Need some help, and need it BAD...

[Jon99]

I have a wedding in on 7/7 which I am the best man.. I am SCARED TO DEATH of giving a toast/speech.. Any suggestions??? Would it be wrong to ask if they can skip over that part???

 

[tevagirl]

Xanax.

 

[lovemygoofy]

The most important thing is not to be drunk and be sincere. It doesn't have to be a long speech at all. If you have a quick favorite story about you and the couple together, tell that and if not just tell them best wishes and raise your glass to a long, happy life.

 

[java]

Drink heavily! And just speak from the heart. And when in doubt a simple "I love you guys" always works.

edit to add I guess Tina and I are different ends of the spectrum on toasting! lol

 

[Jon99]

Miller Lite might have to do the trick...

My wife says to make up a story about the groom thats not true, everyone will be thinking "what a great guy", he will be thinking "what in the hell is he talking about"...

 

[C.Ann]

Yeah - it probably would be wrong to ask them to skip over that part - but there is nothing that says it has to be a long speech/toast..

You could say something as simple as, "Let's all raise our glasses in a toast to Mary and Bob.." - then turn and look directly at them and say - "May you have a life filled with love, happiness, and all of the good things that your life together can possibly offer.."

Done!

 

[aynt79]

Start with funny self-deprecating comment about how you're not good at these types of things, then go with a standard "you guys are perfect for each other"and/or "best of luck/happiness/many happy years together".

Or start off by saying how you're going to save the other guests from any long, drawn out speeches, then just say something like "Congratulations" or some other short and to the point phrase. I like this quote from a website I found: "I'm told that the best speech makers follow three simple rules. Stand Up. Speak Up. Then, very quickly, Shut Up. I'll try to stick to that advice."

You don't need to do anything too fancy, for the most part the other guests don't want to hear any long stories or inside jokes.

 

[solgent]

I do a lot of public speaking. Here is my advice:

First, think through what exactly you are scared of. People ignoring you? People criticizing? People looking at you?

Then try to come up with a reasonable response. For example, if you're worried about being the center of attention, your response might be "Bride and Groom are really the center of attention today. People will look at me for a moment but it will be over soon and today is really all about them." Whenever you have the fear emotion, just tell yourself the reasonable response. Write it down if you want.

Also try to think of something calming, like being at the beach or feeling your pet's fur or whatever it might be. When you begin getting nervous, tell yourself the reasonable response and think of the calming image.

Whatever the fear is, you will not be able to eliminate it in such a short time, but you can function despite it, because you don't have a choice. Your buddy is counting on you to do your part.

I recommend keeping it simple. Short and sweet. You can also choose to begin by saying, "I am really nervous about speaking." People will understand and encourage you.

I can also tell you that once you are in the spotlight, some kind of energy kicks in and I predict you will get through it much more easily than you anticipate.

 

[LadyZolt]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're good friends with the groom. If so, start with your friendship and how much it means to you, then say something about how good the bride has been for the groom, then comment on how both the groom and bride's family and friends are all delighted to share this happy moment with them, then close with how you wish them prosperity, health and many years of happiness together. If you or they are religious, add something like "God bless" or whatever is appropriate for the religion. Since the wedding is on 7/7/7, perhaps a humorous comment like, "This must be our lucky day" would be appropriate if you have the kind of people who would appreciate a bit of humor. Or even "(Groom's name), you know that (bride's name) chose today so you'd never forget your wedding anniversary." (I remember people who got married on 8/8/88 just for that reason -- so he would never forget their wedding date. LOL!)

It doesn't have to be long, but try for "heartfelt and sincere." If you jot some notes down and work through it a dozen times in the next week, you should be fine! No worries! Have fun!

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[lovemygoofy]

Drink heavily! And just speak from the heart. And when in doubt a simple "I love you guys" always works.

edit to add I guess Tina and I are different ends of the spectrum on toasting! lol

All the drunk people I know can talk and talk and talk lol but whatever works

 

[Erin1700]

When nervous in front of a group of people, picture them all in their underwear...another great tip learned from the brady bunch!

 

[Cass]

Get a friend (who also knows the couple) to sit down with you and work on a speech. Practice it, be prepared and your nervousness will evaporate.

You should also rent 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' to get some ideas

 

[disneymom3]

My two favorite toasts were given at my wedding and my nephews. Given at mine was "May your marriage be modern enough to keep up with the times and old fashioned enough to last forever." My nephews was given by his brother, his best man "My brother has given me a glimpse of God's love. The Bible says Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother and if that is the case I am very blessed. Thank you so much .....(bride) for coming into Groom's life and making it even better!"

 

[Mouse House Mama]

No help here. See my thread on my Dsis's wedding. I am not going to be public speaking for a while.

 

[RUDisney]

"While this is not an Olympic year, I'd like to have this wonderful couple start their marriage in similar way: (glass raised) Let the games begin!"

I heard this speech 15 years ago at my best friend's wedding. I still remember that line from her BM's toast.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Since the wedding is on 7/7/7, perhaps a humorous comment like, "This must be our lucky day" would be appropriate if you have the kind of people who would appreciate a bit of humor. Or even "(Groom's name), you know that (bride's name) chose today so you'd never forget your wedding anniversary." (I remember people who got married on 8/8/88 just for that reason -- so he would never forget their wedding date. LOL!)

Depending on the family/guests, you could even say something about all the sevens coming up and the groom hitting the jackpot when he found the bride.

Whatever you decide to say, make sure you're prepared and practiced. But at the same time, try not to get too hung up on an exact wording (other than a few key phrases). It really doesn't matter if you say "I've known Bob for 15 years", or "Bob and I have known each other for 15 years", so whichever phrase starts to come out of your mouth naturally... let it.

I think solgent gave some good advice, and I get that energy that kicks in once I'm speaking, too. I can be terrified beforehand, but actually giving the speech is never as bad as the anticipation.

Good luck!

 

[laurajetter]

I agree, it's okay to keep it relatively short.

I only skimmed people's responses so I don't know if this was mentioned. Since you are so nervous and wouldn't want to be caught like a deer in headlights if you completely forget what you were going to say, I think it would be fine to have an index card with you. Of course, it always comes across better when you can talk naturally and not have to read something, but you would at least have something to save you should you freeze.

Even if you put down a few keys points to mention (i.e. funny prank during high school, felt like brothers growing up, bride and groom perfect together, best wishes for lifetime of happiness, etc.), then you will have something to jog your memory.

My DH had a toast written out for his brother's wedding, it was a page long. He's not the nervous type so he kind of used it as a guide, reading some parts but also ad libbing parts here and there. I think it's fine if you bring something to help you along, just try not to completely rely on reading it word for word. You can prevent the temptation to read it word for word by only writing short phrases as reminders.

Also, what I've noticed is that the guests like to laugh; they love hearing humerous stories of something funny that happened to the groom, or some funny quip about when he was a kid. For example, DH in his speech to his brother mentioned they had a lot of fun memories growing up: Saturday morning cartoons, getting back out of bed after their parents were asleep, and throwing darts at each other in the basement!

If you can think of 1 or 2 funny memories to mention, you'll get the people laughing and then you can start to bring it to a close.

Good luck!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I think it would be fine to have an index card with you. Of course, it always comes across better when you can talk naturally and not have to read something, but you would at least have something to save you should you freeze.

Even if you put down a few keys points to mention (i.e. funny prank during high school, felt like brothers growing up, bride and groom perfect together, best wishes for lifetime of happiness, etc.), then you will have something to jog your memory.

I forgot, I was going to mention this, too. I've seen best men use index cards, and think they're fine.