbor who chooses to mow at 5pm on Saturdays is retired. He has literally all day every day to mow the yard, yet chooses to do it at 5pm on a Saturday which is prime time for any working person who wants to entertain company or simply relax in their yard. We scramble to do our yard work during the week or early on in the day so we can get this time to relax. Out of simple respect for the neighborhood, he would do the same. Of course it's not late and he's not doing anything wrong, so we're certainly not in a position to say anything to him about it. I don't have an "expectation" of silence during daytime hours but I do have an expectation of common sense, common decency, common courtesy, and neighborly respect.

In the case of my parents' neighbor, he's just an airhead and doesn't even realize it. In the case of most other people, including OP's neighbor, I'd suspect it's out of spite. Either way, OP and us are not in a position to say anything about it.

How do you know he "literally" has "all day"? Did he tell you or is that your parents' determination? If the latter, they literally know nothing.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Maybe I am the odd duck here but I just think of the lawn mower as one of the sounds of summer. It's backround noise. Just like kids splashing in a pool or playing a loud game outside. I actually enjoy listening to it all. It make me feel happy that the weather is nice. It's not like anyone is mowing with a nasa rocket. A regular mower is not that loud unless you are the person mowing.
As for entertaining at 5? We entertain at all different times of day. So we do not expect anyone to even consider us when they are mowing etc. I didn't even know people got upset about that stuff until I read it here.