Lunch out with co-workers

[havaneselover]

Every once in a while (mainly when the bosses are traveling) the office goes out to lunch. It's a pretty small office and I like all of my co-workers. I generally decline because I don't want to spend the money ($10-$15) but I'm the only one who doesn't go. They know I'm a single mom and careful with my money, but it still seems like they think I'm crazy for not going. Am I being silly not going? I just have so many better uses for my money.

 

[morgan98]

Silly for not going, no? I also understand not wanting to spend a lot of money eating lunch out. I generally bring snacks/lunch everyday.

However, unless it is going to bankrupt you, I think this is something you may want to do every once in awhile. I think it is good to build some relationships with co-workers, especially if you generally like them.

 

[havaneselover]

Silly for not going, no? I also understand not wanting to spend a lot of money eating lunch out. I generally bring snacks/lunch everyday.

However, unless it is going to bankrupt you, I think this is something you may want to do every once in awhile. I think it is good to build some relationships with co-workers, especially if you generally like them.

It won't bankrupt me. I just got hit with a bunch of big expenses recently (13 year old dog needed emergency surgery, dd went on a travel trip with her swim team, my deck had to be cleaned and stained, etc.) but it seems like it's always that way. Every time I get a raise and think I have some breathing room, major stuff comes up (not that this is unique to me). So I feel guilty spending unnecessarily.

 

[Ngwira]

I think it's good to go once in awhile. It builds camaraderie. If you always decline, your co workers may think you don't like them or have a problem with them. That being said, make sure that when you do go, you stress to them that you cannot afford to eat out often. They should absolutely understand.

 

[Minnesota!]

I would make it a point to go every other time and just forgo something else that week to cover, if need be.

I know it gets spendy...we do a meal out as a team 1x a month and it averages about $10 a trip. That's $120/year I coudl save. But, I think sometimes you just have to spend the money.

 

[HM]

The ladies I work with go out to eat a couple times a week together. I go once in a blue moon. I don't think you should feel bad about not going.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Only you know your finances. I hope they would respect that. I had to go to lunches when working. I always kept my distance, glad I did, someone always managed to call HR for something. At least I could honestly say I did not hear or say anything. Not that this would happen to you. But just be honest with them , they either accept it or don't. Would they be happy to a potluck once in a while where you may be able to contribute with out breaking your budget?

 

[Gr8t Fan]

I would go 1-2x a year and decline the other invitations. That way you're participating with the group, but it won't break the bank.

 

[mondragon]

You should really go once in a while. We go out a lot in my office and there is one person who refuses to go. Even though I know he a nice guy everyone thinks he wants nothing to do with anyone else in the office. It's a great way to bond with your co workers and let off some steam.

 

[willowsnn3]

My dd has the same issues at her job. She has only been there 6 months and makes less than at her previous job (company moved up north) but she likes that it is only 2 miles from home and she can go home for lunch if she wants.
She is also a single mom with an older home and older car that are beginning to need repairs.
The 2 other ladies in her office have lunch from 12--1 and go out every day. DD has lunch 1--2 as does her supervisor. Her supervisor wants her to go to lunch every day with her. We're not talking Mickey D's or Wendy's. Its always Cracker Barrel, Longhorn, Red Lobster etc...
She tries to go with her once a week to keep in good graces, lol.

 

[stitchfan75]

Working ladies that lunch...
We go out at least once a week but it's usually the local taco place or the food trucks that park by this old historic house by our hospital. Most of the time I either bring my lunch or go to the cafeteria. My co-worker never brings lunch but never pressures anyone to go out with her. My manager always brings her lunch unless we schedule on Outlook that we are going out.
The most expensive lunch was when one of the physician's wanted to go to Tim Love's Smokehouse in downtown. It set me back $25 just for me and the food wasn't even that good!

 

[LJSquishy]

I don't think you should feel bad about not going. If you feel like going once and a blue moon, go for it, and if not, don't worry about it. It might be fun for you to go with them occasionally as a treat if that is how you want to spend your money.

My husband and I feel like everyone else is always trying to spend our money (not intentionally on their part so I don't mean it in a rude way) so we've learned to say no. It's always someone's birthday, etc and we just can't afford to give to everyone. My husband brings his own lunch to work every day unless we're out of food so every once and a while he'll go out to eat with coworkers and it really adds up, even at $7 per trip. We even make our own lattes at home and he makes himself one every morning but over the last several months he's been buying a 2nd one mid-day and at over $3 each THAT really adds up! His supervisors make a LOT more money than he does also so for them it's a drop in the bucket, but for us on only one income it can make a big dent in the budget and I think people forget that sometimes.

 

[havaneselover]

Thanks everyone! I'm the only one with kids in the office so most of the others have a lot more money for discretionary purposes. I did suggest doing games at lunch on Friday (we are geeky, introverted data people) and I'd bake cookies but that never got off the ground. I do have daily conversations with all of my coworkers so they know I'm not trying to avoid them just stressed about money right now but maybe next time they go I won't have had so many large expenses hit me at once.

 

[Narnia_girl]

I also don't think you should feel bad for not eating out.
Do they go to chain restaurants? If so, you could earn gift cards on Swagbucks or Bing. Or buy from the discounted card sites, that way if you do go occasionally, it's not costing as much.

 

[havaneselover]

I also don't think you should feel bad for not eating out.
Do they go to chain restaurants? If so, you could earn gift cards on Swagbucks or Bing. Or buy from the discounted card sites, that way if you do go occasionally, it's not costing as much.

No, we are in the business district of a mid size city (Richmond) so it's mostly small independent restaurants. Usually when I eat out it is because I have a gift card

 

[tvguy]

Not silly at all. That can add up to a lot more money than folks think. Money that you would rather spend somewhere else.

I have to admit the whole concept of an entire department being able to take their lunch break at the same time is something I have never experienced. And being able to get to a restaurant, order, eat and get back on time has to be stressful.

 

[havaneselover]

Not silly at all. That can add up to a lot more money than folks think. Money that you would rather spend somewhere else.

I have to admit the whole concept of an entire department being able to take their lunch break at the same time is something I have never experienced. And being able to get to a restaurant, order, eat and get back on time has to be stressful.

As long as we don't have a deadline and no one is coming to the office, we can all leave at the same time.

 

[kirstenb1]

Richmonder here too! When I worked, I always packed my lunch. I just hate spending money on going out to eat. However, I always tried to immediately sign up for any potlucks, group gifts, showers etc. I had great co-workers, but going out just isn't my thing, so I can relate.

 

[crisi]

I'd go once in a while. Why? Because its an investment in your professional network. If your company were to go under or get sold (happens all the time) and you were to find yourself out of a job with your other coworkers, your network will come into play in getting you the next job. More than half of my jobs have been because I knew someone. Always passing on lunch can leave coworkers with the impression you don't like them.

 

[lbmiller77]

Every once in a while (mainly when the bosses are traveling) the office goes out to lunch. It's a pretty small office and I like all of my co-workers. I generally decline because I don't want to spend the money ($10-$15) but I'm the only one who doesn't go. They know I'm a single mom and careful with my money, but it still seems like they think I'm crazy for not going. Am I being silly not going? I just have so many better uses for my money.

I'm in the same position. I'm a single mom and really can't justify spending that kind of money every week going out. My department goes out for lunch every Friday. I join them approximately once every two months, but have made it clear that I financially can't go out that often. All of my co-workers are single or recently married with no children but they seem to understand my situation. While I agree with others that it is a great way to get to know your co-workers, I feel my work and the relationship I've created with my co-workers while on the clock is more important than bonding over a meal.