Middle school racial remarks? Should I say something?

[lisaviolet]

Never said she was a spokesperson. But you all seemed to have decided that the term isn't acceptable. That makes you all a spokesperson, doesn't it?

It wasn't directed solely at you, by me with my thoughts on spokesperson. I HATE the dynamic that goes on with non-minorities in general mhsjax - although I am one in Toronto if it's white as a whole we look at for that. since we're way over 50% non-white. Anyway, I have no clue if you're white but I do hate, in general terms, that we take one word and it's the gospel with thoughts on minority issues. It's what whites do for the most part. But that's just me. Look the discussion that joiv__ and I and another poster had on it. It was enlightening for both of us, I believe.

Not at all mhsjax on the bold. It makes me someone who listens to a myriad of biracial people in my environment. And respects their words HERE - and many are from the Caribbean (born there like you're friend - so I am taking in her thoughts as well now). Not one but many. And it makes me a person who reads a lot on issues and studied history. No sarcasm, just explaining. And doesn't think one person's look at it is the final and only word. And opened my mind with joiv______ posts to another country's outlook and thoughts and background on the word.

 

[glammadiva]

Its not racist as your son is white.

If it was the other way you'd have a case.

Sorry, racism and bigotry crosses all races and ethnicies. It is all wrong.

 

[glammadiva]

They are the black kids parents

Predominantly black schools are usually in poor areas with little funding.



If this was a black kid being called too dark you wouldn't be calling him a cry baby. You would be saying omg what a victim something should be done about this racist.

Like button!

 

[TLSnell1981]

.

I wonder how a word, not from the English language, has become a word with "racist undertones" in this country, when, in the latin countries where it originates, it is not.

Some folks are offended by anything and everything, that might be considered a slight or insult. They also believe in "code words". Common sense has fled the building!

 

[lisaviolet]

. She is several races blended together.
.

Just an aside:

Just want to point out - as black people are just seen as black - but most are many races blended together. Not talking openly/visually mixed adults/children that people see that way as biracial. Talking about people who are thought of solely as black.

Ie. Michele Obama probably has white in her lineage. It's in the hair. And it's very common to have some other race involved etc. somewhere. We just don't see it that way.


Interesting.

 

[lisaviolet]

Some folks are offended by anything and everything, that might be considered a slight or insult. They also believe in "code words". Common sense has fled the building!

It's nothing to do with common sense.

 

[glammadiva]

Thanks for your comments.

I was born here, raised here, educated here but raised with my cultural customs in a very diverse South Florida. I had never heard the term mulatto as being considered racist (in fact its used as a term of endearment at times) so I can understand that others might not either.. Go Figure.. I love that cuban song Cuba Mulata Linda !!

I'm in S. Fla too! Love the diversity - hate the traffic.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

OP here again. Thanks for the input and the interesting discussion. DS had a much better day at school today. He's finding some nice kids to eat lunch with and to shoot hoops with before school.
We came to the decision that we'll give it a bit longer and see if it escalates. He believes he can learn to handle the current level of meanness but if it gets worse we'll make an appointment and see the advisor together.

FYI, this is not a high-performing school, more like average, and it's improving dramatically year to year.

 

[lisaviolet]

OP here again. Thanks for the input and the interesting discussion. DS had a much better day at school today. He's finding some nice kids to eat lunch with and shoot hoops before school with. That helps.
We came to the decision that we'll give it a bit longer and see if it escalates. He believes he can learn to handle the current level of meanness but if it gets worse we'll make an appointment and see the advisor together.

FYI, this is not high-performing school, more like average, and it's improving dramatically year to year.

All the best to you and to your son, Mrs. Malone.

 

[glammadiva]

OP here again. Thanks for the input and the interesting discussion. DS had a much better day at school today. He's finding some nice kids to eat lunch with and shoot hoops before school with. That helps.
We came to the decision that we'll give it a bit longer and see if it escalates. He believes he can learn to handle the current level of meanness but if it gets worse we'll make an appointment and see the advisor together.

FYI, this is not high-performing school, more like average, and it's improving dramatically year to year.[/QUOTE

Kudos to DS and you too mom! I was tormented terribly in 3rd grade. Won't go into details, but my chief tormentor ended up one of my best friends when she found herself plopped into my Saturday CCD class when her mom married a Catholic.

 

[TLSnell1981]

It's nothing to do with common sense.

Sense isn't very common anymore, so there lies a big part of the problem. Genuine kindness, concern, tolerance and understanding are in very short supply too.

 

[violetrose]

I haven't read all the responses but as a teacher and a mother I would urge you to stay out of it especially since you said the remarks were made in fun. Kids call each other names like that playfully now. They say cracker and the n word, but ending in an "a". I was horrified when I heard it the first time but now I realize it's just a form of slang this generation of kids use. Now if it was used in a threatening manner I might urge you take action but since you said it wasn't, and your son is a little sensitive, then maybe just have a talk. By the way it's great you admitted your child was a little sensitive. You sound like a great parent, able to look at all sides. As an experienced teacher I can tell you that doesn't happen all that often.

 

[CPT Tripss]

Prejudice and bigotry don't necessarily equate to racism. Putting it simply, Racism is Prejudice plus Power.


"Racism couples the false assumption that race determines psychological and cultural traits with the belief that one race is superior to another."
--A World of Difference project of the Anti-Defamation League of B'nai Brith

"Racism is any attitude, action, or institutional structure which subordinates a person or group because of skin color."
--U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, 1970

"We define racism as an institutionalized system of economic, political, social, and cultural relations that ensures that one racial group has and maintains power and privilege over all others in all aspects of life. Individual participation in racism occurs when the objective outcome of behavior reinforces these relations, regardless of the subjective intent."
--Carol Brunson Phillips and Louise Derman-Sparks in Teaching/Learning Anti-Racism: A Developmental Approach, (Teachers College Press, 1997)

"Racism is based on prejudice toward so-called racial groups. But racism goes beyond simple prejudice. What makes racism so powerful and destructive is that the negative prejudice is the basis for discrimination against "racial groups." The discrimination can take place in the job market, housing market, educational system, health care service system, or some other arena.

What this definition of racism implies is that one group has the power to discriminate against another."
-- American Psychological Association

 

[moon]

Who says you can't find love on the internet?

 

[old lady]

Yes, you should report it as bullying.

 

[lisaviolet]

Genuine kindness, concern, tolerance and understanding are in very short supply too.

Well then - in that we are in complete agreement.

 

[ironpig70]

What?

Pretty simple if I deny a white kid from college/job and allow a person other than white to take it we call it affirmative action.

If I deny a person other than white a job/college and give it to a white person its racism.


A white guy beats a minority its a hate crime. A minority beats a white guy its a beating.

Pretty simple if you are white and its against you its not racism. If you say something derogatory it is racism.

 

[WDWJDS]

Pretty simple if I deny a white kid from college/job and allow a person other than white to take it we call it affirmative action.

If I deny a person other than white a job/college and give it to a white person its racism.

A white guy beats a minority its a hate crime. A minority beats a white guy its a beating.

Pretty simple if you are white and its against you its not racism. If you say something derogatory it is racism.

What is it called when the top colleges deny Asians so that some white people can get a spot? If the Ivy League only admitted students based on standardized test scores and GPA and high school course rigor, I suppose more white people would be up in arms because the racial balance would probably be extremely eschewed.

Is it sexism when colleges started admitting more women to balance out the sexes more evenly years ago?

I believe that if a person of color beats a white person BECAUSE of their color (or lack thereof), that could, or would legally be a hate crime, even if society may not call it that?

 

[Colleen27]

I would, you know they would. But I too would not have mine in that school if it were a public school.

Same here, but probably for different reasons. I wouldn't send my kids at that age to any school where they'd be in a small minority, whether racially or ethnically or economically. The middle school years are hard enough without being obviously different from the vast majority of the student body. I wouldn't send them to the prep school you mentioned either, for the same reason.

I haven't read all the responses but as a teacher and a mother I would urge you to stay out of it especially since you said the remarks were made in fun. Kids call each other names like that playfully now. They say cracker and the n word, but ending in an "a". I was horrified when I heard it the first time but now I realize it's just a form of slang this generation of kids use. Now if it was used in a threatening manner I might urge you take action but since you said it wasn't, and your son is a little sensitive, then maybe just have a talk. By the way it's great you admitted your child was a little sensitive. You sound like a great parent, able to look at all sides. As an experienced teacher I can tell you that doesn't happen all that often.

This would be my first response too. If there was actual bullying or ostracizing going on, I'd step in. But middle schoolers, especially boys, have a pretty rough way of talking even affectionately and I think it is important not to overreact before sorting out whether or not it is good-natured ribbing that we're more sensitive to because we think more deeply about racism (or sexism, or homophobia, etc) than they do at that age.

 

[JVL1018]

Same here, but probably for different reasons. I wouldn't send my kids at that age to any school where they'd be in a small minority, whether racially or ethnically or economically. The middle school years are hard enough without being obviously different from the vast majority of the student body. I wouldn't send them to the prep school you mentioned either, for the same reason.
.

My kids are a minority in their school(we're white). There are a lot of Asian kids and a lot of Hispanic kids, a bunch of white kids, a few Indian kids and a few black kids.
Middle school years have not been tough(DD is going into 8th grade), because she's white, or otherwise. Shes actually had a wonderful middle school experience.
It's really been a non issue. The only time it's ever a "thing" is when she gets attention because of her blue eyes, but it's positive attention.
The kids don't stick together based on their race/ethnicity.
My daughter's 2 best friends are white and Hispanic.
My son's 4 closest friends are white, white, black and Hispanic.
All of the above are nice kids from nice families.
The kids don't care what you are, maybe because they've grown up this way, and I think going to school where they aren't the white majority has been a positive, rather than a negative. I also think my kids are getting a stellar education.
Just my experience.