Need advice from parents of picky eaters!

[bkaz]

Okay...DD10 is about to drive me crazy with her eating habits!!! I am looking for advice from those of you who have picky children who are around age 9-11. I, of course, hoped DD would grow out of this, but she has not so I am trying to find ways to come to terms with it and just accept it rather than trying to change her.

Please note...we have tried the "you have to eat whatever I cook or wait until tomorrow" approach and all we get is a child who sits at the table and cries and gags and ruins dinner for everyone...so I am looking for different suggestions at this point.

Anyway...DD will eat primarily these things: mac and cheese, pizza, bagel bites, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, fried chicken drumsticks, quesadilllas, pancakes, bacon, fruit, yogurt, cheese, milk, juice..and any kind of bread! She will not eat fish (too smelly), chicken breast (too dry), hamburger/steak, and vegetables except for carrots and corn.

So, what have any of you come to at this point? Do you provide your child with a list of acceptable foods and let them make their own dinner? Do you cook them something separate? Do you just have them eat cereal? DH and DS will eat most things that I propose...much of it being casseroles or spicy things that I can understand DD not wanting (she seems to be very sensitive to spices and textures).

Would LOVE any helpful ideas! (and will try to ignore any flames about how stupid we are for letting our child control meals and what we cook! )

 

[Mrs. M. Mouse]

Hey No flames from me. I have a pickey 7 year old so I see where you're frustration is coming from. What I try to do is while I hate to make an extra different meal for her I try to provide at least one of the foods I know she will eat. I know it can be difficult if the rest of the family will eat what you are cooking but it just makes for a more peaceful dinner time. Have you seen the new cookbook out there that helps you hide all the veggies and stuff they don't like into foods they do? my babysitter has it and uses it successfully with her picky eaters. I can't think of the title but maybe someone else who answers will have an idea of what I am talking about!

The only rule I've had for her is that she must take one bite of something she hasn't tried or says she doesn't like. if she does that I am satisfied but it has to be a real bite not a little tiny bite.

I also try to get her to help choose what to make for supper. I have found with having her help cook it she is more willing to eat it. Oh and she doesn't like chicken breast either but she will eat the dark meat because it's not quite as dry so we make drumsticks and thigh's alot.

I am a bit lucky though because she likes hamburgers, doesn't like it ground in sauce for pasta but a whole hamburger on a bun she's happy with.

Good luck and I'm a total sympathizer! I'll be following what others say to see if I can come up with any other ideas as well!

 

[GoinToDisney]

OK, I am not coming from a been there done that because my dd is only 3 1/2, so you can take my ideas with a grain of salt. I am still going to try to think out loud for you and see what I come up with. One thought I had was to get her involved with making meals and the other was to get sneaky with the veggies. Jessica Seinfeld has a book out with ideas, but I have been doing this with my dd for a while. Pureed veggies can be added to all sorts of things, even cookies. I'd try some cauliflower cooked and pureed in her mac and cheese. I would also try different styles of cooking a green veggie. For example, I could not get my dd to eat green beans for anything. Then I finally figured out that she will eat canned green beans if they are french cut. After I got her used to that, I got her to eat frozen french cut green beans and now she likes green beans for the most part. It's a shame she won't eat spaghetti and meatballs. Lots of room for pureed veggies in the sauce and the meatballs. When my dd is in an anti-veggie jag, I would steam carrots, broccoli, and spinach or whatever I had and could get away with adding quite a bit to spaghetti sauce and more to the meatballs. Another I just figured out is that I can puree carrots (my dd won't eat them lately) and add them to fruit smoothies. I just saw that she eats pizza. What I would do is steam and puree veggies to add to a jar of sauce and get bagels or pita bread and make your won pizza. My dh doesn't mind my hidden veggies either, by the way.
I also take the battle of wills out of it when I tell her that I never liked lima beans (or whatever) when I was a kid because I wasn't big enough to like them yet. She knows that limas are actually one of my faves now. Then I point out how her tongue learned how to like green beans. I don't know why it helps us when we are in that I don't want to eat it because Mom wants me to cycle, but it does. I guess I am saying it's OK if you don't like it, but every once in a while, you have to try it again to see if you are big enough to like it.
What about giving her a nutrition chart/food pyramid and putting her in charge of making sure that she gets enough each day. She is old enough... she could help you make sure dinner is balanced for everyone even and decide on her own substitutions if needed. Will she eat raw carrots? She can heat some corn in the microwave. She seems to like the sweet veggies. Does she eat french fries? Think she'd be willing to try making sweet potato fries?
I hope maybe you can find something in here worthwhile. I am hoping to pick up some ideas too.

 

[janey99]

I feel your pain!

DS9 is the pickiest eater I've ever encountered - he hates protein! He's 4.5 feet tall and weighs under 60 pounds. He plays soccer on a competitive travel team and I have no idea how he conjures up the energy!

He likes all fruits, most veggies, and most starches. He essentially hates all meat, including hamburgers and chicken nuggets. Here is what his pediatrician and I have devised -

For breakfast, he eats protein enriched granola with milk (whole milk) or a "meal replacement" type bar that is fortified with protein. "Bear Naked" in the blue bag is really good.

For lunch, he will eat PBJ, cheese and crackers or a ham sandwich (I don't know why, but he likes deli ham). With every lunch he also gets a yogurt (I have found Fage Greek strained yogurt - it is full fat and full of protein because it is strained - everything is more concentrated. PS - don't get hooked on this stuff yourself - it is sooooo good but soooo fattening!). He also gets a fruit, a couple of cookies, some crackers or chips, and some cheese sticks for mid-morning snack in class.

For dinner, he will usually eat whatever vegetable and starch we are having. To get some protein into that meal, I melt cheese onto his pasta or potatoes, or I will scramble up an egg with a little soy sauce mixed in to go with his rice. Recently, he has decided he likes plain pizza, so that works for fast food. He will also eat pancakes/waffles/french toast/

So far this is working because he really likes cheese/dairy so I'm able to get a lot of protein/fat into him that way.

Hope you find something helpful in this post. Don't listen to anyone who says "let her starve - she'll eat when she's hungry!" - they have no idea how difficult it is!

Good luck,

Jane

 

[Mkrop]

I dont agree with the let her starve theory either. I could sit there all night if we were having succotash and fish sticks

I say go with the take one good bite and I want agrue with you anymore then eat the stuff she does like.

DS10 has found he likes some of what he tries but then he really doesnt like a lot too.

But hey I dont eat what I dont like much either so why do I force him.

 

[mom2aredhead]

I feel your pain too, and mine is only 4. He had oral sensory issues when he was a baby and is very difficult to get to try new things. I was hoping that by the time he was 9 or 10 it would be easier. Guess not.
My pediatrician suggested going "cold turkey" and told me she would rather have him be hungry and have a pedia sure shake than chicken nuggets and plain pasta all the time. Sorry, I just can't do it. So depending on what we are eating (it's just the 3 of us) I'll make him 1 thing I know he'll eat and he cannot leave the table until he tries at least 2 bites of the other things. We also set a timer (usually about 4-5 minutes) because he has left food in his mouth for upwards of 30 minutes without swallowing it - gross, I know. So if the timer rings and the food is still in his mouth, a toy has to go in the toy time out bag, which goes to work with Daddy. It got him to like steak (smothered in ketchup - whatever) and a few new fruits and veggies. It's such a loooooong and frustrating process, but the list of foods he'll eat is slowly getting a bit longer.

 

[mom2aredhead]

I feel your pain!

DS9 is the pickiest eater I've ever encountered - he hates protein!

So far this is working because he really likes cheese/dairy so I'm able to get a lot of protein/fat into him that way.


Good luck,

Jane

Does he eat pasta? The Barilla Plus (yellow boxes) are partially made from lentils, chick pea and oat flour. I SWEAR there is very little difference and there is much more protien because of the beans - 17g vs. 9 or 10 in regular pasta.

 

[cherjp]

Hi

no flames from me either , i have a ds who is 10 and even more fussy than your kiddos, he only eats sausage rolls, jam sandwiches,lots and lots of toast ,breakfast cereal and sometimes chicken nuggets, and thats it!!!

what i have learned from my elder son who is 13 is that although they are fussy they will grow out of it, my eldest was much the same as my youngest but will now eat nearly everything including chinese, indian food. still wont eat fish though,

I too cook a seperate meal for my youngest and dh other ds and myself eat the same food.

If my mum was still here she would have been horrified that i pander to my youngest but as he is the most stubborn child on the planet he would starve himself rather than eat what he didnt want.

so for an easy life i do it.

cheryl
xx

 

[janey99]

Does he eat pasta? The Barilla Plus (yellow boxes) are partially made from lentils, chick pea and oat flour. I SWEAR there is very little difference and there is much more protien because of the beans - 17g vs. 9 or 10 in regular pasta.

Thanks so much for mentioning this - I actually saw this on a thread a few weeks ago and made a note to look into it and promptly forgot! We already use regular Barilla pasta, so it will not be a big jump for us.

Jane

 

[robin09]

DD8 has ALWAYS been a problem eater. born premature, and refused to eat from BIRTH. In the hospital, she wanted eat enough, or fast enough.. so they put tubes down her nose so she was fed that way... uh uh.. she didn't like it and made it known from day one... she ripped the tubes out... they taped it to her... she ripped those out to... So feeding this child has always been tough for us. She HATES meat, chicken... even pizza can be difficult here. I also heard, she'll eat when she's hungry.. not here.. her body doesn't know when it is hungry and her mood gets worse as her nutrition levels go down. I even have it in her IEP that someone MUST sit with her and guide her to eat.... She has her worst days in school when noone tells her to eat... I always find out afterward, her behavior went downhill because of lack of food. She confuses thirst with hunger alot, so we used alot of smoothies for her.. and that helps.

As for now... she just found a Cooking for Barbie cookbook in the library... picked out a couple of meals, and helped make them... SHE actually ate some real food! I find letting her pick a menu once or twice a week and help me cook it, encourages her to eat, and makes her enjoy food. She has aspergers, ocd, adhd, sensory problems and reactions to color dye in her food... \

No flames her, I feel for you and think I know what you are going through.. feel free to pmfor any other ideas, I think I just wrote a book here, sorry so long!

Okay...DD10 is about to drive me crazy with her eating habits!!! I am looking for advice from those of you who have picky children who are around age 9-11. I, of course, hoped DD would grow out of this, but she has not so I am trying to find ways to come to terms with it and just accept it rather than trying to change her.

Please note...we have tried the "you have to eat whatever I cook or wait until tomorrow" approach and all we get is a child who sits at the table and cries and gags and ruins dinner for everyone...so I am looking for different suggestions at this point.

Anyway...DD will eat primarily these things: mac and cheese, pizza, bagel bites, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, fried chicken drumsticks, quesadilllas, pancakes, bacon, fruit, yogurt, cheese, milk, juice..and any kind of bread! She will not eat fish (too smelly), chicken breast (too dry), hamburger/steak, and vegetables except for carrots and corn.

So, what have any of you come to at this point? Do you provide your child with a list of acceptable foods and let them make their own dinner? Do you cook them something separate? Do you just have them eat cereal? DH and DS will eat most things that I propose...much of it being casseroles or spicy things that I can understand DD not wanting (she seems to be very sensitive to spices and textures).

Would LOVE any helpful ideas! (and will try to ignore any flames about how stupid we are for letting our child control meals and what we cook! )

 

[Rylee]

Hi.

Mother of 5 here... ages 26, 22, 17, 9, & 6.

There are 2 types of pickiness -
1) Only likes a small variety of foods.
2) Choosey about how the food is prepared. (Breaded or grilled, rare or well done, meatballs but not meatloaf, etc.)

The best advice I can give is to continue to expose your children to a wide variety of different foods.

Also -
I used simple reasoning... stretching it a little bit, but it worked... "grilled chicken... is the inside of a nugget, chicken patty... is a big chicken nugget, different shaped pasta... just like making sugar cookies, using differently shaped cutters doesn't make it taste differently, ziti, shells, penne... it's all the same, etc.
Have older children help plan meals and make the grocery list.

As for meals - I refused to cook seperate meals each night, so if I knew one child didn't like the main dish, (I have one that never ate any red meats, still doesn't and the Dr. told me years ago, to leave it alone) I made sure she liked the side dishes and would throw in some nuggets. If they liked the main dish, as long as they like one of the sides, I was fine with it.

 

[tzolkin]

my only child that i've had issues with eating is my oldest who just turned 9. she has to eat a little bit of whatever she doesnt like. (like 3 green beans, etc.) at first it was really difficult to get her to do this. she would cry and throw a fit or when she would finally put it in her mouth she would sit there with it and cry because it tasted so disgusting. we couldnt figure out why she wouldnt just swallow it as fast as possible and then take a drink or eat something else. now she just eats the "taste" of foods she doesnt like without complaining.

i'm also really big on "sneaking" in the vegetables. i know you said your dd doesnt like hamburgers, but i have always made my burgers with carrot, onion, sometimes other veggies, and lots of seasoning in them. we honestly cannot eat a regular burger anymore-- even the kids. my dd knows it's in there, but she realizes that she likes it.

here are a few other suggestions:
-- pasta or pizza-- i always make my own sauce (it honestly takes maybe 10 minutes), so it's really easy for me to add in carrot, onion, etc and it does not change the flavor of the sauce
-- cheese soup-- this was one of my mom's tricks with my sister and i use it too. it's basically a vegetable soup with potatoes. blend it so it's just creamy (make sure you can't see the vegetables anymore) and then melt cheese into it.
--pancakes/waffles-- make your regular batter, but to the wet ingredients i add pumpkin (or applesauce or whatever), cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla. to the dry i add ground flax seed. i always make a bunch and then put them in bags in the freezer to eat instead of the ones you buy.

there are others, but these are the easiest ones that i use regularly.
good luck!

 

[Mkrop]

Does he eat pasta? The Barilla Plus (yellow boxes) are partially made from lentils, chick pea and oat flour. I SWEAR there is very little difference and there is much more protien because of the beans - 17g vs. 9 or 10 in regular pasta.

DS10 will take one look at this and freak. He knows it looks different and since he doesnt do sauce I cant hide it. He did eat the whole plate but he said in that voice "mommy please dont buy this again, it is lousy" Oh well

 

[tmatthews]

Your son eats more than mine!!! I have at Thanksgiving made him a peanut butter sandwich!!!!!!!!!!! He eats but just not a big variety. He will one day .... I make him what he will eat!

 

[SplashMountainMama]

Hey No flames from me. I have a pickey 7 year old so I see where you're frustration is coming from. What I try to do is while I hate to make an extra different meal for her I try to provide at least one of the foods I know she will eat. I know it can be difficult if the rest of the family will eat what you are cooking but it just makes for a more peaceful dinner time. Have you seen the new cookbook out there that helps you hide all the veggies and stuff they don't like into foods they do? my babysitter has it and uses it successfully with her picky eaters. I can't think of the title but maybe someone else who answers will have an idea of what I am talking about!

The only rule I've had for her is that she must take one bite of something she hasn't tried or says she doesn't like. if she does that I am satisfied but it has to be a real bite not a little tiny bite.

I also try to get her to help choose what to make for supper. I have found with having her help cook it she is more willing to eat it. Oh and she doesn't like chicken breast either but she will eat the dark meat because it's not quite as dry so we make drumsticks and thigh's alot.

I am a bit lucky though because she likes hamburgers, doesn't like it ground in sauce for pasta but a whole hamburger on a bun she's happy with.

Good luck and I'm a total sympathizer! I'll be following what others say to see if I can come up with any other ideas as well!

Except for the eating hamburger part (which he doesn't) you have just described the situation with DS6 to a T! I also try to put something on the table I know he will eat. Unfortunately, DH and I tend to disagree about the way to handle the situation and he tries to force him to eat/try more than I do. I think because I'm also a picky eater I am sympathetic. A lot of times he will choose to have nothing at dinner. I just make sure he has a healthy lunch. I think a lot of us moms (and dads maybe?) grew up with food issues (and still have them ) and we're so worried about our kids having them that it causes a lot of stress.

 

[bkaz]

You guys are awesome! I really appreciate all of the ideas, and the support! I am going to try a different suggestion each week and see if I can find some things she will eat. Last week my mom (who falls in the "don't cook her anything special" camp) had her over and they decided to make cheese soup (daughter loves to dip bread in brocolli cheese soup....but doesn't eat the brocolli). Anyway, it was pureed potatoes and squash...I thought DD would never touch it...but she actually ate a little bit of it! So maybe adding something to spag. sauce or pizza sauce would work. She would love it if she could make her own pizza...so I'll have to give that a try. I don't have a food processor or anything like that...maybe I'll have to invest! Keep the suggestions coming!

 

[barnaby1]

I cannot offer advice from personal experience, my dd (nearly 2 eats like a horse) but I just wanted to offer 2 thoughts if they help.

One is from the view of a child. I remember as a child being forced to eat everything on my plate. There was never any avenue for me saying I didn't like something and although I eat most things there were some foods that made me sick with their taste (beetroot and mature cheese come to mind amongst others). I still remember the dred when these types of food appeared and that my parents wouldn't listen to me. I promised myself I would never do that to my child. I suppose what I'm trying to say is it is OK for children to have the same likes and dislikes for food tastes as adults (although these obviously have to be in proportion and not exclude absolutely everything remotely good for you!!!!!).

The second is that I saw "supernanny" deal with this exact same problem on one of her shows and the results from her ideas were fantastic. I can't remember exactly what she did but it may be in one of her books. At least it is another place to look.

 

[FinallyHome]

Wow! I really hoped that my DS would improve with age but maybe not. DS and DD are complete opposites. DS was a terrible eater from birth and continues to be picky and wants to survive yogurt and cereal. I do make him eat what we're having but I give him small amounts - I understand that by 9 it's a different issue than general pickiness of a preschooler - a 9 year old truly knows what he/she does/doesn't like. After he eats the small amounts then I make him PBJ or give him yogurt to fill him up the rest of the way. Good luck! DS is only 4 so we'll see where this goes for us.
~Christy

 

[Harlie]

Let me say that your childs pickiness will not go away with age. You need to encourage your child to try new things. If they have not tried it in a year its on the "new" list again because childrens taste bud change over the years.

My DD is a picky eater and our problem with her is Veggies. Our solution to this problem was to start her plate off with a sample size of veggies that were served once that was done she can serve herself with what ever is on the table.

Chicken nuggets are never on our family table and if Mac and cheese is its home made from sratch with veggies and chicken (my kids love this and fight over who gets to take the left overs for lunch the next day).

I have always believed if you never feed your kid crap food they will have no clue what they are missing.

We have a book of family fave foods that we compile as a family and processed foods are not on it, actually my kids tend to not like foods like hamburger helper or other quick prepared foods.

Oh yeah I am not at SAHM we are two full time working parents and we still manage to make sure our kids are fed whole foods(organic if local), so it is not "hard" to do this.

This is easier said then done for you OP as you have already intorduced your child to a diet of processed foods and well she is addicted. As she is ten purchase a few cook books and let her pick a few recipes that she may want to try. Also if Veggies are your main problem start with small steps ask her to eat a small teaspoon of veggies at the dinner table and reward her if she does, once she is doing it regularly take the reward away but tell how proud you are of her trying to eat healthier foods. I would recommend a multi-vit if she isn't already on one.

As for those that have children that don't like meat....I have to say that there are so many ki9ds that are make choices to go vegan at earlier ages now a days. My advice don't fight them to eat the pork chop, but offer an alternative.

Sauces, if your kid hates them who cares, mustard, mayo, ketchup, ranch, bbq sauce ect are not staple that help you servive they add extra sugar and calories in a childs diet that is not needed why fight it? I would be more concerned about the child that can not eat with out sauces.

Recapp
Veggies=force..errr encourage child to eat
meat= offer alternatives
sauces= don't force to eat encourage to cut back on or stopp buying it

Does that make sense?

 

[Mkrop]

Let me say that your childs pickiness will not go away with age.

I would strongly disagree with this. My tastes have greatly improved since I was younger. I am not the most adventurous eater in the world, I dont like a lot of spicy stuff, but I am much more willing to try things then I was as a child.

The other example I have is DBro24. He always ate the same things as a kid. We went on a cruise as a family when he was 9 and he ate pancakes and cheeseburgers the whole time. Where I loved trying the new stuff and DBro28 and I fell in love with escargot on the trip.

DBro24 is also 14 years younger and I babysat him a lot when I was dating DH. We have a running joke in the family about the night we tried to get him to eat shrimp. He equates this to abuse . Anyway he is now 24 years old and he eats like a horse. And he eats quite a variety. Shrimp is still not his favorite seafood but if it is mixed with other things he will eat it. Like he likes shrimp if it is on top of pizza.

So for all of you with picky eaters there is hope!!!!!!!!!!