Regarding meals in the clubs, the staff no longer takes the children to the buffet, at least on the Magic. We were told that too many parents complained about their children not being in the clubs when they went to pick them up, so the kids never leave anymore, not to go to lunch or dinner, not to visit the "secret" deck, not to play ball on the sports court. I think that is a shame, since the kids are far more limited in food selections (my son didn't eat lunch one day because he doesn't like macaroni and cheese, and that was what was offered. We were on the ship but at Palo or something while he had lunch there), and since there is less variety of activities possible. The transitions and locations had been clearly marked on the Navigators, so parents who needed to find their kids should have been able to do easily. The club staff who told us about this change was upset because she had really enjoyed taking the kids to different areas on the ship for various activities.
I think everyone should make his or her own decision about whether and when to leave children in the clubs, and I don't think one decision makes any parent better than another. To respond to the concern about what happens if your child is on the ship and something awful happens to you in port, my first thought is that if something awful happened to me in port, like a tragic fatal taxi accident, I would rather my children be safe in the club! I would rather them have to be cared for by Disney staff for a day or two until my sister could fly to the next port and assume care than for them to be dead with me! If I were not dead and were conscious enough to communicate, I trust that I could get communication to the ship and arrange for my children to be cared for in the way that made most sense, depending on the extent of my injuries, etc. I usually do take my kids with me in ports, but I would have every confidence that if the kind of awful emergency that people most fear occurred, Disney would come through and do as well as possible in handling the situation. I do think it's wise for Disney to have some emergency contact info for each child in case something happens to parents on or off the ship, but I can't remember whether they ask for that or not. We usually travel with extended family, so in those cases they do have other people linked to our reservation to contact. I think even without them Disney could also probably track down emergency contacts with police help if needed, but collecting that information ahead of time would probably be wise.
