Long Trip with Teenager

[skorpie]

Our DD has been going only with parents since she was 4. She usually is OK with everything except when it came to playing in the pools. I always felt sorry for her but she is a trooper and dealt with being an only child. For her 18th birthday we offered to give her a big party but when I suggested that we could take 2 friends as her gift instead, that is what she opted for! We will be in WDW from 7/5-7/10 and she is sooooo excited to have friends to share things with, she is constantly talking about it. We are footing the entire bill. We would have spent about the same amount giving her a birthday bash. I hope the girls all leave their "attitudes" at home! We'll see!

 

[wildernessDad]

First of all, I would not pay a cent for your daughter's friend other than, perhaps, the room. So, don't pay for any tickets, food, etc. You might spring for tickets, the dining plan and other goodies and then your daughter's friend cancels on you at the last minute.

Maybe that will rule out her coming.

 

[iloveokw]

No, No, No....... We have an only DD 17 yes once in awhile she has thought it would be fun to take a friend.....then she realize that we couldn't do what WE want to do when we want to, eat where we want to....

I'll never forget years ago when we were at a resort a Williamsburg and a mom at the pool told me "I don't know who I want to kill first my daughter or her friend".

Vacation is for family. If she doesn't want to go leave her at home - not alone but with someone who is NO FUN.

 

[nappingbeauty]

The nice thing about dvc is we PLAN in advance. For the last couple of years we have allowed our children to bring a friend. this year we are bringing four!!! If you are booking eleven months in advance... I actually invite the kids the month before we book.. .hence a year in advance... and I outline all costs. Dont' forget.. at disney the park tickets only increase a few dollars per day after a certain point. This trip with a total of six kids and myself and husband we are cooking in the room with an exception of one dinner out and one character breakfast. However in the past we have also done the dining plan when staying five nights. This trip is twelve so it is out of the question. During our stay... we spend time together, yes all of us.. plus each of us go our different ways in groups. Not everyone likes the same things... but meals are always together.

Planning so far in advance... you can pretty much outline to the perspective guest and their family exactly the type of costs involved and what to expect. This allows them plenty of time to save and budget. We have never had a problem. But also... we have only invited children who we already know well and have been previous guests in our home so we know how they behave.

We have a few visits traveled alone with just our two children... who at least had each other to entertain... but an only child... as much as you love them... need the company of other children.

You are the best judge of your family dynamics... but take it from one mom who has DD graduation this year... and DS I am afraid who will be there in a blink of an eye.... I would much rather have them with me accompanied by a friend... than to not have them with me at all!!!

 

[mouseclick1]

Ah, but the rest of the days, they just may be off by themselves leaving just the two of you. Earplugs might help though.


But he is planning his HS grad trip where we've told him he could bring a group of kids along (we'll get a two bedroom for that trip) and have fun. Kids would have to pay for their own tickets and transportation (other than who we might fit in the car with us), but we'd cover the lodging and food at the villa and perhaps a dinner together in the parks. He's got a year to plan on who to bring so we can make the reservation 11 months out at OKW.

We did that last year for my son's senior trip. DH, myself, and 8 teenage boys. The boys had a great time, and they provided almost non-stop entertainment for me and DH the whole trip! My other son is a senior this year, and we are doing it once again. Only 4 teenagers this time around, since older DS is now in college.

I guess it depends on who you bring, but I think bringing along a friend now and then can be a lot of fun. The nice thing is that since we are DVC, we have been often enough that we have still had many "family only" trips with just the four of us. To the OP, if you can work it out, I would try to bring the friend along. If you can't, maybe plan something a little extra special, like Cirque du Soleil or something along those lines?

I'm sure you'll have fun either way!

 

[patsal]

"She's 15 get used to a little disapointment and remember that in a few years you will get your loving daughter back."

Truer words were never spoken! LOL! Mom of DD17 and DD21...
That's a rough age 13-16 My DD17 was sitting on the couch watching tv with me the other day , out of the blue she smiles reaches over and gives me a kiss on the cheek... me: "what's up now..something going on?" ..she: "nope, hadn't told ya in awhile I love ya"

So there is hope, boy is it a rocky time, but I had to learn it's not personal, just them trying to figure out how to grow up!

We've done trips with both, brought friends, and gone just family. Attitudes happen either way, I give a couple options I'm ok with, them it's their choice, I move on.

Whatever you decide to do, have a great trip!!!

So you're telling me there is hope that my 17 yo DS will turn back into a real human! I am so trying to be patient, but I am about to lose it! LOL
I'm planning on "torturing" him one last time in July--hopefully he can deal with it!

 

[BWV Dreamin]

So you're telling me there is hope that my 17 yo DS will turn back into a real human! I am so trying to be patient, but I am about to lose it! LOL
I'm planning on "torturing" him one last time in July--hopefully he can deal with it!

Ha! Before you know it, he'll be closing the hot tub down!!(That's what one of mine did the whole trip!!!)

 

[patsal]

Vacation is for family. If she doesn't want to go leave her at home - not alone but with someone who is NO FUN.

Too funny, I have given my DS the option of staying with the oldest, most boring relatives I can find to take him in for three weeks--we planned a cruise to coincide with the two weeks we usually go. I think he feels the vacation will be a much better choice!

 

[disneygal55]

We alternate our vacation plans as much as possible...the beauty of DVC ownership. A year and a half ago my teenage DS's brought a mutual friend. They all had a great time and my DH and I enjoyed some "couple time" when the did their own thing. We have since gone again ...several times just my DH and I alone and also as a family with the kids. This June my now college age kids are bringing their girlfriends {one of which has never been to WDW}. The girls' parents are paying for their airline tickets, wdw passes and spending money. We supply the room and are paying for meals {we are in studios so no cooking}. My DS's and the girls can't wait...neither can I!

 

[minnierealtor]

I was laughing about the "15 year old calling the shots" comment. I do feel in control most of the time but there are moments when it is just easier to give in. Thank you for sharing your opinions and comments. Our Disney vacation has always been just family time and sometimes DD and I have gone alone to have girl time together. I am going to see if a cousin can go with us. If things get out of hand, I can yell at a family member and not feel to bad about it.

 

[edk35]

First of all, I would not pay a cent for your daughter's friend other than, perhaps, the room. So, don't pay for any tickets, food, etc. You might spring for tickets, the dining plan and other goodies and then your daughter's friend cancels on you at the last minute.

Maybe that will rule out her coming.

I agree. If I ever did this. I would insist that the person coming pay their airfare/park passes.....that way if they back out....
IT IS THEIR DIME and it is insuring more than likely... this person will not cancel at the last minute.

 

[Misty89]

"She's 15 get used to a little disapointment and remember that in a few years you will get your loving daughter back."

Truer words were never spoken! LOL! Mom of DD17 and DD21...
That's a rough age 13-16 My DD17 was sitting on the couch watching tv with me the other day , out of the blue she smiles reaches over and gives me a kiss on the cheek... me: "what's up now..something going on?" ..she: "nope, hadn't told ya in awhile I love ya"

So there is hope, boy is it a rocky time, but I had to learn it's not personal, just them trying to figure out how to grow up!

We've done trips with both, brought friends, and gone just family. Attitudes happen either way, I give a couple options I'm ok with, them it's their choice, I move on.

Whatever you decide to do, have a great trip!!!

Could not agree more!
13 - 16 1/2 is the worst for a Girl and her Mother
we went through alot of hurt for while there, and it all got better one day....not kidding. one day and i had my sweet sweet girl back. She is now 17 1/2 and is such a wonderful young lady. ( there were times i wondered what i did wrong parenting) so yes, it does get alot better.
We went to WDW when she was 13, and she was miserable.
Now- we went this past month, and she had a blast, we have so many great photos and memories ( She and i had a mother daughter day alone while DH & DD9 hung out) and i am so happy we had a great time, as this will most likely be the last trip to WDW as a complete family ( unless for some reason she wants to join us in another 5 years )

If your DD truly does not want to go, and you cannot bring a friend along for her could she stay w/ grandparents or someone while you and DH went alone?

hang in there you will get your sweet girl back in a few years.
pray for me LOL : i have to go through this one more time


Tina

 

[Rigatoni]

I was laughing about the "15 year old calling the shots" comment. I do feel in control most of the time but there are moments when it is just easier to give in. Thank you for sharing your opinions and comments. Our Disney vacation has always been just family time and sometimes DD and I have gone alone to have girl time together. I am going to see if a cousin can go with us. If things get out of hand, I can yell at a family member and not feel to bad about it.

You shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself to any self-appointed parenting authority.

Personally, I think a week and a half with just your parents and no friends or siblings is probably a miserable prospect for most 15 year olds. I have two boys (13 and 15) who bicker at home but who (thankfully) connect when we vacation. We were down there for a week last month, and the two of them had a ball park hopping by themselves. Hail to the cell phone.

If my husband and I were going on a long trip and it was just the 15 year old, I would definitely try to figure out a way he could bring a friend.

 

[BroganMc]

I just booked a trip to WDW from June 14-23 at SSR. My DH and I are super excited that we are able to stay for longer than our usual week but DD 15 is not as excited. She wants to bring a friend but I'm sure her friend's parents are not going to pay large amount to pay for park tickets etc and we can't afford to pay for them either. We are doing the drive and cook in the room trip this time. Up until now, DD has been ok with just the family but I don't want her to be unhappy the entire trip either. Any suggestions from other teen parents on how they handle this. Thanks!

I've just been watching this thread with great interest. My nieces and nephews are about 2-3 years away from that angsty teen stage. What I can remember of my own was frequent trips to OC over the summer and nowhere else. My sibs and I each got a chance to bring a friend or two down for a weekend. It was hectic but my grandmother had a way of keeping everyone straight. Leave your clothes out and you'd catch her on the way to pitching them off the balcony.

From how you talk about your daughter giving you attitude now, I wonder why you don't leave her at home with a grandparent. My parents started taking "work trips" about the time we hit our teens. I always wondered why they opted for a week or two alone in Hawaii or California. Boy were they smart.

Good luck with the cousin!

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

We've brought one of DS friends when he was 15. We were staying for 2 weeks, DS and friend flew in for week 2. It was fine. Not always great but fine.

This year we are taking DD 16 and DDBF 15 and can't wait. We've known her since kindergarten and it will be her fist WDW trip. I was apprehensive about discussing cost but her parents were terrific about it. They couldn't have made it easier.

We told them what kind of pass was needed (definitely park hopper!) and how many days. Her mom came up with a dollar amount for meals that's reasonable. We'll pay for some special sit down meals but that's okay.

We'll have a letter authorizing medical treatment JIC and emergency numbers (got to love the cell phones). We moms have already discussed rules and we'll do it again with the girls together right before we go.

Confession ; DH and I are also bringing friends!! Our best man and his wife are flying in from Vegas to join us for 1 of the weeks. Wife has never been to anything Disney and husband only went to MK when he was in high school.
Can't wait and we're just dying to introduce them to Mickey and Minnie meet Mike and Mindy - how cute is that!

 

[Lisa P.]

We've been taking along friends of our kids on our timeshare vacations for several years. When they reached ~14-15 years old, we started taking their friends, for only short stays at first, 3 days or so. Before letting the kids make an offer, we told them the ground rules. We'd provide ground transportation, lodging and groceries for in-room meals. Sightseeing, food bought out and souvies were at their and their friends' own expense.

They and their friends were expected to be extra considerate of siblings and siblings' guests, understanding that a larger crowd results in more complicated socializing. There would be NO disrespect toward us nor of our rules. Everyone had to be in the condo by age-approp curfew unless they were with us, parents. Quiet time (no tvs, music, cell calls, etc.) was between 1AM and 8AM. No going off alone nor ditching anyone alone and each group had to call us on cell phones whenever plans changed to keep us informed or ask permission in advance. Everyone must shower daily, use deodorant, keep their own possessions out of everyone else's ways, hang up their own wet swimsuits, keep track of their own bath towels and put their own dishes into the dishwasher. After chaperoning several youth camp trips with our church, we knew which rules needed to be spelled out in advance and these were them!

Not once in 6 years did we have a problem with a young guest that could not be handled with a brief and simple reminder. It wasn't long before friends were coming along for full week trips. Our kids only invited friends that they knew they'd enjoy with this much togetherness, and who they knew would not have a problem with house rules. They have been great guests, most very, very flexible. Several have surprised us by how much they seemed to enjoy family time, with an evening of group board games and an in-room movie night. We've given them a fair amount of freedom to spend time on their own so they did spend a little less time with us but we still enjoyed the closeness of our family. I think it's worth trying for some trips.

BTW, ILoveMyDVC, DH and I met at a campground in your town, Hope Valley, RI, in 1977. It was called Whispering Pines. There was a nice little bake shop out at the main road, where my father went each day to get the newspaper and some pastries for breakfast. We were both from other states. What great memories of our first meeting that weekend.... chatting in the lifeguard chair with a full moon above the lil' swimmin' hole. We later added a couple nights of camping there to the end of our honeymoon too.

 

[ILoveMyDVC]

BTW, ILoveMyDVC, DH and I met at a campground in your town, Hope Valley, RI, in 1977. It was called Whispering Pines. There was a nice little bake shop out at the main road, where my father went each day to get the newspaper and some pastries for breakfast. We were both from other states. What great memories of our first meeting that weekend.... chatting in the lifeguard chair with a full moon above the lil' swimmin' hole. We later added a couple nights of camping there to the end of our honeymoon too.

It's still here...just a few miles down the road. We almost bought a house within a 1/2 mile to the campground.

Were you kids, teenagers or adults when you first met?

If you don't mind, I'm going to 'borrow' some of your wisdom. You listed a few things that I'd like to add to our standard speech.

Being able to bring other people along is one of the very best parts of being a DVC owner.

 

[Lisa P.]

After posting, I realized it was 1978. LOL! Anyway, he was 18 and I was 15. Coincidentally, I had friends along with our family on that trip and DH was camping with his friend's family! Back on topic.....

 

[dopeygirl76]

Two thoughts - when I was 15 a friends family took me to the beach - something my family could not have afforded to do and I still am grateful for that experience - many years later!! That said I have younger sisters who are 16 and 20 and on our trips they have always have the option to bring a friend with the rules laid down before hand. What we pay for, what is expected of them and I guess because I think I'm the cool big sister I also have talked to whomever we are taking openly. Things have always worked out great!!!

And as others have said - it won't be long before family is not so embarassing!!