Mom dragged kid by backpack harness!

[dogluva]

You sure do have a way with offending people, even though that, apparently, isn't your intention.

My husband and I can hold our heads up high. We are good parents, who are not embarrassed about keeping our children safe.

Guess what, all children are different. Just because you, with your awesome parenting skills, have kept your children safe without a harness, doesn't mean you'd be able to control all children that way.

I agree. Every child is different. I happen to have six who are all different. The first one, very busy but didn't use one because there were always a million adults watching him (first grandchild both sides). The next two did not leave my side (still don't). The next two, I had no choice. Two boys a year apart. No way was I going to risk losing one. Sometimes you just cannot take a double stroller everywhere you go due to space. I also had a lot more to do since I had older kids. My fifth son was off the wall-he walked at nine months and was extremely hyper active. We would lose him in the house. My sixth chidl is the exact same way however, by the time she was born I had older kids who helped.

Every situation is different just like every child is different. Those that say they would never use them will eat their words when the next child they have is not like the first.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Today, at a local play place (think Chuck E Cheese minus the show and decent pizza). Anyway, I saw a mom dragging a tantruming toddler by the arm. He was definitely not walking of his own accord! She took him to a quiet conrer until he calmed down. Was this a felony or even abuse?

According to many in this thread - yes...

 

[DizBelle]

Hmmm. Let's see. Child in a coffin or child in a harness? Which one to choose... which one to choose...

 

[dogluva]

I didn't use a harness until I had twins, and I found them much less restraining than a stroller, a tool that some parents use to hold their child hostage so they don't have to pay attention to him or her. Just belt them in, and push them around. god forbid kids get exercise. I'd rather my children be able to walk, and when you have 2 toddlers, it's just not possible NOT to use harnesses if you are by yourself, safely.

I'm guessing the parent dragging the child by the harness would've just dragged the child by the shirt if the harness wasn't there.

I agree. There are kids at the pool I go to who are are old enough to walk but sit in those strollers all day long. My kids who not go for that.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 5 kids. My last 2 are twins. The first 3 are now 12, 11 and 9. I think I used a harness once with one of the older 3 kids. I use them much more often with the twins. It's either use the harness or never let them out of a stroller (or never leave the house..and I do no find the whole, "we never take our child anyplace that might be dangerous" to be a little ridiculous/unrealistic....and truthfully I don't think you do a child any favors by staying home).

I do not use the leash to be lazy or avoid paying attention to my girls. It would be much lazier for me to keep them in a stroller and much easier to not pay attention to them if they were buckled into a stroller. Using the leash is more work for me but better for the girls. They can run and explore a bit and I can keep them from taking off in 2 directions. If anything, the leash requires me to pay more attention to them. They seem to love wearing the harness and love the freedom that comes with it. They are very willing to let me slip it on hem without struggling. The harnesses also allow my older 3 kids to help out with the twins. Even the 9 yr old can hold the leash and let her sister run a bit (right next to me and her other little sister).

You don't have to use a leash if you do not want to, but it's insane to imply that parents who use a leash are lazy or innattentive. If anything, I find the opposite to be true. I use a leash because I am not being lazy and I pay more attention when I use one.

Jess

edit...adding that my twins are 2 yrs old. I forgot to post their age.

I had to stop using them when they were 3 - I lost one, and they would fight over who got to wear the remaining one! They LOVED them so much! Since they had older siblings, we were always out and about, and I hated to keep them trapped in a stroller.

 

[jodifla]

Well, back to the ORIGINAL question.

I don't see a felony here. I see that they'd want to ask some questions, but there's no felony on the tape.

 

[EMom]

I never used a harness/leash with DD, but then again, I never had to . She was an easy to get along with, hold Mommy's hand type of child. Boy, did I have it easy. The worst it ever got was when she decided to go one way and we wanted to go another....Sometimes we had to pick up her up and just keep walking, but fortunately she was lightweight. However, I never looked down on anyone who used a harness. My sister had a runner and that little dickens delighted in bolting from her and escaping. She was in her late 20s, I was in my early 20s and between the two of us, we could hardly catch him. It's a wonder he never wound up on a milk carton. If he'd been mine, I'd have had a head full of gray hair. And he would have been harnessed in a heartbeat.

Yes, I could sit around and say what a superior mother I am because I never used a harness on DD, but I have sense enough to know that is largely due to the fact that she simply never required one. I have always been a firm disciplinarian, but I don't kid myself.....It helps to have a child who tends to follow the rules.

Mothers of runners, you have my sympathy. And I won't give you dirty looks if you stick those kids in a harness.

 

[Tomader]

I am one mom that hates a leash on a child! I have three kids and have never needed to leash my child. If they misbehaved we left the place we were at. I feel very bad when I see a child on a leash. I'm sure it's for the welfare of the child but I just don't like them.

 

[joyjoy]

I would much rather see a curious (and fast) little one using the harness/leash thing rather than the same kid riding in one of those tricked out strollers with cup holders, video screens, gps and snack bar. Honestly, do they stay in those things all day? Why so much crap? Plus, they are HUGE and run people over. Let 'em walk, I say. If they get tired, go take a nap.

 

[hornedfrog]

I'm truly awed by the venom. I expressed my views and truly, I respect everyone's right to make any parental choice as they see fit as long as its in the confines of general morality and the law. Just like this thread is swimming in judgment (on both sides - and I am including myself), there is judgement in the real world. Would I ever give a parent holding a leash attached to a child a dirty word? Of course not. A dirty look? No way. I'm busy watching/enjoying my own kids and truly, its a free country and I have far too many more serious causes to champion. No where did I say that leashes should be banned or that parents are "bad" for using them. Takes more than a leash to make a parent "bad". But I disagree with them. I think that for normal, healthy (defiant or 'runner' counts as normal and healthy to me) children, leashes are not appropriate. I would never use one. I do not take my kids to places that are obviously unsafe for me to navigate alone with them (and yes, ANY place can be unsafe, but if we're basing the argument on that, should we EVER leave the house? Why are we not wrapping the kids in bubblewrap? Why not 24/7 helmets??). I have the number of kids that I can handle and I will not be having any more. I have made choices in my life that enable me to be the type of parent that I strive to be (even if I fall short some days).

 

[maznorm]

I, for one, am all for leashes. My DS (3) and DD (2) where them regularly. I never thought it could be seen as anything other than responsible until I read this thread. My son is well behaved and will hold my or DH's hand when he is walking. When we take him out alone, he does not wear a leash. My DD is a runner and is super fast. There is no way I will let her off of the leash until I feel she is safe to do so. I believe the leashes are a good way to teach a child to stand with you at all times. I also believe it is better than leaving a child stuck in a stroller all day.

They will both be wearing leashes at Disney next year when we go. They will be in an unusual, exciting and crowded place and I feel that they should be allowed to interact with their surroundings without being at risk of getting lost in the crowd.

I use them responsibly and I don't believe that this mother would have treated the child any different had he not been wearing a harness. It was merely the easiest thing to grab on to.

Those of you that feel you have the right to look upon parents and judge them either have no children,are fortunate enough to have naturally well behaved children (yes they do exist), are an incredibly harsh disciplinarian, or your children get exactly what they want when they want in order to avoid making you look "bad". Any parent who has ever struggled to get an unwilling child into a car seat will know what I mean.

My children will be wearing their leashes at Disney next year. Look down on me all you like. I am sure there are parenting choices that you make that I would not agree with. As long as you are happy with those choices that is all that matters.

 

[hornedfrog]

Those of you that feel you have the right to look upon parents and judge them either have no children,are fortunate enough to have naturally well behaved children (yes they do exist), are an incredibly harsh disciplinarian, or your children get exactly what they want when they want in order to avoid making you look "bad". .

That would be none of the above.

Any parent who has ever struggled to get an unwilling child into a car seat will know what I mean..

I have been that parent. More than a few times.

My children will be wearing their leashes at Disney next year. Look down on me all you like. I am sure there are parenting choices that you make that I would not agree with. As long as you are happy with those choices that is all that matter.

I will likely see you, internally roll my eyes (since physically doing so would take my eyes off of my own kids) and then move on. I will be busy attending to my unleashed children. And I'm sure that you wouldn't agree with every decision I make. But I promise that I won't get into a lather about it.

 

[Nancy]

Great post!

I would also like to add that my parents used a harness on me back in the very early 50's - when I was a toddler.. Dignity is still intact; I don't bark; I don't chew on the furniture; I don't lift my leg to pee; and I don't prefer my meals in bowls on the floor..

Interesting that people would choose to use a leash on a "dog" to keep them safe, but the safety of their children is less important..

The safety of my children was ALWAYS my top priority but I never had to use a leash/harness to make sure they were safe. That was not my choice. When we went to the mall we used the double stroller and the oldest walked but had to hang onto the stroller. Maybe I was lucky because none of them were runners. If the middle kid wanted to walk then she got out and held onto the other side. My the time the youngest was old enough to be a walker the other 2 would not have been in strollers anyway.

The whole thing is what you choose to use for YOUR child. What I think about using a leash/harness for a child really shouldn't matter to anyone if you are comfortable with your choices. A person shouldn't have to defend why they use them to anyone. I just don't get the whole debate and the whole "if you don't use them you're not keeping your child safe"

 

[hornedfrog]

Yes, the 'leash or coffin' post really made me .

I truly am done here. I am normally a lurker and only come out when I feel the need to. That feeling is gone.

 

[Nancy]

Yes, the 'leash or coffin' post really made me .

I truly am done here. I am normally a lurker and only come out when I feel the need to. That feeling is gone.

I know, I didn't use one and since my kids are now 21, 19 and 16 they didn't end up in a coffin due to lack of one. And no they were not naturally well behaved (but they did behave in public for some reason) I was not a strict mom but they knew that when I said to do something they should do it and they sure didn't get whatever they wanted when they wanted it. They still get told no a lot.

 

[C.Ann]

I just don't get the whole debate and the whole "if you don't use them you're not keeping your child safe"

That was not the way that my post was intended.. It was a simple statement - aimed at people who consider placing a harness/leash on a child as treating the child as though he/she were a dog.. Those same people have no problems putting a leash on their dog to keep the animal "safe", so if a parent has a child that is a "runner/dasher" why would that child's safety be any less important than that of the parents dog?

I wonder what parents do if they have more than one child of the same age, one or more of the children is a runner/dasher, and they have more children than hands? I saw a dad in Disney World in 2005 who had 6 babies - in the largest stroller I have even seen in my life! That's 4 more hands than what he had.. (Oddly, I saw no "mom" in sight..) I would think that when those kids are old enough to walk, he would need as many "options" as he could possibly find..

I have nothing against parents who use harnesses on their children - or those who don't.. I do have a problem with parents stating that "all" children are alike (in terms of how they can be encouraged/trained not to roam or run off); parents who insist there is a "one-size-fits-all" solution to handling runners/dashers; and most of all, people who say (flat out - or in a round-about way) that children in harnesses are being treated like dogs..

That's my story - and I'm stickin' to it..

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I do think that when a parent loses a young child that it is the parent's/s' fault. You either keep a kid close to you or you don't take them to places where you cannot manage them.

I never said my way is the only correct way. But it certainly is the only correct way in my opinion based on my experience/knowledge.

Work in Fantasyland sometime. It happens a lot quicker than you think. I have so many memories of the kids who got lost while they were holding their parents hand! It's a very crowded place and kids are overloaded with stimulation. I remember very clearly one three year old. It was at Philharmagic and the father noticed he still had his glasses. He told the child to put the glasses away. Stood there and watched the child- it was distance of maybe three feet. People walked in between them and the child was gone! In the space of five minutes (during Wishes no less- a very crowded time) he made it from the middle of Fantasyland to Frontierland. We picked him up at Liberty Trader covered in stickers with not a care inthe world. This was a "good kid."

Another parent that sticks out is a family with two little girls- about 2 and 5. The 5 year old was holding daddy's hand, it was obvious they were attentive parents, but she still got lost. Most likely she saw something that made her stop and her parents did not realize immediately that she had let go of their hand. The parents were absolutely besides themselves. They wanted us to close the gates because they were sure their daughter had been kidnapped.

You can be the best parent in the world and still lose a kid- particularly in overcrowded, unfamiliar situations. If I have kids, they will be going on leashes at WDW. I used to not like them until I worked there. I never once helped a "lost parent" who had a harness on their child.

You also don't know that family. Does that kid have special needs? I teach special ed and I have had students who are runners, who due to their disabilitiy have absolutely no concept of safety. Sometimes for these kids it is a necessary tool because it keeps them safe. Don't judge these parents unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I'm truly awed by the venom. I expressed my views and truly, I respect everyone's right to make any parental choice as they see fit as long as its in the confines of general morality and the law. Just like this thread is swimming in judgment (on both sides - and I am including myself), there is judgement in the real world. Would I ever give a parent holding a leash attached to a child a dirty word? Of course not. A dirty look? No way. I'm busy watching/enjoying my own kids and truly, its a free country and I have far too many more serious causes to champion. No where did I say that leashes should be banned or that parents are "bad" for using them. Takes more than a leash to make a parent "bad". But I disagree with them. I think that for normal, healthy (defiant or 'runner' counts as normal and healthy to me) children, leashes are not appropriate. I would never use one. I do not take my kids to places that are obviously unsafe for me to navigate alone with them (and yes, ANY place can be unsafe, but if we're basing the argument on that, should we EVER leave the house? Why are we not wrapping the kids in bubblewrap? Why not 24/7 helmets??). I have the number of kids that I can handle and I will not be having any more. I have made choices in my life that enable me to be the type of parent that I strive to be (even if I fall short some days).

I bolded these two comments because you say with one breath that you will not critise parents who need to use a harness and then do that by suggesting that their children are not normal or that they have too many children. Parents do what they can, my sister for example had triplets so used harnesses on them in your world should she have terminated 2 of them so she didn't have more children than she could handle? As for not rolling your eyes from your comments I bet you do just that.

 

[jax677]

We used a wrist harness on my oldest when she was little, that was 21 years ago. We got many nasty looks because it just wasn't common back then. But we chose what worked for us, piece of mind is a wonderful thing. We never had to use it on our second child because she was content with staying with us and never got into the game of hiding while mommy tried to find her.

Its funny how judge-mental people can be about something they don't have the need for.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have the number of kids that I can handle and I will not be having any more. I have made choices in my life that enable me to be the type of parent that I strive to be (even if I fall short some days).

Some people should not have too many...