It Stinks Getting Old.... A Revelation

[dairyou]

When my kids were younger we would fly from Sacramento to Orlando sometimes twice a year to WDW. We started when my boys were 5 and 7. Well 4 years ago we decided to take a break because we felt like we had seen everything. Since then my 19 year old is in college so the three of us went to WDW...actually we're still here. Things just aren't the same. Though DS17 would never complain I can tell he'd rather be with his friends then old mom and dad. He wants to be on the slopes whizzing down the hill with his friends.

I miss the times when we came as a family. Enjoyed our time together (along with a couple of fights), and spent 11 days here. So now I'm sad. I doubt we will come here again unless it is DH and I. I know we will take sons, wives and grandchildren here someday..but hopefully that will be a while still.

This past 6 months have been a change for us but I didn't think it would affect our vacation

Wisdom anyone?

Deb

 

[grizelda]

Oh no!! Dont be sad. I still have young kids but I know this day is coming and I dread it. My eldest will be in college next time we go (after this trip in March) and I feel sick about it. Thats why I am trying to do everything possible this trip and squeeze it all in. But I will remember what you said and really try to enjoy myself!!

 

[solstice621]

Oh, hugs to you! I am on the flip side of things where we have 2 young ones and I have moments where traveling is so stressful I wonder if it's all worth it. I don't have any advice, other than I can assure you that my sister and I went to WDW with my mom when we were both in college, and had a blast. Don't say this is it - What about having them take a friend along next time? DS would be happy to have a friend there to hang out with and you and DH would still be on vaca with your son! Plus you guys could get some alone time without feeling like you're leaving him behind. Just a thought.

Try not to worry about next time, and enjoy this trip!!

 

[goofyernmost]

Hate to be a spreader of gloom but wait until they are all gone to live their own lives and you find yourself (hopefully not) by yourself and you go alone. You have fun but there are memories. Those memories are sometimes bittersweet. It reminds you just how much things change with time.

It's a good experience but there is a huge void in your insides were communal fun once existed. You just have to adjust yourself to the fact that things change and that isn't always bad. They like you are their own people not just your kids. They make their own decisions and live there own lives, just like you were doing when you brought them. Chances are your parents didn't go with you, at least not every time, so the circle of life goes on.

 

[dairyou]

Thanks to te both of you. We are getting ready to fly out tomorrow and for the first time ever, I am ready to go. Usually I dread going home. We didn't stay at the parks long during our time here. We hung out alot here at Old Key West. Not that it is bad, just different. I treasure your wisdom in inviting their friends. That would be great. We chit chatted about that a few times, I hope their friends could afford airfare and park tickets. We might be able to help one with airfare.

Yes, enjoy the times when your kiddos are young. I see parents with screaming toddlers and I have to chuckle. I'm just so beyond that stage but I have to tell you I think they are so darn cute!!! As parents we have to appreciate all sides of parenthood. Thanks for making me see it.

I done with my pity party now

Deb

 

[sjs314]

I know your sadness but the suggestion pp made about letting DS take along a friend I feel is a good one. When my youngest DS was 18 DH and I let him bring along one of his friend since our oldest DS was not able/did not want to come along. We had a great time, different but still good and it afforded DH and I some time together while the boys did their thing a few times.

Since then we went to DL in 2007 with DS and his wife and also WDW in 2009 with them again. My DS has since passed away and last year we were suppose to go to WDW with my eldest DS and his wife but we had to cancel the trip.

This September DH and I now both retired will visit WDW, it is going to be very different we have never vacationed alone it is going to prove interesting to say the least. Neither of my DS had children and it looks doubtful for DS who is still with us since he turned 41 earlier this month. I always thought one day i would again have little ones to take to Disney but like you said old age stinks

 

[dairyou]

I know your sadness but the suggestion pp made about letting DS take along a friend I feel is a good one. When my youngest DS was 18 DH and I let him bring along one of his friend since our oldest DS was not able/did not want to come along. We had a great time, different but still good and it afforded DH and I some time together while the boys did their thing a few times.

Since then we went to DL in 2007 with DS and his wife and also WDW in 2009 with them again. My DS has since passed away and last year we were suppose to go to WDW with my eldest DS and his wife but we had to cancel the trip.

This September DH and I now both retired will visit WDW, it is going to be very different we have never vacationed alone it is going to prove interesting to say the least. Neither of my DS had children and it looks doubtful for DS who is still with us since he turned 41 earlier this month. I always thought one day i would again have little ones to take to Disney but like you said old age stinks

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and here I am whining really for nothing. I hope your trip goes well. DH likes rides and I don't so someday it will be interesting to see what happens with you guys. People watching is always fun too.

Anyway, thanks for your post. It's always good to see how others handle such situations...of getting OLD

 

[blestmom]

Deb...I can so relate. I took several trips with my kids (5 of them) and they were so wonderful...fights and all! Then...high school sports got in the way, then dance shows, now college. I've gone from taking all 5, down to just 3 of them, and our last trip it was just the 2 youngest.

Yes, I look back with fondness at our 'whole family' trips. And I yearn for those days again. But...unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, so I just relive the memories over and over in my mind, and through looking at our scrapbooks. I hope to take the older kids again...who knows if it will be before they all get married and such, and I hope Disney is a place we can go again and again, amidst all the changes.

Watching your kids grow up is bittersweet. Look at it this way...you have those wonderful memories, and so do your kids. Even when they're teens and maybe would rather be somewhere else right now, they do remember the trips, and I think they'll look forward to another one. You've given them some wonderful experiences and memories that are a part of who they are now.

Keep dreaming Disney, and I think you'll get a chance to experience it with them again...just in a slightly different way.

Hugs!

 

[solstice621]

Glad I could help a little. And glad you feel better. Hope you have some good memories to bring back with you from this trip. They may be different than in the past, but still family memories.

And I'll keep your post in mind next time we are on vacation and I'm ready to pull my hair out with my crazy toddler and stubborn 5 year old! I know this will pass (too) quickly!

Travel safely tomorrow!

 

[Pakey]

Our youngest is turning 30. My husband and I now enjoy going just the two of us; it's different but we have long dinners, read together on our balcony, do spa treatments, etc.

And we are taking our grandson these days.

 

[dairyou]

It was strange. We did do some "traditions" this year. It just wasn't the same like eating funnel cakes while watching Illuminations. Or sharing a turkey leg between the four of us. It was even wierd not to fight with everyone for over an hour to save a spot lol...

I knew if I came here on the Dis you guys would understand

 

[Toluca Legs TurkeyCo]

When my kids were younger we would fly from Sacramento to Orlando sometimes twice a year to WDW. We started when my boys were 5 and 7. Well 4 years ago we decided to take a break because we felt like we had seen everything. Since then my 19 year old is in college so the three of us went to WDW...actually we're still here. Things just aren't the same. Though DS17 would never complain I can tell he'd rather be with his friends then old mom and dad. He wants to be on the slopes whizzing down the hill with his friends.

I miss the times when we came as a family. Enjoyed our time together (along with a couple of fights), and spent 11 days here. So now I'm sad. I doubt we will come here again unless it is DH and I. I know we will take sons, wives and grandchildren here someday..but hopefully that will be a while still.

This past 6 months have been a change for us but I didn't think it would affect our vacation

Wisdom anyone?

Deb

From about 14-22 kids want to be independent. Life is a party and their parents aren't part of it. But then when early twenties turns to mid twenties it gets played out and they turn back to their family and the experiences of their youth. Just wait it out and have faith.

Thats my experience. Hope it helps.

 

[Taratink]

This why I push vacations with my husband even if money is tight. We need to enjoy ourselves while our kids are still young and have time to spend with us. Memories are everything!!!

 

[AnthonyJPreston]

.

 

[dairyou]

From about 14-22 kids want to be independent. Life is a party and their parents aren't part of it. But then when early twenties turns to mid twenties it gets played out and they turn back to their family and the experiences of their youth. Just wait it out and have faith.

Thats my experience. Hope it helps.

I can wait 5 years....I thought I was going to have to wait at least 10 lol.

I forgot I can bribe girlfriends ( in seperate rooms I hope) to come with us too!

 

[dairyou]

I'm only 23 years old, and have no kids, so, I cannot relate to your story on that level, but, I remember those family trips, when my parents and family used to take me..... During my teen years, I gave up Disney for a while...

.....But now, i'm the one dragging my parents to Disney.

Keep your head up.

Yes, I remember a recent post of yours..I think it was about being a Disney Fanatic...

Can you be my son please

 

[chimo2u]

I could just cry reading your post....I sooo know how you feel! My oldest DS is 18 and didn't want to come on this trip with me....My DH didn't feel up to it either, since we have gone 2 times in the last 3 yrs or so.....Once in Jan '08 and again in Sept '09.

I fell in love with WDW on our first trip in Jan '08.....it was magical, and wonderful and no one wanted to leave! The boys where 12 and 15. My husband had just come home for a leave period from serving 6 months in Afghanistan....I think all this rolled up made it very special, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience (for the magical/wonder feeling we all felt). The boys where begging us to add on a few extra days when our last day came!

Fast Forward to the next trip..... 12 days in Sept. 2009. We went with family friends for the first 6 days. At first, all was great, then when it came time for the friends to go home, the last 6 days kind of dragged.... Oldest DS (17 at this time) had the teenage monk on. He kept saying he was "bored" and really....by day 8 we where all ready to go home! It was a nice trip....just not as magical as the first one, and perhaps a tad too long! Did I just say that it was too long????!!! I still left loving WDW though....and I think I kept wanting to go back to relive some of that magical, special feeling we all felt the first time.

My DH said he doesn't want to go back again for at least 5 yrs. He thinks that it won't feel special if we go back again and again.....He thinks we should have time in between to build the excitement and keep the special feeling alive. I agree, but I still love WDW, and wanted to go back soooo badly! Well, to make a long story short, hubby agreed to let me take this trip with my youngest DS (14)....almost 15.....

this trip is supposed to be a "get it out of my system trip!"....it is supposed to last me for the next 5 yrs. So, suffice to say.....after this trip, I won't be back for 5 more years minimum. I think I will be ok with that though. My DS 14 loves Disney as much as me! We also added a few days on at Universal (which we've never been to) to keep things fresh. So, we are both looking forward to our upcoming trip in 6 days to escape this horrid Alberta winter we've been having!
What's making me feel even more grateful for this trip though, is the time it will give me to share with my youngest son. I feel the boys slipping away from me so quickly now that they are getting to their older teen yrs. My 14 y. old (15 on March 6th) still loves time with me....and he loves Disney too. I want to cherish this trip because I know it will be the last of it's kind (a Mom n' Son getaway). I am planning on stopping and cherishing every moment I can with my son as we share those 8 days together.....I know that times like this are so fleeting!!

It is sad and makes me feel so lost sometimes, my life has been all about the boys for so long! I really don't know what I will do when there is no one vying for my attention all the time! I will remember to slow down and savour the time we have together next week....thanks for the reminder!

 

[eliza61]

Oh no!! Dont be sad. I still have young kids but I know this day is coming and I dread it. My eldest will be in college next time we go (after this trip in March) and I feel sick about it. Thats why I am trying to do everything possible this trip and squeeze it all in. But I will remember what you said and really try to enjoy myself!!

Really? You dread the day your kids grow up?

I'm sorry I find this so incrediably sad. I love my adult kids, I love watching them accomplish big things. I love the enthusiasim (sp) they are bringing into my house, the sense that the world can be any thing they want it to be. I love celebrating theirs success and seeing the look of pride on their faces when they realize they are successful in their own right. I love them telling me about their days and my son calls me if not every day at least every other day just to say hi.

2) I love the time on my own and with my husband. Don't you have things you like to do outside of your kids. My oldest is in college out of state and my youngest is a jr in h.s. I'm learning french at my local cc. I'm taking pastry classes to explore my first love, baking.

3) my dh and I went to Vegas over the new years holiday. I gotta tell you, it was fabulous watching my husbands eye light up like I was the sexiest (sp) thing on the strip on New Years eve. We've been to disney twice without the kids and yes it was different but it was wonderful not having todeal with kiddie meltdowns, nap times, stroller on the bus issues, where to eat that the kids would enjoy. trying to deal with kids on a plane. ugh as much as I love little kids there are days when we go to disney and loovvve not having to deal with that.
We did a his/her spa at the Swan. Disney can be great fun for adults too.

I love my memories but sorry my life did not end simply because my kids grew up. Try not thinking about it like it's the end of life as you know it. they are not disappearing, they are turning into what you have worked for. Wonderful, independant, contributing members of society.

 

[maccagerl]

It can be hard when the kids start transitioning into adulthood and are more invested in their friends and their own lives rather than family activities.
My 2 dd's are in college, but still love going to Disney.
My sadness comes from looking back and wishing I had taken them more often! We took my older daughter when she was 5, and had a great time.... but it was so expensive ( and we stayed outside of the park!) and hard to get enough time off together to make another trip. My husband and I subsequently divorced, and it wasn't until 10 years after that first trip that I brought my 2 girls back to WDW, again staying off property in order to afford it.
Since then, we've been able to go every couple of years, and able to stay on-property, but still I really wish I'd been able to take them more often when they were little, especially when I read the disboards!!
Childhood really does go by in the blink of an eye.....

 

[JenSop]

I'm here to tell you that even when the kids "grow up", they will never ever forget their childhood Disney memories.

How do I know? I'm one of those kids!

Well, I guess I'm a "grown up" now, but I started going to Disney in 1984 as a very little girl. Our grandparents took us on several subsequent trips through the 80's. (I also went on trips in high school and then lots as an adult.)

But those early trips from my childhood are so very very special to me. My grandfather has been gone for almost 15 years now, and I miss him so much. But every time I go to Disney, it's like he's almost there with me.

I remember on a quick trip in college, my sister and I were there with our mom and cousin (who is my mom's age.) We spent a little time with them on some rides, but ultimately went off on our own and had such a blast! We knew where everything was and relived some of our faves from when we were kids. And on my teenage trips in high school, I went with organized school trips (band, senior trip) so I was at Disney with my friends, which was way cool!

Now I'm just as Disney obsessed as I was when I was that little kid. It gave me such great joy to be able to take my parents and grandmother with DH and I on our very first DVC trip in 2008. (Pop-Pop would so have loved it!)

So hang in there. They'll come around. Definitely let them bring along a friend so that it regains the "cool" factor for awhile.

But don't be sad, those Disney memories you made will never go away, and you'll never know what wonderful memories are yet to come!