My brother and his family want to come with us!

[Aisling]

I have been so looking forward to our Disney trip this summer, me DH, DS12 and DS18. The kids and I are Disney fanatics, but DH has had enough so he has informed us he will not be joining us this time. I was disappointed, but am over it now, and was then looking forward to spending the time with my 2 sons at AKL concierge for a week.

Now, my brother has asked if he could join us, it would be himself, his wife and 2 daughters 3 and 6. He's stationed in the Air Force in Texas (I'm in NY) and I don't see him too often, so at first I was so excited, but now I'm worried!

They have never been to WDW and I'm scared they might spoil my vacation! I know how horrible that sounds, but I daydream all year about my Disney vacation, I live for my Disney vacation, and I'm scared that it will be too hot, too crowded, too this and too that for them. They are not complainers, but I've read all the horror stories here on these boards. My kids say let's go for it, it'll be a wonderful memory of us all being together. I wish, I hope!

He can only afford AKL standard, and I feel uncomfortable having concierge because of this.
And I feel guilty because he says he knows his family will have a wonderful time being with us. I would never tell him no, but I could gently discourage him. I know, I'm awful!! But this trip means so much to me!

I guess I just need to hear that it's possible that it'll work out smoothly, that a group of 7 with 2 (adorable!) little ones can get along.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[mommyflower]

Maybe you could decide together ahead of time that when things get too much for anyone you should split up. Also maybe you could do half days together. Your DB's kids are little and will probably need a break in the afternoon. Maybe you could all go together in the morning and then seperate in the afternoon or vice versa. Or maybe you could do every other day together. I think it could be a great time for you as long as you talk with your DB & SIL about how you would like to do things. Explain that while you really want to have fun with him and his family you would like to have some time with just you and your boys. I don't think to have a nice family vacation everyone needs to be together every second. It usually works out better if your not.
They best way to make things work is to have a plan and communicate with everyone involved. And I don't think you should feel guilt about having concierge, atleast you will be at the same hotel. It can work, just don't go into thinking it will be a bad trip. Also think of how fun it will be to see disney through the eyes of two little ones. Your boys may really like sharing their experience with their two little cousins. I say go for it!

 

[crisi]

It will work out smoothly. You don't have the concerns that so many people here have - family they don't actually LIKE coming along. Families that are stocked with Complainers.

The families are very different, and I think you'll need to point out to him how different they will be and that you won't be spending all day every day together. I'd get him to MK and introduce him and his family to Fantasyland - then take off and meet up again for dinner or at the pool. If you book an early dinner at Epcot (or meet up for fast food if his budget doesn't allow for dinner) you can do the "intro to Epcot" for him and his family by walking through and going on a few family friendly rides. The next day, do the same thing with AK, then book dinner at MGM, to give him an intro to that park. By day three he will have seen all four parks and have a pretty good idea of what is up. And you will get to spend every evening with them.

We just did this with my mother in law and her sister. I had the same concerns. She's a good sport, but her needs are so different than my family of preschoolers. And she'd never been to Disney - which can be so confusing! By day three they were off on their own and we saw them each day for breakfast and dinner. We spent more time at the MK, at the waterparks, etc - they strolled and poked their way through the World Showcase. It was a really great trip for everyone.

 

[Disney Ella]

Maybe you could spend a few days there alone before or after he comes so you know you will get to do what you want.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I think that will be fun for you all to see WDW through the eyes of little ones again. I would sit down and plan things that you would all like to do together and then plan blocks of time for each family alone. I am sure they will need lots more time in some parts of MK than you all will.
Can you afford to pay the difference between standard and concierge for them?? That price would be much less that what it would have cost if your DH came along. That would eliminate your guilt and be great for his family too. The Concierge loung would also be a great meeting place for you all to get together. Sounds like the making of a great trip.


Jordans' mom

 

[jsginmd]

My only suggestion would be to get them some info ahead of time so they can see what they might like to do. Any guidebooks you can spare, websites, free Disney vacation video/DVD could help them decide what they'd like to do.

I took a trip with my brothers' families and I was, by far, the "expert". I gave them the guidebooks and told them to pick a few things they would like to see. It never happened. Their view was "whatever you want to do is fine with us".

So I tried to plan things I thought they would like without compromising what we wanted to do. For example, we all went into the Playhouse Disney show although my kids were the only ones who were young enough to really like it. Nobody complained but I do have a picture of my brothers really loving the show (if they could have napped in there, they would have).

I was expecting disaster and told everyone up front that time apart would be fine. Turns out, everything went great and we all had a blast. Only once did DW and I break away from the rest and that was only for a few hours the whole week. I was really surprised.

Everyone has expressed interest in a return trip in a few years. Next time, we won't hit the parks commando-style every day. More down time to enjoy ourselves.

And don't feel guilty about concierge. If you check in together, they might get a small upgrade on-the-house. Not to concierge, but maybe to pool or savannah view. Never hurts to ask.

 

[MosMom]

Well, I don't really have any advice but I do perhaps have a glimmer of hope to offer...

We took my husband's family to DisneyWorld in 2000 and we all had a WONDERFUL time! My MIL, BIL & his wife, their 3 boys, and my SIL's 2 boys (my sil passed away the year before so they stayed with us). We had our moments but we have our moments when it is just my immediate family.

We did the luau together, Chef Mickey's, and took turns watching each others kids so we could have a night out alone (not that you need that with teenagers). We are actually in the midst of planning another trip all together! You can always split up if you are getting too much of each other. Hope this helped a bit!

 

[Crazy Momma]

We have vacationed with my husbands family for years. We live in VA they live in CT our children are 10,8,7. Before our first trip 5 years ago we set ground rules. If a family wants to spend family time together, all you have to do is say we want to spend some family time together to the other family. Tell them before you go, because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Get a set of radios so you can find each other in the park. Both families work hard all year for a nice vaction make the most of it.

It will be fine, don't stress over the situation. Enjoy your bothers company but, spend some special mommy time with your kids alone. Everyone will be happy.

I have 4 days before my next disney vaction.

I'm doing the Disney Happy Dance

 

[Jynohn]

Does your brother know about Shades of Green? Since he is Air Force, he is eligible to stay there and it will be at a significant savings for him.

Although he can sponsor a room for you too, if you have your heart set on the AKL and want your "alone" time, you don't have to tell him that you're eligible to stay there.

That way he can have a nice, affordable vacation, you can still stay where you want without feeling guilty, and you can all get together when you want to and still have your space.

Have a great trip whatever you decide!

 

[pewing]

Aisling ~

I can understand some of what you are feeling. When we were planning our trip last year (and I do mean planning ) my SIL mentioned joining us. I broke out in a cold sweat. At the time we had two DS-6 and 8 and they had two DS-5 and 7 (a boy every year...for four years ), a DD 3 and one on the way.

We love our family, but have ceased travelling with them much. They do things a lot differently than we do and it can be very stressful. For instance...she was already talking about staying 'offsite' to save $$ (they are loaded ) and how we could bring a cooler into the parks. No offense to anyone...but that is not how we 'do Disney'. IMHO...why not 'save' your $$ for Disney? We save up and save up and then splurge when we go I would rather eat mac n' cheese at home and not eat out for 6 months...so I can eat out on vacation!

All this said not to judge anyone's 'Disney Style', but to emphasize that our styles can be quite different. Our kids were all close to the same age...while you also have the issue of age difference.

I think you should plan your trip and send your iteneraries to them. Have them 'plug in' where they want to. I think meeting for meals, shows, parades...would be great.

I guess it really depends on your personality...his personality...and everyone's vacation goals. I do hope it works out for you (it did not work out for us ) . What a wonderful set of memories that could be.

jsginmd 's experience is inspiring! It can work out great. I wish my family worked like that!

Jynohn 's suggestion about SOG was also great...it can be an awesome deal

 

[extreme8]

I know exactly what you're going through.
During the early Disney planning stages (me, DW, DS 8, DD 5) of our April '04 trip I asked my brother and his family if they might be interested in coming along (their first time). He didn't get back to me for a few weeks and during that time I rethought my invitation and decided it was best that he didn't show any interest. I thought it would be better for the 4 of us Disney pros to go alone and not have to be tourguides.
Well, a month has gone by and there are now 21 of us going. My brother decided to come, his wife invited her parents, and her sisters family, my wife invited her parents and her sisters family, and now my parents are thinking about it!
I ended up doing the planning for all of 'em.
Fortunately I get along with everyone going, and really enjoy all of them. Even if we weren't family we would still be friends.

We all understand that we won't be able to spend every waking hour together, but they seem to be depending on my expertise in the parks.
I've decided to just plan my schedule the way I always would and let them come along anytime they're interested. I'll consult with the gang and make a few PS's, and maybe schedule a fireworks cruise or something.
I'll give them a list of tips, show them some maps, explain the way things work in the World, point them towards rides and shows they may like, and clue them in on some of the "insider" stuff that most of us here already know about and see how it works out.
Lets face it, there are some benefits to travelling with someone who knows their way around (Long line at AK entrance - quick scan of mental database - "follow me, we'll go through the Rainforest Cafe"). But they don't need anyone to point out the magic.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing the reactions of a herd of newbies when they hit main street and see the castle.

 

[Aisling]

Thanks so much for the advice and support! I sent away for a planning video for him and sent him the link to the official Disney website. He didn't even know there was one!

About SoG, wow, I never even thought of that. I'm definitely going to check into it for him.

Well, a month has gone by and there are now 21 of us going.

Oh dear, this is hilarious!

 

[pewing]

Originally posted by extreme8

Well, a month has gone by and there are now 21 of us going. My brother decided to come, his wife invited her parents, and her sisters family, my wife invited her parents and her sisters family, and now my parents are thinking about it!
I ended up doing the planning for all of 'em.

Are you doing any of the 'Magical Gatherings'?

 

[Gretchen]

don't stress about it, be blunt. You need to discuss what you want to do, what your DB and family want to do BEFORE you even get on the plane or car to drive down. That way, everyone knows what everyone wants and no one gets hurt feelings. We met one of my best friends at WDW. We've known each other since 4th grade and are in our 40's now. My group was me, dh, dd, her group dh, ds, mom and dad. Now, we all discussed what we wanted. We stayed at the same resort, but a hallway away. That way we were close enough yet far enough away. We would meet in the morning, and go to the same park, split up and then meet for lunch or a couple hours later. We didn't have phones or walkie talkies, although, my DH and I take our phones with us now. We all had a blast. It was really nice to see her folks, I grew up with them and really nice to have some together time just her and I. We were all very aware of each others wants, and it worked out fine.

About SOG, if they are full, they will offer you overflow at another WDW property at a substantial discount. Well, not you, but your Brother.

So, there you go, have fun!
Gretchen

 

[extreme8]

originally posted by pewing

Are you doing any of the 'Magical Gatherings'?

I'm considering the character breakfast at Tony's and/or the dessert fireworks cruise that's offered to Grand Gathering participants.
I shouldn't have much trouble getting 8 out of 21 to come along.

The Grand Gathering also guarantees us rooms in the same area of the resort. That has it's good and bad points;
The good - we'll have built-in babysitters (them) Here we come adventurers club!
The bad - so will they (us, ouch)