Is this normal for a daycare to do? Not happy!!!

[Jenvenza]

I am really upset about this right now. A litle background....my daughter is almost 2.5 and has never been in daycare. My Dh and I have always had jobs that worked with each other's schedules, so we didnt have to put her in any daycare. One of us was always home with her. Well, my DH was laid off months ago and he might have found a job now. The only problem is, it doesnt work with my hours so we would have to put DD in a daycare 3 days out of the week. I am not happy about it, but I know we will have to do it, so I started doing research on schools. It is overwhelming trying to pick a school/daycare.

So I found one I liked who has been in business for 45 years, and called them a few minutes ago to schedule a tour of their center. The woman said they didnt have any opening until the end of the month - which was fine. Then I said - Well, this is all new to us, she has never been in daycare before....and then I got cut off. She said in this holier-than-thou voice - Oh, I don't think I want to do this.

I said - Excuse me? I am sorry. What did you say?

She repeats - I dont think I want to deal with that.

Well that really pissed me off. I said, well, we I dont want her to go there either. And hung up.

This really struck a nerve with me. Is this normal for daycares to do? Not to accept children who have never been to daycare before? Our daughter is 2.5 and the minimum age at this daycare is 18 months - so there isnt too much of a difference.

I am sure I am overreacting, but this just seemed really odd to me. Am I even going to be able to find a place for her now?? Or was this just some grouchy lady?

 

[mickeyboat]

You found a grouchy lady. It is probably good you found out before your DD started attending there.

Not all day cares are evil, I promise!

Good luck finding the righrt one! Do you have friends or relatives who can give you a recommendation?

 

[Tiggerlover91]

No, that was a bit "unusual". As already said, good thing you found out now BEFORE your DD was enrolled. Good luck on finding something that works for you. My DS's daycare is RIGHT across the street! I LOVE IT!

 

[clovergirl5]

I am really upset about this right now. A litle background....my daughter is almost 2.5 and has never been in daycare. My Dh and I have always had jobs that worked with each other's schedules, so we didnt have to put her in any daycare. One of us was always home with her. Well, my DH was laid off months ago and he might have found a job now. The only problem is, it doesnt work with my hours so we would have to put DD in a daycare 3 days out of the week. I am not happy about it, but I know we will have to do it, so I started doing research on schools. It is overwhelming trying to pick a school/daycare.

So I found one I liked who has been in business for 45 years, and called them a few minutes ago to schedule a tour of their center. The woman said they didnt have any opening until the end of the month - which was fine. Then I said - Well, this is all new to us, she has never been in daycare before....and then I got cut off. She said in this holier-than-thou voice - Oh, I don't think I want to do this.

I said - Excuse me? I am sorry. What did you say?

She repeats - I dont think I want to deal with that.

Well that really pissed me off. I said, well, we I dont want her to go there either. And hung up.

This really struck a nerve with me. Is this normal for daycares to do? Not to accept children who have never been to daycare before? Our daughter is 2.5 and the minimum age at this daycare is 18 months - so there isnt too much of a difference.

I am sure I am overreacting, but this just seemed really odd to me. Am I even going to be able to find a place for her now?? Or was this just some grouchy lady?

Wow, that was uncalled for. My kids have never been in daycare either but I have never heard of any daycares with meeting the criteria that the child/children had to have been in daycare before. Thats a crock! As pp said, glad you found out now Geez. Hope you find somewhere that fits your family.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'd write this one off as good fortune.

One thing that concerns me about this day care (beyond the grouchy lady) is that she can't fit you in for a tour until the end of the month? And she has openings for kids? That says, to me, that she's not ready for you to just pop in. Which could be a sign that she doesn't keep the place regulated or clean like they're supposed to. I mean, I've toured many daycares in my days, and I've never had one say anything other than "drop by anytime to check us out". That's the way it should be...unless they have something to hide.

Red flags for me. I'm glad she helped you cross this one off your list.

 

[Jenvenza]

You found a grouchy lady. It is probably good you found out before your DD started attending there.

Not all day cares are evil, I promise!

Good luck finding the righrt one! Do you have friends or relatives who can give you a recommendation?

Thanks! I dont know anyone who uses a daycare right now. They are all either SAHM's or they use in-home child care.

No, that was a bit "unusual". As already said, good thing you found out now BEFORE your DD was enrolled. Good luck on finding something that works for you. My DS's daycare is RIGHT across the street! I LOVE IT!

I am glad I found out! Thank you!!!

Wow, that was uncalled for. My kids have never been in daycare either but I have never heard of any daycares with meeting the criteria that the child/children had to have been in daycare before. Thats a crock! As pp said, glad you found out now Geez. Hope you find somewhere that fits your family.

Thank you! I had never heard of such a thing either. That is why is threw me for a loop. She really caught me off guard!

I'd write this one off as good fortune.

One thing that concerns me about this day care (beyond the grouchy lady) is that she can't fit you in for a tour until the end of the month? And she has openings for kids? That says, to me, that she's not ready for you to just pop in. Which could be a sign that she doesn't keep the place regulated or clean like they're supposed to. I mean, I've toured many daycares in my days, and I've never had one say anything other than "drop by anytime to check us out". That's the way it should be...unless they have something to hide.

Red flags for me. I'm glad she helped you cross this one off your list.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if she meant they didnt have an opening in the school until the end of the month...not for the tour. Because on the web page, it says they do tours 3 times a day - everyday. But they are scheduled. So I dont know. I am glad she helped me cross this one off my lis, too.

 

[SaraJayne]

Is it possible to ask one of your SAHM friends to watch her? She may appreciate the extra bit of income.

Just another idea to throw out there. Good luck in your search!

 

[jjarman]

DS stayed in a couple of daycares when he was little and in private homes. Believe me the private home was so much better. Have you checked into that? You might check with your church and see if they know of anyone that keeps 2-3 kids in their home.

Not defending this woman in any way because she was downright rude and you are so lucky you found this out now but if her daycare is very regimented she may not want a child that was not use to following a schedule, sitting in a chair when they need them to, sharing toys, taking a nap in a room with several kids, etc. I know kindergarten teachers who can always tell the children who never went to day care. They don't act the same as children who have. Not that one is better or worse. Just saying what my teacher friends have said. That said, again you are lucky you found the grouch now instead of a few months from now.

 

[Miss Kelly]

Not defending this woman in any way because she was downright rude and you are so lucky you found this out now but if her daycare is very regimented she may not want a child that was not use to following a schedule, sitting in a chair when they need them to, sharing toys, taking a nap in a room with several kids, etc. I know kindergarten teachers who can always tell the children who never went to day care. They don't act the same as children who have. Not that one is better or worse. Just saying what my teacher friends have said. That said, again you are lucky you found the grouch now instead of a few months from now.

That's what I was thinking too. I've worked part time in a daycare for 10 years now, and we do prefer to take children who have been in daycare or some other kind of structured environment before coming here. It makes the transition so much easier.

 

[Jsme]

I am pretty sure most people are going to tell you that is not normal or called for.

You do not want your child in any faculity that you are not happy or comfortable with.

Daycare is a hard situation. My son never went to daycare. He did go school year of pre-kindergarten. My DD did go for 17 months. For the first 12 months I had 2 friends who kept her. The last 5 she was in a daycare. It was a nice daycare and we were as satisfied as one can be. Remember they are not home and there will be some things you do not like but this is not one you should even consider.

Yes children who have been home are more needy but they learn quickly that they must share or if they can not the daycare will let you know and ask you to take her out or find another place. Those occasions are not ususual but can happen.

 

[clutter]

Ok, so you say that you liked this daycare strictly from looking at the website? Keep in mind that the website tells you one thing: how good of a designer they hired.

Hiring daycare is about the people that will be taking care of your daughter. You cannot evaluate that until you've driven by the property, you've talked to the director, the staff and other parents. Some of the best daycares will have some of the worst (if any) websites. They don't need them because their parents, their facilities sell themselves.

I agree to not discount an in-home daycare. My dd spent the first 4 years in one, and is a marvelous 12 year old today. I felt like I left her with a better stay-at-home-mom than I could ever have been. We still have 'family' from those days.

Have you checked with your county/dity/jurisdiction? They may have a list of daycares and daycare providers that you can use to call and talk to. Our county has a wonderful resource online. When I moved my dd at age 1 1/2, I called the in-home providers, and as soon as I talked to the one, I knew I wanted my dd there, before I even met her. She was the same way, she knew that for the relationship to work, you just have to click. We're still good friends!

 

[Jenvenza]

Is it possible to ask one of your SAHM friends to watch her? She may appreciate the extra bit of income.

Just another idea to throw out there. Good luck in your search!

I just talke to one of my friends and she reccommended someone to me. And she is actually very close to my home! So maybe this will work out.

DS stayed in a couple of daycares when he was little and in private homes. Believe me the private home was so much better. Have you checked into that? You might check with your church and see if they know of anyone that keeps 2-3 kids in their home.

Not defending this woman in any way because she was downright rude and you are so lucky you found this out now but if her daycare is very regimented she may not want a child that was not use to following a schedule, sitting in a chair when they need them to, sharing toys, taking a nap in a room with several kids, etc. I know kindergarten teachers who can always tell the children who never went to day care. They don't act the same as children who have. Not that one is better or worse. Just saying what my teacher friends have said. That said, again you are lucky you found the grouch now instead of a few months from now.

I can understand what you mean, but I think if this lady has been in business for 45 years, then she should be able to handle all sorts of children. This isnt a small daycare.

But, yes, I am happy I found it out now, because I wouldnt want my daughter in that place now.

That's what I was thinking too. I've worked part time in a daycare for 10 years now, and we do prefer to take children who have been in daycare or some other kind of structured environment before coming here. It makes the transition so much easier.

I understand the transition is hard. It is extremely hard for me as well. But I thought people who were in the childcare business would be able to handle all sorts of children. Maybe if she would have worded it differently. But the way she came across was extremely rude and I would think someone who had been in this business for so long would have more tact when it came to this.

 

[Jenvenza]

Ok, so you say that you liked this daycare strictly from looking at the website? Keep in mind that the website tells you one thing: how good of a designer they hired.

Hiring daycare is about the people that will be taking care of your daughter. You cannot evaluate that until you've driven by the property, you've talked to the director, the staff and other parents. Some of the best daycares will have some of the worst (if any) websites. They don't need them because their parents, their facilities sell themselves.

I agree to not discount an in-home daycare. My dd spent the first 4 years in one, and is a marvelous 12 year old today. I felt like I left her with a better stay-at-home-mom than I could ever have been. We still have 'family' from those days.

Have you checked with your county/dity/jurisdiction? They may have a list of daycares and daycare providers that you can use to call and talk to. Our county has a wonderful resource online. When I moved my dd at age 1 1/2, I called the in-home providers, and as soon as I talked to the one, I knew I wanted my dd there, before I even met her. She was the same way, she knew that for the relationship to work, you just have to click. We're still good friends!

I looked at different websites and checked what parents had to say online. I never said I was going to put her in a daycare strictly from looking on the internet. I found ones that looked good and were state licensed. I called this school - the director - and was trying to schedule a tour. So i was planning on doing everyting you mentioned here. I just didnt get that far with this daycare because of the rude director. And I would never want her somewhere I wasnt completely comfortable, so I guess her being rude to me on the phone was a good thing. I found out sooner than later.

I am not ruling out in-home child care. I think that is a great way to go. I am just trying to keep all my options open right now.

 

[clutter]

I looked at different websites and checked what parents had to say online. I never said I was going to put her in a daycare strictly from looking on the internet. I found ones that looked good and were state licensed. I called this school - the director - and was trying to schedule a tour. So i was planning on doing everyting you mentioned here. I just didnt get that far with this daycare because of the rude director.

Oh, I didn't think you were going to do it strictly from the internet!!! All I meant was that I don't think it's necessarily a good way to even begin the weeding out process. As you've found out. A seemingly wonderful daycare is actually pretty cranky.

How did you find the websites you've been looking at, through internet searches? Check with your county or local licensing bureau. They should be able to provide you with a list of all the centers and in-home providers in your area. Driving by a center or provider will give you a much better feel for the place than a website will. Then phone.

I remember calling my dd's eventual pre-school at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon and the director/owner was so bubbly! That really knocked my socks off. In fact, out of curosity, I just looked at their website (they didn't have one way back then). Frankly, I'm not sure I would have called, it just wasn't that great. However, she's always had waiting lists through word of mouth, so she doesn't need a good website.

But above everything, trust your instincts!!!

 

[puffkin]

Not defending this woman in any way because she was downright rude and you are so lucky you found this out now but if her daycare is very regimented she may not want a child that was not use to following a schedule, sitting in a chair when they need them to, sharing toys, taking a nap in a room with several kids, etc. I know kindergarten teachers who can always tell the children who never went to day care. They don't act the same as children who have. Not that one is better or worse. Just saying what my teacher friends have said. That said, again you are lucky you found the grouch now instead of a few months from now.

I agree. I do think the director was incredibly rude. I do somewhat get what she is saying though. My DS3 is in a daycare center and I love it there and so does he. However, I silently cringe everytime a new student starts in his room. Most transition quickly (especially if they have been in another daycare situation) but some do not. Trust me, it affects the ENTIRE class when it is not a smooth transition. Daycare centers are VERY VERY VERY routine oriented and a new kid can really throw things off. This director may have just gotten through a rough transition and not so eloquently decided she didn't want to do another one. Who knows, but luckily you found out BEFORE taking your dd there.

You really need to go and personally look at the daycares though. DS was in 2 home care situations that I really really liked. Then his sitter had to stop watching kids due to health reasons. I was reasearching both home and centers. I visited several centers and was not happy with what I saw. I walked into his center and immediately knew it was the right fit for him and for his stage of life.

Good luck with your decision. Hopefully you will find something that works for you. And trust me daycare is NOT BAD! At least for my son, it is the best thing we could do for him. When I was laid off this summer, we actually scrimped in other areas just to keep him in daycare because he was thriving and loved it so much!

 

[Magic Mom]

DS stayed in a couple of daycares when he was little and in private homes. Believe me the private home was so much better. Have you checked into that?

I had the exact oppisite experience. I used in home care twice, and both times ended up beyond terrible. I would never use it again.

 

[Briarmom]

She's been a daycare provider for 45 years?! How old is she?

 

[Traveliz]

She's been a daycare provider for 45 years?! How old is she?

The daycare has been in business 45 years - it is likely not the same director or owner at this point.

It could be a family run business through the years...any number of things.

Liz

 

[Jenvenza]

Oh, I didn't think you were going to do it strictly from the internet!!! All I meant was that I don't think it's necessarily a good way to even begin the weeding out process. As you've found out. A seemingly wonderful daycare is actually pretty cranky.

How did you find the websites you've been looking at, through internet searches? Check with your county or local licensing bureau. They should be able to provide you with a list of all the centers and in-home providers in your area. Driving by a center or provider will give you a much better feel for the place than a website will. Then phone.

I remember calling my dd's eventual pre-school at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon and the director/owner was so bubbly! That really knocked my socks off. In fact, out of curosity, I just looked at their website (they didn't have one way back then). Frankly, I'm not sure I would have called, it just wasn't that great. However, she's always had waiting lists through word of mouth, so she doesn't need a good website.

But above everything, trust your instincts!!!

There is a website that lists all the daycares and schools in different cities, and I went on there and looked at parents comments. But I will definitely look where you suggested. Thanks for your help!

I agree. I do think the director was incredibly rude. I do somewhat get what she is saying though. My DS3 is in a daycare center and I love it there and so does he. However, I silently cringe everytime a new student starts in his room. Most transition quickly (especially if they have been in another daycare situation) but some do not. Trust me, it affects the ENTIRE class when it is not a smooth transition. Daycare centers are VERY VERY VERY routine oriented and a new kid can really throw things off. This director may have just gotten through a rough transition and not so eloquently decided she didn't want to do another one. Who knows, but luckily you found out BEFORE taking your dd there.

You really need to go and personally look at the daycares though. DS was in 2 home care situations that I really really liked. Then his sitter had to stop watching kids due to health reasons. I was reasearching both home and centers. I visited several centers and was not happy with what I saw. I walked into his center and immediately knew it was the right fit for him and for his stage of life.

Good luck with your decision. Hopefully you will find something that works for you. And trust me daycare is NOT BAD! At least for my son, it is the best thing we could do for him. When I was laid off this summer, we actually scrimped in other areas just to keep him in daycare because he was thriving and loved it so much!

I dont think daycare is bad at all. I think a lot of people get that vibe from me that I do though. It just hasnt been for us so far. And I loved that we could keep her at home all this time. I think this will be harder on me than on her actually. And while I do understand that the transition is hard - what else are parents like me - who have all of a sudden been thrown into this situation - supposed to do if daycares dont like taking children who have never been before? I want to feel confident about this decision -considering I have no other choice right now - and now I will be worried about messing up everyone else's schedule at the daycare and that my child will be the reason, when that isnt her fault.

I had the exact oppisite experience. I used in home care twice, and both times ended up beyond terrible. I would never use it again.

My sister had a really bad experience with in-home childcare, too. Where to woman tried to steal all the stuff my sister brought over for her child! She seemed soooo nice and loving at first and then she just turned crazy! It was a nightmare for her!

The daycare has been in business 45 years - it is likely not the same director or owner at this point.

It could be a family run business through the years...any number of things.

Liz

Exactly.

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Good grief! What a blessing you found out ahead of time. I'd be irritated too. Geez, I'm surprised she said that.

I used to work at a private preschool/daycare. Let me tell you, there are all kinds of little kids who come. Why this genius thought your daughter would be an issue is beyond me. While at this daycare, I'd have kids who I'd literally have to peel off of their parents and kids who came skipping in with smiles. A good daycare should be able to handle both. So I'm confused why this woman would not be able to handle a 2.5 year old who's never been to daycare.

Definitely ask around. I'm sure your friends will be more than happy to help you out. I agree with previous posters too that asking a SAHM might work even better for you. Trust your instincts and go with your gut. It's an emotional decision, you're trusting someone else to care for your child. Being thorough (like you are already) makes perfect sense. Good luck finding someone for your little girl! She's an absolute cutie from the pics in your signature!