Laundromats and othe people's children

[Cobern]

Wow never did I think my comment would rise so much hatred!

1) I went to the laundromat when it would be dead, guess what I was right
2) the only other people I there were 1) lady cleaning half the floor and 2) creepy guy talking to me in Spanish and winking at me
3) I did try to corral my children and they were happy sitting in the empty laundry baskets. They only got out of them because I needed to use them to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer and to start more clothes in the washer. They never left my general area and NEVER interfered with the lady washing the floors
4) we live 30 miles from the laundromat. It's not like I could start a load and then take been go kids home to blow off steam.
5) I was TOTALLY creeped by the winking guy and just wanted to finish so I could leave and hopefully not have to deal with him again
6) they were only out and moving around for maybe 10 minutes and then I put them in the car with the hatch up and let them play with toys and climb all over the seats.
7) please don't judge people based on a small blurb they write. There is so much more that I don't tell people and since none of you were there you will never know the whole situation. I am not a perfect parent but I am trying my best while my husband works 70 hours a week.

I do want to say thank you for the very very very few of you who stood up for me and understand. Yes it was a very off day for us all. A lot is going on in our personal lives and I carry it over and don't always put my best foot forward while stressed

 

[crazyme5kids]

Abusive?!? Far from it. It is possible to have well behaved children without abusing them. DH was verbally abused by his mom and physically knocked around by his dad growing up and we've both seen the damage that has done to him. There is no way on this earth that we would do the same thing to our kids.

Did I say you were? Did I say that the only way to have well behaved kids is by abusing them? See there you go making assumptions .

As for the OP, I posted based upon an assumption and a judgement I made about the OP and her post. It was one snippet in the day of her life. She might have left the laundromat and gone about her day and did fifty wonderful kind things for some other children and adults.

Point is, it's easy to judge and make assumptions when we don't know someone.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Am I the only person who doesn't give a crap about kids running around a laundromat?

It's a frickin laundromat....

Geeze

 

[MSLRAC]

Did I say you were? Did I say that the only way to have well behaved kids is by abusing them? See there you go making assumptions . As for the OP, I posted based upon an assumption and a judgement I made about the OP and her post. It was one snippet in the day of her life. She might have left the laundromat and gone about her day and did fifty wonderful kind things for some other children and adults. Point is, it's easy to judge and make assumptions when we don't know someone.

You are the one who made the assumption that parents on this thread with well behaved kids were abusive. I did not call the PP a bad parent or lazy. I have simply said that the behavior in question would not be acceptable in my book and I don't like parents that make excuses for their kids constant misbehavior because they are unwilling to parent their own kids.

But I have to ask, what if the OP had come here and told us that she just got stitches, broke a bone, or got hurt in some other way because of an 8 year old running around the laundromat? Would so many of you still be saying well it's boring there and the kids can't be expected to sit still and I'd be playing tag with the kid? I doubt it. You'd be wanting to know where the parent was, why they weren't parenting their kid, and how could they think it was ok for kids to run around a place like that.

 

[Hannathy]

You are the one who made the assumption that parents on this thread with well behaved kids were abusive. I did not call the PP a bad parent or lazy. I have simply said that the behavior in question would not be acceptable in my book and I don't like parents that make excuses for their kids constant misbehavior because they are unwilling to parent their own kids.

But I have to ask, what if the OP had come here and told us that she just got stitches, broke a bone, or got hurt in some other way because of an 8 year old running around the laundromat? Would so many of you still be saying well it's boring there and the kids can't be expected to sit still and I'd be playing tag with the kid? I doubt it. You'd be wanting to know where the parent was, why they weren't parenting their kid, and how could they think it was ok for kids to run around a place like that.

Exactly! Or had knocked down a 2 yr old, or Heaven's forbid knocked over your coffee into and on your new Disney Dooney!!

Plain and simple it is a business and not a field or a playground, you don't run there. And if you have children and bring them, then you control them, however it takes.

 

[Poohforyou]

Am I the only person who doesn't give a crap about kids running around a laundromat?

It's a frickin laundromat....

Geeze

It's someone's business and kids should be taught to respect that. You want your kids to run around take them to a business that encourages that.

I'm betting that those who are ok with their kids running around would be the 1st to go after the owner if their kids got hurt while running around.

 

[BigAlsGal]

It's someone's business and kids should be taught to respect that. You want your kids to run around take them to a business that encourages that.

I'm betting that those who are ok with their kids running around would be the 1st to go after the owner if their kids got hurt while running around.

That's what insurance is for.

 

[Mkrop]

Good grief people! (not you OP, 8 is old enough to know better)

The pp goes to wash her clothes. Its a task she has to stay there and complete, she cannot leave because a kid gets hungry or tired or starts acting out.

Maybe she has them sitting with a few toys and she turns to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer and they start fighting over a toy! OR suddenly one grabs a toy from the other and they start chasing each other. Or any one of a billion other scenarios that can happen and do happen every day with young children.

Your kids are not perfect, you are not a perfect parent. She just happens to have the gumption to admit it. Jeesh.

Maybe she does punish them or get on to them or settle them down again. That doesn't mean it won't happen again. 2 hours is a lot of time to be stuck in a boring laundrymat even with some toys and such. They are going to do something in that amount of time, at least once, that may be seen as "bothering others".

I think reading comprehension is a thing that some need to work on around here...sigh MANY of us have had kids who have misbehaved, we have had those kids who had a bad day, who fought over toys etc. The difference seems to be that we dealt with the bad behavior instead of chalking it up to being in a boring place. We didnt go with just a book in hand and expect our kids to magically behave and when they didnt just say oh well, it is a boring place. We have sacrificed time and money leaving places when our kids got out of hand. We did not make other people endure our child's range of terror and mine had those for long. If redirection or having the behavior changed did not work then we did what a responsible parent should do...we left.

That is not what she said. She said that she did care if they were bothering others and she said that she apologized.

No where did she say that she didn't care or that she didn't try to manage them.

For all we know her kids aren't doing anything particularly wrong, she is just worrying about it. I used to do that when my sons were little. People would say "quit worrying, they are fine" and I would realize that I was making more of a scene trying to make them be "perfect" than they were making in their behavior. Sometimes you really do just have to chill out and let a kid be a kid (within reason, of course)

Wasn't she the one that said she put the kids in the car to play and backed the car up to the place? Or was that someone else?

That is exactly what she said...she blamed their behavior on the location instead of taking responsibility as a parent.

Oh come on, don't you know this is the Dis, the place of perfect parenting and perfect children? If I were to base and make assumptions about some posters on this thread (and other threads), I could say I get the feeling that they are abusive parents. However, as you stated, how could I possibly know if they are or not, based on post on an Internet forum.


Personally, if I were sitting in the laundromat and saw a kid running back and forth a few times and then saw a grown ADULT deliberately push a cart into the isle to make a child stop running, well, I'd wonder more about what the hell is wrong with the nasty adult than the kid and his/her parent.

Was not raised by nor do I use any abusive behavior with my children, but I do not allow my children to misbehave for long in public. And many of us have said that we are NOT perfect parents, far from it, yet we do know that the parental job is ours to take care and if that means leaving than so be it.

That's what insurance is for.

That is NOT what insurance is for, insurance is for when a TRUE accident occurs. NOT a incident that could have been prevented by some actually parenting their child.

 

[MSLRAC]

That's what insurance is for.

Why should insurance have to cover something like that? Responsibility falls solely on the parent that allowed their kid to run around. It's called accountability for your own actions or lack thereof.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Sorry peeps. That's exactly what insurances is for. To protect the business owner. For the record I am a small business owner. For what it's worth I appreciate your concern for the small business owner but I am under no dillusion that all insurance claims will be for "true accidents".

Even if it's lack of parenting.... if a kid falls and busts his head open it is on the business owner. If an old lady falls down and breaks her hip it's on the business owner. Lack of parenting....lack of cane is irrelevant as far as being able to sue me goes. That's why I have insurance. Insurance and surveillance cameras.

 

[crazyme5kids]

You are the one who made the assumption that parents on this thread with well behaved kids were abusive. I did not call the PP a bad parent or lazy. I have simply said that the behavior in question would not be acceptable in my book and I don't like parents that make excuses for their kids constant misbehavior because they are unwilling to parent their own kids.

But I have to ask, what if the OP had come here and told us that she just got stitches, broke a bone, or got hurt in some other way because of an 8 year old running around the laundromat? Would so many of you still be saying well it's boring there and the kids can't be expected to sit still and I'd be playing tag with the kid? I doubt it. You'd be wanting to know where the parent was, why they weren't parenting their kid, and how could they think it was ok for kids to run around a place like that.

No, you are wrong. What you really need to do is go back and reread what I wrote. I was merely making a point about making assumptions. I said I could say, not they are, big difference.

 

[MSLRAC]

No, you are wrong. What you really need to do is go back and reread what I wrote. I was merely making a point about making assumptions. I said I could say, not they are, big difference.

I read exactly what you wrote and I saw the little song and dance routine that you did as you judged people while claiming you weren't really judging them. So, no I do not need to go back and read your drivel again.

 

[Sultana]

Interesting non sequeter. Why?

For me it's easier to do my laundry here than at my mothers house where my crazy sister thinks she's the only one who needs to wash clothes, and my boyfriend has a washer but not a dryer. Three loads of laundry at one time and I'm done.

Third option: buy your own washer and dryer!
I think I am weird: I have no issues walking barefooted in hotel rooms etc, but I don't like my clothes washed in someone else's washer/ dryer.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Third option: buy your own washer and dryer!
I think I am weird: I have no issues walking barefooted in hotel rooms etc, but I don't like my clothes washed in someone else's washer/ dryer.

Fourth option: send the laundry out for someone else to do

(okay, that would not solve the issue f clothes washed where others wash theirs but would most homes have a way to hookup a second washer and drier set if OP did buy her own? PLus, there is a space issue. I would imagine the OP, her grown daughter, her sisters (2, I think) and her parents must be squeezed in pretty tight if they are all really in a single family home--even a large one would feel full with 6 adults in it.

 

[Disneyaddictz]

It's so easy to judge people, haven't you even had a day where you were so stretched thin and defeated? I'd rather hope this was that day. Perhaps it wasn't maybe she's just a crappy parent? I can't believe I even felt so compelled to comment on this post while I should be planning another amazing disney trip that I am blessed to take. We cannot change bad parenting by merely opening a thread and talking about how we would do it, i see awful, clueless people raising kids ever day, although heartbreaking I can do two things, do something about it by getting involved in their parenting or I can mind my own business and teach my own children that lesson.....no let's talk about who old is too old for strollers at disney.. Rofl! Xoxox

 

[crazyme5kids]

I read exactly what you wrote and I saw the little song and dance routine that you did as you judged people while claiming you weren't really judging them. So, no I do not need to go back and read your drivel again.

lol. Ok, you are right, I am wrong. Sorry. Won't post my drivel anymore. Feel better now?

 

[luvsJack]

Oh come on, don't you know this is the Dis, the place of perfect parenting and perfect children? If I were to base and make assumptions about some posters on this thread (and other threads), I could say I get the feeling that they are abusive parents. However, as you stated, how could I possibly know if they are or not, based on post on an Internet forum.


Personally, if I were sitting in the laundromat and saw a kid running back and forth a few times and then saw a grown ADULT deliberately push a cart into the isle to make a child stop running, well, I'd wonder more about what the hell is wrong with the nasty adult than the kid and his/her parent.

Just thought I would point out that the pp, at no time, said she thought anyone was abusing their kids. She said that she COULD make that assumption by some of the posts but she couldn't possibly know that based on one post on a forum.

There are things that are said that can be taken the wrong way.


Just like the pp did NOT say she didn't deal with her kid's behavior. She did and she came back and said it again. But that part keeps getting ignored in all the holier than thou posts of how bad of a parent she is at the laundromat.

 

[Sultana]

Fourth option: send the laundry out for someone else to do

(okay, that would not solve the issue f clothes washed where others wash theirs but would most homes have a way to hookup a second washer and drier set if OP did buy her own? PLus, there is a space issue. I would imagine the OP, her grown daughter, her sisters (2, I think) and her parents must be squeezed in pretty tight if they are all really in a single family home--even a large one would feel full with 6 adults in it.

OK, I must have missed somewhere that the OP lived with her parents and a whole other bunch of people.

I thought OP was a lawyer? In my mind, all lawyers are wealthy people living in their own house with their own W/D, lol!

 

[Mkrop]

Just thought I would point out that the pp, at no time, said she thought anyone was abusing their kids. She said that she COULD make that assumption by some of the posts but she couldn't possibly know that based on one post on a forum.

There are things that are said that can be taken the wrong way.


Just like the pp did NOT say she didn't deal with her kid's behavior. She did and she came back and said it again. But that part keeps getting ignored in all the holier than thou posts of how bad of a parent she is at the laundromat.

No she made excuses for their behavior. She may have kept trying but ultimately if none of that works, you leave. You do not subject other people to your kid's bad behavior and when you go back you prepare better for the outing...make sure they are well rested, well fed, with plenty of surprises in a bag, not just abook, for several kids

ETA...that seems to be the advice given on the how to discipline in the park thread...if your kid is acting up, you leave, even if it means one parent or the whole family needs to take that time out...well the same applies for the laundromat, the restaurant, the movies and grocery/Target type store.

 

[luvsJack]

No she made excuses for their behavior. She may have kept trying but ultimately if none of that works, you leave. You do not subject other people to your kid's bad behavior and when you go back you prepare better for the outing...make sure they are well rested, well fed, with plenty of surprises in a bag, not just abook, for several kids

ETA...that seems to be the advice given on the how to discipline in the park thread...if your kid is acting up, you leave, even if it means one parent or the whole family needs to take that time out...well the same applies for the laundromat, the restaurant, the movies and grocery/Target type store.

It can't always mean leaving the park and it most certainly cannot mean always leaving anywhere else.

She explained why she couldn't leave the laundromat. If you only have a certain amount of time to do something, you have to do it then. Not everyone has the luxury of coming back at a later time.

What she did say is that she removed the kids from the place and put them in the car where she could watch them and they could play.

Giving a reason for behavior is not always the same thing as making an excuse.