Need help! How do I throw a surprise party for a person planning their own party?

[tazdev3225]

Hopefully I can get some creative ideas to help me with a problem. My parents will be married 60, yes SIXTY, years in October. A monumental occasion for anyone. They have also had a really rough year since their last anniversary with my dad's health, he has cancer and had a really bad fall with multiple fractures.

I have been planning a surprise party for the past several weeks. Yes I know it is in October and this is May but I am going all out with music to mark the years and pictures, etc.

I found out today that my mom has had to much time on her hands and is planning to give a party herself since she just KNOWS we will NOT remember!!!

I need some ideas on how to throw her off so I don't have to tell her about the party my brothers and I are planning. My mom is a take charge, only I can do it person that swears we forget occasions.

Any ideas????

 

[bjscheel]

Hmmm, I would consider making your party not a surprise- tell her now, and work on it together (or get input from her but let some of your plans still be a surprise to them). It will give them something to look forward to and prepare for.

 

[kimblebee]

Tell her you are planning something small, but tell her a different day then when it actually will be. . That way, she will stop planning hers and will still be surprised with how much effort you are putting into yours.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I agree with PP just tell them up front you and your siblings are planning it.

 

[cabanafrau]

Yep, the opportunity to throw a surprise party isn't possible under these circumstances. Take a step back, realize it's not about achieving some ideal you have in mind and tell them now. Possibly discuss anything they would really like included in the occasion and tell them you all have had something in the works for some time now and that you would really like the opportunity to surprise them with the event on the day.

 

[FINFAN]

yes, tell them, and if they have a special guests they REALLY hope can come, reach out to them first, ask them to play along with saying they cannot attend...and then have them surprise your parents by actually being there.

 

[mjkacmom]

Please tell them. A friend of mine had the same issue, and they kept the surprise. Both parties were within a week of each other, and many guests had to travel twice. The surprise party was second, and I'm sure the couple felt a little awkward.

My friend was a guest to both, not the party thrower.

 

[LBIJim]

Ask my brother's mother-in-law. She organized and threw her own "surprise" 60th birthday party.

 

[tazdev3225]

Thanks everyone. I was leaning towards telling them I have been working on a party so please stop planning and let me surprise you with everything.

LBIJim that is too funny. I thought of doing that for mine since my DH forgets to invite my family and friends to anything he plans for me.

 

[Wendy31]

Also, keep in mind, your mom may really get joy out of planning parties & events. And part of your "gift" to her could be allowing her to have a say and/or even help you plan some of the details.

She may have in mind special things she wants included for their 60th wedding anniversary.

 

[NewRVLady]

My DIL 's family do lots of surprise parties- they are mostly a good month before actual date to throw the person off

 

[tazdev3225]

Thanks everyone. I called my mom tonight and told her I had heard a rumor she was planning a party. She got a little defensive til I told her my aunt told me. Told her that my brothers and I already had started planning a party. My mom in her true fashion said "Well no one told me that!"

I laughed and explained the meaning of SURPRISE means you don't get told. You get surprised. My mom can be dense at times but she knows there will be something just not what or when. Now I can go back to my planning.