My husband's journey with brain cancer.... Happy Thanksgiving to all!

[karen l]

Lisa, please accept my condolences & prayers for your family. I also lost my husband to cancer & I know how traumatic it is. As difficult as this is, at least you know he's no longer suffering. Wishing you & your family peace. God Bless.

 

[MagicMe]

So sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[kimis]

So very sorry. You all are in my prayers.

 

[my2boysrtwicethefun]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[minniebeth]

My deepest sympathies go out to you. I am so so sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[Mskanga]

I am so sorry about your loss , my friend's daughter also died from brain cancer at age 16 last april , my daughter and her were classmates and it's very difficult to do anything without thinking of her , especially because my daughter had cancer as well at the same time.
I am glad that he is no longer suffering but I am heartbroken for you. {{{hugs}}}

 

[seaprincess]

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and prayers. This past two weeks have been the most difficult time of my life. I have tried to stay strong, but after the planning, the funeral and everyone went home, I must say I feel so alone.

I returned to work very quickly for mainitaining routine. I find myself not wanting to leave work because I know I have to go home to an empty house. This past weekend was the most difficult as I walked around and did not know what to tackle first. My energy is so drained and although I did some work I feel as it was a small blip in the grand scheme of things.

I miss my DH more than I ever could have imagined. I would give everything up for one more moment. I am sure you all have heard it before. I keep praying that he will let me know he is okay and at peace. I know that sounds silly but I feel like it will pacify my soul.

I decided to go forward with my plans to go on our scheduled vacation, a Disney Cruise, on the Wonder in December. It would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. I thought there was no better way to honor his memory. Perhaps by then, I can use the time wisely to reflect and heal while at sea. I am nervous about traveling alone as Ben and I did everything together. I guess I need to put on my "big girl pants" and give it a shot.

Thank you all for your continued support!

Please make sure that you hug your loved ones everyday, tell them you love them and never take life for grantite. Make each day count!!

 

[sarasotamom]

First of all. a great big hug..My husband was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the small intestine in early June..My life has been a rollercoaster ever since.I have been with him since I was 15 years old. He is my best friend, lover, soulmate, and my prince charming. I am crying right now, as I read your story. We too, do everything together. I have been with him for 37 years.

He is in remission right now, but there is always that next PET scan. May God help you as you go through your grief. I am sending good thoughts and prayers to you.

 

[MinnieGal]

I am so sorry for you loss. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers

 

[Ember]

My heart aches for you, I am so very sorry.

 

[dee47]

 

[AnnaS]

 

[seaprincess]

Thank you all so much for your hugs, thoughts and prayers. It broke my heart to read Marsha's post just now that her dear husband passed away from pancreatic cancer. I despise the "C" word right now. Too many good people are fighting so hard but yet the cancer wins almost every time.

This past weekend would have been Ben's 41st birthday. I went to the cemetary, bought a beautiful Mum and placed it at his graveside and sat on a blanket and talked to him for awhile. It felt so awkward because a year ago he was just home from rehab and improving. Life just does not seem fair. I guess I just miss him.

I am told that this will be the year of "firsts". With the holidays coming, I am apprehensive as to how I will handle them. I hope and pray that God will give me the strength to get through. I will remember and honor Ben as often as I can.

Once again, thank you for all your support and kind thoughts. It has been helpful to come to the DisBoards to share thoughts, feelings, accomplishments, frustrations and most recently grief.

Please take care, Lisa

 

[Elfstar]

Please accept my sympathies for your loss. I'm here in NC too, my husband passed from ALS in January. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm or e-mail me.

It still seems odd, after 9 months, that Jim's not here; I keep on going (I understand about not wanting to leave work at the end of the day) because - just because sometimes. Coming home alone isn't as bad as it could be because I have several pets - that's comforting because they don't let me feel like I'm alone. Some days are easier than others to get through; I try to do things with friends sometimes but, as much as I enjoy their company, that seems odd, too. Guess it'll just take more time. I've been back to Disney a couple of times, I feel very close to him there because we had such fun every time we went.

This board is wonderful, we all agree there. It's nice to have a place to talk where we know people will understand.

 

[Jenvenza]

I am so sorry about your dear husband. He was so young. I cannot even imagine.

I found this today, becuase I found out today my friend and co-worker's 8 yo daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer two weeks ago. They have given her 9 months to live. It is such a terrible disease and it just isnt fair.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[seaprincess]

I just responded to a post regarding a little 8 year old girl fighting this horrible disease. My husband was a happy, healthy 39 year old man when he was diagnosed with brain cancer~with no warning. On July 28, 2008 he went to work at at 11am, he complained of a massive headache and quickly lost the ability to speak and was thought to have had a stroke. Ben was rushed to Duke Hospital where they found a huge mass in his brain that moved one of the hemispheres over so far that he just had one. Miraculously he was able to function and never complained although he must have been suffering horrendous headaches and other symptoms. He was just that way, selfless, caring and always worried about me . Because the crainial pressure and fluid in his brain was so great, he was unsconsious for three days before they resected his tumor. In the interim, his memories were erased, his congnitive ability reduced to that of a young adult, and his ability to speak and connect words was so limited. If it was not for the capable hands of Dr. Alan Friedman, I may never have seen my sweet Ben again. That day, our lives changed in an instant and life would never be the same again. His strength and courage through his difficult journey gave me the ability to stay strong and support him. Now that my "strength" and driving force is gone, I am not sure how to keep going.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, miss him and when I walk in the door I expect to see him sitting in bed waiting for me to cook dinner. I have shed more tears than I could ever imagine and would give everything up for just one more hour, minute or day with him.

What is even sadder is that my support system is gone. My family has not called to check on me since the funeral and most of my friends tiptoe around me. I can only tell people to please be there for your friends not just during the funeral but they need you more after the dust settles. My heart used to be so full and now it is so empty. I go through the daily motions of life; I work, come home, eat dinner, walk the dog and go to bed. I just exist. I am not sure what "normal" is and pray that time will heal wounds. Because my husband could not speak or communicate, we never had the "good-bye" that so many have been lucky to have when a loved one dies. Luckily I was with him when he passed and wished he could have said I love you or good-bye. It plays like a recording in my head and wish I had said so much more and that I knew he could hear and understand me. Every night I pray he comes to me in a dream just to tell me he is no longer in pain and his spirit free to fly. I am still waiting and hoping. I miss him so.

I am so glad for these boards and the support it has offered. It makes me terribly sad to hear more news of brain cancer that affects a sweet 8 year old girl. The pain is more than one can bare knowing what that family must being going through. I only hope that one day there will be a breakthrough in cancer research that can spare the lives of human beings.

God Bless and have a good evening. ~Lisa

 

[minniebeth]

Oh Lisa, just reading your post wants to make me hug you tightly and say that everything will be ok. I know it's not, and I'm so sorry that not only are you grieving the loss of your husband, but of your support system as well.
I have always tried to make a conscious effort to be there for friends and family well after the dust has settled. I pray that you may find the support you need.
You are in my thoughts and prayers often

 

[seaprincess]

Minniebeth,

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. It means more than you know. I keep praying too, every night, for peace of mind. Have a nice evening and God Bless you.

Lisa

 

[dogodisney]

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.
Maybe in time you can get involved doing something with brain cancer awareness or be some type of support for others dealing with it.

In the meantime keep coming here. You can cry, vent, scream, whatever you need to do.

May God Bless You with peace and strength.

 

[frdeb1999]

So very sorry on the loss of your beloved husband Lisa. I don't get on here as much as I used to....but hugs to you.