Need advice-sis thinking of eloping to get financial aid!!

[ajk912]

So my sister is in college, and is having a hard time paying the bills. My parents do not help out with school at all. Unfortunately for my sister, my parents make a good wage but because they are unwilling to help out financially, it REALLY hurts my sis because she is at the age still that the FAFSA forms require my parents financial info. And their numbers make her pretty much unable to get aid, but she is still screwed, so she gets no help at all. I think this is HORRIBLY unfair, but I don't make the rules.

So she is considering eloping with her long-term boyfriend to see if she can get loans/grants or help with college. She is under the impression that FAFSA info is due June 30 for the next year, so she is thinking she has 11 days to get married.

I am not in the position to help her financially. We struggle enough ourselves. My parents will not budge, they are of the mindset that they have helped enough already. Is getting married for financial aid, does that WORK? They were planning on getting married eventually, but would just push it up till..uh..now. I want to discourage her but I have nothing to stand on. But that's probably just the big sis in me, who thinks she is too young to get married till she is 40. Anyone BTDT? Any stories I can tell her at all? Thanks!!

 

[RUDisney]

Does your sister work?

My parents didn't help me at all with college. I worked 35 hours per week and took 21 credits per semester. I graduated in 2.5 years from a private college. I got basically no financial aid because my parents were afraid if they came to the school with me, they'd get roped into paying something. The school aid office wouldn't talk to a student about scholarships, etc. In addition to working, I took loans.

I'm grateful now that I pushed myself to finish quickly so as not to prolong the agony of struggling to pay for college while having no life outside of work and school. It was worth it.

Your sister's best bet would be to buckle down and figure out a way to trim down her lifestyle (more than what it is already) and to pay for her education by working hard and concentrating on getting her degree.

Marriage should be between two people who are ready to make the long term commitment to one another... not to pay for school. Marriage for her may work out, but it may open up another can of worms that she is unready to have unsealed.

One thing I can tell you from experience is that it was much easier to get my bachelor's degree when I was unmarried than to get my MBA when I was married. Different time in my life with different obligations. Marriage brings on plenty of them.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

It probably won't work. Some schools consider parental ability to contribute in perpetuity. In fact, my university considered my parents' ability to contribute even after I was a law student and married. CRAZY!

 

[golfgal]

Talk to the school and see if they can work with her on the aid. I know that my parents didn't help me at all and the school was able to take that into consideration and I was able to get more aid for school. I went to a private college so that might make a difference but it is worth a try.

 

[diznygirl]

Talk to the school and see if they can work with her on the aid. I know that my parents didn't help me at all and the school was able to take that into consideration and I was able to get more aid for school. I went to a private college so that might make a difference but it is worth a try.

Yes, tell her to talk to the school. You never know until you ask. I was having trouble paying as a freshman, and this is the advice I got. The financial aid counselor told me that they have money set aside for special cases.

 

[blissventure]

So my sister is in college, and is having a hard time paying the bills. My parents do not help out with school at all. Unfortunately for my sister, my parents make a good wage but because they are unwilling to help out financially, it REALLY hurts my sis because she is at the age still that the FAFSA forms require my parents financial info. And their numbers make her pretty much unable to get aid, but she is still screwed, so she gets no help at all. I think this is HORRIBLY unfair, but I don't make the rules.

So she is considering eloping with her long-term boyfriend to see if she can get loans/grants or help with college. She is under the impression that FAFSA info is due June 30 for the next year, so she is thinking she has 11 days to get married.

I am not in the position to help her financially. We struggle enough ourselves. My parents will not budge, they are of the mindset that they have helped enough already. Is getting married for financial aid, does that WORK? They were planning on getting married eventually, but would just push it up till..uh..now. I want to discourage her but I have nothing to stand on. But that's probably just the big sis in me, who thinks she is too young to get married till she is 40. Anyone BTDT? Any stories I can tell her at all? Thanks!!

Stories like this are so sad. The financial aid rules are rules, and they are set up so that those that can help, should. The good 'ole day of "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, you can too, are pretty much totally irrelevant in 2009." (Unless you're going to a very cheap jr college, or you've been extremely lucky and got a ton of scholarships.)
Schools don't look kindly on folks who can help, but refuse to. They expect everyone to play by the rules. And actually, in the big picture, it isn't unfair. But that's probably a discussion for another time.
Your sister must have had someone explain the ways around this mess--pregnancy, marriage, join the military, age over 24 are the main ones.
She can talk to the financial aid office, but remember, they aren't in the business of helping families that just ignore the FAFSA. When families that can don't help, that leaves less money for the truly needy.
Suggestions? It depends on how open the school is. Your sister would have to ask if there is any way at all for her to work around the rules. I know of one situation where the school allowed the a student to bring in documentation about the parent's refusal--about 4 statements from various upstanding community members- minister, school counselor, principal and so on that were willing to vouch for the student's story.(Not the student's boss at Subway, or their best friend...) This did help but the parents came off looking pretty bad. I never did know if they realized their spiritual leader had to write a pretty ugly letter about them in order to help their child finally become a teacher. Very Sad.

 

[shellybaxter]

I believe the financial aid director can use what's called "professional judgement" to allow aid for a dependent student whose family is not contributing, but there may have to be extenuating circumstances. I was going to take a job in financial aid so I went to a week long intensive training. I didn't end up taking the job, but I did learn a bit about the program. Your sister should ask about professional judgement before she gets married.

 

[englishteacha]

She could go talk to financial aid to find out what her options are. My workstudy was in financial aid, so I became pretty familiar with how things worked. Your sister might be able to become "emancipated" from your parents somehow, living independently. Other ways to save money are to take classes year round and finish early. My college offered free summer housing to students who lived on campus during the school year, if they were taking classes or working locally. (I lived in the dorms year round for 2 years.) She could take a year off and save like crazy while working like crazy, or go to part-time status and work more hours to pay for school.

My parents truly couldn't help me pay for college, so I had to work hard to make it happen. I got decent aid and scholarships which covered a lot, but I still worked, and I didn't spend much just in case I needed the money to finish school.

 

[minkydog]

Is there a reason she's not applying for student loans? Personally, I don't think it is a parents obligation to pay for college, even if they have the money to do so, I don't care what the rules are. If a student wants the education, they will bust their butt to go to college. Perhaps she needs to think about moving to a less expensive school or take out some loans, as long as she understands she'll have to pay them back.

Marriage is hard enough without going into it rushed and with your priorities skewed. Of course, she has the right to make a stupid decision if she wants to, but I think I'd be trying to steer her in a different direction. Like the financial aid office. Now.

 

[Epcot luvr]

I have been out of the college loop for a while. It use to be if she got married that was the only way to be considered independent and then her parents income would not come into play for financial aid. She needs to make sure her combined income with the boyfriend will not exclude her too, the income level is pretty low that disqualifies for lots of loans and grants. She needs to be 100% certain of the rules and be honest with the guy this is why she is marrying him. It stinks that she has to do it but, if that is what it takes.

 

[Nie0214]

Is there a reason she's not applying for student loans? Personally, I don't think it is a parents obligation to pay for college, even if they have the money to do so, I don't care what the rules are. If a student wants the education, they will bust their butt to go to college. Perhaps she needs to think about moving to a less expensive school or take out some loans, as long as she understands she'll have to pay them back.

I'm sure she IS applying for student loans, but if she would otherwise be eligible for grants/scholarships (but isn't because of her parents' $$ that she isn't getting), she'd be silly to not try any means possible to get those grants/scholarships. Why would you voluntarily take a $10K loan if you are eligible to get some money that you won't have to pay back?

 

[akhenaten]

I'm sure she IS applying for student loans, but if she would otherwise be eligible for grants/scholarships (but isn't because of her parents' $$ that she isn't getting), she'd be silly to not try any means possible to get those grants/scholarships. Why would you voluntarily take a $10K loan if you are eligible to get some money that you won't have to pay back?

But you are not simply eligible , if you are just arranging a marriage for the purpose of getting free $$$$.. you are manipulating the situation just to make yourself eligible

Personally I would take out a loan before I would marry to get the aid...

I take marriage too seriously to think of entering just for $$$...

 

[tasha99]

Is there a reason she's not applying for student loans? Personally, I don't think it is a parents obligation to pay for college, even if they have the money to do so, I don't care what the rules are. If a student wants the education, they will bust their butt to go to college. Perhaps she needs to think about moving to a less expensive school or take out some loans, as long as she understands she'll have to pay them back.

Marriage is hard enough without going into it rushed and with your priorities skewed. Of course, she has the right to make a stupid decision if she wants to, but I think I'd be trying to steer her in a different direction. Like the financial aid office. Now.

Loans are considered aid. If her parents are well off enough to pay for her college, she won't qualify for government loans, and private loans require a credit worthiness that someone under 24 is unlikely to have.

 

[Epcot luvr]

But you are not simply eligible , if you are just arranging a marriage for the purpose of getting free $$$$.. you are manipulating the situation just to make yourself eligible

Personally I would take out a loan before I would marry to get the aid...

I take marriage too seriously to think of entering just for $$$...

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She is not manipulating the system. The system is manipulating her.
Nobody is going to give her a loan she does not qualify, that is her problem.
She is trying to get an education and is doing nothing illegal. She will still have to work while in school and will have a huge amount of debt to pay when she finishes.
O/P I wish your sister the best of luck .

 

[allison443]

Loans are considered aid. If her parents are well off enough to pay for her college, she won't qualify for government loans, and private loans require a credit worthiness that someone under 24 is unlikely to have.

All full time students are eligible for the Stafford loan, regardless of financial need. You do have to file the fafsa, though. Also the maximum amount is $5500 for the first year, increasing after that, I believe.

 

[allison443]

Also, I just wanted to say that even if she gets married and is suddenly eligible for a lot more financial aid, a lot of that aid may be in loans rather than grants. Is she prepared to take on loans? Will the marriage cause additional expenses- for example, is she living at home now, and is she planning to move somewhere with her new husband?

 

[barkley]

Also, I just wanted to say that even if she gets married and is suddenly eligible for a lot more financial aid, a lot of that aid may be in loans rather than grants. Is she prepared to take on loans? Will the marriage cause additional expenses- for example, is she living at home now, and is she planning to move somewhere with her new husband?

another BIG consideration could be medical insurance. if she's covered under her parents and gets married she likely becomes ineligible (and the coverage some colleges provide covers next to nothing).

 

[XTinabell]

Unfortuneatly I don't know the rules for the US but I do know that in Canada many banks offer a type of loan for students specifically in situations like this one. Maybe worth investigating?

 

[golfgal]

another big consideration could be medical insurance. If she's covered under her parents and gets married she likely becomes ineligible (and the coverage some colleges provide covers next to nothing).

good point!!

 

[Nie0214]

But you are not simply eligible , if you are just arranging a marriage for the purpose of getting free $$$$.. you are manipulating the situation just to make yourself eligible

Personally I would take out a loan before I would marry to get the aid...

I take marriage too seriously to think of entering just for $$$...

Forget about the marriage and just think of the system:

STUDENT makes $15K a year, goes to school full time, pays for everything herself. She is 20 years old, and a full time student, so the parents can still claim her on their taxes as dependent, even if they're paying nothing for her living.

PARENTS make $200K a year, don't pay for a dime of the STUDENT's schooling, housing, etc.

When filling out paperwork and trying to get financial aid, they require the financial information of the PARENTS. It doesn't ask anywhere if the parents are actually going to pay, it is assumed they will. So the student doesn't get any nice grants or (non-merit) scholarships because her parents make "too much" money... but they aren't paying for anything so why should their finances even be looked at?

I don't know if I agree with getting married to circumvent it, but I don't agree with that system as it is. Others have made some good points about going to talk to Financial Aid at the school to see if they can work something out.