What are decried beans?I'd do a taco bar. With decried beans for the vegetarian and then your dd could avoid cheese. Always a hit for my dd and friends. Soft tortillas, crunchy shells, ground beef, decried beans( we melt ours with shredded cheddar in the microwave), shredded lettuce and cheese, salsa, tomatoes.
Taco or burrito bar sounds good if it has veggie options.
I really like the combo of a salad bar type deal (big trough of lettuces with smaller bowls of add ons and toppings and a pile of paper bowls) combined with a meat platter and cheese platter (separate, not meat and cheese layered together!) and maybe a bowl of tuna or egg salad and a big basket of breads and rolls (and a tub of butter, thing of pb and of jam) though.
Kids could make sandwiches (and use the salad bar stuff to go on them) and/or salads as they pleased, or have just a salad with a buttered roll or a pbj - it's more versatile, lots of options and not expensive really.
For dessert, could make up a big thing of brownies and get a bunch of ice cream or look for a sale on boxes of ice cream cones/sandwiches/fruit popsicles [real fruit ones] and just load up a few boxes, open them and let the kids know they're in the freezer, no muss, no fuss, single servings, already wrapped and all, covers most of your options. Also have some fresh fruit in a bowl.