Keeping secrets between parents and children.

[HM]

I think there is a cute aspect of the commercial, but I can't relate to it at all.
I don't think that phrase has ever been used by my parents or by my family.

 

[TAX GUY]

Holy cow! Sometimes commercials are just about fun and are not hiding deep dark secrets about abuse. Geez some people really need to stop looking for hidden messages in everything.

exactly!

 

[JanaDee]

Some of you need to lighten up. It's a commercial that is supposed to be lighthearted and fun.

I think almost every parent can relate to the "don't tell Mom/don't tell Dad" *wink wink* moment.

I've done it and I know DH has done it.

 

[Art 1]

not trying to be heavy about it-but at 20 and almost 18 both of our kids still recall that their earliest memories include hearing/learning over and over that there was only one thing that they wouldn't tell mom or dad-a designated surprise (birthday/holiday). Dh and i operated this way for 2 reasons-we didn't want the kids to view us as anything but a united front, and the majority of sexually and physically/emotionally abused children we encountered in social services had been victimized by virtue of their abuser telling them that what they were enduring was "a secret" or something "you don't tell".

Any commercial i encountered that would promote this type of behavior would immediately compel me to forego their product.

omg!

 

[goofy4tink]

Some background....I have three kids, 41, 37, and almost 21. The first two are from my first marriage. With my youngest, yes, there are secrets we keep from my dh. Why? He is younger than I, and really stresses over stuff that needn't be stressed over. So....I want my dd to know that she can come to me with anything, even if its something upsetting. My dh wasn't even close to accepting the fact that our dd might need birth control pills, but I had told dd to come to me when she thought there was even a chance she would need them. She did, we dealt with it, without dh knowing. We are talking about an 18 y/o here, not a 14 y/o. Several months later, dh brought up the subject. I told him it was all under control. He said good, and that he didn't need to know anymore. It's not meant to exclude him. It just enables me to be able to communicate with our dd without her fearing that her father is going to take a nutty. If its something dad needs to know, then I tell him.

 

[Jessica14]

I think there is a gray area with this. I think the commercial is funny but, it's also non-important things. My parents actually did this a lot and some things were OK- when my Mom dropped the AC out the window and told my DB not to tell me because I would tell my Dad. I have a big mouth sometimes! Other things not so much. I was only told after years of infertility that the Dr told my parents years prior (after surgery-I was still out) the severity of my condition. I was not happy that I never knew.

With my own kids, I have used the words "surprise" rather than "secret" for things like gifts.

One thing that recently came up with DD11 is her dance director-a 24 yr old-did not permit parents to be at a team photo shoot or view videos of dances because of parental interference. I get it but, as a young guy, he doesn't get that telling girls 6-17 not to share with parents is a bad idea. I told DD if there is ANYTHING she is uncomfortable with, to let us know.

 

[frndshpcptn]

I love this commercial. I laugh every time it's on. It reminds me of my childhood. We did stuff like this all the time - still do. It's all in good fun.

I hope I have the find of relationship with my future children someday where we can do this sort of thing in our family as well.

 

[Missy1961]

Holy cow! Sometimes commercials are just about fun and are not hiding deep dark secrets about abuse. Geez some people really need to stop looking for hidden messages in everything.

 

[DisneyGeek2184]

I was still living at home between 18-22 and both my parents were devout Catholics. I was not allowed to have tattoos or piercings. Well.. I had both. I hid my first tattoo quite well, until I sprained my ankle and mom took me to ER and saw it. It was on my ankle. I also had my tongue pierced (not so well hidden from mom). But, we kept them a secret from my dad.

After my mom passed, my siblings filled me in on a secret my mom got away with for years.. I had a habit of not finishing boxes of cereals, so she would dump the old cereal in with the new box. I never knew!

 

[Pig Pen]

For awhile there was a time when my grandson (now 7 yo) was not supposed to play with toy guns or make shooting motions. IMO this only made guns more attractive to him but what do I know.

One day when he was about 4 yo I took him to visit his cousins and of course they ended up playing shooting games in the yard. They had water guns, swords, the whole shebang.

Well, in the car on the way home I told him maybe he shouldn't tell mommy he was playing with toy guns today because she might get upset. Wouldn't you know that the first thing out of his mouth was "Mommy, I played with guns, but it was okay, no one got really shot."

Guess who was the one who got in trouble?

BTW, he is no longer restricted from shooting games. I guess they discovered it was a lost cause, especially since they are in the military...

 

[aprilgail2]

Holy cow! Sometimes commercials are just about fun and are not hiding deep dark secrets about abuse. Geez some people really need to stop looking for hidden messages in everything.

Wow some of my best times growing up were "don't tell mom" and "don't tell dad" times! My mom went away with friends for a few days and my dad took off work and let me stay home from school and we went bowling, out to lunch and mini golfing. What a great day that was! That was just one of the "secrets" LOL.

 

[Cool Cat]

That happened when I was younger. The secrets normally were: Don't tell mom or dad that we went to (insert scary movie or resteraunt)."
I always told...

 

[leebee]

I have mixed feelings about this commercial. Yes, I thought it was cute and moved on, but this thread has me thinking. I think there are always things that we said, "Don't tell Dad/Mom," and as kids we thought it was a big secret. Now as an adult, I am 99% sure that my parent told the other, but mentioned it was a secret. Seriously… do you really think my mom didn't mention a trip to Dairy Queen to my dad, even if it was supposed to be a big secret? I would guess that many of us share "the secret" with our spouses, but let the kids continue to think it's a secret- that's part of the fun.

I'd be more upset if my DH did something with DD that he knows I'd be very opposed to. For example (and only an example- DH would never do this), letting DD ride in the car without her seatbelt. I would be IRATE if DH allowed this and said to keep it a secret. It's dangerous, and you only need to have that one accident, that one time, and it's not a silly secret anymore, it's a life-changing event. Besides, seatbelt use is something DH and I agreed upon as a family rule, so I think that even hinting that it can not be worn is disrespectful to me, as the other half of the rule-makers in the family, and undermines some of my authority with DD (as in the "Mom might think she makes the rules but Dad has the final say" line of thought). Really, to me, the "amusement factor" of keeping things secret from the other parent depends on the situation, and whether it's a harmless activity or something that the other parent has very strong feelings about.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I think it's a really cute commercial and agree that some are thinking way too into it. I also think that in a normal, healthy family (and I realize, sadly, some are not), even the children "get it" when a parent says "don't tell mom" or "don't tell dad" when they get a special treat.

 

[mommasita]

Some of you need to lighten up. It's a commercial that is supposed to be lighthearted and fun.

I think almost every parent can relate to the "don't tell Mom/don't tell Dad" *wink wink* moment.

I've done it and I know DH has done it.

I think we ALL have.. It is always in fun too.. It was never about a murder scene Nobody is Mother Earth..

To think back on all the things I thought I would never say or do before I became a parent, or when my children were young.. Now that they are older, it makes me smile.. You roll with it, don't you.. .