Kinda OT...moving back in w/mom&dad

[pumpkinfish]

So...a series of events has left DH and I in a bind. Here is the short version to get you caught up to present day:

About 4 months ago, I come home one day to see some construction begining next to our apartment complex. Actually, it's right behind us...as in I can throw a stone and have it hit the new apartments being built right outside our patio . Our apartment complex decided to buy the huge lot behind us and build more upscale apartments. My beautiful field is gone. Every morning we now wake at 7 to the sounds of construction . wait, sorry I said I'd give you the short version...
DH and I decided that first night it was time to move. We aren't in a position to buy a house yet so looked at area apartments. We are now on the waiting list for apartments my grandparents live in. It is cheaper and more sq footage-perfect! we are now a little over 30 days until lease is up and still no news from the apartments we want to move to. If need be, my parents offered to have me, DH, and our furbaby move in with them. We are all a tight family and I really don't mind. I am THANKFUL that I have such wonderful parents.
So we talked today and I let them know DH and I would want to pay rent. They said no, absolutely not. Mom said we would have our own food/meals of course (since we all work various hours and would hardly be able to eat together).
I guess what I'm looking for from you guys is guidance...I want to give something to show my gratitude. I know I would never be able to hand them money. I'm sure they'd feel insulted probably. I was thinking when I do my slow-cooker meals, I could do enough for everyone. But my sis still lives at home (final year of college for her- wahoo!) and is a vegetarian, mom has diabetes, and dad has high blood pressure so that limits meals I can make for them. Any other ideas?
Of course we will help with the chores as much as possible. I get kind of limited because of my rheumatoid-arthritis. Prayerfully if we have to stay with my parents, it won't be long until something opens up for us in the apartment complex.
Ok, let those ideas fly!

 

[LisaNJ25]

How about gc's for the grocery store? Or try to pay a utility bill each month.

 

[brymolmom]

I think there are lots of things (within your limitations so you might have to plan ahead for it). If I had a relative move in temporarily with us and did not want rent - if we came home every day/week or whatever to a 'suprise' it would be great. My surprises would include: a CLEAN kitchen - floor swept and or mopped, dishes done, counters wiped, sink scrubbed - this likely wouldn't take too long but it is the little things like wiping the whole counter I usually don't get a chance to do often enough...suprise #2 - fresh flowers in a vase on the table - surprise option #3 - one of those slow cooker meals you mentioned - surprise option #4 - some sort of errand already done - like go get the oil changed in the car or bring the library books back - surprise option #5: rearrange and straighten a cupboard or closet - not a huge one mind you - just straightening something that the homeowner would never think to do (because we're so used to seeing it the way it is) - but be careful - some people might not like this - surprise option #6 - take all the sheets off the beds, wash them, and put them back on suprise option #7 - take the screens off the windows in one or several rooms and rinse them clean - put them back on.

Anyway- the point is - there are a TON of 'little' things that they would likely LOVE to have 'just done' - no asking for it - just getting it done one day when they're out or whatever. These are just examples - you know them well enough to come up with this type of thing that would be right up their alley.....just brainstorm it and come up with a list that you want to try to do as many of as possible while you're there.

 

[wide awake]

As someone else suggested,
1. A gift card for a grocery store.
2. Think about how much it is saving you, maybe a short cruise, or nice weekend away for them, all expenses paid.
3. If money is tight, go to their utility company, have the bills sent to you for six months.
4. Is there a small repair or improvement that needs to be done ? Foot the bill for that.
5. Pay for a gardner or cleaning service for a few months.
6. Buy all the groceries while you are there. Have your parents and sis give you list a couple times a week...buy everything on it.
7. Buy a gas card w/ $1000 or more worth on it.

 

[pumpkinfish]

Oooo...excellant ideas so far! I think my parents would flip a lid if they saw us hand them a $1000 gas giftcard (they know we are trying to save for a house) but I really like that idea! I also like the idea of the fresh flowers
As I was reading through, I also thought of treating them to a nice dinner while we are all at Disney in April. I might change one of our ADRs to California Grill and then have DH and I foot the bill. Oh yeah...that's a nice thank you. And maybe we can go ahead and pay off their resort stay!

 

[surfgirl]

I would do as much as you can to help around the house -- Saturdays doing chores, etc.

Is there any big project that they would like done that you could help with ? Landscaping, planting bulbs (in fall), painting, cleaning out garage/basement ? (oh yeah, I just realized that you are limited... can dh help ?)

Maybe now is a good time to take a course at the local community college ? Or a night course... even a financial one ... or one for first time home buyers. Use this as a few different things:
1) get you out of the house w/o spending a lot at dinner
2) get you prepared for next steps

I would also not make any large purchases. Save as much as you can. They would probably be thrilled if you could show them how much you've saved and that you can soon buy your own house. Show them that you ARE an adult and fiscally responsible...

 

[nordkin]

3. If money is tight, go to their utility company, have the bills sent to you for six months.

Although a very good idea, the utility company will not do this without the person named on the account requesting it. It is against the law. Equate it to someone else receiving one of your credit card bills. I work for a utility and we can loose our jobs for discussing a customer's bill with anyone but the person named on the account. You are not even allowed to discuss it with spouses.

 

[toesmom]

I would pay some rent to your parents and obviously pay for your own food, and clean up after yourselves.

The thing with living home rent-free, some people end up spending a lot more money since they don't have to come up with rent money and utilities money. So in essence, you really find more spending money. I don't know if you are as cheap as I am where I won't even buy a cup of coffee out, always have to make it at home no matter what....

But I've read that parents do their children a disservice by allowing them to live at home for free in hopes of saving money for a house.

With normal jobs and no rent to pay, you find yourself with lots of extra money that you normally didn't have when living on your own so you may allow yourself certain extra spending that you would normally never consider. And there goes the whole point of moving home to save money for a house, it takes long time to save it if you have no expenses but choose to spend here or there.

 

[100 acre wood]

I would certainly just make sure the kitchen was nice and clean, the bathrooms sparking and with a diabetic family member and another with High bp, just keep the place stocked with fresh fruit and veggies, and any recipes you can make that are low carb, low sugar and low salt. You can also bake them treats with Splenda, alot of recipes work out fine with splenda, cookies and cakes and pies too!

 

[kacaju]

we moved in with my parents for a year. Long story short, the area we were living in was not safe. I was outside at 8:30 am with my dog and 16 month old child and a police man stopped me and asked if I had heard gunshots that morning. That and all the broken glass and condoms that littered the ground was just not how I was used to living!!!
My parents didn't want us paying them either, so what we did was I did all the grocery shopping, (and paid for it) all the cooking and housecleaning. I was a SAHM so this was stuff I'd be doing anyway. It worked out well for us. That was 12 years ago.

 

[ceecee]

we moved in with my parents for a year. Long story short, the area we were living in was not safe. I was outside at 8:30 am with my dog and 16 month old child and a police man stopped me and asked if I had heard gunshots that morning. That and all the broken glass and condoms that littered the ground was just not how I was used to living!!!
My parents didn't want us paying them either, so what we did was I did all the grocery shopping, (and paid for it) all the cooking and housecleaning. I was a SAHM so this was stuff I'd be doing anyway. It worked out well for us. That was 12 years ago.

That sounds like a PLAN. That would probably be great for your parents...no cooking and cleaning and if you bought the groceries they would have $ to save, indirectly like paying rent.

 

[KittyKitty]

If you don't have time to clean, you could pay for a cleaning company to come in and do the whole house for your folks.

I would just love that!