keep us in your thoughts

[buf68]

I guess I should start with the story.

in 2004 my father was diangosed with ALS. He was 41 at the time and it was the worst form possible (bulbar). A year later as he worstend we were givin a fairy godmother foundation trip to disney world and for 2 weeks go to forget about everything and just spend time in the most magical place on earth.

Shortly after that, my now DH proposed to me. It was somewhat quick but we knew it was right. However, shortly thereafter (a few months) DH lost his job b/c of downsizing. We were able to go through with everything and my dad even got to walk me down the aisle. for our honeymoon there was only one place i could go that would make me insanely happy, and i had to share that with DH. So we spent a week, just the two of us, in disneyworld!

About a year ago, my father passed away (about 3 years almost to the week after he was dx'ed). It has been so hard for all of us. We aren't close at all with my mother, and she makes it hard to try to be closer.

DH eventually (after a few not so great jobs) got a really great job, but recently he lost it again due to budget concerns. Now we're in a horrible spot. I'm trying so hard to keep it all together, but i'm still dealing with the loss of my dad, and so is DH. and with all the bad luck with jobs we're struggling. I feel like an orphan and DH's family doesn't give much support. The ONE thing i want to do right now is escape to disney again. DH and I were talking about it before he lost his job, but now that postponed indefinately. We miss it so much there....

Anyways, i guess i'm just having a hard time coping. I'm trying to stay strong for my DH, but things are just so hard. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers if you would. And sorry that I just laid this all our here, i know many people are struggling, but disney makes us happy, and I thought maybe sharing this with some disney crazies like us would help somehow.....

 

[kimis]

Bless your heart! You are in my prayers. Hang in there and remember that your friends here will pray for you and listen to you anytime you need to talk. Take time to grieve your dad. Take time to grieve your husbands job loss. Just take it one day and one prayer at a time.

 

[disneyloveNY]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

It is so hard to lose a loved one and not have them in your life anymore.

I will keep you both in my thoughts and hope that DH finds a job soon so that you do not have these worries on top of your loss.

 

[buf68]

yeah the lack of good relationship with my mother doesn't help. She's admitted that she's wanted to kill herself but says she could never do that b/c of my sister (whose 11). She forgets about me though, and that I wouldn't have a mother....i mentioned this to her today on the phone (she brought it up) and she's like "well i thought it wouldn't matter to you"

This is just all so much. We're a young couple we should be young and happy and full of life and we just aren't.

I'm trying to take the time to relax and grieve, but it's hard. I'm a PhD student so i don't have much time on my hands for myself (i went back to school 2 weeks after my dad died to just keep going).

 

[alizesmom]

Saying a prayer for you and your DH. Karen

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I have 3 daughters, we are close, and it breaks my heart that you do not have the Mother/daughter relationship that you should have. Sounds like she is depressed, if she is saying she will kill herself but cannot because of your sister, and then the remark that she doubted you would care.. From someone who is on the outside looking in, she sounds like maybe she does not know how much you do care.... I do not know, I just do not like that you are so hurt..

I know, easy for me to say, but have you thought about counseling for yourself???? Maybe to work through all the sad feelings you are having. Just an idea, maybe it could help.

Lots of hugs from this Mom..

 

[ExecChef]

Your DH sounds to be a good man, lean on him, and do not hold nothing inside thats what he is there for, God Bless.

 

[safetymom]

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like you have a lot to handle.

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I am sorry that you are struggling. It sounds like you have been trying t hold things together for a long time. If you need to grieve, please do. It's okay to grieve about job loss and missing a vacation and it is certainly okay to still be grieving about your dad.

 

[buf68]

i've seen a counselor, but right now i just don't have the extra money to spend on it. We're putting every penny we have towards food, gas, and bills. The economy here is insanely horrible (like worse than most other states). I'm just really hoping with kids going back to school that DH can find something that even if it's not the greatest, would put more money in our pockets so we can keep ends meeting.

on my mother, i've never really been that close to her. She yelled at me my whole youth and my dad was really a moderator between us most of the time. She spoils my little sister but assumes that I don't need her thoughts b/c i have a husband. My dad once told me she was jealous of me. Jealous that i had so many oppertunities etc. I'm wondering if that continues on and now she's jealous that I have my husband to hold on to. I don't know. It's just a difficult situation. She actually asked me the other day why i never responded to her email and all i could say is that it hurt me. when i told her why she said i took everything the wrong way and that she didn't think i would care blah blah blah. I think she forgets that everyone deserves a father AND a mother. I dunno. I've tried talking with her and it doesnt help, ever.

Hopefully things will turn back around for DH and I. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's difficult. DH doesn't have the greatest relationship with his parents either, so we're really trying to get through all of this on our own.

the funny thing was, leading up to our honeymoon when i would get upset and stuff about my dad being sick, DH would say "think disney"....i really want to be able to do that again. We'll go back, i'm just not sure how soon. I really wanted to be able to next fall, so maybe a miracle would happen. I'll be almost done with my PhD by then so it would be a nice present

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[buf68]

DH has an interview tomorrow! It sounds like a good job and it's only 11 miles from home. Now he just has to get the job.

trying my best to "think disney" whenever I can....one day.....

 

[Elfstar]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad. My DH has ALS now - the doctor feels he's in his final six months.

for what you've been through. Always try to remember that whatever is happening, you will get through it. It sounds like your DH is a help to you - lean on him if you need to. Sounds like your mom is fighting her own demons - concentrate first on keeping your family whole, then reach out if you can help her.

Do think Disney - I plan fantasy trips when I'm down in the dumps - Good luck to your DH with his interview.

 

[buf68]

things still aren't great. DH is dealing with anxiety and depression, but won't even think about going to a therapist....and to make matters worse one of his 7 year old cousins was killed last weekend. His funeral was at the same church as my dad's and it was our first there since dad's.....so it was incredibly hard. Just pray that things turn around for us, it seems like they just get worse *sigh*