Leaving our 2 year old at home?? Opinions

[whithouston]

Ok everyone. Need your opinions/advice. We currently have 3 cruises booked (Dec. 2010, Feb. 2011, June 2011.) An opportunity has arisen where our son (2 years old) can stay with my brother, sister-in-law, and 2 nieces for the February cruise. We are going with some close friends of ours on the Feb. cruise, so I am personally 100% for an adults only trip and leaving our son with my brother's family while we are gone. My wife isn't sure about leaving him. It isn't that she doesn't trust brother's family, she is just unsure of leaving him for a week and not taking him on a Disney Cruise.

She hasn't left him for an entire week (we have a travel day, 2 days at WDW, and a 4 night cruise.) I am trying to convince her that it will be good for us and that we won't be leaving him out of the fun since he will have already gone on a cruise in December and another one next summer.

I think it will be good for us to get away for a bit and be able to enjoy each other and the friends cruising with us. When I first mentioned this, all she kept saying was for me to put it on the DISBoards and see what everyone said about it. I put it on my Facebook page tonight and everyone single person said for us to go. I am just trying to show her the benefit of having a "just us" cruise and being able to have a trip where we do what we want to do. I am also trying to convince her that our son will have just as much fun with his 9 and 13 year old cousins!

What does everyone think? What advise/thoughts do you have for my wife and me?

Thanks!!

Scott

 

[peachygreen]

My personal opinion is that I wouldn't leave my 2 year old for a week. Of course with that said I haven't left my 4 year old overnight with anyone but my DH or myself so that might be a skewed perspective. Honestly it wasn't until my DD was close to 2 that I started doing overnight work trips again and I was leaving her with my DH at night.

I might feel differently I guess about taking a vacation sans kids if I didn't work, but when I take a vacation from work I really want the time with my kids. I don't get enought kid time as it is with the crazy work schedule I keep.

But with that said I know people take vacations without their kids all the time, I'm just not ready to do so yet. I'd especially have a hard time doing it on a Disney Cruise as I know my kids would have so much fun. If it was someplace that was less kid friendly I might be more inclined to leave them with family I suppose.

 

[whithouston]

Thanks for the reply peachygreen! If we weren't already going on two other cruises, I would feel bad leaving him at home. My wife has only left him for a night, but it was with my brother's family, so I know she trusts them. I am hoping I can convince her!

 

[MissDaisyofTexas]

If you trust your family and you don't think your son would be too traumatized by being without you for a week, do it!

 

[capitalmom]

As long as you're both comfortable with the care arrangements for your little one, I would say go for it! At 2, your son won't remember the cruise and there will be lots of other opportunities for family vacations as he gets older... We've cruised twice without the kids (and have another short one booked next month), and it is the perfect relaxing vacation where busy parents get to relax, recharge and reconnect. It's always hard to leave them, but I also really appreciate the R&R - last time was just before I went back to work after 15 months at home with baby, and I didn't realize how much I needed a vacation until we actually did it. Cruising with the kids is great too, but definitely a different kind of experience... Last time DD#1 was 6 and DD#2 was a very active 11 month old) and it was pretty exhausting - granted it was not on DCL so there was not much for the littlest one to do... Next month we're heading off on RCCL with good friends who moved to another city last year (and we miss them terribly) so it will definitely be nice to reconnect and have some adult time. But don't feel too sorry for the kiddies - Nana will spoil them while we're gone, and we're taking them both on DCL in February!

 

[3smithboys]

DH and I are going on a 3 day cruise on the Dream to celebrate my 40th birthday in March without our 3 boys - they are 12, 7 and 7. We also have a cruise booked for all of us in August! At first DH said that he would never go to either WDW or on a Disney cruise without the kids because he would feel too guilty going somewhere he knew they would love.

BUT when he was planing somewhere to take me for my 40th, and we could only get away for a few days because we are both teachers...(he also know that I really don't care for the "older ships" and all of the other cruise lines sail older ships for short cruises.) Plus we LOVE DCL the best - and who wouldn't want to check out the DREAM earlier than planned!!!

So, he got over it. Actually, he asked them what they thought... and the boys were cool with it! They have been to Disney 6 times in the past 4 or 5 years and a Disney cruise.... we are taking them on another in August, so they are hardly deprived!

Don't feel guilty! Your little guy will be well taken care of....hey, you are lucky that you have someone willing to watch him - we barely can get 4 days!!! This will be the 2nd time in 18 years we will be getting away for a 3 day cruise - and we will be making the most of it! The first one was not a Disney cruise and it was fun, but after trying DCL - I want to go back!

 

[whithouston]

Next month we're heading off on RCCL with good friends who moved to another city last year (and we miss them terribly) so it will definitely be nice to reconnect and have some adult time.

We are in the same boat. The friends we are cruising with moved to Houston, TX (we are in GA) and we haven't seen them since this past Feb!

 

[whithouston]

At first DH said that he would never go to either WDW or on a Disney cruise without the kids because he would feel too guilty going somewhere he knew they would love.

we are both teachers...

Don't feel guilty! Your little guy will be well taken care of....hey, you are lucky that you have someone willing to watch him - we barely can get 4 days!!!

I am also a teacher and we have a full week off in February so that is how I am able to work it being out! My wife is the exact same way about wanting to take him so he isn't deprived. Our 2 year old is far from deprived. Next month will make his 7th trip to WDW and we have him booked on the December and June cruises we currently have booked! Hardly deprived...what do you think??

 

[3smithboys]

I am also a teacher and we have a full week off in February so that is how I am able to work it being out! My wife is the exact same way about wanting to take him so he isn't deprived. Our 2 year old is far from deprived. Next month will make his 7th trip to WDW and we have him booked on the December and June cruises we currently have booked! Hardly deprived...what do you think??

I think that he can miss this one then! You and your friends will have a great time... I'm sure that he will be fine. I know this topic is hotly debated on here... many people on both sides of the fence.

I guess if either you or she are going to spend the entire time looking at the kids and thinking that your son would be enjoying this or that and being upset that he is missing this or that then that might be a problem.... BUT if you can go and relax and enjoy your time together - I say go for it! (As a 2 year old, he really won't be missing that many activities on the cruise.)

 

[whithouston]

I like how you think 3smithboys!!!

 

[bibbidibobbidibecky]

Well you asked for opinions, so here's mine If you want to do an adult-only vacation, then do it...just not WDW and DCL! I have actually thought about if I could leave my kids and do it b/c I love the world and the cruise as much as they do, but there's no way I could do it. I would keep seeing things and wish they were with me to see it, too!

My husband and I just left our kids for a week for the FIRST time since our son was born--he's 7. And there is no way I could have, as a mom, left any of them when they were only 2.

But like I said, I'm all for some mommy and daddy time, I just personally couldn't do it on a trip I know my kids would love so much. We went to Brazil and it was for sure an adult-only trip...not for them.

 

[nextcruz]

The only thing that concerns me about leaving my kids while cruising is the limited communication and ability to get home quickly.

I know DCL has an 800# for emergency. I just worry about something happening on a sea day and not being able to get home for many hours or maybe days.

We leave our kids annually but it's always a short drive or flight away.

 

[pacomom]

DH and I left our son for a week when he was 2 (he's now 5) for a vacation on our own. We did not want to at the time, even dreaded it. But we were gifted the week and it was either go alone or lose the whole thing so we left him with family and felt guilty the whole time we planned, packed, etc.
We had a WONDERFUL trip! He had a WONDERFUL time with the family. He loved all the attention from his aunt and uncle and got to do all kinds of fun things. It was like a little vacation for him too and we had tons of pictures and stories to come home to. It was great and ended up being a great thing for all of us. Just thought I'd share.

 

[mickey7879]

I've left my 3 yr old son for 3 night once and only that long because I was in the hospital having a c/s with his brother. Before that we've left him for 2 nights at a time before. No way could I imagine leaving him for a week.

As a mom of a child around the same age, I'd say bring the child. While I understand your need to get away, maybe take a break for a couple of nights closer to home. That way your wife would be close by if she needed to get back to him. I just recently had my first night away from both kids ages 9 months and 3 yrs. It was the first time I was away from our 9 month old. Just the thought of being away from them (or even typing this about your situation) for a week gives me anxiety.

Sorry, I couldn't do it. I side with your wife.

 

[KSDisneyDad]

We almost always travel with our kids. Our kids have been to WDW about a dozen times each, DLR once and on 4 Disney cruises including a 15-night cruise through the Panama Canal.

However, we have also travelled without our kids and it's been very good to have an adults-only vacation.

The first trip was when our oldest two were were 4 and 2. We left them for a week with grandparents.

We did it again when the kids were 10, 8 and 3. Again, they spent time with the grandparents.

And we just did it about two weeks ago for a 20th Anniversary trip that sounds nearly identical to yours-- the kids are now 15, 13 and 8. Any guess on who watched them?

The kids weren't traumatized. We reminded them that they are very fortunate to understand what they're missing. Each time, we had made sure to give our parents everything they needed to take care of the kids in case of emergency. We had trip insurance just in case we had to return early.

We have friends who have two vacations a year - one with their kids and one without. We can't do that ourselves, but if we could financially, we would consider it as I think it's healthy for a marriage as it's good to have the together time without distractions. You can call your son each day, even from the ship.

ETA: There is no right or wrong answer for this. Parents in similar situations will answer differently. For example, some stay-at-home parents will not leave their kids to vacation and other stay-at-home parents enjoy spending vacations without their kids. On our vacation in 2004 we went with friends and the Mom had to call home constantly to check on the kids and talk to them. I don't think she enjoyed the trip at all as she constantly worried about the kids. If that's how your DW will be, then you're probably better off not leaving your DS at home as the trip won't be much fun.

 

[mickey7879]

We almost always travel with our kids. Our kids have been to WDW about a dozen times each, DLR once and on 4 Disney cruises including a 15-night cruise through the Panama Canal.

However, we have also travelled without our kids and it's been very good to have an adults-only vacation.

The first trip was when our oldest two were were 4 and 2. We left them for a week with grandparents.

We did it again when the kids were 10, 8 and 3. Again, they spent time with the grandparents.

And we just did it about two weeks ago for a 20th Anniversary trip that sounds nearly identical to yours-- the kids are now 15, 13 and 8. Any guess on who watched them?

The kids weren't traumatized. We reminded them that they are very fortunate to understand what they're missing. Each time, we had made sure to give our parents everything they needed to take care of the kids in case of emergency. We had trip insurance just in case we had to return early.

We have friends who have two vacations a year - one with their kids and one without. We can't do that ourselves, but if we could financially, we would consider it as I think it's healthy for a marriage as it's good to have the together time without distractions. You can call your son each day, even from the ship.

ETA: There is no right or wrong answer for this. Parents in similar situations will answer differently. For example, some stay-at-home parents will not leave their kids to vacation and other stay-at-home parents enjoy spending vacations without their kids. On our vacation in 2004 we went with friends and the Mom had to call home constantly to check on the kids and talk to them. I don't think she enjoyed the trip at all as she constantly worried about the kids. If that's how your DW will be, then you're probably better off not leaving your DS at home as the trip won't be much fun.

Haha! Yup! That would be me! I'm a stay at home mom!

 

[KSDisneyDad]

Haha! Yup! That would be me! I'm a stay at home mom!

And so is my DW. For over 15 years, she's been an extremely involved stay-at-home Mom who's very dedicated to our kid's and their daily routines - school, activities, etc. Yet she enjoys a break away once in awhile. Doesn't make either of you wrong, just different.

 

[lbuher]

I would do it in a heartbeat, but I definitely agree that it's very much dependent on your wife's personality/comfort level. We have two kids - ages 6 and 10 now - and we have left them several times with my husband's parents, and I don't think twice about it. My DH and I NEED the alone time to really reconnect, and I come back refreshed and ready to be a more patient, loving mom! I am soooooooo not a worrier, so the thought that something bad might happen honestly never even crosses my mind. We have fun, the kids have fun, and the grandparents have fun.... it's just a good thing, all the way around.

Having said that, I have a friend who is a neurotic worrier, and there is NO stinking way she could ever fully relax if she left her kids somewhere. She would constantly be thinking about how things are going at home, and she would ruminate about it, and she wouldn't be able to relax and have a good time, and it just would NOT be worth it. While I wholeheartedly believe it would be good for both her and her kids to do something like this.... it just would not be a good experience for her at all.

Which way would your DW lean?

 

[zoom8942]

i agree that there is no right or wrong answer to this. We leave our kids for a weekend every year for some us time.but personally I would have a hard time leaving for that long. Mostly because My dh and I both work full time, and I feel guilty leaving for any longer. But that being said you are taking other vacations for him to enjoy. Even I might take the opportunity( I just wouldnt tell the kids where I was going LOL they are older and think the world revolves around them!!!!) So I have been ABSOLUTELY NO HELP AT ALL!!! sorry

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

I agree that it depends on your comfort level with leaving him and being surrounded by Disney. If you or your wife are going to feel guilty the whole time and worry about him, then don't do it. But I am all for some adult time, particularly since you have 2 other cruises planned with him. Plus, he's too young to really get where you are going without him unless you are calling it to his attention. Personally, I think it's a great message to establish early that your marriage is important and time away as adults is a normal, natural thing to do that does not reflect a desire to get away from the kids but rather a desire to spend time together. It will be harder to break away for a vacation when he's older if it's something you've never done.