Need Female Perspective

[powellrj]

I have been married for 30+ years and I can tell you if my DH ever tried anything like this we wouldn't have been married that long!

I know your heart is in the right place, but she may have lots going on in her life that she needs to deal with before you leave. Are there any appointments she has that need to be canceled, does she work outside the home which is a whole other area that needs to be dealt with.

My DH thinks he knows what goes on around the house, but the reality is there is a lot that goes on that the has no clue. If I were to just leave in 3 weeks for a vacation, it would be a nightmare of kids and work and home to be taken care of before I even think about taking off. I am planning a trip for the end of March and just getting the kids and work issues taken care of is a full time job!

 

[disneybridetobe]

OMG! That's wonderful that you're doing this for her (and your DS!!). Maybe give her two days or so notice, make a "movie night" and pop in the Disney trip planning DVD. When she asks why the heck you're playing *that*... tell her! hehehe.

Then, she's got a day or two to pack, you're DH of the year!

 

[kgle]

I'm gonna go against the current and say keep it a secret, well mostly.

Don't tell her that you sre going to WDW, just tell her you are going somewhere warm and have her plan for that. Keep DISNEY a secret but not the vacation. That way she will still be blown away but she also has control over her clothing and is able to cancel anything that needs to be cancelled beforehand.

 

[fa_mulan]

I personally would probably want to be told ahead of time or as the previous poster suggested, tell her you planned something just not where so she is not totally caught off guard. Surprises are nice but that is a really big one. I think it is very nice of you to do that for your family though! Good luck and have fun!

 

[Mallow]

Just my $.02-- I would personally be thrilled with my DH planning the whole trip, but I have to agree that I would want some notice.

OP, What have you decided?

 

[smidgen21]

do you have the Disney planning DVD? You could pop it in the DVD player, watch it together, then talk about how great that would be, then BAM! Hand her your tickets. And I just want to add, wow, you are a great DH.

 

[tlh0726]

You are great for planning such a wonderful trip for your family.

You know your wife and her reactions better than anyone here on the boards. How well does she deal with surprises and changes? Is she a total organizational machine at home? Does she try on several different outfits before deciding on one before you go out?

I would love to be surprised by such a trip, but with my DH, No way, no how would I be able to leave the next day. And I am not picky about what I wear (DH wears 2 different socks, would love to see what outfits he would put together for me and the kids )

As a previous poster mentioned, he has no clue about what it takes to keep the kids and house running smoothly for the entire day.

All of our trips are planned by me, packing lists for each child made out, (clothes, how many diapers, wipes, drink mixes, etc.), extras like different meds, cold meds, bandaids, plastic baggies etc. (things my DH would never dream of needing at a moments notice)

One trip I even packed for DH, all he needed to do is grab his electric shaver. He was 20 mins late getting in the car. The kids and I kept honking the horn. I finally started the car drove to the end of the driveway (400ft) called him on the cell and said Everyone wave to Daddy because he is staying home this trip. I didn't think the man could run that far that fast

Personally, I vote for keeping it a secret for your child. As for your DW, tell her now so she can prepare.

 

[A4Disney]

I'd let her know now,she will still be surprised at how you pulled this all off but she also gets to digest it all..

 

[brockash]

So two weeks ago I set up a surprise trip (7 days) to WDW for my wife and son (2 yrs). This will be our first real vacation, and we leave in 3 weeks. So I've been doing all the planning myself, without her knowing. My wife has really wanted to go to WDW for a long time, and I know she'll be blown away once she finds out.

My plan has been to tell them we're going on a surprise trip the night before (without saying where), get on the plane, and head out.

Now that we're 3 weeks away, I'm having second thoughts about the whole "surprise" aspect of this trip. After reading this board, I can see how much fun the planning process is, and my wife is missing out; she also won't get a chance to plan specific things she'd like to do. Plus, other than Mickey, my son doesn't know any of the Disney characters, and has never been on a plane. So I'd kind of like to explain to him what's going on.

I've already booked the package (flight, hotel, etc), and have even begun buying & packing various things for the trip (all of which has to be done in secret...I've got the suitcase hidden in the garage). So the major decisions have already been made. Should I stick with my original plan, or let the cat out of the bag?

Let me start by giving a warning that I personally don't like surprises, love disney and am a control freak with the planning. I personally think you should tell your wife asap. You're wife might not like planning ect. so I'm sure she'll be exstatic and you are very sweet to plan such a wonderful trip. I just would tell her asap if you could. Good luck and have a wonderful time!

 

[kateej]

I just want to say how wonderful this is for you to do for your wife!!!! No matter if you decide to tell now or wait, i'm sure she'll be stunned and estatic!

I would want to be told - but i think it depends on what your wife is like. I do believe most women would want to know -- most of us ARE a bit of control freaks when it comes to planning, packing, getting the kids ready, etc. Well, at least i am! And, I do think that part of the fun with Disney is planning the trip and anticipating!

Good luck and please let us know what you decide and how your wife reacts!

 

[sandiegosusie]

First and foremost I want to say from a "wifey" standpoint that you are about to score some major husband points! If it were me, I would want to know about it. Surprise your son, but tell your wife. She has plenty of time to pack at this point and do some planning. But be prepared, she will probably take over the trip if she knows about it. It's just our nature!

 

[sk!mom]

TELL HER NOW!!!!!

You are a gem to plan this for her and she will appreciate it I'm sure but you're right to realize that she may want to be in on some of the planning. Think of all the fun and excitement of the next few weeks as you plan and anticipate together. She'll be in a really good mood- you might get some awesome rewards

 

[dyna]

I'd want to be told esp if taking a young child. I've been married to DH for more than 30 yrs been on many many vacations with him he is just not enough of a planner to be able to pack everything needed.

Now if he told me to pack for some place warm I'd have no problem with that as I'd prolly look at which park what day make note of it an other than that I'd be ready for disney unless he had booked during free dining then he'd know I needed to call for ADR's. We been to disney enough times to pretty much know what to do when without a lot of planning.

At this time of the year pretty much any place warm would be fine with me lol

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

WOW! what a thoughtful hubby you are. I agree with telling her about your suprise soon in a special way. PLEASE FILL US IN ASAP ON HOW IT GOES AND HER REACTION!!!

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm a person who does NOT like surprises.

But what WOULD be a happy surprise for me would be if hubby had the money planned, made the plans, got the plane tickets, and THEN surprised me with it. A package deal, but still enough time to move things around if I really really thought it was important. And time enough to practice airport stuff with the 2 year old, to pack, to buy any new clothes or shoes I might need.

The trip is the surprise, and the surprise is almost the same no matter when it's shared. So tell her, in a fun and surprising way, now!

do you have the Disney planning DVD? You could pop it in the DVD player, watch it together, then talk about how great that would be, then BAM! Hand her your tickets. And I just want to add, wow, you are a great DH.

Seriously good idea.

 

[tackle13]

Thanks everybody for the great advice. Based on the group feedback, I sprang the news on her this morning. I gave our itinerary (the printed version that comes in the mail from Disney) to my son, and told him to take it to Mommy and say "what is this, Mommy?". He performed his role perfectly; but my wife thought it was just junk mail & set it aside (oops). Once she realized what it was she was floored...I think I scored bigtime husband points, and she's very happy I gave her some notice about the trip. Thanks again for your help!

 

[tami82]

Thats very nice you planned a surprise for them. To be honest if i were you i would tell them ahead of time. Maybe take them out to pre-celebration dinner at Applebees or something very fun that you can surprise them both with the news. Or if you can find something disney themed that you can hide the tickets thats another great idea.
I would give your wife the next 3 weeks to do what she has to do in order to be prepared and this way she will have the next 3 weeks to experience the excitement of going there.

 

[lindsmom]

Thanks everybody for the great advice. Based on the group feedback, I sprang the news on her this morning. I gave our itinerary (the printed version that comes in the mail from Disney) to my son, and told him to take it to Mommy and say "what is this, Mommy?". He performed his role perfectly; but my wife thought it was just junk mail & set it aside (oops). Once she realized what it was she was floored...I think I scored bigtime husband points, and she's very happy I gave her some notice about the trip. Thanks again for your help!

Well, since I didn't receive an itinerary today, I'll have to assume you're not MY husband....

I was hoping though...

Good decision to tell, and enjoy your trip!

 

[jtopp]

Could you get away with a surprise and not have her angry with you? I planned a surprise getaway for DW and I, But she believed we were going to AC for the weekend. I didn't tell her it was WDW untilwe were on the way to the airport. She was excited and not too angry, as I usually make all travel plans anyway. Other then her clothing and personal items, it's a great surprise. In your case, however, I would give her a hint as to what you have planned. I'm sure she will be very excited, but appreciate the ability to pack personal items that you may not anticipate. Have a great trip.

 

[lorac4disney]

That's so sweet. I bet she was floored. I'm sure you scored more points than you would have if you kept her in the dark. You've given her the added bonus of giving her input, which is important to me as a wife (but I speak only for myself).

I am happy for you and envious at the same time.