Kids on 'leashes'

[LSUfan4444]

Not every kid will respond to teaching and guidance quick enough to prevent injury.

And I have said twice before, every kid is different.

But, as a parent, I don't believe it is my job to prevent injury because that's impossible. There are things you can do to put yourself in situations where it reduces likelihood, but those actions would differ based on the child and the parenting methods involved.

When your kids were just learning to walk, wobbling around like little drunks, you didn't either pad or remove coffee tables with sharp edges? If not, it's just luck that they didn't lose an eye.

The only thing we padded was the edge of our fireplace. We also put in safety plugs, but I don't see how you can call it luck if an eye isn't lost.

How many people padded coffee tables in the 60s and 70s? Were all just lucky we survived with our eyes in tact?

 

[CandleontheWater]

Some kids are just more energetic than others. If you are blessed with one of those quieter children who do not live to push every boundary, count your lucky stars. If you have one of those high-spirited kids, a harness is nearly a necessity for a Disney trip.

I have a Pluto backpack/harness that I've brought on the past few Disney trips for DS and it has worked wonderfully. I wouldn't be worried about the judgey crowd either here on the DIS or in the parks. I've gotten nothing but supportive comments from other parents, and have had more than one frazzled mom ask me where in the parks she could buy a Pluto harness. You'll be in good company if you decide to harness you child for safety.

As for tips- I would practice wearing it before you get to the parks, so you child gets used to it. Also in the parks I find it is easier just to wrap the leash part around the backpack when it is time to get on a ride, rather than taking it off.

 

[gwynne]

We are going to disney in Feb and my DS will be 23 months. We purchased the mickey one and have been practicing at home . He loves to "take mickey on a walk". We took our other DS when he was 2 and didn't need anything but stroller... My two boys are so different!!! Whatever keeps them safe!

BBM. What a positive and wonderful way to introduce a tether.
Great post!

 

[LaurenT]

And I have said twice before, every kid is different.

But, as a parent, I don't believe it is my job to prevent injury because that's impossible. There are things you can do to put yourself in situations where it reduces likelihood, but those actions would differ based on the child and the parenting methods involved.



The only thing we padded was the edge of our fireplace. We also put in safety plugs, but I don't see how you can call it luck if an eye isn't lost.

How many people padded coffee tables in the 60s and 70s? Were all just lucky we survived with our eyes in tact?

No...lol. The ones who lost eyes, or suffered concussions weren't lucky at all (well, I guess they were somewhat lucky if they survived).
So, your parenting method then, if I'm understanding correctly, is to not try to protect from injury? Then why bother with the fireplace? If your 2 yr old was a flight risk you would teach him a lesson by letting him get lost? I guess that would work - and hopefully he'd be the sort of kid who wouldn't be traumatized by it. I'm that type...but my sister isn't. We grew up with parents who had what you could call a unique parenting style. I came through it ok. My sister is a mess.

 

[MegN529]

I have never used one for our 3. I have no problem with others using them. Disney is a BIG place with a ton of people! They have been around for a while... my Mom used one for me as a child.

 

[maxiesmom]

I have no problem with people using leashes to keep their children safe. As long as they don't turn into That Parent, the one who thinks that having their child on a leash means they can ignore them. Where you wind up with the child on one side of the aisle and the parent on the other, with the leash strung across waiting to trip some poor unsuspecting soul.

 

[BonnieA]

I'm not so sure. Some version of other of leading strings have been widely used for thousands of years; it seems like they've only fallen out of favor in the last couple of generations. People were probably MORE used to seeing them 40 years ago than they are now. My parents used them, and their parents before them. I look at it as an insurance policy.

You could be right. Maybe that's why I never noticed anyone giving me the hairy eyeball. But even if they did, it was their problem not mine. My problem was being solved with the leash.

 

[alecshawn]

My humble opinion....the leashes are absurd. pure and simple. We are human beings...not dogs.

 

[LSUfan4444]

So, your parenting method then, if I'm understanding correctly, is to not try to protect from injury? Then why bother with the fireplace?

Our "parenting method" is based around teaching our daughter right from wrong and to listen to what we say. We chose not to prevent her from getting to things (locking cabinets, removing photos and items from low bookshelves etc) we didn't want her to by teaching her to not touch the, or get in them. The main reason we wanted to do this was because we felt it was more important for her to learn where she could and couldn't go rather than preventing her from going into them. This has served us particularly well when we go to other peoples houses.

We padded the fireplace and put safety plugs into the sockets for almost the exact opposite reason, to protect the children of the kids our friends bring over (6 months+). I didn't even want to do the safety plugs, but my wife wanted to so I agreed.

You see, if I am cooking on the bbq pit outside, I know my daughter can get hurt. So, we teach her where she can go and what she can touch. If I thought it was "baby-proofed" and she was "prevented" from touching it, I wouldn't pay as much attention (aka - the safety plugs for wall sockets). When there is a preventative measure there, it means most people pay less attention. Thats not a bad thing, just human nature and why we put those measures in place....because it's easier than the alternative.

My daughter is three and almost ready for the training wheels to come off her bike, BUT she rides with a helmet. See, we believe in doing things to help keep her safe, but not preventing injury and I think there is a difference.

As earlier stories in this thread describe, once some kids get to a point where they are going to do what they're going to do, little can be done. Because we never got to that point, we would never use a "leash".

If your 2 yr old was a flight risk you would teach him a lesson by letting him get lost?

Of course I would never try and teach my child a lesson by putting them in harms way, BUT to use an analogy when my daughter was about 10 months old she wouldn't stop walking towards the side of the pool. She had to physically be stopped or she would walk in, so one time we let her walk in. She is three now and hasn't done it since. We have put her in swim lessons for the last two summers and she is comfortable in the water, but knows she needs her floaties. And we will even let her go into the pool by herself (at three years old) as long as one of us are at the poolside and keeps an eye on her.

Again though, all kids are different.

 

[peekies722]

I was a judger of those parents who put their kids in harnesses, now we are harness lovers. It took our 4th child to break us and create more humble parents

I just laugh at the people who look at me like I'm nuts for having a kid in a harness.

Harness lovers unite!

We bought our harness at Walmart, for $6.99. Our child likes to wear it, because it holds a couple of her small items just like a backpack. We like it because it keeps her safe.

 

[fitzperry]

Our "parenting method" is based around teaching our daughter right from wrong and to listen to what we say. We chose not to prevent her from getting to things (locking cabinets, removing photos and items from low bookshelves etc) we didn't want her to by teaching her to not touch the, or get in them. The main reason we wanted to do this was because we felt it was more important for her to learn where she could and couldn't go rather than preventing her from going into them. This has served us particularly well when we go to other peoples houses.

Perhaps it is unintentional, but you make it sound as if this were an either/or proposition and that people who move the valuables or dangerous items out of a small child's reach do not also teach them "right from wrong" or "to listen to what we say." These are not mutually exclusive. For instance, we taught our children that certain things or places were off limits but, while they were still learning, moved things that we really wouldn't want broken or that could be dangerous--because kids mess up occasionally.

And, as you acknowledge, all kids are different. Our older daughter didn't test the limits as much as the second one. If you told dd1 that the glass on the fireplace was hot and that she shouldn't touch it, she'd believe you and keep her hands off of it. Dd2, on the other hand, had to touch it and see for herself. That tendency has played itself out many times in many ways.

It's been my experience that saying your child would never do something is inviting karma to bite you in the butt. And that's why I would never say that " would never use a 'leash.'" Some kids will stay with you and hold your hand if you tell them to. Other's won't. In the second case, unless of course you want to spend your time chasing them, you have to find some way to restrain them--whether it's a stroller (if they'll stay in it), a "leash," or skipping the activity and staying home (where I'm sure they'll always follow your rules). A tether--used appropriately--seems like a perfectly reasonable and humane solution to me.

 

[Canooknic]

My twins hated the backpacks/body harnesses so we bought velcro wrist straps. They loved them because they could walk next to us without feeling tied to us. I only tended to use them if I was out on my own with them and within a couple of months they were walking beautifully next to me without any trouble (although they used to get upset when they didn't have their straps?!? Weird kids)

For peace of mind in such a crazy place I think it's absolutely fine, it means you can relax knowing your little one is safe and they can wander around and not be strapped into a stroller all day - a win-win situation in my opinion!!

 

[SuperPreparo]

My DD's goddaughter had one of the monkey backpack types when she was that age. She loved it and would ask to bring it when they went anywhere. Better to be safe than sorry!

 

[POB14]

We used one for a little while, when our oldest was in her "run off and check out the cool stuff" stage. Worked great. I had no idea people were against them.

 

[Krabby Patty]

I was also one who made fun of people who used them... until I had a 2 year old at Disney. We had the monkey backpack and it worked out great!!!

 

[5mouseketeersforus]

I was a judger of those parents who put their kids in harnesses, now we are harness lovers. It took our 4th child to break us and create more humble parents

I just laugh at the people who look at me like I'm nuts for having a kid in a harness.

Harness lovers unite!

We bought our harness at Walmart, for $6.99. Our child likes to wear it, because it holds a couple of her small items just like a backpack. We like it because it keeps her safe.

This is me right now!!! DS2 is a little tornado

We will have a stroller for him but i'm not sure he will stay put? DH wants to get a "leash" but i have always been so against them. "I have a child, not a dog." I can't tell you how many times i have said that. But now i am seriously considering one.....

 

[bookgirl]

How many people padded coffee tables in the 60s and 70s? Were all just lucky we survived with our eyes in tact?

Being born in 1966 and having grown up in a non-safety proofed house I have not one, not two but THREE trips to the emergency room and the three corresponding scars on my face and head to prove that padding would have been a good thing. I also stuck a bobby pin in a socket and turned my fingers black, and not only was I a wanderer/runner, but I wasn't shy about leaving buildings or streets if given half a chance. My mom finally just made sure I knew my name phone number and address. I was the only kid that could buzz the information off in kindergarten. When we bought the boy's harnesses she said that if she had known about them when I was a toddler/preschooler I totally would have had one. I did survive, barely.

 

[JackieO]

With my first 2 kids I would secretly mock those parents who "couldn't control their kids or didn't care enough to make them mind so they just put a leash on them".... Then I had my 3rd child...... He was a runner. I was the same parent, he just ran. He would see something and go after it AND HE WAS QUICK! Once when he was 2, someone left the door open at church and in a matter of seconds he was out. We didn't know he had gone outside and all started looking everywhere then I thought to look in the most dangerous place and went toward the road. There he was in some mans arms, two cars stopped in the middle of the road. He was fine, the man (angel ) said my son was just standing in the middle of the road. After a good cry I went and got a cute monkey backpack/harness.

Maybe people will judge when you use a harness but what would they think if you lost your child? You'll feel more relaxed and your child will be safe And yes, I learned AGAIN not to judge people. I'm always sorry when I do!

 

[amber_cntrygrl]

I bought a monkey harness for DS before our trip in 2010 just in case he decided to go wild and run, but never once used it. I was glad to have it though, because I'm one of those "what if" worrying types. Drives DH nuts. If it would make you feel better, then I say take one!

 

[Donna in NJ]

Anyone who gives you a hard time has never had that moment of pure terror when their toddlers is running at top speed toward a parking lot or road. The only thought you have is can I still run faster then my child.
I think anything that prevents a tragedy is worth doing. Have a great trip and keep your son safe. Don't worry about what others think.